With her elder brothers and husband away, Lu Songli consciously took on the responsibility of being a parent.
Lu Songli said hello to her fourth sister-in-law, Su, before starting to deal with the matter.
The cause of the matter is very simple. Third uncle Qin Zhao asked someone to send back some toys, and her mother-in-law casually distributed them to her three daughters-in-law, asking them to share them with their children.
As for her fourth sister-in-law, she took two toys. After the children got off school, she casually gave the older one to Qin Dan and the younger one to Qin Bin.
When they broke up, Qin Bin wanted the older one, but her fourth sister-in-law refused because he was an older brother and wanted to give up his younger brother.
Later, the children played together, and soon the two brothers started fighting.
Her fourth sister-in-law was very angry. After pulling the two away, she lectured the older Qin Bin, saying that he was ignorant and so on.
Qin Bin couldn't help but talked back, saying that she was partial, which made her cry with anger.
At this time, Qin Jia came to her and said secretly, "Aunt Six, don't scold the fourth cousin. In fact, outside, the fourth cousin is very protective of the seventh cousin. But every time the seventh cousin is injured, the fourth aunt will always scold him." Cousin, he said he didn’t protect his seventh cousin well.”
"Okay, Aunt Six knows. You can go back to your room."
Lu Songli thought for a while and knocked on Qin Bin's door first.
Now the Qin family occupies three rows of bungalows, and the children also have their own rooms.
A young but alert voice came from inside, "Who?"
Lu Songli was funny, this child was quite vigilant, "Your sixth aunt."
There was silence in the room.
She wasn't in a hurry either.
After a while, a rustling sound came from the room, and soon the door was slowly opened, and a little head poked out.
Qin Bin was relieved to see that his sixth aunt was really the only one outside.
"Aunt Six, come in."
Lu Songli noticed that his eyes were red.
After Qin Bin returned to the house, he sat on a chair and read a book.
After Lu Songli chose a seat and sat down, she waved to him, "Come, talk to Aunt Six."
"Sixth Aunt, I haven't finished memorizing the book Master asked me to memorize."
"Okay, I'm not here to scold you. There's no need to be so defensive about me. By the way, has Aunt Six scolded you?"
Qin Bin thought for a while and shook his head. Aunt Six had never scolded anyone before.
So, Qin Bin walked over slowly.
"Did you fight with your brother today?"
"Yes." Qin Bin replied in a low voice, with a look of obvious resistance on his face.
Lu Songli asked him, "Did you win? Or did you lose? After the fight, were you happy?"
Qin Bin lowered his head. In fact, after the beating, he felt heavy in his heart.
"I think what you did was quite stupid."
Qin Bin was stunned. Aunt Six said he was stupid, didn't she mean he was wrong?
"You are older than Qin Dan. If you win, it is called victory without force. If you lose, I will ask you if you are embarrassed?"
Lu Songli did not judge him from the perspective of right or wrong, but considered the issue from his perspective. Qin Bin's guard was suddenly lowered, and he thought about her words seriously. Was it really like this?
"My brother is so irritating. He knows that I like that wooden horse that can move, and he keeps beating it. He doesn't cherish it at all." He said a few words to him. Later, in order to make him angry, his brother even killed the wooden horse directly. He threw it hard on the ground and hit his brother because he couldn't bear it anymore.
"What's the purpose of your fight?"
Qin Bin hesitated.
Lu Songli understood. She just felt that his mother was partial and treated her younger brother better than him.
"After this fight, did you get what you wanted?"
Qin Binxin said, no.
"After the beating, you said some words that made your mother cry. Knowing that your mother is sad, won't you be sad?"
Qin Bin: He will.
"So, when we say these angry words, apart from hurting others and ourselves, we have not achieved our goal, right?"
Qin Bin nodded, then he hesitated and humbly asked, "Aunt Six, what should I do?"
"Your current attitude and behavior are very good. As children, it is normal for you to desire the attention, affirmation and love of your parents and elders."
"Between relatives, if we have any requests, we can speak out directly, or use some methods to achieve our goals tactfully. It's okay. If you have a way, use your own way. If you don't have a way, just use it. The posture of a weak person is to hit the ball straight." As the saying goes, sincerity is always the last resort, and a child who can cry will be fed.
"Aunt Six, what does hitting a straight ball mean?"
"Just express your feelings directly. For example, for today's matter, you can directly tell your mother that you like the moving wooden horse very much. If possible, ask her to give it to you. Or discuss it with your brother. , give him anything in exchange, instead of saying nothing and keeping your worries in your heart."
