"Look, what harm can it do?" This kid is a mess. "
"You saw what he did to Whitman."
"He was desperate, and if we could get him to talk, it would go a lot smoother. Anything we could record."
"I'll go get him—"
"Tell him to call his friends."
"gentlemen?"
"A friendly face might do him good."
"It sounds like a broken record."
"Who is responsible again?"
"Yes, sir. Coming right up, sir."
"I saw."
dear mother,
Matt and I had to leave. We're not running away from home, so don't worry. You did nothing wrong. You are the best. But... something happened and we have to go. We may never come back.
I wish I could tell you it's nothing dangerous, but it probably is. Trust me, okay? This is a very, very important thing. I want to tell you but I
“Masasak
a
a volavus sel
a
a kele
dil. ” I swore under my breath. I wanted to comfort her, not send her into a blind panic.
"What's the matter?" Sara asked, leaning on my shoulder. I tried to crumple the letter, but she held out a hand to stop me. "God, your handwriting is terrible." "
In response, I turned the paper over and wrote a long list of elegant etolins—something so rude that I won't repeat it here.
"I'll take it as an insult." She frowned. "What do you want to write?"
"…"goodbye. "I said calmly.
Sarah hesitated and looked back at the stairs. Mom isn't home yet, and won't be back for at least a few hours. "Aren't you going to talk to her yourself?"
I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "I have no idea."
"Um?"
I glanced at the clock and saw we were well past midnight. But my mother is still not at home. The last time she ordered a drink was at 2:30 in the morning, and she had to stay a little longer for closing time. I used to stay up late waiting for her to come home, but I rarely made it that late. The next morning, the alarm clock rings in my ears, or sometimes with the sunrise, and I am magically back in my bed, cozy and cozy. On the few occasions I saw her, she always gave me a warm hug and then grounded me for staying up late.
"I feel like I'll never see her again"
"Because of what Matt said?" she asked. "About us leaving immediately?"
I shook my head. "I thought we were going to get kicked out of here. That call was so weird."
Sarah nodded, as confused as I was. Matt got a call half an hour ago. They called his home, he answered the phone and five minutes later he was in his truck. He promised to be home soon and let us start packing. I don't know why he said that. We can't take anything with us. Maybe it's just instinct.
I shuddered as the pieces clicked together in my mind, slowly unraveling the mystery one by one. There was another reason why I felt I would never see my mother again, a reason I didn't want to think about, a reason I didn't dare say out loud. But this is Sarah. I have to say something before it's too late. "But that's not all."
"Are you afraid to talk to her?"
“…Seka
a
a vack Have you always been so smart?" I asked doubtfully.
"Jen, it's okay," she said, clearly trying to comfort her. I felt worse, like I was running away from my problems again.
"I feel like I'm running away," I said, repeating myself. "Maybe I just gave up too easily. I was afraid she would talk me out of going. Got it? Do I have a point?"
"Yeah, that makes sense." Sarah shuddered too, which made me feel a lot better about myself, because she wasn't too happy about it either. "I feel the same way."
"what you do?"
"I just ran from home," she added with a wince. "I'm disappearing from this world, just to get away from my problems. I still think it's the right idea, but I'm going to be worried until we cross the river."
"Well, that's not really a step—"
She coughed. "That's not the point, Jane."
I glanced at her. She's sitting cross-legged on my bed, which is a stupid frilly bed covered with a mismatched dinosaur blanket, chosen more for warmth than because I like its design. At least it's comfortable. What's more, Sarah's eyes were fierce and her expression was firm and determined.
"I'll never know if it was the right thing to do," she continued. I just knew something had to change. I was given an opportunity that no one else had, and I got to share it with my best friend. This is not an adventure. I want to start over. Good or bad, I have to accept it. "As she spoke, the confidence in her voice increased every word. Finally, I was convinced.
"I'm so glad you're coming with me," I said, and her face lit up like the sun suddenly shining into my room.
