(one)
I walked forward in the ravine with my luggage on my back, just looking forward to returning home as soon as possible.
More than a year ago, barbarians from the west broke through the city gates and invaded. I was separated from my husband and children, and we were living in the countryside. I could run and crawl. I didn't want to die in the wilderness.
My surname is Liu and my given name is Hongfen. I am the second oldest child in my family. In the past, when I was in the countryside, my fellow villagers would call me Liu Erniang.
Today I saw some rough and arrogant-looking men in a remote mountain ravine. I knew at a glance that they were bandits. It was too late to turn back and run away. The men surrounded me and stared directly at me.
I trembled and said, "Brother, be okay! Be okay! Let me go!"
He cried again: "A good man... a good man! I'm penniless! I don't even have food rations. It's not easy for anyone in this world! How about you guys... don't..."
The three of them blocked me and got closer and closer. The leader, a rough and dark man with a scar across his face, grabbed my hand with a grin: "No money? You guys don't want any money from you!"
I was so frightened that I couldn't shake his hand away. I only heard a person next to him say: "Brother! At first glance, this bitch must have fled through our mountain valley!"
"Meat that comes to your mouth!" Another man patted his bulging belly and laughed, "Take it back! Take it back! I haven't tasted a little pussy in a long time!"
I was scratched so hard by him that I hit the big man on the shoulder. When he saw that I was resisting, he punched me hard in the abdomen. I hadn't eaten anything for several days. When the punch landed on me, I collapsed with stars in my eyes. On the ground, he curled up and could no longer move. Seeing this, the big man put me on his shoulders and walked towards the muddy road with broad steps.
"...Help!" I yelled as loudly as I could, "Help...He's been killed...Help! He's been killed!"
"Scream, scream, scream! What are you calling!"
Someone behind me slapped me, and the taste of blood suddenly appeared in my mouth, "If you ask me again, I will punish you on the spot!"
My eyes went dark and I almost fainted.
I vaguely saw someone walking in the distance. She was short and slender, looking like a woman. When I opened my mouth, my words were unclear, and I didn't know whether I was calling for help or telling her to run.
"Hey! What kind of luck are you having today? It's just a matter of chance!" The big man who was carrying me spat out a mouthful of thick phlegm on the roadside. "Hey! She's still a little girl, but she's better than this half-grown woman!" "After saying that, he threw me to the ground.
My starved body was about to be broken, and I just stared at the person not far away with my eyes open.
Three big men surrounded me with broad steps, as if they were blocking me on the roadside.
The woman seemed to be going around them and continued to move forward, but was caught by someone: "Hey girl! My elder brother is talking to you, can't you hear me? Why are you pretending to be deaf or dumb!" The woman was just stunned for a moment. , and then continue to move forward slowly, step by step.
I couldn't see the woman's face, but I just felt that her movements were a bit stiff and strange. Seeing that the three people's attention was drawn away, I pushed myself up and tried to stand up and run away, but my legs were as weak as if they were useless, so I could only crawl through the mud bit by bit in the opposite direction to them.
"Hey! Why don't you speak! Are you really mute?!" The leading man pulled off the coarse cloth covering the man's head. What was covered was a pale and pale face with empty eyes.
"Holy shit! Brother! This little girl is so good-looking!" The big man next to him exclaimed, "Look at her, she's not a fool who came into trouble! She doesn't say anything or makes a sound!"
"Girl, you're so pitiful! Look at how dirty your fair little face is." The big man smiled with his rotten teeth and grabbed the woman's hands, "Brothers will take good care of you! "
The woman was dragged by them for two steps, but still didn't make a sound. After a while, she seemed to notice something and broke away from the big man's hand. "This little girl!" The big man didn't expect that she would have that kind of strength, so he sneered, "It's easier to carry her back!" After that, he punched her as hard as he punched me.
The woman was hit by the punch and shook twice, but did not fall.
When the big man punched her again, he was struck back and exclaimed, "Can't I subdue you?!"
"Brother! Look at me!" A man picked up a wooden stick from the roadside and hit the woman hard on the back of the head. After a muffled sound, the woman fell to the ground. I only saw dark red blood flowing from her hair and onto the dirt road.
