Drowsily, Liu Chan slept very uneasily in his sleep.
Not only was he tossing and turning on the bed unable to calm down, but even in his sleep, he entered a brand new dreamland.
Only this time, he no longer recalled his life as his own identity, but saw his long-lost father as if he had become an outsider.
Not the old man licking his wounds in Yong'an City now.
But the young man in his twenties who led hundreds of rebels and bravely drew his sword in the face of tens of thousands of Yellow Turban rebels.
It was the man who broke into the mansion in a fit of rage, pulled out his riding crop, and whipped the imperial postal supervisor in public.
He was the middle-aged man who stood up again with two swords after failing again and again.
It was the old man who was nearly fifty years old, still trapped in a small place, and then told his still young father-in-law that he wanted to restore the Han Dynasty...
"Huh~"
Another sudden awakening, Liu Chan suddenly sat up from the bed and gasped for breath.
Looking at the empty dormitory and the dark sky, he sternly stopped Huang Hao who wanted to come in from outside the hall, and then slowly calmed down his mood.
Liu Chan didn't know what kind of emotions he should use to face himself now.
From the first time he woke up today to now, he has actually not been able to fully accept all this.
Facing the current situation, Liu Chan couldn't think of any changes... No, it should be that he didn't want to think about any changes.
He knows this is too hard!
He still has his father-in-law, he still has his own father, he...he doesn't know what to do.
Rather than saying that he wants to change, it is better to say that he wants to cherish every moment he spends with his father and his father-in-law.
But in the dream just now, he didn't know what was going on.
He seemed to have experienced his father's long and short life.
It was long because he saw failure over and over again.
Some of them he knew, and some were failures that he didn't even know about. He didn't even know if they were dreams or real.
He saw his young father-in-law, who was so high-spirited and handsome.
But Liu Chan knew that in the coming days, he would lose one person after another who he could rely on.
He will lose his father, and he will see his father-in-law grow old little by little, and then leave him too.
He may even lose his wife, his son, and everyone who has high hopes for him.
Eventually....he will lose himself again.
He didn't know how he would feel if he were allowed to experience this feeling again.
But...he's very uncomfortable now!
"Your Highness..." Huang Hao's voice came from outside the palace again, "Do you need someone to send a doctor to Your Highness?"
"No need...no need to trouble the doctor!" Liu Chan stopped Huang Hao again, and then closed his eyes in pain and helplessness.
There was a long silence in the dormitory. Liu Chan seemed to want to make a move but was unable to make a decision. Huang Hao seemed to want to rush in but did not dare to push the door of the dormitory.
Time passed like this little by little, and the sound of the bell sounded particularly loud in the empty dormitory.
Liu Chan's mood could not be calmed down no matter what.
"Don't do evil because it's small, don't do good because it's small. Only the virtuous and virtuous can obey others. Your father's virtue is weak, so don't imitate him."
Just when Liu Chan tried hard to close his eyes, trying to forget everything he had just seen.
But for some reason, a voice suddenly appeared in his mind.
And it's like dog-skin plaster stuck in my mind. The more I want to forget, the clearer this sentence becomes.
Under the constant reverberation, Liu Chan's fists clenched tighter and tighter.
"That's enough...that's enough!"
Liu Chan, who had always been good-tempered, felt angry for the first time. His clothes were soaked with sweat, and he leaned on the bed that was not soft.
His eyes opened again in the dark night.
He clearly remembered every word his father said to him.
Because he also clearly remembered that since he was a child, there were only a handful of times when he could see his father.
The old man seemed to have endless things to do.
Every time I see him, he comes and goes in a hurry, and he teaches me very little.
Even...even he was not able to see his last side, and even his last words to him were just brought to him by his father-in-law.
He had never really understood his father, and he had never known how important the Northern Expedition and the Han Dynasty were to him.
He supported the Northern Expedition because his father wanted to do so. He supported the restoration of the Han Dynasty because his father wanted to restore the Han Dynasty.
He just did what they wanted him to do, but... he knew very well that he couldn't do it well.
So he wanted to give up. This was the case in his previous life, and it will be the same in this life.
But... after this dream happened tonight, Liu Chan wanted to give up but couldn't really say it.
"Why bother... Why bother struggling again and again... You obviously know you can't do it.
You all know it can't be done.
Destiny, destiny, you all talk about destiny, but you...you really don't know destiny! "
Liu Chan opened the quilt on the bed again, looked at the dark night sky, and thought about the destiny he knew.
He believed that based on his father's experience and his talent as a father-in-law, they had already known this destiny.
They also understand how difficult what they are doing is.
This world may be the world of those wealthy families, or it may be the world of those princes and nobles, but it cannot be the world of people like them.
An orphan of the royal family who was born in a village and was not recognized by anyone.
A family is scattered, and all relatives can only flee in all directions.
What is happening in this world has anything to do with them.
It's not like they can't live well...
Liu Chan didn't understand why they insisted on doing these things, even now he still doesn't understand.
But even if he didn't understand it, if Liu Chan could see it all happen again, let him watch his father leave him again.
Let him watch his father-in-law leave with endless regrets after working hard again and again.
Liu Chan felt uncomfortable at all.
"Why do you have to make things difficult for me... Even if you try hard, can you really change something?
That's considered hard work...try hard...
That...that...
How about...try to work hard first? "