"You need to teach me some Etoli
e," she added with a smile. "I can't wait to meet Neferin. "
"You two are going to get along just fine," I said, feeling much more cheerful and comfortable than before. "Oh, there are so many things I can't wait to show you. And my sunshine. It's so beautiful up there."
When I started describing it in detail, Sarah just smiled. It's truly a pretty magical place, but I won't bore you with the details. To be honest, it's really no different than most other forests - although the trees are older, bigger, and we've built homes in the upper levels beneath the canopy, which magically lights up the crops to provide food when hunting is scarce of fields. Well, it was different, but none of that mattered compared to seeing my best friend's reaction to it. She was so excited and optimistic that she recorded every detail like a thirsty woman in the desert drinking water.
At the same time, I felt accepted. Unlike when I first told her all this, and our conversations always teetered on the edge of regret, loss, and pain, I could actually speak openly and honestly. enthusiasm. I didn't just tell her memories and dance around the problems; instead, I gave her visions of things to come. She can share new experiences. I gave her hope, and in return, I was filled with hope myself. Everything I remember makes the world a brighter place.
I'm sure we could have talked for hours, but the responsibility came back and beat me over the head. I kept telling her how we were in different su
As syls (flying squirrels that have been carefully bred and magically trained, no joke) write letters to each other, I suddenly remembered the crumpled note on the table behind me. I slowly turned around and picked it up.
"...Do you still want to write to her?" Sara asked.
"I have to," I said quietly. "She's my mother. I can't just disappear. Even if I say goodbye to her in person, she deserves more explanations."
"what do you want to say?"
I shook my head. "I still don't know."
She sighed. "I'm sorry, I can't be of much help."
"It's okay." I leaned over and took out a new piece of paper from the drawer, then picked up a pen and started writing on it. Behind me, I heard Sarah trying to stifle a yawn. I don’t know why—maybe it was exhaustion, or just a ridiculously big yawn in my head that engulfed her face—but I giggled. I couldn't help it, and it soon turned into a fit of laughter.
"What?" she asked angrily.
"Nothing," I choked. I forced myself to calm down. "I'm sorry. You should take a nap."
"but I- - -"
"I promise I won't leave you alone." I said with a silly smile. "Besides, maybe someone should get some sleep. Matt and I definitely don't."
"Okay," she said, yawning again. "You don't mind if I use-"
"How many times have I slept in your bed?" I turned my head and raised my eyebrows as high as possible.
"Fair enough," she grinned, pulling up the nearest blanket. "Wake me up if something happens?"
"Duh".
After a few minutes, I heard her breathing steady and I knew she had fallen into a crazy dream. Sarah slept soundly. No matter how loud it was, I couldn't wake her up with my voice. She only wakes up when I shake the bed, or tap her face or something.
I took out my phone and turned on the music. Anything to keep me focused. I picked up the pen again and tried to write. I was hoping for something more reassuring this time. Also, something mom can read.
Mother,
You're probably wondering why we're acting so weird these days. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to explain. We both wanted to but just couldn't. We are not in any danger and we are not breaking any laws. But we have to go now and probably won't come back. I wish you could come with us, but that's not possible.
We have to move out eventually, right? Matt will come with me, so there's nothing to worry about. We'll be fine. You taught us to take care of ourselves, so we are ready. But we are going to a place far away, and we may never be able to talk again. But I swear, if there is a way, I will be the first to call you.
I have a lot to say and I wish I could say it in person, but I don't know
Too sentimental. That doesn't feel like me. I balled it up and threw it in the bin next to my desk, along with the first one. The street lights outside my window cast a faint amber color on my curtains, and I saw the shadow of a bug flit across the curtains like a giant monster. I'd seen something similar before, on the pass to Old Drinan - only it was a small beetle, not a real monster. I tried comparing this idea to my current situation, but I got nowhere. Not everything ends up making for a cool symbolic comparison.
