Jonathan Baldwin stood there blankly, unable to believe his eyes. His irritated and confused thoughts came to a standstill for a while, so much so that when Lu Ke waved hello, he couldn't react and could only nod blankly. , trying to say something, but unable to find any accurate words, he just stood there stupidly.
"You...I...uh..." Jonathan stammered, but his fragmented words could not express his thoughts at all, or in other words, he had no ideas at all.
Lu Ke pieced together an outline from the few words, and said with a smile, "Sorry, I didn't say hello in advance. I came here specially to see Ryan. If it's not convenient, then I will come back next time. I hope not Interfering with his rest and recovery."
"No, no, no, no..." Jonathan waved his hands repeatedly, and turbulent emotions swarmed up. After denying it repeatedly, there was no explanation or response. Without warning, his voice became choked, and his slightly sore nose was cut off. After hearing all the words that followed, he just stood there blankly, trying his best to calm down his mixed emotions.
The Jonathan who was once covered in thorns, the Jonathan who was not willing to go toe-to-toe with die-hard fans, the Jonathan who used to speak harshly to Lu Ke, the Jonathan who was extremely tough and refused to compromise, the Jonathan who had a fiery temper like a stone in a pit. Average Jonathan…
At this moment, there was a sense of silent helplessness, no tears, no crying, no sadness, just confusion and panic, but it vividly outlined the powerlessness that came from deep in the heart.
Even without any words, Lu Ke could imagine that Ryan's condition would definitely not be very good, and it might even be worse than imagined. Involuntarily, Lu Ke also felt sad.
The long and narrow corridor suddenly became quiet, and the deathly silence was slowly spreading. It was as if you could feel the god of death spreading its wings, and the dark shadows shrouded bit by bit, slowly swallowing up the bright life. ; The powerful frustration of birth, old age, illness and death makes every ordinary person deeply feel their own insignificance and humbleness.
"Snapped."
A crisp sound broke the shackles of tranquility, and Jonathan came back to his senses - the notebook and pencil he just held in his hand unknowingly loosened their grip, and finally the pencil fell to the ground, making a sound. .
Before Jonathan could bend down, Lu Ke had already bent down to pick up the pencil and handed it over. He slowly took the pencil and gently turned it around on his fingertips, with a weak smile on his lips.
"This is for Ryan's rehabilitation. The doctor suggested that it is best for him to practice writing every day. You know, for him, writing, speaking, walking, swallowing, these natural actions have become extremely difficult, and most of all The basic and simplest lifestyle habits are the content of his rehabilitation. He just needs to breathe, and breathing is enough. Just breathe."
As he spoke, his smile rose, but it was extremely bitter. The powerlessness revealed behind those simple words was like a swamp, making people slowly sink into it and unable to extricate themselves.
The so-called amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, commonly known as "ALS", is one of the most cruel diseases in the world.
The patient will gradually lose control of his muscles, and his motor nerves will eventually atrophy completely, which is no different from general paralysis. It will even affect basic body functions such as eating, breathing, and speaking.
However, since this disease does not affect the sensory nerves, the patient's intelligence, memory and five senses will not be damaged in any way. In other words, the patient can only watch himself losing control bit by bit and walking toward death step by step. All the feelings are extremely clear and real, but there is nothing I can do about it.
The whole process was slow and long, and the pain gradually added up, making every day a torture, cruel and terrible.
Generally speaking, patients can only survive two to five years after the onset of the disease. So far, there is still no effective treatment, and even delaying the disease is extremely difficult.
As Jonathan said, even writing and speaking, breathing and swallowing, sitting, standing and walking, which are common to ordinary people, are part of the rehabilitation of people with ALS. How ironic and ridiculous; hidden behind it is pain and suffering that ordinary people cannot imagine.
Jonathan's words paused, he bit his head hard, looked at Lu Ke, and showed an ugly smile again, "Sorry... I mean, thank you, thank you, if Ryan knows that you are coming to visit him, he will It will definitely be very happy...I'm sorry, I haven't been to home games recently...Ryan really wanted to go, he always thought about being able to go in person, but the doctor said...the doctor said...Thank you, really thank you."
Completely incoherent, Jonathan's whole brain was like a ball of mush, unable to sort out his thoughts. He tossed and turned and said words that he didn't understand over and over again. In the end, he just kept repeating "Thank you", his eyes There was excitement and joy in it, but there were bursts of bitterness in the depths.
