Date: Monday, December 3, 2018
Diary: To be honest, as a lazy person, I don’t want to keep a diary.
But the world is so fucked up. If you don’t write a diary, you seem to be sorry for this sudden opportunity.
…
In the summer of August 2018, I became a glorious high school party member and began a dark high school life.
Why is it said that there is no daylight? This has to start with the overall state of our class.
Other people's high school life is novel, interesting, and full of fighting spirit. Don't mention it, my junior high school life is like this.
But, children born in rural families always remember things earlier than children in cities.
Maybe it's talent or other reasons. I haven't been a talkative child since I was a child. On the contrary, I prefer to observe people's emotions.
Uncle Li next door looked extremely sad one morning, and I knew that maybe his family members were dead.
This sense of insight is infinitely amplified when classmates communicate with each other.
A frown, a shrug, or a tilt of the head.
I can detect three kinds of psychology: impatience, indifference, and disdain.
Life in junior high school is innocent. The students are used to having fun after class. Even though the school is very strict, it is still full of joy.
Thinking about it, I really miss my old life. I regret very much. Why did I have to get such high grades and come to such a dead class...
That's right, it's the Dead Man's Class. Here are the best students in the entire Qiuling. They are so good that they are extremely self-disciplined and even unsmiling.
In this kind of class, all I feel is extreme depression. Everyone is too busy with their studies.
Here, there are no games, no joy, and even talking loudly will feel sinful, because everyone will turn and look at you, as if you have taken away their interests.
There is only one word left in my mind: snobbery.
If you take each person individually, they are good children with strong self-discipline. However, when a group of such people are gathered together, this nature changes.
What it created was an extremely deformed class form that I had never imagined.
A depressing class environment will not bring any joy, and for a sensitive person, it will be a nightmare.
…
School started in August, and within just two months, I was diagnosed with mild depression.
A person who lived a very happy life in junior high school was depressed by life in just two months. You can imagine how terrible this kind of class is.
It's not that I don't have friends in the class, but they can't be considered close friends, because I'm sure they can't understand their thoughts.
You may even think: Why are you so pretentious? Where is it not studying? Is there any need to hate everyone so much?
No, no, no, you don’t understand. You will never understand how much the environment affects a person, and you don’t deserve to understand either!
Out of complete despair for school life, I had no choice but to bury myself completely in movies, novels and comics.
There is the only remaining happiness that can be brought into the classroom...
I have read countless special effects blockbusters, time travel stories, and royal comics, but I still cannot get rid of the deepest darkness in my heart.
After all, it is fake and fictitious. If you try to escape, reality will eventually pull you back.
I have thought about changing classes, but, if such a university has no special requirements, will it allow you to change classes midway?
My grades began to plummet, and my few remaining friends gradually left me. I began to no longer want to attend classes, and my consciousness began to sink.
However, my life completely changed that afternoon.
——Awakening
purple sky,
The earth composed of black and white smoke,
The golden hall like lightning and thunder,
The extremely majestic white-haired figure,
And, I am extremely small...
"Didi, didi, didi..."
Suddenly there was a beeping sound in the world, and the consciousness seemed to travel through time and space.
Suddenly, the strangeness disappeared.
The familiar ceiling, the photos hanging on the wall, the dim light coming from the window, and the alarm clock that kept ringing in my hand.
It turned out to be a dream. I laughed at myself. After reading too many fantasy novels, I would always have some weird dreams.
But something seemed wrong.
The alarm clock is in the palm of your hand...
In the palm of your hand...
hand! ?
Why? I remember I didn’t sleep with the alarm clock?
Even if I sink, my memory is not so bad that I can't even remember putting the alarm clock on the windowsill last night.
Something goes terribly wrong...
At this moment, I am neither ecstatic nor at a loss. The long period of depression has given me a calm mind. When things go wrong, there must be monsters. Is it because of a dream?
I thought about what happened in the dream, but I was quickly disappointed. I couldn't remember anything.
It was said in "Inception" that people can only remember the second half of a dream, because it is not something you have personally experienced, but is constructed by your subconscious mind.
What I can remember clearly is the purple sky, the black and white yellow air, the golden hall shining with thunder, the old man with an immortal spirit...
No longer obsessed with the dream, I turned my attention to the alarm clock. That was the problem. Even if it was only for a moment, I deeply remembered the mysterious feeling.
I tried to grab my hands in the air and pointed my palms at the alarm clock on the ground, but it didn't work.
Palm, grasp, fist, like, middle finger, all kinds of actions were used one by one, but the alarm clock still made no movement.
Alas, this is strange. Just now I clearly felt like my arms were being extended.
Suddenly, I thought of my previous state, when I seemed to have my eyes closed.
Following the previous feeling, I closed my eyes, and something shocking happened - a spherical perspective circle appeared around my head.
Radiating out from the center of the head, an area of 1.24 meters in radius is revealed - the holes in the wall, the internal structure of the desk lamp, the scattered books in the drawer, the beating internal organs in my body...
I'm really not feeling well. Is this considered internal vision? It was too scary.
When I tried to squat down, the circle of vision also dropped, and a transparent object like an alarm clock penetrated from the dark "membrane" on the edge of the circle of vision and appeared directly in my mind.
I suddenly had the idea of picking it up, and sure enough, this mysterious feeling appeared again, as if a nerve extended out of the body, but it was not a nerve. Could it be mental power? Or the Force? Telekinesis?
Only then did I suddenly come back to my senses. It seemed that fate had really played a big joke on me.
That's right, there is no time travel in novels, no poor people relying on mutation as often said in movies, and no world line changes.
This ability that I had longed for appeared in my hands out of thin air.
Is it a miracle? Or is it man-made? I prefer the latter, because pie in the sky never falls.
But after excluding these factors, I suddenly discovered that it seems that life is no longer so boring.
I've had a lot of time to develop this ability, and I'm ecstatic about the potential it's showing now, just for object control and perception.
As for the classmates, let them go to hell. You are a bunch of idiots who know nothing but studying. I will not shed another tear for you.
My life will be completely different from this moment on.
As for where this ability comes from and what threats there are, who cares?
In the limited time, enjoy the happiness that life brings, this is the true meaning of life.
Of course, there are still some pursuits in life. I write this diary not only to record my future life, but also to prepare for my funeral. If I die unfortunately, this diary can be used as a reference to alert the world.
Perhaps, this is the last kindness in my heart.
——Chen Xingtian