"Don't beat me to death!"
"What's the point of killing people these days? It saves us a bite of food."
"Hahahahaha!"
I was so frightened that I sped up my movements and tried to walk away. No matter how hard I tried, I could only catch up with them in three or two steps.
"Not dead! Not dead! Still alive!" The big man stood in front of her head with a wooden stick, pointing at the head in the pool of blood and said excitedly.
"Pick it up and take it back!" The big man pointed at the half-dead woman, then pointed at his younger brother, made a gesture of carrying it on his shoulders, and then walked towards me. "Boom!" He kicked me first, then pulled me up, "Run? You still want to run?"
His eyes were full of ruthlessness: "I think you want to die!"
I was scared to death and just wanted to survive. I kept repeating in my mind: "...I won't run anymore...I won't run anymore...I won't run anymore..."
The big man sneered, but there was a piercing scream behind him. When I looked back, I saw the woman who had fallen stood up, holding a wooden stick in her hand. The big man who was standing had already fallen down, and there was a fat one. The round-headed human pig stood there shivering: "Brother! She! She! She stood up! Ghost! It's a ghost!"
The big man who was dragging me was stunned, "Ghost! What ghost! There are no ghosts in this world!"
He threw me away and strode over, looking into the eyes of the woman with blood on her face. I saw his trembling legs, and I felt funny for no reason.
The big man punched him without saying anything, but the woman caught him with a stick, and then hit him with a stick on the side of his neck. She wiped it off his neck as quickly as a sword. I couldn't understand her movements. I just felt that there should not be a stick in her hand, but a sword, a sword that could kill all evil people like them.
The big man was stabbed in the abdomen with a stick. When the woman put the stick away, I could see the blood on the head of the stick clearly: she had really stabbed the broken wooden stick into the body!
As the big man fell, she slowly walked towards the fat man. The fat man turned around and wanted to run away, but the woman ran after him and stabbed a wooden stick straight into his head.
My whole body went stiff, my stomach was churning, and I wanted to vomit. I turned my back and vomited it out. Because I hadn't eaten anything, all I vomited out was acidic water that burned my throat.
Is it an evil spirit seeking life? Or are gods coming to save me? I watched the woman covered in dust approach me little by little, trembling uncontrollably.
She was three steps away from me, her body tilted, and she fell straight down. The wooden stick stained with brains suddenly rolled forward, and stopped when it rolled in front of me.
Red, white, fishy and sweet.
When I closed my eyes and vomited, I almost lost my life.
(two)
I lay on the ground for a long time before I managed to get up and drag the woman away half-carrying her.
After dragging her until dark, she found a dilapidated house in the valley. Leaving her where she was, I limped and knocked on the door. After a few knocks, the door collapsed. Dust came on the floor. I couldn't help coughing. While coughing, I looked into the room: it was extremely messy inside. Tables and chairs were broken and fell to the ground. There were many broken tiles from the roof on the ground. Every place was gray and covered with cobwebs, and there were small rustling noises, probably from insects and rats.
Most of the owners of the house have already fled.
Looking at this house, I couldn't help but feel sad again, thinking of my own home, which is probably like this now.
I endured the pain and simply cleaned up the corner where the roof tiles were intact, and dragged the woman in.
She saved me. If it weren't for her, I would have died in the hands of the mountain bandit.
Placing her in the corner, I pulled off a rag from my waist and went to bandage her head wound. The woman's hair was messy, light brown in color, and should have been very long. It was now twisted into a ball of dirt. When she pushed back the hair that covered her face, there was a scarlet mark in her eyebrows, like a new crack.
I didn't know why, so I wrapped the wound and tied it.
"...If my daughter is still alive...she will be this big in a few years..." Looking at her pale face, I couldn't help but mutter to myself. Maybe I made a sound when I spoke, she moved and opened her eyes!
I was startled and quickly moved back for a while, looking at her warily.
She opened her eyes, rubbed her head first, then looked up at me, her mouth opened as if she wanted to speak, but after a long time no sound came out, and then she sat motionless where she was, like a wooden stake. Same.