The panic was so real that even Lu Ke's mood couldn't help but sink slowly. An ominous premonition quietly emerged.
"I know, I know. Although you did not appear at Candlestick Stadium, you will always be the biggest motivation for the team to continue to fight and move forward. You have always walked side by side with us and experienced every game. Otherwise, how could we possibly How about winning these games? Right? Nine people are nine people, and we are always together." Lu Ke showed a big smile and said firmly.
The corners of Jonathan's mouth could not help but turn up, and he nodded repeatedly, "Yes, yes. Fuck the Seahawks and the Cardinals. Now they know who is the boss in the NFC West, right?" ?" As he spoke, his smile blossomed.
But the brighter the smile, the bitterer the words, and the deep sadness never went away. However, Jonathan still did not stop, but stared at Lu Ke intently, speaking word by word, more and more Excited, more and more excited, it seems that the whole world has become brighter, and the sharp contrast between extreme optimism and extreme pessimism is revealed in the slightly trembling voice.
"This is our year, right? Bambi? This is our year to get back to the top, right? We've been waiting for so long, and it's finally here, right? This year will be ours, and we will To the surprise of the entire league, we are the 49ers who will never give up easily, and no one can underestimate us, right?"
Staring at Jonathan in front of him, Lu Ke just felt a dull tightness in his chest, and bitterness slowly spread on the tip of his tongue.
"Yes." Lu Ke suppressed the bitterness deep in his heart, nodded heavily and said, "I think so too."
Jonathan laughed heartily, "I know it. Ryan knows it too. Ryan will be very happy, no, he will be crazy, he will even stand up and dance. Haha, he is a terrible dancer , that scene is absolutely unbearable to watch.”
He was obviously smiling cheerfully, but the pain in his words was boiling over, and there were some crystal tears faintly shining in his eyes. He couldn't help but laugh wantonly to hide his embarrassment. Jonathan's thin, rickety back seemed to be slightly bent, almost unable to bear the weight of life.
"I'll look forward to it." Lu Ke tried his best to smile and said cheerfully.
His usual sharp tongue has become clumsy at this moment, and the power of his words seems so pale and light at this moment, even insignificant. No words can bring joy or comfort. Lu Ke's eyes couldn't help but dim slightly, and he was unbearably bitter.
After a slight pause, Lu Ke turned to look at the ward and asked with great difficulty, "Ryan... how are you now?"
Jonathan also turned his head and looked quietly at Ryan's back in the ward. That thin body was unbearable.
But Jonathan still tried to show his strength and calmness, "I don't know, to be precise, the doctor doesn't know either. The doctor said that the condition suddenly worsened. It was not the limb skills, but the ability to swallow and speak, the entire respiratory system. They were attacked to the point where it became difficult to breathe, and they had no way to stop it and had to be hospitalized because..."
After a slight pause, the voice got stuck again. Jonathan thought that things would become easier as time went by, that he would slowly begin to adapt, that he would slowly begin to get used to it. But now he realized that it wasn't.
"Because he might not be able to breathe at any time, or even choke on his own saliva, and then... just..." After all, the following words could not continue and were cut off abruptly again, because Jonathan could not imagine what happened next. Even though the doctor had explained it and he himself had investigated it, he didn't dare to imagine it, for fear that a little imagination might turn the fantasy into reality.
"After the first week of the regular season, the deterioration of his condition accelerated. He must stay in the hospital for observation and treatment at any time to avoid any possible accidents. Now it is only less than five weeks, and it is even worse than the cumulative situation in the past two years. Be more severe." Jonathan looked at Ryan's back blankly, so confused that he couldn't find a place to stay.
He once thought that if he ignored the development of the matter, his condition would not continue to worsen, just like a fairy tale. Therefore, last season, he worked hard to hide information and news about the San Francisco 49ers so that Ryan could rest in peace and recuperate.
He had thought that if he pretended everything was normal, his condition would slowly get better, like in a Hollywood movie. So, when the San Francisco 49ers finally bounced back, they enjoyed the good times.
But the reality is cruel and cold. It unreasonably defeats all pretenses, exposes their tricks of hiding their ears and stealing the truth, and lays all the facts before their eyes in a naked and bloody way. There is no room or space for reaction at all. The world has already Starting to fall apart.
