Five weeks.
In just five weeks, or even less than five weeks, the condition has deteriorated more fiercely and faster than in the previous two years. It is like an out-of-control racing car, the brakes have failed, and it can only continue to run rampant. Move forward until your body breaks into pieces.
All illusions of world peace were instantly torn to pieces.
Since Ryan's condition worsened, Jonathan has shouldered all the burdens. He has no one to talk to and no one to rely on. After being strong for a long time, he suddenly saw Lu Ke——
The captain of the offensive team who led the San Francisco 49ers to resurgence and reach the top, the quarterback of the team who worked tirelessly to win, the spiritual leader who once again ignited the enthusiasm of the fans and the hope of the city, all the defenses and all the strength. Be vulnerable.
That sudden impact had been accumulated for too long and suppressed for too long. After it was all released, even a strong and determined person like Jonathan began to become dazed and muttered to himself unconsciously.
"When the diagnosis was first made, the doctor said that this disease is unpredictable, impossible to contain, and cannot be cured. It can only be relieved. But even if we insist on rehabilitation, the effect is unknown. Whether it can inhibit the worsening of the disease is unknown. People can know. Therefore, we need to be mentally prepared at all times. The patient may pass away in just one year, or he may live for more than ten years."
"I thought... I thought I was mentally prepared. I thought I was strong enough to deal with all possibilities. In the past two years, I have gone through the five stages of grief several times. I thought I was early. I was already invulnerable. But...but I still wasn't ready. Ryan needed me, but I couldn't even take care of myself. God, I was such a terrible brother."
Suddenly, Jonathan's voice stopped. There was no choking, no crying, and no sourness. It was just a feeling of confusion and confusion. He looked at Lu Ke with doubts, "Why? Why did things develop like this?" Where is my son? Can God give me the answer? Or who can give me the answer? Who should I ask?"
Sadness is sharper than anger.
Confusion is more bitter than despair.
Calmness is more depressing than outburst.
Jonathan didn't cry or roar, and couldn't even see any tears. He was calm and calm, but Lu Ke could hardly breathe and couldn't say a word.
He had no way to answer, and he didn't know how to answer.
Even the words of comfort have become so pale at this moment, "Everything will be fine", "Things will turn around", "I will sincerely pray for you"... These are all lies, in the cruel In reality, it has no comfort effect at all. It sounds like a lollipop to comfort a nine-year-old child - it doesn't work at ten years old.
Looking into Jonathan's confused eyes, Lu Ke clenched his fists heavily and said firmly, "But the matter is still not over."
Jonathan looked at Lu Ke blankly, with no wave in his eyes, as if he didn't understand the meaning of this sentence.
Lu Ke couldn't lie, "Things will get better." He couldn't give Jonathan such illusory hope, because even doctors and God couldn't guarantee it, so what could he do?
But Lu Ke knows that he will not give up, he refuses to give up, football is like this, dreams are like this, and life is like this.
When he was a sparring partner in college, John Ward laughed at him for being stupid. He foolishly insisted on a hopeless goal and a lifeless dream. Like an idiot, he hit the wall again and again, breaking his head and bleeding but still didn't understand. Giving up is the stupidest persistence in the world. "Really smart people must learn to give up."
Nietzsche said that the so-called maturity of many people is just that the edges have been worn away by customs and become secular and practical. That is not maturity, but premature aging of spirit and premature death of personality. True maturity should be the formation of unique personality, the discovery of true self, and spiritual results and harvest.
To stick to your dreams and stick to yourself, maybe all you need is a little silly courage.
He was later joined by John Ward.
To this day, Lu Ke still remembers that young man who was running wildly on the Rose Bowl. He once thought that his career would be exhausted in the sparring, and after four years of suffering, he was like this. The end; but after all, he and Lu Ke walked side by side, grabbed the tail of youth, and bloomed wantonly.
Life is as gorgeous as summer flowers, and death is as quiet and beautiful as autumn leaves.
Before the end comes, life still has countless possibilities; before reaching the end, dreams still have countless shapes.
The same is true for Ryan now. He has chosen to give up now before the sprint to the finish line? This is definitely not the performance a true 49er should have.