I leaned back again, rubbing my eyes and almost toppling over in my chair. My sleep is still terrible, although I'm getting used to it little by little. As long as I don't have to do anything super physical, I can handle it. Somehow I was sure that once I found my way home to my sun cabin, I would sleep more soundly than ever.
Speaking of sleeping soundly, Sara was sound asleep. I smiled seeing her wrapped up in my cheap dinosaur blanket, completely at peace. I was glad she was able to get some sleep after the events of the day - she felt safe and comfortable enough to let her guard down with me. It says more about our friendship than any words can and for someone as insecure and uncertain as me? it means a lot to me.
The promise we made came back to me. I let the chair hit the floor with a thud, leaned back and grabbed another piece of paper. Same as before, same agonizing over Sarah. Why can't I say what I really want to say? Why do I feel like I have to lie? Mom deserves to know. I will never come back. I'll tell her everything I know.
Thank you, Sarah.
hey mom,
Here's the thing. It sounds crazy, but I swear to you it's absolutely true. No jokes.
Matt and I went to another world. Through magic. And, magic is real. Funny thing is, I use it too. Cool, right?
But seriously. It's not all fun and games. There are people injured. People die. We've fought and nearly died ourselves, many times. I tell you this because you should know what we went through and what we are coming back to.
Yes, we went back. Sorry, but we have to do it. We were gone for over seven years, but because of magical timing, we came back exactly the same. It's just... we are different. I don’t even know who I am on earth anymore. Seven years is a long time. Especially when you spend time with people who aren't quite human.
I'm not sure if I'm truly human anymore. I'll probably live longer than you or anyone else, but I'm still a little scared. I mean, I won't be alone, which also means I never have to worry about getting sick or anything like that, but it's still crazy and hard for me to accept. But I think it's pretty cool. I don't know. Still thinking of a solution.
You may be thinking what you did wrong. Maybe you're not, I don't know. I've never been a mother, and I'm not sure I ever will. But you did nothing wrong. Believe me. You raised us better than you could ever imagine. Seriously, Matt is awesome. You'll be proud of his accomplishments. He saved thousands of lives. Literally thousands. Now he wants to go back and make sure they stay alive. He is a good man and a good brother. So it’s either/or, right?
Haha, yeah, I know. Bad joke.
Mom, Matt and I all thought it would be best for everyone. I hope you can understand. Most importantly, you can't tell anyone where we went. Best case scenario, people will think you're crazy. Worst case scenario? They actually believe you. You know what people would do to get in touch with magic? Because I do. I've seen it with my own eyes, it can turn anyone into a monster. I lost friends this way.
I'm sorry to do this, but I also want to ask you to do me a favor. Matt and I wouldn't go alone. Sarah goes with us.
She asked me not to tell anyone why, and I promised I wouldn't. Believe me, it would be best for her to stay away from this world. Her disappearance was not as easy to hide as it was for Matt and me. It's hard, but you have to protect her just like you protect us. Sarah really needs this.
It's stupid and horrible and selfish and I'm sorry. When I ran away without even saying goodbye, I begged you to do the same. Well, I guess this letter is a farewell, but you know what I mean. I'm sorry, Mom.
I will miss you and I will always remember you, even if I live to be nine hundred and seven. If I find a way to get back to you, you will be the first person I contact. I promise.
I love you mom.
I cried at the end of the letter, but I had decided this was what I needed to write. I had to take a few breaks to make sure I was spelling correctly and painstakingly make sure the handwriting was good enough. I didn't want it to look bad if it was the last thing I could tell her. I had made up my mind that I couldn't face her. Maybe that was cowardice, but I knew in my heart that I couldn't say goodbye in person. Hate me if you want to.
At the bottom of the letter, I signed two names. Once in Italian and once in English, I tried to get as close to the original pronunciation as possible.
Je
ife
velae
a
a
alaev seldemovi.
