The gray-haired young man didn't know whether he was awakened by the pain or by the pain, but it was almost the same.
Half of his face was covered by gauze, including one eye, and there were countless injuries on his body.
My whole body hurts terribly...
But what really made Kawakami's hair stand on end was the feeling of something sticky sticking to his body. At least the handler helped him clean up most of the blood, but when treating the wound, they applied medicine and wrapped gauze on him for free.
Hmm, judging from the technique, it's still an old acquaintance. The doctor is quite generous... Kawakami is a bit like the doctor who has a poisonous mouth but a kind heart.
After waking up, the gray-haired young man became restless. He tried to get up from the hospital bed. The first thing he wanted to do was to remove the water hanging from his left hand.
But someone stopped him. Kawakamiji pretended that he just realized that there was someone around him.
. It was the gentleman, sitting in a wheelchair: "Don't move, Kashasha, the needle will be inserted again after it is pulled out."
"Sir..." he whispered.
"How does it feel?"
Kashasha actually couldn't answer, his brain throbbed and his sleepiness was still there. There were still images of chaotic scenes playing in front of his eyes. Hyperamnesia didn't care about his repulsive mentality, and he just put the things for dinner wherever he wanted.
"It's normal to feel overwhelmed, and I understand where you're coming from, Kashasha."
The gentleman stretched out his hand and tested the temperature on the gray-haired young man's forehead.
"What you really reject is not killing. Killing is human instinct. When faced with a real life-and-death crisis, you can be more cruel than anyone else... What you really reject is taking action."
Ah, the brainwashing has begun... Kawakami shook his head and tried to shake off the gentleman's hand, but failed. And it's quite cool... and just enough to cool down his racing brain.
He should have a low-grade fever.
The gentleman noticed his little movement, but did not care about it. He continued:
"If you were really repelled by killing, you would have refused at the beginning, but after careful analysis, what really makes you uncomfortable is actually the tasks that require close range. You did a good job at long-range sniping, and you didn't even have any adverse reactions."
Kawakamiji remained silent. He began to miss lemon candies... The hand on his forehead became less cold after a while. He actually hoped that Mr. Kawakami would put it down or change it.
"Therefore, your rejection of killing is only physical, not psychological. Physical rejection is easy to explain. It is human instinct. Things engraved in genes make us feel uncomfortable when taking the lives of the same kind - it varies from person to person. That's the case for the most part, and there are individuals who don't care or even enjoy it, and you're at the other extreme, where you're quite uncomfortable with it."
"Because of hyperamnesia, this is both a talent and a flaw..."
The gentleman's voice was full of confusion,
"Those images that would be forgotten and processed by normal people's brains can be remembered firmly, never forgotten, and even recalled repeatedly... Fighting for killing and empathizing with the pain of others are just human instinct's tricks of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages. Because I can't help but think about it, and at the same time I don't want the same thing to happen to me, so I try to avoid it.
"Essentially, this mentality is still self-interested, Kashasha. Think carefully and put aside this point, are you really suffering from the death of those people? Or do you feel that what you did does not conform to the concept of good and evil? Or do you think that , are you just controlled by this instinct of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages?"
It is quite unethical to ask an unlucky child who is suffering from a low-grade fever to think about philosophical issues. Kawakami was complaining about that gentleman in his heart, but with Kashasha's wrongful thinking... he really started to think about it seriously.
"But... is there a rationale for the existence of this instinct?" the gray-haired young man murmured.
The gentleman smiled: "This is the law of survival under the sun, but in your situation, giving up taking the initiative will lead to death. What you inherited from Kashasha is not only ability, but also debt... Kasha Shasha.”
"Morality is just a shackle, emotion is just a bargaining chip... People like us should not be bound by instinct. Or are you planning to betray yourself and kill yourself at the neck?"
"Green Gourd Sword Fairy"
Ah, the brainwashing has become even more outrageous, to the point of betraying oneself. This concept confusion is very smooth... Kawakamiji feels that he needs to learn the art of speaking like that gentleman.
"If you really want to think so, you can't help it, but your desire to live doesn't think so. To be honest, with your physical skills, it is impossible to survive from the stage. Rather than leaving the organization and dying at the hands of others, it is better to die directly In my hands. But your desire to survive proves that you have the instinct to kill and the bestiality."
Well...actually it's something like stimulants. The medicine that gentleman gave him could squeeze out his remaining physical strength at critical moments. The sparring partner was chosen to die from the beginning, in order for Kashasha to "succeed in resistance" for survival.
"So you are still lying to me?" Kashasha asked in a low voice.
"No, you can leave the organization if you want. My promise is always valid." The gentleman took steps to retreat, "But at least one year later, you really won't be able to survive long if you are released from the organization in your current state."
"But I won."
"How come you don't know how to win?" The gentleman said helplessly, "There is no point in narrowly winning."
"So you are still a liar."
"Kashasha——"
"fraud."
The gray-haired young man buried his face in the pillow, not sure if he was crying. From that gentleman's perspective, he could only see Kashasha's messy gray hair that was separated by bandages and stained with dried blood.
The gentleman sighed.
Although this is cute now, the gentleman has begun to miss Kashasha, who is cold, distant and thoughtful after working in the organization for more than a year.
No matter what Kashasha thinks in his heart, at least on the surface he will always be affectionate and affectionate.
He is actually not very good at coaxing children.
So the gentleman just reached out and rubbed Kashasha's head - carefully avoiding the swollen and damaged areas. He did not forget to stand up, open another bottle connected to the infusion tube, and mix the sleeping pill into the anti-inflammatory potion.
The gentleman steered the wheelchair away and turned off the light.
"Get some rest. And think about what I said, Kashasha. I will not harm you."
He knew that Kashasha would eventually figure it out, and even if he couldn't, there would still be a chance to start over, even if he was a little weak at the beginning. Kashasha, who has the same origin as Lin Xingji, is the same person as them at heart.
Although he has been training for so long, starting from today is the beginning of Kashasha's true return.
…………
Tsumugi Kawakami seriously considered whether he should cry, but it was too embarrassing, and he has never been good at crying scenes. If he couldn't hold back his laughter, he would be exposed.
So he just buried his head in the pillow and thought about it.
After hearing the distant sound of the wheelchair, he raised his head again and took a breath of fresh air. I don’t know if that gentleman had installed bugs or micro-camera or anything like that. He just sighed in his heart:
"I really want to eat lemon candies..."
