Chapter 8 Xiao Yikeng
Having made up his mind, the old liar stepped forward and kicked the silly bear lying on the ground.
"Shouldn't it? Are the monsters now so reluctant to fight? Could it be...that my cultivation has improved again?"
I didn't dare to step forward, not because I was afraid that the stupid bear was not dead, but because I didn't want to see the horrific scene of the old liar killing the bear and dismembering it, let alone that bloody scene tainting my innocent heart. …….
.............
All right! I admit, I'm just afraid that stupid bear is not dead.
If nothing goes wrong, there will definitely be an accident.
That stupid bear was really pretending to be dead...
Hahaha, I'm still smart
Even I noticed the strange behavior of Silly Bear, let alone the old liar.
So I shouted loudly to the old liar:
"Master, you are the main attacker, and I will guard the tower to prevent it from stealing your home."
"What? What are you talking about?"
Before the old liar could understand my strategy of fighting, the silly bear got up and delivered a left hook, plus a long-lost martial arts secret: the monkey steals the peach.
But the old liar still dodged them one by one calmly.
"What? What did you just say?"
"I told you to watch less movies from now on, play more King of Kings, and don't act like a fool, okay?"
"Minato! I only play Peace Elite"
The old liar and I sang along and didn't take that stupid bear seriously at all.
Silly Bear saw that his two sudden attacks did not cause any harm to the old liar, and then... he also joined the chat group...
"Old man, do you look down on me? Are you still in the mood to talk about games here?"
"Okay, very good, then don't force me"
After retreating from the group, Big Silly Bear turned its back and raised its butt, which was the size of a car, and exerted enough force to make a loud fart.
"boom"
"哐"
I was about ten meters away from them, but still within the range of Big Silly Bear's stinky fart...
"I'll strangle it, it stinks."
It's like ten thousand boxes of Wang Zhihe stinky tofu plus countless rotten eggs plus the old liar's smelly socks that haven't been washed for more than ten years, then multiplied by two, then squared, fourth power, sixth power... .......Stinks even more
Please refer to Baidu for specific results.
Mainly, not only does it stink, but it also really hurts your eyes.
My nose was filled with runny nose and I burst into tears. I didn’t know but thought I was moved by some movie.
And it is even worse for the old liar who is at the center of the explosion, no, the center of the big fart. His whole body was blackened, his teeth were blown out, and he looked unkempt and looked like a fool.
Seeing this, I had no time to care about the smell of farts, so I had to laugh at it.
"Hahaha, the old liar asked you to say that I am black. Hahaha, you are too now. Haha, you are not only black, but you also fucking stink."
The old liar didn't say anything. I guessed that his ears were ringing from the ass.
Da Shaxiong answered: "Yes, you deserve it. Do you two idiots still dare to look down on me?"
"Bye, Minato!"
After using the biochemical weapon, Dashu Xiong stood up and left.
"Stand right there!!!"
"Did I let you go???"
"You have to pay for your actions, you know?"
The old liar in the fart fog has completely turned into a black man, speaking every word like a demon in hell.
"Price? What price? The price of love? Oh! Sorry, no more, wait until next time." After saying that, the silly bear ran away!
It was so pretentious when I arrived, but so "that" when I left.
"Want to run?"
"Can you run away?"
The old liar ducked out of the way and stood in front of Dasha Xiong.
I heard howls like slaughtering pigs:
"Master, don't be impulsive!"
"Even Jesus coming today can't save it, I say that"
"Minato, damn you, dare to destroy me with your farts"
"Minato, I have never smelled such a smelly fart in my more than three hundred years of life."
Since Dasha Xiong’s fart fog has not dissipated, and I don’t want to get too close to them, I can only try to persuade the old liar:
"Master, that's enough. You can vent your anger, but don't vent your desires."
"Old man, I'm going to kill you, what the hell?"
"Minato, I'll beat you to death"
"Come on, let's hurt each other"
"Minato"
"oops"
After 30 minutes, the fart fog dissipated and the wailing disappeared...
The old liar inserted his hand into the Big Silly Bear's nostril and dragged it over.
"Damn it, Master, is this still the same bear just now?"
"Why has it become smaller? This big silly bear used to be as big as a hill, but now it is only the size of an ordinary bear, but its head seems to be bigger than before."
The old liar threw the silly bear aside in disgust and said, "Who else could it be?"
"Tch" Silly Bear snorted disdainfully
"What's going on? You still don't accept it, right?" The old liar wanted to move forward.
I quickly grabbed the old liar and said: "Calm down, calm down, you are black and smelly and quite cool now, don't be angry."
After saying that, I pointed at the silly bear sitting on the ground: "Tell me, why did you attack us?"
"Minato, little arm boy, are you trying to scare me? I won't tell you, what can you do to me?"
The silly bear had a cocky neck and big eyes staring at me, with the expression of a dead pig not afraid of being scalded by boiling water.
"Let me tell you, I am the king of Wanda Mountain. Do you know that I also have a good elder brother called Black Tiger Immortal? As long as no one in the Northeast dares not to give him face, do you know?"