I was so frightened that I waved my hand in front of her eyes, "You... can't speak?"
She looked at me blankly, her eyes empty, as if she had no soul.
"Are you a human? You're not...really a ghost, are you?" I took a breath and tremblingly wanted to stay away from her.
She trembled and leaned towards me, and the vague but clearly audible words came out of her mouth: "Ghosts... are afraid." The voice seemed to have been locked for a long time, and was extremely hoarse, but it was not unpleasant at all.
I was stunned in place: afraid? Did she say she was afraid?
She lowered her head for a long time, and when she raised her head again, there was a glint in her eyes, as if she was awake.
I understood. She was probably separated from her family during the war like me, and was stimulated by something, which made her look like this silly and crazy.
Thinking of this, I couldn't help but sympathize with her and myself.
"What's your name?" I asked her.
She shook her head and said nothing.
I said, "My surname is Liu. In the past, everyone called me Liu Erniang. I just heard you speak. Can you speak?"
She called me "Second Mother" and then stopped talking. I looked through the night light and saw that she was covering her face, clutching her hair, and shrugging her shoulders. I didn't know what was wrong with her. I thought she was crazy, so I just patted her shoulder lightly. She turned over and kept struggling, making painful whimpering sounds. I had never seen such a scene before, so I had to retreat to the end of the room. In the other corner, seeing her getting sick there, I felt scared and confused, and couldn't sleep all night.
(three)
She is indeed a mad girl.
After spending two days with her, she was sometimes crazy and sometimes sober. When he was ill, he was in a trance, as if he had lost his soul, but when he was awake, he could speak one or two complete sentences.
I dug some wild vegetables outside this shabby house to satisfy my hunger. The grass on this side of the mountain was much better than that of the previous mountains. I was seriously injured and could not travel day and night like before.
I want to go home, even if I die.
The war is over, and my husband and children may have returned home to wait for me.
I thought, even if I die on the road, my humble life, I still have to look in the direction of my homeland.
I pressed down the wild vegetables in my arms and returned to the shabby house. All the valuable things that could be used in this shabby house have been taken away. There are not many pots and pans left. The only one or two bowls left are enough for cooking wild vegetables. When I entered the house, I saw him squatting in the corner. Miss Lu Wu - she said her name was Lu Wu.
She seemed to be holding something in her arms. When I walked into the room, she happily raised the object in front of me. It was a rabbit, a half-disembowelled rabbit.
"Second mother...meat..."
I was surprised and happy. When I looked up at her, I saw blood and rabbit fur all over her face. I was so scared that my legs weakened: "You! You!"
She was startled by me and seemed to wake up. The joy on her face suddenly disappeared. She suddenly collapsed and knelt down on the ground, wiping her face and retching.
"...I'm sorry..." she cried, and my stomach was turbulent. I supported her and said, "How can you say you're sorry when you've eaten meat?" I was still frightened in my heart, and my fear had not diminished by half.
No one wants to be around a crazy person all the time.
If she hadn't saved me and was so nimble with her hands and feet, I might have run away secretly!
I was afraid, afraid of being entangled. She obviously had martial arts skills, and I was afraid of ending up like the bandit.
Just a few days later, Lu Wu's condition seemed to be much better than the day he first met her. The time in the lost state gradually became shorter throughout the day, and she looked almost the same as a normal person, but I I can never forget her madness.
I told her why I was wandering, my hometown, and my home. I just wanted to go home, I just wanted to go home.
She just listened and nodded in confusion, unable to make any answer. But once I started talking, I couldn't hold it back. I suffered too much, and finally someone could listen to me. I held her hand and said over and over again, talking about my daughter who was short-lived, about my son, about my husband who was unexpectedly separated from me when I fled, and about my ups and downs along the way.
I cried and said a lot, maybe I was the crazy one.
She just called me Erniang while I sighed again and again.
I asked her why she ended up like this.
She scratched her scalp and thought for a long time. The clear light in her eyes disappeared little by little. She was sick again. She screamed and fell on the ground and cried out in pain. She said that her body hurt and her bones hurt. She said that she wanted to die, over and over again. screamed.
