When Danzi came out again, he had an extra towel in his hand. He handed it to me and wiped his eyes. After wiping his eyes well, he stood at the vent in the courtyard and blew on his eyes. He was finally able to open his eyes and could see clearly. Saw something. I quickly glanced around the yard. I wanted to see who the hell was plotting against me behind my back. Through the weak light of the ever-burning lamp, I saw a dark figure, holding an incense burner in one hand, and taking out ashes from the incense burner and spreading them on the ground with the other hand.
By this time, the sky was getting slightly brighter, and my father, mother, and Danzi were all standing outside the mourning hall, a little at a loss. After the ashes of the incense burner were scattered, the figure who scattered the ashes stood in front of Uncle Changge's spiritual tablet, mumbling something! Then, he took out the copper bell pinned to his waist and shook it for a few times, then moved a wooden chair, put it aside, and began to relax. Seeing him look like an uncle, I was so angry that I made up my mind to deal with him.
I just picked up a brick from the ground and was about to walk over and pat him, but my father pushed me back and said, "You bastard, what are you doing with the brick? I don't know, this is a famous person from all over the country." He's a heavenly master! He can both catch ghosts and deliver salvation. Leave me alone." After saying that, he walked up a few steps and replaced the light bulb in his hand. The mourning hall was brightly illuminated again.
It was really bright now, and through the light I could see the color of my outfit, which was a complete black and white outfit. Look at my body, it’s called beautiful. I’m covered in incense ash mixed with the soil stained by falling on the ground. It’s black and white, and I’m an Oreo that’s black on the outside and white on the inside. It’s so funny that I can’t even laugh or cry... …
I didn't notice that my wrist was also scratched with a long cut, and blood was still oozing out. I looked like a defeated soldier. My body was so dirty, let alone my face, it probably wouldn't be much better. . Now I am in such a miserable state, like a rag doll in the mud, which is really infuriating. Looking at the person who made me look like this, I found that the person was wearing plain clothes, holding a cigarette, smoking leisurely like an uncle. The ash stove was under his feet, but it was just white ash. It's all poured out, and now it's just an empty container.
Danzi, a young man, even handed him a cup of tea respectfully and said respectfully: "Living God, you invite me to drink tea." They brought all the tea to him, but the man who looked like an uncle just held the tea. I took a sip, moistened my throat, rinsed it, spit it out in one gulp, and then continued to swim leisurely with my legs crossed and my back to me.
I thought to myself: "What a decent little bastard you are. I served you tea so kindly that you didn't want to drink it. You even used it as mouthwash to spit it out. If you did, just spit it out. You even leaned on a stool and swayed with your legs crossed." I'm wandering around, who am I looking down on!" Looking at his extremely arrogant look, I guess he was the one who made me look like this. The unknown fire in my heart grew stronger and stronger, so I walked forward and prepared to ask for an explanation. , I don’t care whether you are a living god or a god-like one, you have to apologize to me.
Danzi who was standing aside saw me walking forward angrily, and instinctively wanted to stop me, but he didn't. When he tried to pull me back again, I was already standing next to the man in plain clothes. Behind me. I patted him hard three times on the shoulder and said in a sultry voice: "Who are you, idiot? Why are you so arrogant? I tell you that this is my territory. You are a melon from a foreign country. Do you know the rules?" No?"
Who knew that that bastard didn't take me seriously at all, he just used his right hand to push my palm away, and then said dismissively: "Isn't he just a useless silly boy? Take your Take your dirty hands away, don’t you know they are dirty?”
"You bastard, you dare to say that my hands are dirty. It's not you who made me so dirty. It's not your fault that you made me covered in dust and dirt! Great, congratulations on your success. The uncle is angry, look at me smashing you." Furious, I had already put my fists into my fists and was ready to hit him hard. I waved my fists high and was ready to hit him, but I couldn't. Danzi quickly stopped him, "Zhang Ruoxu, don't leave. This is Yang Banxian who was invited from afar. I can't afford to offend him, let alone beat him!"
"What Yang Banxian?" I am too sensitive to the words Yang Banxian. After all, Yang Banxian is a Taoist master who gave me the longevity lock. But even if he is still alive, he must be over a hundred years old, and his voice is so tender? Movement so brisk? Is it possible that this Yang Banxian really has magical powers and can rejuvenate his youth? If this is the case, then I have to pay homage to this living god.
