I have finally finished writing Volume 1. Taking advantage of the summary at the end of the volume, I would like to comment on the issues of this article:
(Involving spoilers, those who have not read the first volume and are concerned about this can avoid it)
Question 1: Pulling the crotch at the beginning of the chapter
Now it seems that the opening chapter of the book "Fake Drinks" is really a stretch. (Maybe it is the reason why I have improved.) The more I write, the more I feel that the beginning of the book is a stretch... But before this, I have never written anything more than It’s a 10,000-word novel, so it’s understandable.
The main reason is that the location of the copies of Yoko Fukaya and Yoshiki Chiaki is wrong. In the long term, there is no problem, but in the short term, it is easy to dilute the rhythm of the writing.
"The Romance of Fairy Wood"
Now, from the perspective of those who have experienced it, if you directly choose one of three partners in the whiskey group after joining the action group, and move the copy of Yoko Fukaya to the back, the number of people who abandon the book may be reduced by at least half.
Problem 2: The plot progresses slowly + goes off topic
It doesn’t matter if I go off-topic when writing a proposition composition. If I can still go off-topic when I write, I am very convinced of myself. Because there was no outline before, the progress of the plot was much slower than I thought... TM has been put on the shelves, and I may be the only one who only recycled the title after writing more than 100 chapters.
And the theme of "Fake Wine", I admit that I took it for granted. With the character of Tsumugi Kawakami... forget it, just let it happen.
The charm of lawful evil is that when he does bad things, he always seems to have a reason, but I still think it is a bit difficult for Kawakami to raise the average favorability of the red side to above friendly. At present, it seems that this product is more friendly to Scotland, and it can cheat bourbon and rye as much as possible.
I feel like this question is off-topic and can't be saved, so I'll try my best.
Question Three: Plot Design
The plot design is the biggest problem of this article. I personally feel that it is more serious than the crotch pulling at the beginning... When I was writing the article, many readers reported to me that the article was not interesting enough... In other words, the protagonist was a bit aggrieved.
The scarier thing is that I didn't realize this problem at first... The main reason is that when I wrote the article, I did not take on the role of the protagonist, but wrote it from a completely objective perspective, which caused cognitive dissonance between the author and the readers.
From an objective perspective, I can't really sympathize with Kawakami Tsumugi's fate. In fact, when you step into the role of the protagonist, Kawakami Tsumugi seems, seems, maybe, seems...a bit miserable. Although he doesn't feel it himself, the experience of being in the role is indeed not good...
I still need to study how to make the plot exciting, but I guess I may have to go through a lot of pitfalls to learn it. The main reason is that the tone of this article has been set...if it were to be changed later, it would probably be neither fish nor fowl.
Maybe the style of the third volume can be lighter and brighter? ?
Question 4: Character Perspective
Readers should feel that this piece of rubbish has been turned into a group portrait by me.
This is both an advantage and a disadvantage. Good group portrait writing is an advantage of the article, but poor writing will lead to confusion in perspective. At present, I feel that it is still a bit difficult for me to control multiple perspectives.
I felt the deepest when I was writing about the Scottish incident, because I had described and introduced a large number of people in the Japanese police department. Therefore, there is such a situation when Scotland is exposed.
I can't just expose Scotland with a snap and then follow the plot quickly. Instead, we must tell the whole story, otherwise a large number of people from the Japanese police department will be in vain, and the buried line between Ash and Japanese whiskey will be useless. .
It was really too painful for the author, and he felt bald just thinking about the plot.
Moreover, when there are too many characters, there will be redundancy. I personally feel that many characters are useless after they appear... During the Armagnac incident, I consciously practiced the description of group portraits, and then I found that the more I wrote, the less interesting it became. And decided to stop the loss in time.
In the future, we will try our best to add the POV perspectives of several important supporting characters to Kawakami Tsumugi, and do not give too many psychological descriptions to the NPC characters, or let him go away quickly after a psychological description.
Moreover, when there are too many characters, it is easy to steal the scene, and it seems that the protagonist Kawakami Tsumugi is not very impressive...sigh.
Question 5: Character creation of the protagonist
I personally am very satisfied with my portrayal of Kawakami Tsumugi, but I have to admit that Kawakami Tsumugi's positioning is actually very embarrassing.
First of all, as the protagonist, he is not strong enough. It's not that my ability is not strong enough but that my performance is not strong enough, that is, I am always in a state of being suppressed... This is the pot I set. Memory cleaning + no organizational power means I can't even think about it...
Secondly, about the issue of real wine and fake wine. What makes me feel more amazing is that some book friends think Kawakami Tsumugi is real wine, fake real wine, or mixed with water... Of course, most of them agree that it is real wine...
In fact, Kawakami Tsumugi's character itself is arrogant, hypocritical, gentle and good at self-deception, which makes it difficult for him to be simply characterized. This will lead to dissatisfaction on both sides...
Readers who want to see the kind of pure wine that kills red characters will find that this product treats non-interest-related red characters well; readers who want to see the kind of watered wine that is friendly to the red will find that this product is also good for the red. A real killer...
To be honest, after the Armagnac incident, I obviously felt that the order was on the decline, but according to Kawakami Tsumugi's character, he would indeed kill Ethan Hondo at that time...
Cat sighs.jpg
Question 6: Writing style
Personally, I feel that the writing is up to par, but I don’t think the writing style is light and lively enough. To be honest, I envy the light and bright writing style. I always feel that what I write is a bit "heavy".
In fact, at the beginning of the article, I consciously wanted the writing style to be more relaxed...but the further I wrote, the more I let myself go. . Of course, it is impossible for me to completely give up my style just because I change my writing style, but I will try to improve in the direction I want in the future.
All in all, the data of this article are actually very bleak, and it is only a little better than simply generating electricity for love... But if I am not writing at home during the summer vacation, I will also do other things, and it is impossible to do anything serious anyway. So I think writing is still a good choice.
And I am actually very grateful to the editor for being able to write this.
To be honest, I wrote it for fun at the beginning. I just thought of a book title and rushed over it without an outline... In my imagination, maybe I could write 30,000 to 40,000 words before my enthusiasm subsided. The pigeon falls...
The problem is that I ran out of time when I wrote almost 20,000 words (laughs).
Thank you to the editor for catching me.
I was immediately inspired, and at least I had taken the first step towards becoming a platinum master... I felt it would be irresponsible to give up. After I wrote it and put it on the shelf, I felt that I couldn’t give up... so I insisted on finishing the first volume. And become a glorious street fighter.
But I still feel sorry for Tsumugi Kawakami. This book has many faults, and I am just trying to make fun of him. Personally, I feel that if I had experience writing other books before writing this book, I would have done better than I did now, but I can’t say for sure.
That’s enough nonsense. I really want to thank all the readers, little angels, for your company.
Love you (??ω??)??
ps: I haven’t typed out the outline of the second volume yet, so I’ve given up. . I plan to take it one step at a time. . Based on the experience outline of the first volume, it is very likely that you will have it halfway through.