Jennifer from Silverdale.
This was his full name, spoken only twice; once by Tate Varun when I asked him his name, and again during the adoption ceremony of Varun Sildari. . The letter was blunt, embarrassing, and too long, but I treasure it very much. It's a part of me like nothing else. This proves that I have found the place where I belong and the people who belong to me.
I started rolling the paper up and then I remembered that I didn't actually need to tie it around the squirrel's leg this time. I rummaged through my desk and found an envelope. I found a few, but they were either too bright and full of glitter, or they were wrinkled and messy. stupid. I glanced at Sarah, who was still sleeping soundly, and grinned. She would laugh at me about it and insist that I find the perfect envelope for the runaway letter.
I took the letter downstairs to find an envelope—or something, really, that I could seal. I'm not that picky. I just need to know that it's safe, will be noticed, and she'll read it in the morning. Long after we were gone.
How could Sarah still be sleeping right now? Even though I hadn't had such a hard time falling asleep lately, the anticipation in my belly was overwhelming. Maybe it was because I was the one who really had to get us across the plane, but there was no way I could stay still. I feel like something big is about to happen, but I'm still not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing - just that it can't be any worse than being here.
Just as I was putting the letter into a plain white envelope with the word "Mom" scrawled on the front, I heard my phone ring. To call the impression I got "defining" would be a gross understatement. My phone rang at two in the morning, on this night? It had to be something earth-shattering.
I picked it up. I don't recognize this number. Who would call me now? Do I often talk to friends late at night? I can’t remember, but I suspect it. If there's anyone I can see myself talking to after midnight, it's my best friend sleeping in the bed above me.
I turned on my phone and raised it to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Jane?" His voice trembled.
"Karl? - - - - - - -"
"I need your help."
＊＊＊
I shook Sarah awake and explained to her as briefly as possible where I was going and how long it would take. She nodded sleepily at me and fell back onto the bed. I left her a note on the table just in case, but I planned to be back before she woke up.
I grabbed my bicycle, rushed into the night, pedaled as hard as I could, and walked to the police station in the rain. Carl’s words still echo in my ears. Are they going to take him away? Put him in a mental hospital or something?
In the end what happened?
Is this where Matt ran to? Maybe he was already there. Yes, that's for sure. Matt is there, trying to figure out how to save Carl. I have to check it out too. I supported him, vouched for him and all that. I didn't know what I could do, but with the sound of Carl's voice on the phone, I couldn't just stay home.
I was shaky on the bike at first, but quickly recovered. The streets were completely deserted and I booked my way through the intersection, completely ignoring the traffic lights. In the hazy rain, streetlights flickered above me and I was practically flying across the asphalt. I felt like I was going a million miles an hour—but it wasn't fast enough.
I didn't see a single car along the way. It was quiet outside, except for a faint drizzle. Even the entire world seems to be anticipating what will happen next. When I got there I didn't know what to expect. Carr did not elaborate. All he asked was that I come quickly before they took him away.
He was scared.
Hearing Carl-Carl of all people admit that he was scared sent a shiver down my spine, back, arms and legs. Whatever part of me, pick it out, I freak out. Carl was too stubborn to ever speak the sounds of fear out loud, but I heard it, even through the hiss and crackle of my own crappy phone. He was really scared and desperate. I had no choice but to rush down.
Have you ever been to a police station at night? They have a weird feeling when the sun goes down. I mean, I'd never been there before, but I'd watched a lot of TV shows and had a vague idea of what to expect. I don't believe that cop movies are accurate, but I think there must be some truth in them, right?
Well, here's the thing: at night, you're now dealing with police officers who really don't want to be bothered, even less than usual. Especially if they don’t work regular shifts. Everything here seems hostile. I noticed this when I was putting my bike on the rack outside because a police officer came up to me and gave me a look like I'd just kicked his dog or something. I tried to look innocent and non-threatening and walked through the door.
Soon he bumped into Matt.