Just when I was puzzled, that bastard finally slowly turned his head around, looked into my eyes, not surprised at all but with a playful and foolish smile, and said hello: "Hey, long time no see." La!"
"Hey, what, I don't know you, it's been a long time..." Before I could finish my words, I was stunned. What he said was really right. I really knew him, and I hadn't seen him for a few days. , but he is so young and is also called "Yang Banxian"? We know each other, but I still want to beat this little bitch, who made my clean body so dirty.
Because the person sitting on the stool with his legs crossed and chatting with me non-stop was none other than the gentle idiot who took the green leather car with me two days ago. Now, I am even more puzzled. A few days ago, he was still an intellectual who was looking at advanced mathematics on the train while wearing deep myopia glasses, but now he has become a Taoist master? Isn’t this a mixture of materialism and idealism? Why are there such weird things, strange people, gentle idiots, and now they are like Taoist masters!
"It's you, how...how could it be you? You're not that..." I was so surprised that I couldn't imagine how many guest roles this person could play. Could he be a charlatan pretending to know Taoism? ?
"What are you, you, how come you don't bow quickly when you see this great immortal, and are you still angry because I made you dirty? Oh, you kid is not sensible, I saved you, don't you know. The Huihun Night Liver is You can't stand between the ever-burning lantern and the coffin. You will block the way of the evil brother and the deceased, which is very unlucky. At the least, it will make you so bad that you can accomplish nothing. At the worst, you will be unlucky and encounter accidents everywhere. Moreover, Let me tell you, feeding you ashes is to save your internal organs, otherwise, you would have become a popsicle."
When he said that, it was really true. Now my body is no longer so cold, but I just can't stand his arrogant look and dragging words. His energy makes me really want to give him a slap in the face. .
The mysterious man insisted that this boy is my noble man and can develop my Yin and Yang eyes. However, I have never seen such a mean and disgusting noble person. However, after thinking about it, is this man who can open my third eye really looking for me? However, I don’t think it looks like it at all. The person who can open my third eye, even if he is not a Daluo Jinxian, should be a master-level master with profound knowledge. This guy is so young and still a nerd. What do you think? None of them seem to have magic power. To be honest, I think he is weaker than me. How could he be a master? Could it be that the mysterious man made a mistake?
"You brat, don't be arrogant! A few days ago, I saw you on the train, and your grandson suddenly disappeared. I was knocked unconscious, and I couldn't find you when I woke up. Why are you a dragon? Appeared in our village without any trace? Who are you?" I asked him loudly, because it all happened so suddenly and unacceptable.
"Because, scientific reasons, besides, I have nothing to do with you here. Besides, I was hired with a high salary. Do you understand? You little Karami!" This arrogant guy is not worried. He answered me slowly and arrogantly, and after speaking, he spit out a big mouthful of phlegm. I was completely looked down upon by him. I have seen arrogant people, but I have never seen him so arrogant. Before, the revenge on the train had not been avenged, so it was time to settle the old and new scores together.
I was angry for a moment, so I stepped forward, grabbed his collar, and lifted him up. I wasn't going to let him go. Even if he was really a noble person who opened my eyes, I still had this bad breath to let him know. , Lord Ma has three eyes. Now I need to ask you clearly, who gave you such arrogant capital, are you not afraid of being beaten?
"Oh no, you are so arrogant. You said that you have nothing to do with me. You also said that I am little Karami. Have you gone out to brush your teeth? You still fooled me. I won't beat you today. If your mother doesn’t even know you, it’s not over.” Who would have thought that before I could slap him, Danzi rushed over and locked me tightly, yelling at me: “Zhang Ruoxu, are you crazy? , this man cannot be beaten, this is the Taoist invited from Li Cun City, the real Yang Banxian, it is up to him to clear the way for Uncle Changge tomorrow! How can you do this to others? "
I was stunned when I heard this. At first, I thought he was a little bastard who came here to cause trouble. I never thought he was really a Taoist.
"Danzi, don't you dare to joke like this. He is a liar and cannot be a Taoist priest. Otherwise, why doesn't he even have a Taoist robe? When I came back by train two days ago, I was in the same carriage with him. He took this grandson with him. A pair of myopia glasses, he is polite, and he is still looking at high numbers! He is not a Taoist priest, he is a liar, I say, you must not be deceived by him."
