Hello everyone, this is Panda and also the Endless Traveler.
I have stopped updating for more than half a month, and I have never officially told you the reasons and process. I will briefly talk about it here. At the same time, I would like to thank everyone who is still here for their support and trust in me~
In fact, it is just like the meaning of Chen An's third game "Happy Town" - "False happiness and real cruelty". These nine simple words are so heavy.
Words are difficult to express many things...but many things can only be understood by truly experiencing them.
In the first half of April, for two weeks, I was almost completely sleepless. Except for daily eating, sleeping, and toilet, I put aside everything and completely immersed myself in the topic of "how to write." .
During the two weeks, I continued to learn, research, and summarize. Based on the experience of this book of 560,000 words, I hope to make up for my mistakes, write better stories, and express the "art" I want to express more. In these two weeks I wrote nearly 200,000 words of scrap manuscripts. The good news is that every time a "scrap manuscript" appeared, I could find my own problems and make corrections. I wrote nearly thirty chapters and made six outlines. More than a dozen story lines, a dozen new ideas and attempts.
Writing a manuscript, submitting it, being rejected,
Write the manuscript, submit the manuscript, pass the manuscript, and then find that you can’t write later.
Revise the manuscript, write the manuscript, and get rejected,
Find problems, fix them, find problems, fix them,
Constantly adjust your own cognition and structure, and continue to research and learn.
I almost worked up all the energy and fought tooth and nail not to admit defeat. I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and I had to do it.
After I reached a certain level of improvement, after two weeks of almost hell mode practice.
I gained the ability to basically see the flaws in my articles and the beginning, and I gained a better understanding and mastery of the so-called "Internet writing".
But the bad news is, to my despair.
I also discovered how useless I am.
I can not do it.
I can't write.
I'm a waste.
It's the kind of thing... you want to go up the mountain, and you try your best to walk on the way up the mountain, gritting your teeth and puffing up your breath despite the confusion of the unknown road ahead, and gritting your teeth in spite of the wind, rain and the soreness of your legs. I climbed to the top of the mountain with my teeth, and then I discovered...it turns out that going up further,
Need to fly.
but me,
No wings.
At that moment, I wanted to cry, but in the end the corners of my mouth turned up, revealing a smile that was uglier than crying.
I tried many styles that I thought were rich in connotation and art, but I got the answer of "I can't understand." Indeed, the most basic thing about online writing is that it should be easy to understand, and other arts and connotations are based on this foundation and On the basis of interesting plot, it is given sublimation.
I can write a beginning that can lead to a contract, but after the beginning, I don’t know how to start writing. I really can’t let myself write a mindless article. Because I don’t like it, I can’t do it. I can’t write it and I don’t want to write it. The two points are of equal proportion.
But this is not in line with the market.
Articles that are in line with the market and have the style, "art" and connotation that I like...
It requires higher writing requirements and plot structure support.
but me,
Can't do it.
This makes me despair.
It's the kind of despair that comes after you discover how useless you are and can't change it. It's the kind of despair that can no longer be solved by hard work.
And this terrifies me.
I didn’t dare to write anymore. I couldn’t write anymore. I had a fear of writing because no matter how I wrote, I couldn’t write it right.
Although there is no "right answer" to this, I find that I am always "wrong".
Looking back at this book, "Gui Xi" is the first book in my writing career. It is also a book of great significance to my writing growth. It is also the book that gave me you lovely book friends who have always supported me. This book...
In the comment area, on Qidian, QQ, and Baidu, I saw many voices of support, praise, and those that moved me... There were also many belittling, insulting, and pointing out various problems.
These all make me feel...
Mood swings.
This is my first real book, and it has to be my practice work. All I can do is try my best at every stage.
There was a slight confusion in the early stage, not knowing the rhythm and acting haphazardly in subsequent situations, various problems caused by insufficient thinking, and the unfamiliarity caused by trying such a style and story for the first time in the third volume, and the situation of piling up settings all the time. , these are all problems I need to solve, but I really can't do it well the first time. It's also my first time trying...
The performance of this book is very poor. When it was put on the shelf and before the update was discontinued, the average subscription was less than 140, and the new chapter subscription was about 50.
From a commercial perspective and a performance perspective, this is a book that has no reason to be written, and it is also the fundamental reason why countless authors have become eunuchs.
Coupled with my desperate state at the time, I simply couldn't write it down.
On the other hand, during the four months of writing this book, I have been thinking and typing with high intensity. I was thinking about the plot while eating and sleeping. In February and March, it was common for me to update tens of thousands of pages a day. I have been relying on the breath in my heart to hold on, but after it was put on the shelves, I felt that daily updates turned into tasks. When a hobby turned into a job, the interest turned into a task that must be completed. This thing itself It just changed.
As a result, I began to feel that this was a "burden" and an "annoyance", and this also made me lose my original intention.
After a hobby becomes something that may bring profits, it is inevitable that things will change. Compared with other professional things, personal things like writing are more obvious.
But, this shouldn't be like this, there should be other ways.
At the same time, I also started to think about why this was and what went wrong.
And because of the reasons mentioned above, this book has been temporarily suspended since mid-April, and I need to adjust.
On the other hand, it was also the BJ epidemic, and some real things hit me on the head, and so on.
Over the past half month, the passion and despair of the past have gradually been smoothed away over time. I have also discovered many problems and gained a lot in my intermittent attempts.
In other words, the influence caused by Xiaolong and Squid's books has been eliminated, and I have begun to walk on a path of gradually exploring and perfecting my own style.
I don’t know what my abilities are now, I can only do my best.
But at least my mentality has been adjusted and I have regained my original intention.
Therefore, between starting a new book and continuing to write this book, I decided to continue writing this book, even though there is no profit.
But that’s not the original purpose, right?
This time, it’s not for profit or work, just to complete this journey.
Just because you are here, just because there are many people who like and support this book.
so,
I'm back.
This time, I will get rid of many restrictions, such as blocking the so-called pure rule-based dungeons, and many, many things, well, but those who can see this must be a very small number of people, who cannot see it for various reasons. Those who go down can't see here either.
So I figured out, since everyone likes it, why don't I do it in a way that I also like.
Isn't the original intention of writing a book just for you to like it, because you like it?
I will definitely not be able to make everyone accept it, even the great gods cannot do it. Therefore, what I have to do is really just calm down, make steady progress, think, and complete my own path.
Well, although the road ahead is unclear, I don’t know how far I can go.
But, here,
invite you,
with me,
Hit the road.
We, the story continues.
