"Shiyang, I tried to resist your influence on me time and time again. I wanted to let go as you wanted, but I was slapped in the face again and again. So, I even wanted to find someone to make do with it and give up everything I have for you. The inability to let go has become a responsibility to another person, and I can use this responsibility to completely forget you and get rid of you."
His voice paused slightly, and his dark eyes still looked at her calmly, "But when I really sat at the blind date table, when I thought that from now on, there will be no possibility for you and me, what should I say to others?" "We're together" but I can't say it out loud. I'd rather accept this back and forth, I'd rather be forced by you again and again and wish I had never met you, rather than cut off any possibility with you."
Shiyang looked at him blankly.
She saw a slight redness in Fu Jingchuan's calm black eyes, as well as a kind of self-abandonment that pushed herself to a desperate situation but had to accept it.
He didn't dodge, he just looked at her blankly.
When the focus of her eyes slowly fell into his eyes, he finally said: "Shiyang, come back."
"Let's try again, okay?" The deep voice was soft and slow.
Shiyang's tears flowed down immediately, and she didn't know why she was crying. At that moment, she suddenly felt very sad.
She didn't even know what she was feeling sad about, but her tears were like a faucet that couldn't be turned off or stopped.
Fu Jingchuan stood up, stood in front of her, and opened his arms to hug her.
Shi Yang raised his hand slightly to block his outstretched arm.
Fu Jingchuan's heart sank slightly and he looked at her with complicated eyes.
"I'm sorry." Shiyang choked and opened the door, "I think... I should... accept it. There seems to be no principled fault between us. I even... still like you, but I don't... …Excited by it, or looking forward to it, I just suddenly felt…sad, I don’t know…why, but it shouldn’t be…like this.”
Her voice was broken by sobs.
Sometimes she would rather she hated Fu Jingchuan, at least this way, when he said to her, "Let's do it again, okay?", she could still struggle and weigh it.
But no, she would be moved because he was willing to go to her, but she no longer had the courage to go to him, and she no longer even had any expectations or thoughts of being with him.
Fu Jingchuan has never made any principled fault, she has always known it.
She didn't know what was wrong. She obviously still had feelings for him, and was even attracted to his body. She was alone in facing his request of "let's try again, shall we?" and was rejected.
She has found a path that suits her better, but there has never been Fu Jingchuan on this path.
Fu Jingchuan looked at the sadness in her eyes, and the hand that wanted to wipe her tears froze slightly in mid-air, looking at her with extremely complicated eyes.
For the first time in his life, he felt at a loss.
Shiyang's mood calmed down a little during the long silence.
She lowered her head and did not look at Fu Jingchuan.
"I...want to go back." She whispered, her voice still a little hoarse.
Fu Jingchuan looked at her and said nothing.
Shiyang walked around him, and Fu Jingchuan finally spoke.
"I send you."
He turned around and took the car keys, opened the door, and stood at the door waiting for her.
Shiyang glanced at him hesitantly.
"Thanks."
She thanked her softly and walked out.
Fu Jingchuan drove her back.
On the way back, the familiar silence still spread in the car.
No one spoke.
When the car stopped in the community where Shiyang lived, Shiyang, who had been silent until now, spoke softly.
"I have arrived."
Fu Jingchuan said nothing.
Shiyang unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door to get out of the car.
Fu Jingchuan reached out and held her hand again.
Shi Yang didn't look back, he just tried to twitch, but it didn't work.
She had to say: "Fu Jingchuan, can you let me go first?"
Fu Jingchuan slowly turned his head and looked at her: "Shiyang, I don't want to let go."
"I've tried to let go many times, but I can't let go and I don't want to let go again."