As soon as I said the words, I was retorted by someone. The gentle idiot broke away from my hand, took out his own myopia glasses from his pocket and put them on, just like him on the train. Then, he started to show off again. The gentle idiot laughed, put his arms behind his back, walked slowly and said: "Your yin and yang eyes have been blinded in vain. Who said you can't learn mathematics? I'm a double master of Taoism and Shu." Bullshit. Which national law stipulates that you can’t study mathematics, or that... a doctor can’t be a Taoist priest? Let me tell you, I am still a doctoral candidate at Peking University! Who are you, a piece of trash, visual inspection complete."
I was completely speechless and didn’t know how to reply. There is indeed no legal provision that Taoist priests cannot study mathematics and PhDs cannot be Taoist priests. However, this is weird. This idiot learns both materialism and idealism. Which one does he believe in? If everyone believed it, wouldn't he have a split personality? When he was not embarrassed, I was the one who was embarrassed. He sat down arrogantly, crossed his legs, and said: "Hey, you little brat, don't be arrogant. Come on, give me a cup of hot tea!"
When the tea came into his hand, he sipped it one mouthful at a time, squinting at me with his eyes, his expression and eyes were very provocative and teasing. I thought to myself, if you mess with me, I will have to earn back the face I lost. Just wait.
Just like that, I, a dirt boy, stood beside the gentle idiot with full anger, wishing I could tear this arrogant boy to pieces with my hands, but he ignored me and said provocatively: "Ah, what a good tea." , I knew I would not come in vain, unlike some people who are angry and anxious, but have no choice but to do anything. Oh, it is so sad!"
The sensitive Danzi was afraid that I would have another attack, so he quickly moved forward, stood in front of me, and introduced me: "Zhang Ruoxu, no matter whether you have known each other before or not, or what kind of misunderstandings there are, you are not allowed to make trouble today! This is Master Yang Tian from the Tianlong Dao Hall in Longquan Mountain ten miles away. His Taoist name is Baitang. He has a certain connection with Yang Banxian who gave you the Long Life Lock! You can tell fortunes and divination! You can't usually find it. The heavenly master who finally spent a lot of money to invite was only because Uncle Changge asked for a longevity lock that they were willing to move to our village to hold Uncle Changge’s funeral. Don’t be stupid, kid.”
He has a relationship with Yang Banxian, and he is also an accurate fortune teller. Damn, it is better to say that he is good at advanced mathematics and can predict probabilities. The most ridiculous thing is that he also has a nickname. His nickname is Baitang. I think it’s more appropriate to call him idiot! However, I always feel that it is nonsense. The gentle idiot is actually the real person, or is he a doctor? Hmm, if you ask me, he is either a genius or a madman. However, I have seen what he is capable of, and he does have two skills. It makes sense to say that he is a Taoist priest.
Thinking about it this way, I feel that this gentle idiot can handle it. I guess he will start to show off next time. Unexpectedly, I was wrong again. It seemed that I was never right from beginning to end. I kept making mistakes again and again.
The gentle idiot smiled at Danzi, pulled back his smile and said: "Brother Dan, look at you, what are you so proud of? You make me look so amazing that the Taoist priest can hardly afford to eat. Otherwise, I Why are you looking for another job, right? These days, there are fewer people who believe in gods and ghosts, and I am about to lose my job as a Taoist priest. Moreover, my plan is to finish this job for Uncle Changge and never take any more jobs in the future. Alive...So, you should call me Yang Xian by my real name!"
"Besides, I don't like the Taoist name Baitang very much. I'm just sending Uncle Changge off on his last journey. This happens to be a part-time job. Indeed, it's quite expensive for me to study for graduate school. It's rare that you think highly of me and are so willing to do so. Give me the money. If I don’t come again, that’s a bit unjust, right? We are our own people, if someone else... we have to pay more.”
After listening to the words of the gentle idiot, I understood. He still has principles. At least he can recognize the reality. Nowadays, if idealism cannot make a living, he must be more materialistic. Another point is that he cannot escape from the social law, that is, he must be rich. His sentence about "adding money" is almost like the "adding money" layman Ding Xiu in "Xiu Chun Dao", except that this layman is named Yang Xian.
Since this gentle idiot is more materialistic, it is easy to understand that he studied so hard on the train, but he is also a top student at the highest university in the country, which I did not expect! However, today's society is very complicated, and it is true that he works hard. What's annoying is why this grandson is so polite to others, but he is either sarcastic or mocking towards me, and sometimes he looks cold and stern. Is it really that difficult to give me a good look?
