Fu Jingchuan was also staring at her back without speaking, waiting for her answer.
"I have no idea."
After a long time, Shiyang finally spoke softly.
She didn't look back, just stared at the closed door in front of her.
"Fu Jingchuan, have you really loved me?" she asked, her voice very soft.
Fu Jingchuan seemed not to expect that she would ask this suddenly, and was a little stunned for a moment.
"You said you can't let me go. Is it possible that your so-called possessiveness towards me is just a matter of property rights?" Shiyang's voice was still very soft, "We were married and had an intimate relationship, so you Do you subconsciously regard me as your property?"
"I have loved you, so I know very well what it feels like to love someone. To truly love someone is to be willing to lower your self-esteem to the dust and not to let him feel a little bit sad or embarrassed." Shiyang paused in his voice, and spoke after a while. After a while, he continued, "You are very kind to me, I know, and I am also very touched. But this kind of kindness comes with a price. If I accept your kindness, my child and I will have to endure your family endlessly. I have to look down on you and look down on you, and I have to endure the impurity in your feelings.
"I'm a very emotionally obsessed person. I care about love, but I don't have to be in love. Even if I love that man again, no matter how good he is to me, as long as I'm not his only one, I would rather not. I don't Would do the next best thing to anyone.”
In the past, Shiyang thought that when she said these words, she would be unable to control her emotions and cry, but she didn't.
She was obviously feeling sad, but her voice was dead silent and without any waves.
Such deathly silence in such a late night, even the night has become cold.
Fu Jingchuan said nothing.
Her words stopped him.
He couldn't let her go, he was disturbed by her again and again, and he couldn't stand her getting together with other men...
All kinds of things, he thought it was love.
But now Shiyang proposed another possibility to him. She also told him personally what her love was like. She lowered her self-esteem to the dust and was reluctant to let him feel a little sad and embarrassed.
Shiyang didn't wait for his answer.
"I'm going back to rest first." She said softly, and the man opened the door and entered the house.
Fu Jingchuan did not go in.
He sat in the living room all night.
Shi Yang also stayed in the room with his eyes open until dawn.
When he got up in the morning, Fu Jingchuan was preparing breakfast in the kitchen.
Shiyang didn't go over to disturb him and went to wash up first.
Fu Jingchuan also knew that she had been here and did not leave her alone.
It wasn't until both of them sat at the table to have breakfast that Fu Jingchuan spoke softly: "I thought about it all night last night. I don't know what love is. I have never loved anyone, and I have never thought about whether to love or not." The question of love. I thought that after experiencing divorce and your constant departure, I still couldn’t let go of you, so it should be love. That day in the hospital, I heard all the conversations between you and my dad, your decisiveness and indifference Hesitation makes me very angry, it seems that no matter how hard I try, to you, I am just garbage that can be thrown away anytime, anywhere, and this feeling is very hurtful."
"sorry."
Shiyang apologized to him seriously.
"You didn't say sorry clearly." Fu Jingchuan also looked at her seriously, "Are you sorry because I didn't know I said those words outside? Or am I sorry because that's what you think in your heart?"
Shiyang lowered her eyelids, she couldn't answer this question.
Let's do both.
Between an undisturbed life and Fu Jingchuan, she chose the former.
Between not embarrassing Fu Jingchuan and making herself sad, she still chose the former.
Fu Jingchuan also guessed from her silence that if it wasn't important, it wasn't important. Further investigation would only reveal the naked truth.
This is also a fact that he doesn't want to face these days.
So "sit down and talk" has lost its meaning to them.
"I've been thinking a lot these days." Fu Jingchuan pursed his lips slightly and looked at her, "I have considered whether to separate and what Tongtong will do after separation."
Shi Yang couldn't help but look at him.
"Honestly, I can't give you an answer now. The problem between the two of us is no longer just the two of us, but also involves Tongtong." Fu Jingchuan also looked at her, very calmly, "You thought about this issue earlier than me. You also planned ahead of me, what are your own plans?"
Shiyang pursed her lips slightly: "My plan is very simple. I just need to take Tongtong to another city."
"What if she wants to find her father?" Fu Jingchuan looked at her and asked, "She didn't know that a father existed before. She had no desire for this, but what about now?"
Shiyang was silent for a while while holding the spoon, then raised her eyes to look at him: "I won't stop you from visiting her. If you are free, you can even take her over and live with her for a while. When she needs the two of us to accompany her, I can also coordinate time.”
Fu Jingchuan's lips curled up slightly, like a hint of sarcasm, very lightly, but he quickly put it away.
He didn't speak anymore, just drank his porridge in silence.
When the porridge was almost at the bottom, his movements finally stopped, but he did not raise his head.
"Shiyang." He called her name softly, "As for your second question last night, we have actually discussed it many times. Whether you believe it or not, I must solemnly reiterate it to you. I do not deny that initially It is true that I noticed you because of your similar temperament to Xiao Shen Yu. I will not deny that when I hear news about Shen Yu again, I will have a conditioned reaction to explore her news. But from beginning to end, you have never been my retreat. Ask for the next best thing.”
After saying that, he looked up at her: "I know what I'm doing."
