My name is Li Xiaotian. Before my sister was born, I was also a beloved child in my family. My parents doted on me and bought me all kinds of clothes and toys.
Until my sister was born, I went to the hospital and looked at my soft and waxy sister lying on the bed, and I couldn't help but think that my sister is really cute.
I cautiously reached out to touch my sister, but my mother stopped me loudly, "Li Xiaotian, how could you touch your sister without washing your hands!"
It was the first time my mother yelled at me. I stood there helplessly. My eyes were red and I wanted to defend myself, "I just, just wanted to touch my sister..."
My mother waved her hands irritably, but when she looked at her sister on the bed, she looked gentle.
I was stunned. My mother's expression used to be looking at me, but now she was looking at my sister.
I shook my head sadly and comforted myself: Mom was just in a bad mood, and she would get better after she was discharged from the hospital.
next few years
I taught my younger sister to walk. She fell down and cried while walking. My mother would always blame me, "Can't you help my sister?"
"Mom, I didn't"
I tried to defend myself, but my mother got angry, "You still dare to talk back, don't you?"
The grievance spread in my heart, and my eyes turned red, trying not to cry.
…
Later, every time my mother bought gifts, she only bought gifts from my sister. I stood in the distance and looked at the mother who once loved me the most, looking at other children with a smile on her face, and I felt very bitter in my heart.
I said, "Mom, can you also remember to bring me a gift?"
Mom replied perfunctorily, "I know, I'll remember it next time."
After saying that, he turned around and continued to tease his sister.
But later I didn’t wait for the gift from my mother.
…
My sister was naughty and used my homework paper to draw. I pushed her with red eyes.
My sister fell to the ground and cried loudly. My mother went to comfort her indiscriminately, and scolded me, "You are an older brother, how can you push my sister?"
My sister cried, and I also cried aggrievedly, "She drew on my homework paper, which was the homework I worked hard on during the summer vacation."
But my sister cried louder, and my mother’s attention was all on her, turning a blind eye to what I said.
…
These differential treatments made me red-eyed, and my temper became more and more silent.
My father was an alcoholic and often drank out until he became unconscious. When my sister was five years old, she hit someone with a car and died.
Our house was confiscated to pay high compensation, and the huge pressure almost crushed my mother. During that time, my mother beat and scolded me because I looked so similar to my father that my resemblance made her famous. Eyes, if it were not a legal obligation, she would have given me away.
I endured all of this silently.
The younger sister Li Xiaotao's personality is sometimes violent and sometimes well-behaved, but she likes to laugh. Her mother also likes her sister very much and often talks about "my baby girl".
Ever since her father passed away while driving drunk, her mother's heart has completely turned towards her sister.
I lowered my head and remained silent, but my eyes always looked at my sister with resentment.
My sister was diagnosed with brain cancer and bipolar disorder when she went to school. Her mother felt sorry for her and asked her to suspend school.
My sister started to become manic, getting angry for no apparent reason, throwing things, and even swearing loudly.
Even so, her mother still coaxed her sister and relied on her in everything.
Later, when the condition worsened, my mother began to restrict my sister from watching TV, going out, and playing with mobile phones. These would aggravate my sister's headache. In order to appease my sister, my mother would tell her a bedtime story every night.
Until that night, there were sounds of throwing things, knocking on the door, and scratching the corners of the wall from my sister's room. When my mother and I broke into my sister's bedroom, we were shocked to find that my sister was holding a piece of porcelain and was preparing to scratch her wrist with tears streaming down her face.
My sister said her head hurt so much that she wanted to die.
My mother's eyes turned red, blaming herself for being incompetent and could only watch her sister in pain.
That night, my mother came to me and said, "I talked to the doctor. Your sister's condition has worsened and she needs surgery. Our family doesn't have that much money. From tomorrow on, you don't have to go to school. You can work with me to earn money for your sister's treatment." fee."
What followed was a constant quarrel...
My eyes turned red and I looked at my mother with vicious eyes, "Why do you decide my life for me! My sister is a burden! Even if she undergoes surgery, there is a high chance that she will be paralyzed and become a vegetative state, and I don't want to bear the burden of treating my sister." It’s boring to live with debt like this, you know, mom?”
With a "pop" sound, my mother slapped me angrily and said fiercely, "That's your sister. It's your duty as an elder brother to save her! I'll drop out of school starting tomorrow. There's no need to discuss this matter!"
Resentment spread in my heart. Watching my mother slam the door and leave, the overwhelming resentment overwhelmed me, and a vicious thought slowly emerged in my mind.
In the following months, I would secretly add medicines that would aggravate my sister's condition into my sister's meals every time. I watched my sister's condition worsen and kept expecting her to die soon.
I would even trick my sister into sneaking out and letting her take the elevator alone, because my sister would get sick and irritated as long as she took the elevator.
My sister is very stupid and can fool her every time.
Just a week before my sister was going to have surgery, I couldn't sit still and gently coaxed my sister to take her to the amusement park.
I will never forget my sister’s expression that day. My sister agreed with a smile on her face.
When my sister is not sick, she is very quiet and will smile slightly when she looks at others. But if she has a headache, she will be unable to control her emotions and yell at the people around her.