And Danzi also had a flattering expression. He didn't know what had betrayed his soul. He smiled and said to him: "Okay, okay, you're welcome. We are our own people. Come, let me introduce you formally." , this is Zhang Ruoxu, we are about the same age, so there is no seniority. Logically speaking, he should be called my uncle, but he is neither older nor younger."
It’s over, Danzi betrayed me, and now my face is even lower...
The gentle idiot didn't show off this time, and said to Danzi with a smile: "No introduction is needed, I have known him for a long time. We met on the train two days ago. He is a bit stupid!" Then, he went too far! , showing his two neat rows of big teeth, and said coquettishly: "Is your head feeling better? Also, do you have enough money?"
What a disgrace, you deliberately exposed my shortcomings in front of my parents and my egg, because you think I haven't lost enough face, so just wait for me. I pretended not to hear and looked away, deliberately not looking at him.
Seeing that there was nothing going on between me and the gentle idiot, Danzi stopped saying anything to me. He called the whole family over, gathered them together, and asked the gentle idiot: "Yang Xian, what happened just now?" ? What are you doing spreading ashes everywhere? Is there something special about this? Did Zhang Ruoxu encounter some evil spirit? "
The gentle man rolled his eyes at me, gave me a fake smile, and said: "It was indeed a bit dangerous just now, but it's okay now. Because just now, the messenger from the underworld brought the old man home, and Zhang Ruoxu was standing in the wrong position."
These words made my heart tremble. It was not much different from what I expected. Uncle Changge was back. However, I was in the way. I was picked up like a chicken by the local errand boy. gone.
The boy named Yang really didn't lie to me about this. When I was learning Taoism from my master, my master told me more than once. The ghosts in the underworld can't afford to offend them. They are all petty, especially Renba, Guijiu, and Xin Qi. To put it bluntly, these ghosts are worse than the officials in the world, and they dare to accept bribes from anyone. In the past, I listened to my master and was really polite and respectful to those who were doing errands in the underworld. However, since the mother-in-law coffin incident, my attitude has changed. It turns out that they are all tigers made of paper, with big airs but little ability!
At this time, I looked at the gentle idiot again. Although this kid was dumbfounded, he still knew something about yin and yang metaphysics. Since that mysterious man said he could develop my yin and yang eyes, it shouldn't be wrong. Forget it, I'll finish the matter as soon as possible and return to my original life line as soon as possible.
In fact, I am also a bit petty, thinking that as the head of the Jidao Tianshi Pavilion, I will educate him well. In this life line, I am a pathetic doormat. In my own life line, I am a master of Taoism. Let’s see if I can kill you, melon skin.
For now, I'd better bear it, because I have to wait to develop my eyes while I have to deal with the remaining five Warring States warriors and enemy demons!
The gentle idiot pretended to talk about the taboo of soul rebirth again: "Zhang Ruoxu's standing position and time are wrong. Let's talk about the position first. He happened to be blocking the front of the coffin, and he was still on the road between the evergreen lamp and the coffin. This will naturally block the souls of the deceased from returning to their proper place.”
After saying that, he pointed at me with the index finger of his right hand. I was stunned for a moment, what happened to me? The gentle idiot started beeping again: "It's because of you that you are blocking the road. Don't you know? The function of the everlasting lamp is to illuminate the deceased. You are blocking the front, which is equivalent to blocking people's sight. , do you know what there is to say? The dead must have a bright light to guide them home. The biggest fear is that someone blocks the light, and you not only block the light, but also play with the light. Even the ghosts can't stand it anymore, thinking you are doing it on purpose. Go against them and prevent them from intersecting, so they will be picked up by ghosts to eat the yin energy."
"The risk of doing this is very high. If the pointing light is gone, then the deceased will not be able to see his body and find his home. In that case, there is a high probability that he will become a lonely soul without an owner. So scattering ashes on the ground is, firstly, to let the dead see the white road, and secondly, it can dissipate Zhang Ruoxu's yin energy and avoid freezing to death."
I understood in my heart that the sentimental fool who threw lime was intentional. What seemed like a malicious act of spreading ashes turned out to be an approach that killed two birds with one stone. One was to pave the way for the deceased, and the other was to disperse the negative energy for me.