I was so used to it that I became numb and no longer comforted her. I just watched indifferently until she slowly woke up.
Sometimes I always feel like she is a dead person, but she is obviously still alive.
Lu Wu called me Erniang, but when I didn't respond, she called me again.
"Er Niang, I..." she said, "Did I just..."
I nodded.
"Er Niang, can you go find someone for me?..."
Lu Wu actually mentioned something to me. She had never taken the initiative to say anything to me in the past.
"What are you asking about?" I asked her.
She asked me to help her find someone whose name was difficult to pronounce and remember. I asked why? She didn't say the reason, but she just said to herself that by staying by my side, she could stop the bandits and gangsters. I thought what she said was reasonable. The world is in chaos. I don't want to die in this troubled world. I want to go back. .
I polished a tile and took her to the water to clean it. Her hair could no longer be combed neatly, so I asked her to squat by the water and wash herself, while I stood behind her and cut off the knotted hair with the sharp side of the tile.
Balls of hair fell to the ground, and the blood scabs and mud mixed in them also fell down, but I was a little dazed.
Isn't it obvious why she ended up like this?
Same as me, exactly the same as the source of all my suffering.
It's war.
It was the war brought about by Kunzhai's invasion.
(Four)
We walked forward one mountain after another, and finally saw people and towns.
I didn't walk very long in the town when I was scolded by someone on the side of the road: "You stinking beggar! Go away! Bahta! Bad luck!"
I pulled Lu Wu to huddle on the side of the road and said that we should not go into the town to spend the night and just go outside to find a sheltered place from the wind.
Lu Wu nodded dumbly, but said that she would sell the animal skins she caught along the way. I said hello and asked me to sell it. She said yes and stood on the side of the road in a deserted place waiting for me.
Lu Wu's skills are really good. He can catch prey with his bare hands. The fur of mountain rabbits and wild sheep he catches every time is very bright, and it is definitely popular to sell it for money.
I exchanged three rabbit skins and one sheepskin for three pieces of five hundred coins. When I went back to find Lu Wu, I gave her one piece of money, saying that I had sold so much.
Lu Wu looked at it and said Er Niang could just keep it.
I was startled, gave her fifty cents, and lied to her that I helped her find out information today, but no one knew the person she wanted to ask about. After that, I sighed that no one could find out information so easily.
Lu Wu shook his head and said no, no one would not know who he was.
I was dumbfounded. Could it be that he was a very famous person. Then I thought about it, the person I wanted to inquire about was named Sheng. Could it be the famous Immortal Protector of the World? What a lofty figure he was. How could a lunatic like Lu Wu recognize him?
I said, after we walk a while, I will help you find out more.
She nodded.
In the early morning of the next day, I went to the market early with money in my pocket. My hair was combed meticulously and my clothes were neatly tucked in. I didn't want to be scolded as a beggar again.
I went to the stall and drank a bowl of porridge comfortably, and then started to help Lu Wu inquire about people. How could it be possible to find out any news so easily in this small town on the mountainside? I thought to myself when I talked to the people on the roadside.
Sure enough, after I inquired several people one after another, they all waved their hands and said they didn’t know and had never heard of it. Fortunately, my words yesterday were not used as a cover.
"What does that person do?" It seemed that he finally met someone he had heard of. The middle-aged man scratched the back of his head, "I remember that four or five years ago, he was a well-known wealthy person on the other side of Lishanguan. I I have seen him before, and I heard that the natural disaster came to Luoyao last year. After he came over to look after him, he ran away from the pass overnight, and I have never heard of him again since then."
"Why?" I asked.
"I don't know what happened! The fight between the gods scared me to death! Then the pass was lost! Xirong broke through the pass and blood flowed into a river!" The man frowned and shouted: "You are a woman asking What's the point of doing this?"
Can’t the woman ask? I was arguing angrily in my heart, but I turned back.
Immortal monk... I thought to myself, Lu Wu probably didn't go to find this famous monk just to make a living. Thinking this way, he snorted.
A few days later, Lu Wu and I came near the city.