"Also, Aunt Six also knows that you took your brother out to play, and then he was injured and you were scolded by your mother. I will tell your mother later. Aunt Six knows that your brother is injured, and you have done your best. Six Auntie also knows that it is not your obligation to take care of your younger brother. If you are willing to take care of your younger brother, that is your responsibility as an older brother, and you have done a great job."
Qin Bin cried and nodded, indicating that he understood.
Qin Bin cried for a long time, crying out all the grievances and sadness in his heart.
Lu Songli stood quietly on the side, occasionally handing him a handkerchief.
Lu Songli didn't blame the child as soon as he came up, saying that he was wrong about this and that, and then made his mother sad or something like that. Everything has a cause and effect, and it may be an adult's behavior that unintentionally hurts the child.
They are all human beings for the first time, and they are all made of flesh and blood. They will hurt if they are hurt. Parents, you really should not be superior to others and put yourself completely above your children.
When Qin Bin stopped crying, he became very embarrassed.
Lu Songli knew that he had solved the problem, so she also made a request to him, "Promise Aunt Six that when you are angry, you will say as few bad words as possible. Aunt Six is not afraid that your words will hurt others, but that she is worried about you." You will regret it if you calm down.”
They have all been children. In fact, as children's bodies grow, the hormones in their bodies are not always balanced, and their ability to control emotions fluctuates. But Lu Songli still hoped that he could control it as much as possible.
"Okay." Qin Bin agreed.
Lu Songli knew that this child was serious about his promises and would try his best to fulfill his promise once he promised, "Then let's talk about this?"
"Well, Aunt Six, are you tired? Go back and rest quickly."
"Then Aunt Six is leaving. Don't forget to endorse it."
Qin Bin: ...That's just his excuse.
After Lu Songli left Qin Bin, she went to her fourth sister-in-law and told her that Qin Bin was fine.
"Sixth brother and sister, thank you, I'm really sorry for troubling you." Su Jing was very embarrassed.
She and her second sister-in-law and sister-in-law both knew that the sixth brother and sister worked in the county governor's house, which was a secret in the Qin family. At the same time, she was also very busy. Her mother-in-law and they tried not to bother her with trivial matters at home.
"Fourth sister-in-law, we are a family, there is no need to be so open to outsiders." Lu Songli found that Qin Dan was already fast asleep on her fourth sister-in-law's couch.
"Fourth sister-in-law, actually speaking, when children fight, we as the elders have the greatest responsibility."
Su Jing smiled bitterly, "I know, Bin'er said I'm partial, but I really never thought about which child I would favor." She only has two sons.
Lu Songli declined to comment. Nowadays, her fourth sister-in-law doesn't want to be partial, regardless of deeds, but in fact, her words and deeds are indeed partial.
"Fourth sister-in-law, I know, I understand. Just like before when the two brothers went out and Xiaodan was injured, you couldn't help but scold Xiaobin and said that he didn't protect his brother well. I know that fourth sister-in-law was worried about Xiaodan and was in a hurry. What you said. But your words are very hurtful."
"You must know that it is not Xiaobin's obligation to take care of his younger brother. He is willing to take care of his younger brother. That is his responsibility as an older brother, and he has done a great job. We cannot throw our responsibilities to a child and then accuse him of not doing a good job. , this is a bit too much. If you think about it from his perspective, would you feel aggrieved?"
Su Jing lowered her head in shame, "Sixth brother and sister, I did make a mistake in this matter. I will try my best to change it in the future."
This time the problem was solved, but Su Jing was still worried. A seven or eight-year-old boy is at the age when cats hate dogs. She was worried about the fight.
When Lu Songli heard the source of her worries, she thought for a while and said, "Sister-in-law Fourth, in fact, if you want to unite the two brothers, it is not impossible."
I heard Qin Sheng say that Qin Dan looked very much like his dead fourth brother. The fourth sister-in-law's partiality should be unconscious. To correct this unconsciousness, just pointing it out is not enough. Another method must be used.
Su Jing asked hurriedly, "What can I do?"
She knew that her sixth brother and sister were resourceful, and it would be great if she could give her an idea.
"Artificially create a common enemy for them and let them face the outside world in unison." If Qin Ming were still alive, it would actually be best for him, the father, to play this role.
Su Jing seemed to understand, "Sixth brother and sister, please explain in detail?"
"You are like this..."