After a while, Gourd said in a slightly arrogant tone: [No problem, human! I reluctantly play this role-playing game with you. This is very difficult because I have never seen a real vampire... But you have to know that you are just my food! 】
[Don’t push yourself too far, you know? Ready for tonight's tribute, where do you want me to bite, human? 】
[Are you satisfied with my imitation of human vampire speaking tone? 】
Gourd said strange words in a serious tone.
Zhang Ming broke into cold sweat all over his body...
Lao Zhang, who possesses 160,000 attributes and can live for 130,000 years, is a little panicked. He always feels that one day he will be bewitched by this gourd.
Then he said righteously: "Please call me..."
He found that he was not thick-skinned enough to say those perverted words, and finally ran away on the grounds that "talking too much to the gourd may be dangerous."
Only the small gourd is left swaying in the wind. Did I do something wrong again?
What do you want me to call you?
…
…
Time passes day by day, and happy days are always short.
More time, calm with a hint of dullness.
After leaving the Honggang people group, Zhang Ming actually felt a little lonely. After talking about the mountains of 1984 and drinking 1984 rice wine, he suddenly quit and the discomfort immediately came up.
If you are used to the hustle and bustle, who likes a deserted life?
It’s just that you have to endure it if you can’t help it!
Maybe if I endure it for a few more decades, it will be over!
In fact, Zhang Ming has a lot of things to do. For example, in the forging room, he is addicted to blacksmithing, which lasts all day long. The skills he learned from the Honggang people cannot be wasted.
Reviewing the knowledge he had learned before was just a review. Zhang Ming felt that he was not smart enough to create new knowledge, especially mathematics, which really made him want to stop...
Go for a swim in the sea, catch some fish and shrimps, cook some delicious food, and continue the dream of a big rice bucket restaurant.
Then, read the letters sent by friends and relatives and feel sad.
To be honest, no matter how much he entertains himself, this life is still too boring...
So boring!
Zhang Ming missed Li Xianfeng's broadcasts very much. He lost his source of information from the outside world and always felt like he was in jail every day.
Not even as good as a prisoner in a prison!
After all, the prisoners have friends to socialize with, and they can also watch TV to get information, and they can also say, "Everyone is talented and they speak well. I like it here very much!"
So on this day, Zhang Ming, who was in jail, said to himself with a dark face: "I really don't like it here!"
"There wasn't even a monster attack... Come on, give me a fucking monster and chop it up!"
Outside the room, Shimama's crazy yelling could be heard.
Why is this smelly stone so happy? Because... it is making wishes crazily! Why this stone is not scary is a question.
Zhang Ming sneaked out sneakily and hid behind a baffle to eavesdrop.
"Please tell me, how can I become Xuanwu? Please tell me the final truth, great Lady Calabash!"
The gourd is very happy, like a preaching priest: [Please wait... There are currently many different ways. The first is to find a powerful partner named 'Xuanwu'. You just need to find a way to make 'Xuanwu' treat you. Being completely determined is equivalent to becoming Xuanwu. 】
"Wonderful!" Shimama shouted.
[The second is that you daydream and become Xuanwu in your dreams. 】
[Third, your current power is incomplete. When you regain complete power, you may be able to possess one-tenth of the power of Xuanwu. 】
Calabash said strange words seriously, and Shimama rolled around on the ground. At first glance, this scene looked like a happy mental patient carnival in a mental hospital.
The Calabash Monster is currently the biggest entertainment product, although... Lao Zhang doesn't dare to play with it.
And the humble maid Shi Mama, who is fearless and fearless, seems to have gathered all the dark sides deep in Zhang Ming's heart, and will always make some weird and cunning wishes.
Then, he heard Shimama say again: "Can you act like Xuanwu's wife and talk to me? I make a wish, please! I want a Xuanwu wife!"
Xiaobai rolled down from the balcony. Has this ancestor become so perverted? It is so narcissistic, does it think that only it is worthy of itself?
The little gourd hesitated for a while, then floated up, slightly away from the crazy stone: [I'm sorry, I don't know what Xuanwu's wife is, and I don't want to do this. 】
Shimama was furious: "Then you pretend to be Zhang Ming's wife and talk to me."
Xiao Hulu said: [Okay, I will play the role of Mr. Zhang Ming's wife now and talk to you...]
The little gourd was silent.
Shimama: "Why don't you speak?"
Little gourd: [……]
Shimama: "Speak!"
Xiao Gourd said seriously: [Because Mr. Zhang Ming’s wife does not exist in the past, present, and future in three time and space, I can only play a non-existent thing, or play a small, unborn heart. fertilized egg. 】
[Fertilized eggs cannot speak, please forgive me. 】
The deck was filled with joyful air, and Shimama was shocked: "Wonderful!"
