I am Shi Li, from the Shi clan in Tianlan City.
He is one of the children sent by his family to Icewind Dale for training.
This was not a pleasant experience. If I had to find something pleasant, it would be that I came here with my brother.
His name is Shi Feng, and I call him Feng'er.
This has been a very long time, but when I look back, it seems like a fleeting moment.
Hunting, gathering, ambushing, trading.
Have dinner, chat, light a fire, and sing.
Then.
grow up.
We grew up little by little, slowly felt that we were being accepted by the world, and slowly felt that no matter how difficult life was, we would eventually have to go through it hand in hand.
Then, the adults finally didn’t want us to pass by like this.
We live together, Feng'er was injured.
I took Feng'er away and learned to live alone.
I gathered firewood, built a fire, gathered herbs, boiled residue, waited, hunted, skinned and picked meat.
Then I was in a daze, counting the snow, singing, and crying.
The summer in the north is always so short, but the winter is so long.
There was never enough food, and so was firewood.
I could save my own rations so that Feng'er could eat better, but even if I spent the night in the snow, the cave wouldn't be any warmer.
The deadline for survival is clearly visible, but until then, we still have to survive.
I clearly feel that I am getting weaker and weaker, so weak that it is difficult to even walk, and my ankles are already swollen, but I still have to support myself and go out hoping to find a piece of dry firewood, or one or two animal carcasses left in the snow. Although I come back empty-handed every time I go out, I still choose to go out.
I didn't dare to face Feng'er's desperate eyes, nor did I dare to face the inevitable future.
But the biggest fear is the fear of facing one's own desires.
I'm very hungry and I want to eat.
There is still a small amount of food stored in the cave, but it belongs to Feng'er, not me.
but.
Feng'er is mine.
Why can't I eat Feng'er?
Whenever I look at my brother sleeping soundly in bed, I can't help but have this fantasy.
I imagined that Feng'er was the pig I fed, fat and delicious.
There is also a ready-made campfire in the cave. Whether it is barbecue or cooking with snow water, it must be very delicious.
Although there is no salt or aniseed, cooking it with some sour dried fruits and adding two pieces of rock salt will definitely remove the fishy smell. It is delicious and plump. It must be the most delicious thing I have ever eaten in my life.
If you can't finish it, the leftovers can be smoked into bacon and hung high in the cave. Whenever you feel hungry, you can take off a piece and enjoy the delicious food while remembering Feng'er.
I was afraid of my endless fantasies and my ugly and hypocritical heart, so much so that I didn’t dare to see Feng’er’s eyes trusting me.
Did you know that the sister you rely on and trust the most is always thinking about when to eat you?
But I didn't do it after all.
I was just with Feng'er, facing the longest night of my life together.
We extinguished the campfire and curled up on the bed together, waiting for our common destination.
However, that night did not pass. I had a very sweet and warm dream. In the dream, I returned to my parents whose appearance I had forgotten, and enjoyed the delicacy of roasting a whole suckling pig by the warm fireplace.
But the dream was not over. I was awakened by the shrill cry. When I woke up, I only saw Feng'er cowering in the corner, looking at me with fear in his eyes. Whenever I approached him, he would Cry in despair and then hide.
At this time I saw his right hand.
That thin and thin wrist had a piece of flesh torn off by someone's teeth. The torn flesh was white in color and not even a drop of blood could seep out, as if someone was there greedily sucking every drop of blood.
I subconsciously touched the corner of my mouth, but I felt it was full of blood.
I staggered away and walked into the snow alone.
It turns out that I have really been hoping that he would die soon.
He ruined everything for me.
A normal life, friends to talk to, and a future to live in.
If it weren't for him, if it weren't for him, I would definitely still be able to live under everyone's attention as the best child. I could help many people and protect many people. In the future, I would definitely become very powerful, powerful enough to Let countless people live comfortably and safely.
I was so hypocritical and so shameless that I allowed him to live until now and dragged myself down to where I am today.
So I turned around slowly in the wind and snow.
There is some food in the cave that he doesn't want to eat anyway, I can go back and eat it.
The campfire's embers will probably still burn for a while before I can light it.
Everything was missing in the cave, except for one thing.
I finally had the chance to lose that extra piece.
Then - I can go back.
I will tell them that Feng'er's wound finally suppurated, and I tried my best to cure him.
With this thought, I walked back to the cave, and then. I saw Feng'er, who had been covered by the wind and snow.
He climbed out of bed and crawled out into the snow.
What a wonderful thing that I don’t even need to do.
But I don't feel happy at all.
I rushed up to pick him up from the snow, then dragged him back to the bed with all my strength, lit a bonfire with flint, and boiled a pot of snow water.
Only then did I see that a new wound had been made on his wrist, and the wound was deep enough to show the bone.
I obviously want to kill him.
Why do you feel so sad when you see him dying?
It turns out that I never knew that I actually still loved this cumbersome and stupid brother.
No matter how hard life is.
I have always loved him.
Thinking this way, I couldn't help but burst out laughing with tears in my eyes.
I took off our clothes for each other and carefully warmed his frozen body with my body. It wasn't until I felt the slight beating of his heart that I finally let out a long sigh of relief.
I put my clothes back on, and while using hot water to clean and bandage his wounds, I used hot water to deliver the last dry food myself.
Then I walked out of the cave and went to the only place where we could be saved.
Watcher's Camp.
There was only one person in the Watcher's camp during the winter, and he seemed very irritable when he was awakened by my knock on the door.
But when I told him that I would do anything for him if he gave me a portion of dry food and charcoal, he became visibly happy.
He repeated and asked me: Anything?
I nodded in response.
In the Watcher camp I gave him my first time.
In exchange for three pieces of dried meat and ten pounds of charcoal.
But when I was about to leave, he stopped me again.
Tell me: You can take the charcoal back, but the dried meat must be eaten here.
I disagreed and told him that if necessary, he could do it again, or let more people come.
He shook his head to express his disagreement, and then said: How could I let you go back and raise your mistress brother?
So, I killed him.
Killing is no easier than killing anything, but it's also not harder than killing anything.
He broke my arm and left many wounds on my body.
But I killed him.
I tried my best to plunder all the useful supplies I could find in the camp, then burned the entire camp on fire, and pulled the sled back to the cave.
The supplies I brought back may be enough for the two of us to live on, but if I kill the watcher, my family will definitely not spare me if they find out.
Also, if I suffer such an injury, I'm afraid it will take a longer time and more medicines to treat.
At that time, it must be Feng'er who took care of me.
It's just that I don't want him to experience the emotion of despair and hating everything.
I don't even want to be hated by my favorite brother the way I hated him.
So after seeing him for the last time, I pulled the empty sled and jumped into the deep ravine with it.