"The matter is still not over." Lu Ke repeated his words again, with a firm light in his eyes, cheering for Jonathan, "Before the moment the game ends, never give up, and always keep fighting. , always have hope, even if the final outcome is still failure, at least we tried our best and fought until the last second. This is the reason why the team has reached this point, and it is also the belief that the fans are willing to accompany us to move forward side by side, no ?"
Knowing that this is a losing game, what should we do? Raise your hands, surrender, and end this pain early; or clench your fists, raise your hands, and keep fighting until the last drop of blood is burned out?
Ryan's game is not over yet.
Jonathan opened his mouth slightly, and the light flashed again in his dazed and numb eyes. The numb and dazed emotions seemed to loosen slightly, but for a moment he could not distinguish the specific emotions. After all, he was still burdened The pressure is too long and too long, and it is difficult to turn around immediately.
Lu Ke showed a big smile and gestured in the direction of the ward, "Can I go in to visit Ryan? I mean, if it won't disturb his rest and recovery."
Jonathan finally came back to his senses, but he still couldn't organize his words and speak a complete sentence. He could only nod his head in agreement.
Lu Ke then turned around and gently pushed open the ward door.
I don’t know whether it was because Lu Ke’s visit was at just the right time, or because the ward was arranged in such a way that there was only Ryan alone in the ward that could accommodate six people. He was facing the window, sitting quietly like this, and only looked at his back. , unable to accurately depict specific expressions and demeanor.
Just now, Lu Ke and Jonathan stayed at the door for so long, and Ryan remained motionless.
Lu Ke stepped slightly heavier, making some noise to remind Ryan that someone was visiting, but Ryan still sat motionless, which forced Lu Ke to only slightly distance himself, in order to avoid scaring Ryan. , walked to the hospital bed opposite Ryan, looked around, and sat down on the edge of the hospital bed, parallel to Ryan.
Turning his head, there was still no movement from Ryan, and Lu Ke couldn't tell whether he had noticed his arrival.
Just when Lu Ke was hesitating whether he should make a sound, Rui En took the initiative to speak, "...wuwuwuwu, believe it, now...ummm..." His words were a little vague, with syllables and syllables. They were stuck together and couldn't be clearly identified, which made Ryan smile helplessly and pause for a moment.
No movement could be seen, and it seemed that he just adjusted his breathing before Ryan spoke again, "Whether you believe it or not, I am very excited now. I never thought that I would be able to sit with Skywalker one day. This is simply incredible. I'm screaming in my head now, but in order to avoid disturbing other patients, I have to suppress my impulse."
Ryan spoke very, very slowly, almost word for word, and occasionally some syllables were slightly unclear, but this time I could finally understand him.
Lu Ke didn't interrupt Ryan in a hurry. He didn't chuckle until he finished speaking. "Every week, we have a chance to fight side by side. I thought you were used to it." Lu Ke He also slowed down his speaking speed slightly, without being too deliberate or obvious, but by lowering the rhythm so that the whole atmosphere would not be so weird.
The corner of Ryan's mouth twitched slightly, as if he was smiling, but he seemed to be twitching, and he couldn't tell clearly, "That was a moment when 70,000 nine people fought side by side, and I was just one of them."
After another pause, Ryan swallowed with great difficulty. The subtle movements were like slow-motion freeze-frame analysis, frame by frame extremely clear.
Lu Ke didn't speak. He didn't deliberately pretend to be happy and excited, nor did he distract himself by talking nonsense. Instead, he always maintained a sincere and calm attitude and looked at Ryan.
Because Ted Jean told Lu Ke when he was recovering from illness at the beginning of the year: What we need is not mercy, but equality. The kindness and optimism in your eyes look like alms from above, because you already know our ending. The problem is, I don't accept that that's my ending.
After completing his swallowing action, Ryan continued:
"But the truth is, I can't move now. Sitting here quietly, this is my rehabilitation exercise today. If I move a little bit or shake a lot, I might lose my balance, fall, and then I can't stand anymore. Get up. Just like now, I want to turn my head and look at you head on, but I dare not.
Similarly, I want to return to Candlestick Stadium and fight side by side with all my comrades, but I have no choice. This is my current situation, but don’t worry about me, I have gradually accepted it, but Jonathan still can’t give up. He always feels that he owes me. He is such a fool. How could he owe me?
Witnessing the rise of the 49ers again, this is the best thing. "