The gentle idiot continued: "I spread incense ash. Everyone knows that lighting incense is a deliberate move for the deceased to eat incense and be worshipped. But they ignored the role of incense ash. It can also remind the deceased to reach bliss early and be the deceased. When the soul steps on it, it will not collapse, but will bulge. That is because the body of ghosts resists gravity. Therefore, this is the reason why all non-human ghosts are floating when you see them. Ghosts have another name, and that is A Piao. .”
Although his words were a bit far-fetched and obscure, they still sounded somewhat reasonable. If it was really because I blocked the road that Uncle Changge's soul could not see the way to the afterlife, then it would be a huge sin. What I didn’t expect was that ghosts were not only unaffected by gravity, but were even repulsed. I finally understood why ghosts and the like couldn’t walk on the ground! Now, this polite idiot like Luo Liba is no longer so annoying, and he is even a little bit cute.
The gentle idiot added: "Everyone, come closer, there will be a funeral soon. There is actually an explanation for the death of Mr. Changge. To be honest, he died as a substitute. In other words, in fact, his life span was not long. Yes, but why did you die? Please forgive me for not being able to tell you, because the secret of heaven cannot be leaked. Next, please listen to my layout and arrangement. Please be sure to listen carefully and make no mistakes in one step, otherwise, the deceased will not be able to pass away."
The rest of what was said were all meaningless chatter, about who would carry the coffin, who should carry the coffin, who should be in front and behind, left foot first or right foot first, etc. They only talked about carrying the coffin for five minutes. Then, it’s about who will wear the soul flag, who will hold the soul tablet, etc...
In short, a lot of verbose words made everyone's head spin. I really don't know where scholars come from so much care. Why don't they just have a funeral? Are there so many taboos? I have also done funeral arrangements with my master. Although there are taboos, once the key steps are done, there will be no other problems.
By the time I finished listening to his ramblings, more than an hour had passed and it was already dawn. I just came back to my senses and remembered an important sentence, something Danzi said unintentionally. I don't remember those words clearly, but they probably meant that the former Yang Banxian was the old and scumbag Taoist priest, and was related to the gentle idiot Yang Xian.
Since the gentle idiot has the identity of a Taoist priest, then the old Taoist priest should be his master or uncle, so he should know about the longevity lock, right? Even if you don’t know, you can definitely give me some pointers. Uncle Changge once asked the old Yang Banxian for a longevity lock in order to save his baby. Is it possible that this gentle idiot would have something to do with the longevity lock?
Thinking of this complicated relationship, my heart felt like a cat scratching its paws, it was strangely itchy. When Uncle Changge left, there were no clues about the longevity lock except a number '24'. Who would have known that there would be no way out, and there would be a bright future in another village. Unexpectedly, the uncle would give me a gift before he left. This little Yang Banxian must be an insider and can't escape!
But I don't have much certainty, mainly because these things are all my assumptions and guesses. After all, I don't know what kind of relationship the old Yang Banxian has with this little Yang Banxian. Perhaps, the relationship between Old Yang Banxian and Xiao Yang Banxian is not as close as imagined, so it is not certain that Xiao Yang Banxian knows the news about the longevity lock...
Besides, this gentle idiot named Yang Xian should be about the same age as me. When my family asked me for a longevity lock, he must not have remembered anything! Then how did he know about the longevity lock? Even if he knew it, he probably wouldn't remember it. The only thing that makes me sure is that he knows that my eyes have special abilities, or that my eyes are useful to him. Could it be...
I was completely confused. Although there were many clues, I couldn't figure out a single clue. Shuanzi lost her longevity lock and died. The body of a woman wearing a longevity lock was dug up in Huiying Hotel. Now Uncle Changge has also left with the secret of the longevity lock. Can I still unlock the longevity lock? The secret behind it?
Forget it, instead of worrying and imagining here in a hurry, it is better to wait until there is no one around, and then go to the gentle idiot and ask him for details. If he knows about the longevity lock, that would be the best. Even if he doesn’t know, I’m so happy to die!
The gentle man kept saying that he was just an amateur Taoist priest, but judging from the day he told the female thief about the ghost husband on the train, and the arrangements for the funeral today. He, a Taoist priest who is a high-level intellectual, is more professional than a full-time Taoist priest. At least he is not a charlatan who can only talk but cannot do anything. Now, what we have to do is Uncle Changge’s idle work.