This explained where he had been running off to. If he had rushed out to talk to Carl, he might have been as panicked as I had just been in lightning speed. Matt didn't look alarmed at all, but still.
Wait, what the hell was I thinking? If Matt is here and he's leaving, why is Carl calling me?
oh.
Oh god no.
"Jen?" he asked, his voice sounding very calm.
This is all wrong.
"Matt, why-"
He put a finger to his mouth and motioned me to a small waiting area outside the station office. I saw several groups of abandoned tables inside, under dim chandeliers, and only one bright room with light coming from the other end of the building. As my eyes adjusted, I saw the door open slightly, leading to what was undoubtedly an interrogation room.
I followed Matt into our little corner, under the lazy watch of the officer on duty at the front desk. After a while he returned to the paper with less interest, which gave us enough private space to talk. Once we were seated in the uncomfortable chairs in the corner, Matt finally removed his fingers from his mouth.
I was so eager to break the silence. "What the hell is going on?" I whispered.
"I was going to ask you the same question," he said, raising his eyebrows. "Why are you here?"
Carl called me. Come and help. "
Matt shook his head. "He really shouldn't have done that."
"Why not, Matt?" I tried to keep my voice low. "He's our friend, isn't he?"
"Look where we are!" he hissed. "Carl went too far. He assaulted someone."
What did Carl do again? "...who?"
"I don't know. Some guy. Daniel Whitman. I don't know who he is. Do you?"
I shook my head. "I've never heard of him."
Apparently, Carl beat him half to death. The guy went into the hospital and they said they were sending Carl away. "
"prison?"
"Spiritual Care".
I shudder. The thought of being locked up in a white, padded cell popped into my head. I know Carl hates this as much as I do.
"Look, I know this sounds-" Matt started.
I shook my head to interrupt him. I don’t need any more images in my head. I need to take action. "what should we do?"
Matt sighed, and I saw a look in his eyes that I hadn't seen in a while. A soul-crushing burden lurking in his dark gaze, my brother once again carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He made a terrible decision right before my eyes, feeling like he had no better options, only better or worse.
He was about to make the wrong choice. I knew his decision before he said it. I already hate him for what he hasn't said yet.
"Bah!" I roared. I almost stood up, but his hand caught my shoulder. He forced me to sit down and listen quietly. I struggled for a moment before I remembered that making a fuss wouldn't do Carl any good. I let him talk, even though my head was pounding and my blood was boiling.
"We couldn't help him, Jean. No matter what we said, Carl almost killed him, with his bare hands. He knew how to inflict maximum pain and damage. He's done it before, we've all seen it. We must deny it. Everything. We didn’t even consider him a friend and didn’t know there was such a thing.”
"but--"
Matt's calm, confident voice overwhelmed my chance to speak. "They're going to take him away, and maybe that's the best outcome. He's going to get some real help. He's not going to jail, he's going to a care facility where they're going to try to help him."
Oh my gosh, Matt, do you believe what you're saying? Is all the bullshit you're saying true? Or are you trying to ditch Carl to save yourself?
Matt, did you abandon him to go back?
I felt my stomach churn. If I hadn't been as aggressive as I'd been taught to squeeze it out, I might have puked on his shirt. Nothing makes me throw up anymore, but this? This is so gross. scary. Too bad.
I'm still going to let him get away with it.
I saw it coming. I made it happen. I heard Matt ask me to confirm and I nodded. My face and hands were numb. I felt my mind shrinking in on itself, like I was withdrawing from the world again. I know this feeling. I'm afraid it will come back. It's a survival instinct, a way of escaping one's own actions.
Matt stood up and held out his hand. I took it, even though I felt nothing. Even though my brother helped me so much, he was still as hard as ice. I followed him back to the hall and waited quietly for the door opposite to open.
I never have to ask again. I understand why Matt chose to do this. I understand why I support him.