I heard that this city had been breached during the war, and more than a year later the traces of swords, guns and weapons could still be seen. Lu Wu, who was mentally ill, was naturally not suitable for going to the city. She waited in a dilapidated temple on the outskirts of the city for me to buy some things to take back.
I bought some dry food, secretly bought some clothes for myself, and helped her find out the news.
"Have you ever heard of a man named Sheng Jin, who has a mysterious word?"
I thought I was going to hear the familiar "I haven't heard of it" reply, but I didn't expect that the tailor's wife covered her face and sighed: "Why do you ask this man?"
Before I could answer, she continued speaking, and the words struck me like a thunderbolt.
"real?"
"There can still be a lie!"
I walked out of the clothing store in a daze. I just thought it was over. Can I tell Lu Wu about this? I'm afraid she'll get even crazier if I tell you!
No, if I don’t tell her, she will ask me questions over and over again and torture me.
I counted the coins in my hand and started walking towards the ruined temple.
(five)
"Lu Wu."
I went back to the ruined temple, and she was sitting on a pile of broken cushions with her legs crossed, as if she was doing something, which seemed to be in harmony with the ruined temple with its roof tiles toppled over.
"Er Niang." Lu Wu heard my voice and looked back. Her voice was crisp and fruity. When she calls me "Er Niang" like this, it reminds me of my daughter, and also of me deceiving Lu Wu and taking advantage of Lu Wu. It makes me feel guilty.
"Lu Wu. I'm back. Look, Li'er." I took out two yellow pears from my arms and handed them to her. Lu Wu smiled and took a pear: "Second mother is in a good mood today."
She talks naturally and is in good spirits.
I smiled bitterly and sat side by side with her at the gate of the ruined temple eating pears.
"Lu Wu." I said, "I got news about that person."
Lu Wuyi was startled and quickly turned to look at me, his eyes eager, waiting for my next words.
"Otherwise...I'd better..." Under her gaze, I felt timid and unbearable. I lowered my head to eat the pear, but couldn't taste the sweetness at all.
"Say it, Er Niang, say it quickly!" Lu Wu pulled my arm and urged.
I took a long breath: "He..."
"Already dead." The second half of the sentence was whispered in my throat. I didn't dare to look at Lu Wu's eyes anymore. I only saw the pear rolling from her hand to her lap, and then to the ground.
"No...isn't it?..." She smiled.
Lu Wu shook his body, shook his head in denial, and then said: "It's impossible... It's impossible..."
I closed my eyes and said all the words: "It's true! I asked about more than one family. He died more than a year ago, almost two years ago! The obituary of that family was published. No! No one said this was false."
Lu Wu just kept saying it was impossible and no way. When I looked at her, I saw her eyes were crying and her mouth was smiling. It was scary and heartbreaking. She tried to stand up, her legs weakened, and she fell to the ground. I tried to help her, but she silently took her hand away.
Lu Wu is not crazy.
After telling her this, Lu Wu actually didn't become crazy.
I thought that maybe she had seen through it, and that things would gradually get better and get back on track in the future, but I was totally wrong.
The next morning, when Lu Wu saw me waking up, the first thing she said was to ask me if I could help her find out the news as soon as possible.
It was the same urging as usual.
I was stunned, thinking that I was confused by my sleep, and that I had a bizarre dream last night. He opened his mouth and said, "Okay, okay, okay." After leaving the ruined temple and seeing the pear on the ground, I realized something was wrong.
My heart sank, thinking back to everything yesterday, I clearly told Lu Wu everything, she already knew, why did she still come to ask me?
Lu Wu... is she crazy again?
Seeing me standing motionless at the door of the ruined temple, Lu Wu came out and asked me what I was doing. I looked her up and down and asked if she remembered what I said to her at the door yesterday.
Lu Wu asked, "Did you say anything?" I lowered my head and saw that the pear on the ground was motionless. She shook her head. I went to touch her, but she reacted violently and pushed me away, running towards the ruined temple.
I went to the temple to see her, and she was huddled in a corner covered with cobweb dust, smiling silently, her fingers constantly clasping the wall, and the dust fell down.
I called her, but she didn't respond. She kept mumbling something to herself. I couldn't understand a word, and my hair stood on end. I just felt weird and walked away in a hurry.