At around six o'clock in the morning, helpers from all walks of life, people who paid money to work, and all the neighbors in the village arrived one after another. Everyone had a simple breakfast, a little bit of family and friends, and everyone wore their clothes. Touma puts on filial piety. The time is up, let’s go!
Everyone was all dressed up, and according to the work arranged by the gentle idiot in advance, they started moving according to their duties. My father took the lead and carried the coffin with another strong man in front. My mother was responsible for blowing the flags and crying at the funeral. I took the place of the filial son and grandson and hugged the portrait of Uncle Changge. Finally, it was Danzi who held the spiritual tablet in both hands and walked away. in front of me.
The gentle idiot jumped up and down, like a master of dancing. If I hadn't seen his skills, I would have thought like everyone else that this was a feudal and superstitious thing. Along the way, he made random gestures with his mahogany sword, sometimes scattering paper money, and sometimes shaking copper bells. Along the way, he read funeral scriptures: "The sky is round and the earth is square, the Eight Diagrams Yin and Yang are balanced; the three souls and seven souls of the people are revealed, and the souls are sent away." Return to the southwest. Metal, wood, water, fire and earth. In the middle of the southeast, northwest, people walk on the Taiping Road, and ghosts cross the Naihe Bridge. Paper money is scattered, and spiritual talismans will be sent. Please invite the Eight Immortals to send you good fortune."
"This gentle idiot is really interesting. He can even invite eight immortals from heaven. I want to see what magical powers each of them shows." After I said this in my heart, the gentle idiot started, "As soon as I invite the Immortal Iron Guaili Li Tijian, second invitation to the immortal Han Zhongli Xinkai, third invitation to the immortal Zhang Guolao and longevity, fourth invitation to the immortal Lu Dongbin male handsome, fifth invitation to the immortal He Xiannu Shu, sixth invitation to the immortal Lan Caihe Xinqiao, seventh invitation The Supreme Immortal Han Xiangzi Guangzhi and the Eight Immortals Cao Guojiu are rich..."
His words sounded quite similar, but the local accent was too thick and heavy, so I couldn't hear him very clearly. However, the journey was really smooth. Even when we passed the graveyard, we didn't see anyone sneaking around. Maybe we all knew the gentle idiots and took the initiative to avoid them. They really didn't show any respect and no one came out. Did they know that there was a young me in the room?
Soon, we arrived at the Feng Shui treasure spot that the gentle idiot had predicted in advance. Everyone cooperated very well and looked presentable. Not only were every process taken care of, but there were no mistakes. After arriving at the place, Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone was sweating on the road just now.
In fact, Uncle Changge’s cemetery was selected before. It is on a hillside behind our village, not far from the centralized burial cemetery. Originally, I wanted to bury him next to his father's graveyard, but after looking at it, the gentle man said that the land was not good, it was a shady place, and would not prosper future generations, so he looked at a new plot of land for burial. At the same time, he also told us a time for us to move the grave of Uncle Changge’s father to the place designated by him and rebury it.
I don't understand the details of this Feng Shui. I just think it would be better for the two of them to be buried together. At least they have someone to talk to down there. At this point, I recalled the scene in the county hospital again, but now I have no intention of crying, because I have looked away and have finished venting my emotions.
Thinking back again, the night before Uncle Changge's death, his father's soul was waiting patiently by his hospital bed for his son to die before taking him away... I started making random guesses again. In this chaotic world In a world filled with areas of souls, can people live naturally? Or is it that everyone has already adapted to living with ghosts?
The burial pit had been dug. Seven or eight strong men pulled nylon ropes as thick as their forearms and slowly lowered the coffin and pulled it out. Then they filled it with soil. In a short time, the tomb was filled. Burial is the last step of the funeral, which means that all the rituals are completed, and the time is exactly noon.
According to the rules and customs of the hometown, at this time, the relatives and friends who are organizing the funeral of the deceased will gather the guests and helpers together again and arrange a lunch, firstly to express their gratitude for the help and condolences, and secondly to get rid of the bad luck. Chinese people have a taboo. They always think that touching things of the dead is bad luck, so there is also a saying of removing bad luck.
But having said that, this meal that goes against bad luck is actually the most worthwhile meal. Why do you say that? Because this meal is sumptuous enough. It cannot be said to be more grand than a wedding banquet. It also has eight courses and ten plates. If the meal after the funeral is held in a crowded place, you will have to eat on the flowing water mat. The villagers and the helpers will take turns to eat. After one group of people eat, the next group will be replaced. This is the flowing water mat. , in the final analysis, there is still not enough space, not enough tables, not enough plates, dishes and chopsticks.