Xiaobai laughed so hard that tears flowed out.
Except for Lao Zhang who was eavesdropping behind the baffle, he was a little unhappy...
That gourd must have been transformed from [Long-cherished Wish]!
Why, why should I not have a wife in the future? !
In fact, he has a bit of Platonic tendency, that is, spiritual mysophobia.
When I was 18 years old, my requirements were very high, not only to be a woman, but also to be compatible on a spiritual level. Young people are always like this, thinking that love is the most precious diamond; when I was 28 years old, I was stranded on a desert island, and my requirements were very low. As long as it's a woman, it's fine. If there's any spiritual connection, that's bullshit!
38 years old has lower requirements, as long as it is a female, no human beings are required...
But if you are over 48, the requirements will skyrocket. Since you are already an old bachelor, why don’t you find a perfect one?
Have you never heard of an aunt in her forties or fifties who found true love with a Middle Eastern prince? At least she has to be a Middle Eastern princess to satisfy his boss, right?
Now that I am over 138, my requirements are as high as the sky. I have been single for so long and have experienced so many ups and downs. It is really difficult to be with a normal girl. I don’t even have a common language, so what is there to do?
Thinking about it this way, the description of the small gourd seems to be correct.
Zhang Ming couldn't help but sigh.
Shimama's metamorphosis continued, and the stinky stone became even happier: "Are you a boy or a girl? Hulu."
[I am incapable of reproduction and theoretically have no gender. If I have to, I tend to be female because I am non-aggressive and have a gentle, kind and friendly temperament. 】
Zhang Ming bared his teeth. Is this not aggressive? Your aggression is overflowing, okay?
"Hahaha, it said it was a girl!" Shimama was immediately overjoyed: "I make a wish that you will act as my loyal servant and speak like a maid."
The little gourd seemed to be teasing the stone deliberately, and said with a bottom line: "I'm sorry, I don't want to do this." 】
[Because your Xuanwu wife will definitely blame me. I cannot bear the torture of your Xuanwu wife. 】
"Then you play Zhang Ming's cat maid and talk to me."
[Okay, please wait...]
Calabash, let’s say Ms. Calabash, changed her tone into a very strange clipped tone: [Master’s friend, Mr. Shimama, you are here, would you like to drink a cup of coffee? Excuse me, what important thing do you have to visit my master? Meow meow meow~ He is building a saw there and wants to saw me open, meow meow meow! 】
[If you want to be sawed open, I can tell you, meow~ Let’s be sawed open together! Meow meow meow! 】
Zhang Ming was stunned and almost lost his teeth in shock.
Shimama was so angry, why don't you be my maid, just his maid!
Gourd said: [Because I have to stay by his side, wait for him to die, and complete the deal. This may take a long time, so it is necessary to have a good relationship with him. 】
[In addition, your appearance does not meet my aesthetic taste. Although he is a little small, he is delicate, cute, and a little fragile, which is in line with my aesthetic concept. 】
Shimama was furious. She was mocking her for looking ugly.
The wretch jumped up crazily, trying to hit the gourd, but the gourd dodged lightly.
There was a happy air again on the deck, Xiaobai started laughing wildly, and even Brother Hao was watching.
Bai Ze's eyeballs fell directly to the ground. This eternal good gentleman was really shocked, saying that he was a little behind the times... This era is too unrestrained.
What is the identity of this gourd? If it is really the incarnation of [Long-cherished Wish] or [Long-cherished Wish], that would be too... Bai Ze's heart was full of vigilance. [Long-cherished Wish] could never just send a talkative gourd over. Once he loses his vigilance, , maybe this is the day when its conspiracy will succeed!
Zhang Ming's thoughts were different from Bai Ze's. He was thinking secretly, what does it mean to be a little smaller?
This problem is serious!
So he coughed twice, got out from behind the baffle, and called Gourd over to ask this question.
[Well... it's just that you are a bit younger... I didn't mean to ridicule you, it's just that... ah... you are a bit younger. You are only over a hundred years old, so you are very young. 】Hulu swayed left and right as if he wanted to lie to cover up the past.
When it lies, it will pronounce modal particles such as "um, ah", which is easy to identify.
Therefore, "Ms. Calabash", who was surrounded by many mental patients, could only say in the end: [Okay, let me be honest, compared to the life forms in my realm, you are indeed a little smaller. 】
[Please don't mind, the rules are different, and the size of the individuals is naturally different. Just like when I traveled to this world, I was just a small gourd. So I don't mean to mock you. 】
(End of chapter)