But when I secretly took my sister out, she didn't get sick the whole time. She even smiled at me and reminded me, "Brother, if you have time, go to my room and look through my desk. There is a star bottle on it. You You can take a look.”
I nodded perfunctorily, and now I just wanted to get rid of this burden quickly. After arriving at the amusement park, I made an excuse to leave. After leaving my sister behind, my heart was not as relaxed as I imagined, but heavy with anxiety.
After wandering outside for several hours, I decided to go home.
Near home, pedestrians were stationed here talking about something, and the sound of ambulances and police cars echoed around.
I had a bad feeling in my heart. When I rushed out of the crowd and came to the ambulance, I saw blood on the ground...and my mother who collapsed and cried, and the bloody girl who was sent to the ambulance by the doctor on a bed frame. But the girl's dress was exactly what her sister was wearing.
My sister committed suicide by jumping off a building and chose to commit suicide on May 14th. Later, the police came to question me. I lowered my head and remained silent. The police just shook their heads and didn't say anything more. Instead, they took some from my sister's room. Something, go back and investigate your sister's movements this day.
Later, in the police station, my mother found out that I had taken my sister out. She beat and scolded me like crazy. The police stopped my mother, and I was kicked out of the house because of it. I spent that week I live in a police station. When the police look at me, they can't help but sigh and comfort me, "You didn't kill my sister. You don't have to blame yourself. I will help you explain to my mother."
A few days later, my mother was called by the police. I learned from the police that my sister had already prepared a suicide plan. Even if I didn't take my sister out, she would most likely commit suicide.
The police also handed my mother a notebook, which was written by my sister. My mother broke down and cried while looking at the notebook.
The policeman secretly pulled me aside and handed me a star bottle. He said to me, "My sister left this for you. You can open the small note inside and read it. I think this is very important to you." .”
I accepted the bottle of stars, but never opened it. After all, my sister had always hated him as an older brother. The small note inside might have been something to curse me.
The strange thing is that my mother has never beaten or scolded me since she read the diary. She also asked me to come back to live at home and insisted that I go to school and take the college entrance examination.
It's strange that I haven't read what's written in the diary because my mother hid the diary and wouldn't let me touch it.
But since the death of my sister, my mother's mental state has not been very good. She always says to herself, "It's all my fault. It's my inability, otherwise my daughter wouldn't have chosen to jump off the building."
"My daughter is dead, how could my daughter be dead?"
"It's me, it's all my fault..."
Later, I got admitted to a very good university as I wished. On the day I went to university, my mother also chose the same way of committing suicide as my sister.
I was the only one in the empty house. When I was packing up my mother's things, I found the diary written by my sister, and I learned all the truth.
My sister would have a splitting headache every night. She couldn't control her emotions and went crazy. She hid a lot of porcelain pieces and couldn't help but hurt herself every night in order to get relief.
Until she knew that I was forced to drop out of school by my mother and that there was a high chance that I would become a vegetative state after surgery, my sister made up her mind to commit suicide. She didn't want her family to be heartbroken after her death, so she pretended to be a bad boy.
But what she thinks of a bad boy is just saying "I hate you" to her mother, which is really stupid.
The diary is also filled with the words "I love my brother the most" and "I love my mother most". Every time I call my sister out to play, my sister is actually very happy. She thinks that I finally don't hate her.
In fact, my sister knows the road, but she always lies to me and says she doesn’t know the road, because she knows that if she says she knows the road, then my brother will not take her out to play.
Before her sister chose to commit suicide, she secretly bought a bouquet of carnations and placed them in her mother's room. Her mother cherished the flowers and took good care of them, but in the end the bouquet withered.
I was so exhausted and my mother was completely crazy.
The last sentence in the diary reads: I don’t want to be a burden to my mother and brother. I want them to live easily and freely. My departure is the best gift I can give to my family.
Until the end, I didn't dare to open the star bottle. It was because I didn't have the courage and I didn't dare.
After reading the diary, I cleaned myself up and jumped from the same position where my sister jumped off the building.
When I opened my eyes again, I came to another world and turned into a monster. My mother and sister were still alive, repeating the days before my sister died.
There is a rule in my mind that tells me that I must be hostile to my sister, just like I looked at my sister with hatred in my eyes before.
Later, I gradually forgot all the memories after my sister's death. Looking at the sister in front of me, he actually knew that she was not a real sister, but a human being called a "player".
And his existence is bound to this place, constantly playing out the drama of trying to kill his sister. If his sister dies, another sister will appear another day.
It wasn't until one day that Bai Yao appeared that I truly recognized my sister.
This sister is very nice to me. She is not as violent as before. She is really nice and nice.
Later, I took her to the amusement park and abandoned her. Before leaving, she gave me the star bottle. This time I finally had the courage to open the small note inside. It turned out... everything written in the small note was Words of blessing to yourself...
I regretted it. I searched the entire amusement park and couldn't find my sister.
Until on the way home, I saw my sister die in front of me.
At that moment all my memories came back, the power that bound me disappeared, and my mother disappeared from this world.
After going around and around, I was still the only one left...