I still hate every moment of it. Hate myself, hate him, hate everything.
Carl is a mess. His eyes were swollen from tears and his hands were bandaged and dripping with blood. I saw bruises on his face. He was handcuffed and pushed forward by a private guard. Behind Carl, I saw two detectives who had been to our house, and when they saw me, a look of recognition crossed one of their faces.
To hell with that, Matt.
Carl crossed the room. The guard walked away, and so did Matt, giving Carl and me a little privacy. Amid the hum of fans and machines, I was relatively sure we wouldn't be overheard, but I couldn't take any chances.
"Hi, Jean," he murmured. I could barely hear what he said.
"Hi."
"I'm sorry for letting you see me like this." He smiled at me.
"Could be worse," I said. Is it appropriate to joke? How would I know? What do you say to a friend you may be seeing for the last time, when you lie to him and prepare to throw him to the wolves while you run for your life?
"Jen, you have to tell them."
"Tell them what?"
"Everything. What we go through. Who we are. That's the only way to explain everything I do."
"Oh, Carl..." I whispered.
"I know. I have to go. But I'm not crazy. We're not crazy. You have to explain."
I shook my head, knowing it was a blow to his heart. He bent his knees and opened his eyes wide.
"Please Jane. I can't be taken away. I'll never see you again." Carl's voice rose, before our voices had been just a whisper.
"Carl, I'm sorry." My voice almost broke, but I held on. I had to hold back. I can't show any vulnerability. I have to be strong.
Just one crack and I'll be shattered into pieces.
"No, please. Don't say you're sorry. Tell them."
Oh stars. please. If you could give me a blessing. Anything is fine. This is the moment. Give me determination, give me courage, give me something.
Star didn't answer. They may never answer me again. I don't think they're very friendly towards traitors.
I continued in silence, and Carl's eyes opened wider. He raised his hands, still handcuffed and chained. I saw the blood on the bandage up close and deliberately backed away. I have to act scared, or be disgusted, or do whatever I need to do. I couldn't follow my instincts and try to comfort him and heal him. I can't get close to him.
He took a step forward. The guards immediately came to him and pulled him back.
"Jane, please! Talk to them!" Carl blurted out. There are no more disguised secrets. "Tell them about Seraville! About the world! You're an elf for God's sake! Matt took over an empire! Explain it! Matt?" Carl's head turned, trying to find A new ally, because his closest friend had just abandoned him without a word. I looked over, too, watching Matt's reaction.
"...Carl, none of this is true. I don't know what you are talking about." Matt's answer was so calm and natural. I believed every word he said. Everyone in the room would believe him. He looked like a concerned bystander.
Carl struggled against his restraints. The guards pulled him out of the room and he started screaming for help, begging for anything to save him.
Of course, that meant it was my turn. The world goes into slow motion, when you know something terrible is about to happen, you can see it from miles away, but there's nothing you can do about it.
I'm not helpless, though - because the terrible thing that's about to happen is me.
Carl stopped the guards from dragging him away. He stared into my eyes from across the room. I felt my heart become as hard as ice in my chest, preparing for the worst. My hands flew to my mouth as if I could stop his next one. As if nothing could prevent what happened next.
"Jen, you were there. You know. The Silvers, Jen. Everything. We were together, Jen. You and me. I saved you, remember?" Carl was rambling now, trying to keep his composure. .
I shook my head again. Tears wanted to flow from my eyes, but I didn't let them. I refused to let myself cry. Power, I told myself. I have to get through it. I stared straight at Carl, everything else in the world still in place, and opened my mouth.
"I'm sorry, Carl. I don't know what you're talking about." His face fell, and my heart sank with it. But I got through it, right? Carl would be taken away and I would be free again - because it would do me so much good. This night will be etched in my mind forever. I already know. I will never forget what we did.
Then I heard his voice again from across the room, shouting in perfect rhythm and perfect enunciation. It was as if he was carrying it just for me.