Lu Wu's madness makes me have to consider staying in the city for two more days, or find a doctor to show her? After thinking about it, I still feel that it is not as cost-effective as me holding on to the five or six taels of silver.
When I returned to the ruined temple at night, Lu Wu stood alone in front of the tribute platform. She didn't respond when I called her. I was a little tired. Seeing that she didn't say hello, I didn't bother to speak anymore, so I went to the other side of the temple to rest.
As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard her pacing back and forth, and then she called me, "Second Mother."
"What's wrong?" I opened my eyes and saw her looking calm and normal, "Don't you want to rest?"
"You came back very late today...did you get the news I asked you for?"
Another question?
Another question!
I was shocked. I was no longer sleepy. My eyes when I looked at her were full of disbelief and fear. Lu Wu may have noticed it. She touched her head and said, "I won't... I'm getting sick again..." …”
I nodded.
She shook her head: "No. No! I am clearly awake now. Er Niang, did you find out something? Did you find out something? Really? Tell me, tell me quickly!" She said, bending down. Grab my hand with great force.
"Lu Wu, please wake up!" I cried out in pain as she grabbed my wrist.
Lu Wu paused, let go of my hand, looked down at me, with no emotion in his eyes, and said coldly in a commanding tone: "Tell me."
What a madman! I cursed in my heart, but after all I was afraid, so I whispered: "I have told you twice, and this is the third time."
"Say," she shouted.
"He is dead."
I raised my head and said word by word, "The person you want me to ask about is named Sheng Xuanyuan. He is already dead."
Lu Wu pursed his lips.
"He didn't die in battle, he committed suicide."
"You're lying!" Lu Wu grabbed me and felt weightless for a moment. She pushed me against the wall and said through gritted teeth, "You're lying! You're lying!! You're lying!!!"
She repeated it over and over again like crazy.
oh. It's not like, she was originally a madman.
Maybe I was crazy too. I grabbed her and told her over and over again: "I'm not lying! He's dead, he's really dead, he's dead!"
Lu Wu threw me against the wall, and she fell to the ground holding her head and screaming: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
"He died a year ago! This is something everyone knows!" I coughed hard, feeling great pain in my body. "Why are you crying? Why are you crying! There is no place where people will die in a war. Why are you crying! My daughter will die too. We're in the middle of a war!" I didn't know where the anger came from, so I cried and yelled at the top of my voice, "Why are you crying for a coward who committed suicide??!!"
Lu Wu banged her head against the wall crazily. Even though it was me who was talking, she banged her head against the wall and cursed her to shut up. She was truly a crazy and stupid woman!
Lu Wu didn't know how long she had been hitting the wall. I just saw that the gray wall had become much darker. She leaned against the wall with her eyes open, not knowing whether she was dead or alive.
I also cried for a long time, so long that I passed out.
(six)
I opened my eyes and it was dawn.
What came into view was a withered red wall, but Lu Wu could not be seen.
Where are the five Lu people? I quickly got up and looked for her. Where are Lu Wu?
I searched for it in the ruined temple for a long time but couldn't find it. After I left the ruined temple and searched around the suburbs, I couldn't find it.
She abandoned me, I thought. After asking for information, the person left. She really used me and threw me away.
But my body moved like it was out of my control. I shouted "Lu Wu" loudly and looked for him outside the city.
There is a river outside the city, and if you go further you will be out of the city. I thought it would be better to go back to the city to search first, but an old man by the river stopped me: "Hey! Was it you who was shouting for someone just now?"
I said yes and asked him what he wanted me to do.
He was holding a shoe in his hand and said that he had picked it up on the river bank today. He smiled and said that maybe someone jumped into the river last night.
I remember the style of that shoe very clearly. I bought it specially for Lu Wu a few days ago. She has only worn it for a few days.
I felt very regretful. If I had known better, I would not have spent that money to buy her shoes. It was a complete waste! Then I thought that luckily the money was kept with me and I didn't commit suicide by jumping into the water with her.
After thinking this way, for some reason, water dropped on my hand. When I looked up at the sky, it didn't rain. It was strange, strange.