It was more than 20 years ago that a small, backward village like ours had a prosperous population. Therefore, even though it was just a few of us organizing Uncle Changge’s funeral, there were enough people to pay for it without any help at all. Edge up. I thought that my father had arranged for the cook, and then we would start working as waiters together. Unexpectedly, my father, who always spends less and puts more effort into it, changed his past habit of frugality and arranged this meal at a restaurant in the next village. There were no more than ten tables. It saved us both worry and effort. With this money Well! The painting makes my liver hurt a bit.
Anyway, everyone is here and the main dishes are in place, so we can start eating and drinking. After so many days of not eating well and sleeping well, today is the end of the day, and it’s time to have a delicious meal. In view of the belief in Taoism in our area, today's splendid performance of the gentle idiot received a lot of attention during the toast. Not only my family members took turns to bomb, but also people from nearby villages and outside helpers came to clink glasses with him. They were also talking about what they wanted to help with in the future...
These days, the funeral industry is so complicated. Isn’t he just an amateur Taoist priest? As for grabbing it like this? The gentle idiot is really good at showing off. There is obviously so much business to be received at the funeral of a Taoist priest, but the Taoist priest industry is about to starve to death. He tells lies with his eyes open and is not afraid of flashing his tongue. Otherwise, his reputation as a half-immortal has spread all over the country, and all kinds of business are lined up to handle...
Seeing him constantly pushing cups and changing cups, I'm really afraid that he can't stand one cup after another. If he keeps drinking like this, he won't be able to drink and lie down? I have been paying attention to him, and I still want to ask him about the longevity lock. Worry is unnecessary. This grandson drinks like water. He drinks from a small cup and touches eighteen wine glasses in a row. Several neighbors in the village have been drunk by him. After my father had a head-on confrontation with him three times, , also turned around and found a place to vomit.
Even the village party secretary, who made a "one" gesture with others while drinking and said that he could keep drinking, was stunned by him. He sat against the corner, breathing in the breath of alcohol and talking about being drunk and dreaming. if. Only this polite idiot, who is well-educated, knowledgeable and capable of drinking, didn't blush even if he didn't get drunk. To be conservative, he had to drink a kilogram of liquor by himself. Just like that, he also said: "This amount of wine is only half of my limit..."
Damn you, there is no such thing as pretending to be awesome. If you brag, be careful you will be taxed! Seeing that no one was around, he stopped looking for him to drink. Instead, he walked up to me with half a bottle of wine, filled me a glass, and started drinking with me. I quickly said, "My drinking capacity is surprisingly poor. I advise you to drink less. If you drink like this, you may drink to death."
Unexpectedly, the gentle idiot called me "trash" with disdain on his face, then filled another cup and drank it down. Ouch, what a terrifying amount of alcohol.
Then I saw a large number of people around who were drunk and unconscious. I thought that the time had come to clear up the doubts in my heart. After taking a bite of food, I said: "Yang Banxian, I have a question that I need to ask you for. Please tell the truth!" At this time, the gentle idiot was still pretending to me. He didn't even look at me, let alone reply. He filled himself up with another glass of wine and continued unhurriedly. After tasting it, he said loudly: "Ah, good wine." This made it clear that he regarded me as nothing.
How much hatred did I have against you in my last life? You were very friendly towards others, but you either belittled me or ignored me. Why can't you get along with me? How much money did I owe you in my previous life? How much debt? However, now that I am a humble person, if I want to ask for help from others, I have to put down my dignity, pour myself a glass of wine sensibly, put on a smile and be shy, and flatteringly said with a smile: "Prince Bai, hehe, you You don't remember the faults of villains, so you should think that I, Zhang Ruoxu, am just a fart and let it go! I'll drink a glass of wine first, and Quan should make amends to you, you see."
After drinking it all, my head felt like I had eaten a piece of mustard, and it went straight to my head, thinking that the gentle idiot could look good. However, he was so proud of himself that he would not step down even if there were steps, and he still ignored me. His ears seemed to be able to receive various sound signal sources, but they blocked only mine. He continued to drink as he went, and said again: "Good wine!"
I was really convinced, but I couldn't give up. I was so shameless that I just wanted to open up his conversation.