"My heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart."
My heart is broken. I was almost at a loss. Almost completely overcome. I had to fight against a torrent of emotions that engulfed every sense in my body before I could manage to utter four simple words.
Those four words would ultimately condemn him.
"Carl, you need help."
His eyes, which just moments before had been filled with hope, love, and the promise of a life together, were now empty. There is a complete despair, no feeling at all, and there is no one in my heart. He collapsed into the guard's arms and was slowly dragged back to the interrogation room. The two detectives gave us another curious look, then followed him inside and the door slammed shut.
I felt Matt's hand on my shoulder again. It's like he turned on the faucet. Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned to flee the building. Every step I took took me further away from the man I had just sent into nightmares, all in an effort to save myself.
The rain started again, heavier than before, and I welcomed it happily. I fumbled my way back onto the bike and started pedaling. Maybe it would wash away the guilt and pain that is now engulfing me, but I doubt it. Of course, I am forever damned.
＊＊＊
When I got home, Matt and Sara were waiting for me in the garage. Matt held up the envelope I had left on the kitchen table. I stopped silently and carefully put the bike back on its original stand. Sarah looked on grimly, but Matt wore a mask that made it difficult to see. Has he always seemed so distant and scary to me? Is this a new side of him, or a side that I've been pretending doesn't exist?
I'm done crying. I knew there was nothing more I could do. Instead, I’m making a new choice—one that’s equally important to our future.
Sarah spoke first, cautiously and hesitantly. "everything fine?"
Of course, Matt didn't tell her. I didn't answer her right away. I turned to my brother and stared at him with all the determination I had. I had to know immediately what kind of person he was. The person I want to bring back to my world is actually beneath the surface.
"Matt, did we do everything we could for him?"
Matt opened his mouth to answer and I raised my hand. I knew what he was going to say, but I couldn't let him say it. I already knew what the answer was and it made me feel absolutely sick. But I've made my choice. If I confronted him, if I cut him off because of what he did tonight, our lives would fall apart. There is only one way forward, and that is unity. I need him and he needs me. If we were to return to Sierraville, there was no way we would survive unless we were on the same side again - no matter how disgusting that was.
Without saying a word, I stepped forward and held Sarah's hand. I led her around the other side of the truck and into the car, purposely placing myself between Matt and my best friend. After she came in, I closed the door. I watched as Matt carefully placed the letter on the garage door, tucked it into the doorknob, and turned off the lights one by one.
He got in, turned the key, and backed the car into the driveway. The garage door closed in our faces, closing in on my old house for the last time.
I wrapped my fingers tightly around Sarah's and kept my eyes on the road ahead. As we emerged from the first exit, I turned and looked back toward the back of the cabin, through the gaps in the rain clouds, up at the barely visible stars, and I prayed.
Maybe I'm destined to regret this for the rest of my life. Maybe I should have told Carl before talking to Matt. Maybe I shouldn't have volunteered for the war. Maybe I shouldn't have left my cozy little place in the tree. Maybe I shouldn't have begged Matt to take me to see Blake's discovery that night.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. My life is always full of possibilities. I hate it. I'm done. I want to get off this damn planet.
I returned to my own world, where I would carry this knowledge and guilt with me for the rest of my long life. There, I may never fully trust my brother again, even if he and I live side by side for years to come, with a smile on my face and a laugh on my lips, pretending we are a team.
You probably hate me a little bit, right? Or you're sympathetic. damn it. I do not deserve. Leave it to Sarah, or Carl, or someone else. I'm just one in a long line of neurotic people, but I put myself out there. This is what I did to myself. I have to find a way to escape on my own.
When we drove away from the main road, the lights flashed, and the sign of the Slavier Park flashed in front of us. I felt my hand was pinched a bit, and in the end, I gave myself a little hope. I still have Sarah, and myself.
There are some magic in the world, if I do n’t use it, it ’s finished.
It's time to go home.