"My eldest brother has been practicing Buddhism for hundreds of years. Who dares not to give him face across the Northeast? I am his most beloved little brother. Do you know that?"
"Do you dare to kill me?"
"Have you ever heard of the Black Tiger Immortal?"
After saying that, the stupid bear looked straight at me, wanting to hear my answer to it.
"I'm sorry, hundreds of years ago, I didn't remember it and didn't recognize it," I answered honestly
Silly Bear, who got a negative answer, looked at the old liar again.
"Hundreds of years ago? Sorry, I'm forgetful and don't recognize you."
One of us had no memory, the other was forgetful. The fool was caught off guard, and his tone did not dare to be so strong anymore. He continued to say haha:
"It doesn't matter if you don't know the Black Tiger Immortal, let's do it like this! We are all from the Northeast, and we should give each other some face. Today we will change the story. What do you think?"
The old liar and I shook our heads at the same time.
"What? It's not over yet, is it? You have to take my demon pill, right?"
The old liar and I nodded at the same time.
"Old man, how about we do this, how about I give you the king of Wandashan Mountain, and that little black brother, how about I introduce you to a banshee, she is always a rat spirit now , is about to transform, one of you is a gangster and the other is a thief, they are a perfect match, do you think this will work?"
The old liar and I shook our heads at the same time again.
"Minato, it's too hard to talk to you two. This won't work and that won't work either. What are you two going to do?"
"You two still want me to be a bull and a horse for you?"
The old liar and I looked at each other and nodded at the same time.
"What? Just for this?"
"Okay, but I'll say the ugly things first. I'm not responsible for pooping or peeing."
"You're overthinking, we don't shit at all"
That's right, we don't even eat, where does the shit come from?
In this way, the two of us became friends, but they both had their own ideas.
My idea is: The old liar and I are too boring, so it would be nice to have a talking pet.
The old liar’s thought is: Damn it! This kid Xuan Ming is so annoying. He pushes me to do things day by day. If things go on like this, I will be so angry with him that I will become Alzheimer's disease. It doesn't matter if there is a big silly bear, I can take it out on him, yes, yes.
Dasha Xiong’s idea is: This old man has a very high level of cultivation. If I hang out with him in the future, I will definitely have a future. As for that kid, he is quite funny and we should be able to become good friends in the future.
Dasha Xiong first introduced himself: "My name is Xiao Yikeng, and I am the boss of this Wanda Mountain Range. From now on, you can call me Xiao Xiao or Lao Xiao, or you can call me Yikeng."
"Can I call you Big Butt Xiao?" I said jokingly.
In fact, I was not off base, it was just because this big stupid bear raised its hindquarters high when it let out that super invincible big stinky fart, which left a deep impression on me.
"Hate! How do you know someone else's nickname?" Dasha Xiong looked at me shyly.
"Nani?"
"Okay, I'll call you Lao Xiao"
Lao Xiao continued:
"This unfathomable, righteous old man looks so much like Chow Yun-fat, then I will call you Fa Ge from now on."
"This little brother, uh... I'll call you Xiao Hei from now on."
The old liar felt really comfortable and enlightened when he was praised like this by Lao Xiao. He rubbed his big back and said, "Okay, I'm fine."
"No! I have a problem!"
I'm fucking black and you just call me Xiaohei? One day I change my color again, will you change my name? What's your logic?
"No, my name is Wang Xuanming, you can call me Brother Wang from now on."
"What? Do I call you brother?"
"What? Are you dissatisfied?"
"I accept it, I accept it, and I will call you Brother Wang from now on."
From then on, Lao Xiao called the old liar Fa Ge, called me Brother Wang, I called the old liar Master, and I called Da Xiong Lao Xiao. The old liar called me his apprentice and Big Xiong Xiao Xiao. In short, they were all fucking inferior.
Since I am already a brother, I must exercise my right to be a brother. I pointed at the cauldron that I had just taken a bath in and said, "Old Xiao, please pour out the water in this cauldron."
Lao Xiao walked to the big cauldron and smelled it. He turned to look at me and said, "Brother Wang, I feel a strong spiritual power in this cauldron. Isn't it a waste for you to ask me to pour it out?"
"What? The first time my brother asked you to do something, it was your mother-in-law's fault. Do you want to rebel?" I glared at Lao Xiao in a bossy manner.
"No, Brother Wang, I mean, it would be too wasteful to pour it out. Can I drink it?"
"What? You want to drink?"
"Ah, can't you?"
"Okay, okay, you can drink."
I saw Lao Xiao holding up the cauldron and pouring it down...
"Uh...Old Xiao...I want to say this is my bath water, would you suggest it?"
"What? Bath water?"
"Uh... But it's not just ordinary bath water. It also contains my life essence. Do you suggest it?"
"What? Did you cum inside?"
"Fuck you, I added baby urine in it"
"Ah, I was shocked. I thought you were doing "what" inside!"
"You don't suggest it?"
"I don't recommend it. As long as you can improve your cultivation and transform into a human form as soon as possible, let alone a child's urine, I dare to eat even a child's poop."
"Okay, stop, stop talking, I'm a little nauseous."
