Looking at the young men and women hanging out intimately in the mall, Fu Jingchuan looked a little dazed.
Tongtong Xu didn't really like this kind of atmosphere either.
The shopping mall is full of children being held by their mothers or being hugged while shopping together.
Fu Jingchuan clearly saw that the calmness on Tongtong's face slowly turned into envy and loss.
This is why Fu Jingchuan has been reluctant to take her out.
But as Lin Shanshan said, this is a process that Tongtong will inevitably go through in the future.
In the future, whether she goes out or goes to school, she will often be accompanied by children accompanied by their mothers. It is impossible for him to let her live in a vacuum world just because he is afraid that Tongtong will be sad.
Lin Shanshan also saw the envy and disappointment on Tongtong's little face, and tried her best to smile at her: "Baby, let's go shopping for beautiful clothes."
His tone was also lighthearted and funny, trying hard to make her happy.
Tongtong glanced at Lin Shanshan, but shook her head hesitantly, and turned back to look at Fu Jingchuan.
Fu Jingchuan smiled at her: "How about we go buy New Year pictures first? The house needs to be beautifully decorated during the Chinese New Year. Dad doesn't know how to dress up. Can Tongtong help dad?"
Tongtong, who was still lost, immediately nodded seriously: "Okay."
He also struggled to get off Fu Jingchuan's arms, holding Fu Jingchuan's hand and walking into the supermarket.
Lin Shanshan looked at Tongtong who had regained some of her vitality, and felt a little relieved. She had to say that Fu Jingchuan was Tongtong's biological father after all, and he was just as good at catching Tongtong's little thoughts as Shiyang.
Thinking of Shiyang, Lin Shanshan felt a little sad again.
This was supposed to be their first Spring Festival as a family of three, but unexpectedly...
Such sadness made her feel sorry for Tongtong. She didn't have a father before, and now she doesn't have a mother...
Ke Chen looked at her sad eyes on Tongtong and touched her arm lightly with his elbow: "Let's go. Adults need a process of getting used to it, let alone children."
"I just feel bad." Lin Shanshan murmured, but she didn't argue with him and chased after Tongtong.
When Tongtong came to the New Year picture area, she began to carefully select the hanging decorations. She was focused on helping Fu Jingchuan choose the New Year pictures. She was immersed in it. A busy and expectant smile slowly appeared on her face, and she pointed at different items from time to time. I asked Fu Jingchuan if the paintings and hangings were available, and he was very busy.
Fu Jingchuan actually had no intention of arranging things for the New Year. The more specific the arrangement scene that Tongtong described for him, the more intense the pain in his heart felt like being pricked by needles.
He vaguely remembered that in the first year of his marriage to Shiyang, Shiyang was like Tongtong, pointing at various places in the house and asking him seriously what to hang here and what to hang there, but at that time, he His mind was not on these things. In response to her eager and expectant discussion, he just nodded calmly: "Okay, you just decide."
Such dullness slowly extinguished the light in her eyes.
He even remembered many details of how he and Shiyang took Tongtong out for fun after recognizing Tongtong.
Every time, he responded to all Tongtong's excitement and expectations with such a gentle voice and patience. Occasionally when he looked up, he would always see her looking at him and Tongtong slightly absentmindedly, with a mother's look in her eyes. Feeling happy, but also hiding a little bit of disappointment.
The disappointment in her eyes was probably a reminder of his previous indifference to her.
The same scene, but a completely different attitude. The comparison between the two makes it seem that she is not important, and the only important thing is the child.
Shiyang must have been sad and lost at that time.
"It's always seemed like we were very close to each other, but it seemed like we were separated by mountains and couldn't get close to each other."
"I once tried to enter your world, but I couldn't get in."
"I have a family, but I don't have one. Ever since I was little, I really want to feel what it feels like to be loved by someone, whether it's my family or my husband. I always feel that the things I haven't gotten in my life are always worth it. It’s something that needs to be experienced, so I’m always too obsessed with the question of whether there is love or not.”
Shiyang's peace letter, which he had written with great determination but never had the courage to send to him, unexpectedly came to mind again. Fu Jingchuan was severely beaten when he helped Tongtong take out the New Year pictures.
"dad?"
Tongtong looked at him in confusion.
Ke Chen and Lin Shanshan also looked at Fu Jingchuan in confusion.
The two of them saw Fu Jingchuan's black eyes were red, with tears vaguely filling his eyes, and his expression was somewhat dazed.
Fu Jingchuan's sudden loss of composure made Ke Chen and Lin Shanshan look at each other in surprise.
"Mr. Fu?"
Ke Chen called him worriedly.
Fu Jingchuan turned away slightly. He didn't say anything. He just silently took down the New Year picture, squatted down, and gently handed the New Year picture to Tongtong's hand. He didn't say anything, but looked at Tongtong apologetically and sadly.
Tongtong was a little at a loss.
"Dad." She called him nervously.
Fu Jingchuan forced a smile at her, silently reached out and stroked her hair. After a while, his wet red black eyes looked at her, and said to her in a dumb voice: "Dad is fine. Dad just suddenly... thought of mother, thought of her... …My father didn’t treat my mother well before…”
For Tongtong, he never deliberately hides his feelings, but communicates with her equally.
But these had never happened in his communication with Shiyang.
She is obviously the one who deserves this equal treatment and communication the most.
Fu Jingchuan didn't know how she forced herself to reconcile with herself step by step amid expectations and disappointments.
The more he compared and recalled, the redder in Fu Jingchuan's black eyes became heavier, and even his Adam's apple trembled slightly. It took a lot of effort to suppress the emotion.
Tongtong didn't understand what Fu Jingchuan was thinking, so she said to him in a childish voice, "It's okay. Mom is very good. She won't blame dad."
They were obviously words of comfort, but they pierced Fu Jingchuan's heart like a sharp knife.
He hugged Tongtong tightly without saying a word.
Lin Shanshan looked at Fu Jingchuan with complicated emotions.
Her words reminded her of all Shi Yang's unworthiness, and all her feelings of anger and hatred towards Fu Jingchuan were brought back. But seeing Fu Jingchuan like this, she couldn't bear to scold him, but she was holding back a feeling in her heart. There is nowhere to vent your anger.
"You just know? What's the use of knowing now? Everyone is gone." Lin Shanshan couldn't help but roared at Fu Jingchuan, her eyes were red as she roared, remembering the loss and sadness that Shi Yang felt after marrying Fu Jingchuan. Feeling wronged and feeling sad for her again.
Seeing that Fu Jingchuan was already extremely uncomfortable, Ke Chen quickly grabbed Lin Shanshan and lowered his voice to persuade her: "Forget it, Mr. Fu is not feeling well now either."
"He deserves it!"
Lin Shanshan said something bitterly, but she was not really a hard-hearted person after all. After venting her anger, she couldn't help but glanced at Fu Jingchuan worriedly, fearing that he would be stimulated to the point where he couldn't think about anything. He had been in an abnormal state since Shiyang's accident. In this state, the whole person is like a tightened string.
She was afraid that one day the string would break and Fu Jingchuan would be gone.
