I often wonder whether I am an independent person who can run my brain and make correct judgments and choices without being interfered by anyone, anything, or any factor other than self-awareness.
Of course, humans are social animals and must abide by the laws of society and obtain limited freedom within the scope of law and morality. This limited freedom includes both physical and mental freedom.
However, I found that I was not free and had nothing to do with morality, law and society.
We can't imagine things we haven't seen before, we can't understand concepts that are too abstract, we can't remember what we should remember, but we can't forget what we want to forget.
The brain never works as well as we think. It is often disobedient, and strange thoughts pop up from time to time, influencing us to make incredible right or wrong choices.
You decide to go to bed early today, but before turning off the lights, there is always something dragging you and scratching your nerves. Then you browse your phone and taste the chicken soup that only self-discipline can lead to success. You decide to apply for a fitness card tomorrow. The next day But he stayed in bed and didn’t want to get up;
You were just thirsty and went to buy a bottle of drink, but when you came out of the supermarket, you picked up a bottle of discounted red wine and a box of Durex;
You were driving and listening to music, and you had to wait for a long red light ahead. A harassing call came in on your mobile phone. After you hung up, you suddenly remembered an old friend you hadn't contacted for more than ten years, so you stepped on the accelerator and drove to the hot pot restaurant. A person ate a delicious meal of sheep and scorpion...
What makes us make these strange decisions? Who controls our brains and thoughts?
Someone told me: If you want absolute freedom, just dream!
I did, starting at the age of three. But I know that dreams are less free than reality.
In the dream, I was just an observer, like watching a movie starring myself. I am me, the me in the dream is another me, and that other me is indeed me. As a person who has experienced the plot, I want to cry out and I want to change. But as a spectator, there was nothing I could do, not even popcorn was allowed in this weird cinema.
I want to say that I want to be a screenwriter, not an actor.
So I became a screenwriter. I create the script, select the actors, and direct the plot of the dream. I could see whoever I wanted and do whatever I wanted. I thought I had found a free world.
They told me it was called lucid dreaming.
However, freedom is not so easy to obtain. The price of lucid dreaming is mental breakdown, malaise, depression, split consciousness, and inability to distinguish between reality and dreams.
The price of freedom is to give up everything you have in reality and go towards nothingness. Just like the ancient immortals, they have to stay away from the world of mortals. The emperor's pursuit of immortality was ultimately unsuccessful.
The above are probably some of the earliest ideas for writing this book.
Originally I just wanted to write something about dreams and reality. I also posted some on my blog and thought about compiling them into a collection and publishing them, but because I was busy with work, I didn’t follow up on them.
Last year, the company ran into problems. The partners fell into a financial scam, all the employees left, and the company ceased operations. I was idle at home and found that after so many years of hard work, I had nothing left. All that was left were some strange ideas in my mind. Then, an idea came out of nowhere: write it and post it online.
I feel like my brain is being commanded again, inexplicably.
Then came the difficult journey of publishing the book. Okay, I won’t go into that. Anyway, it’s not easy for such a niche book to be introduced to everyone.
I have decided to throw myself into the street. I have already written this and have already recognized this reality. I think back to those ideas when I first published the book. They were ridiculous and cute. I also added some so-called elements of the Internet specifically to cater to the Internet. Now it seems that it is superfluous. Recently, we encountered the Qidian self-examination crisis, a fire broke out at the city gate, and the fish in the pond were affected. I am probably the most innocent and inconspicuous little fish. I planned to take this opportunity to overhaul it, but suddenly I found that the foreshadowing was buried so deep that it was difficult to change it. It was really nerve-wracking.
For example, the early scene of drinking in a bar and rescuing people in a hot spring resort. This is probably the only plot in the book that has nothing to do with the main plot. It could have been deleted originally, but I always felt it was awkward, so I deepened these supporting roles, so there are Later, there was a line about the Jiang family's brotherhood and Hou Biao, and in the latest film, Hou Biao is already a very important character. If we want to change the previous ones, the plot design will be too difficult.
I have been idle for more than a year. In addition to writing, I just read and sort out some folklore and miscellaneous essays for examinations. This is also my hobby. But when he was on the street and his family had no food left, the pressure of life became more and more intense. As a result, there were more and more trivial matters, and chapters were blocked, and I was unable to modify them, so I became overwhelmed and often wanted to give up.
Yesterday, the third Silver Alliance suddenly appeared. It was a bit unexpected, a bit pleasant, and a bit at a loss. Whenever I almost couldn’t hold on anymore, there were always some lovely readers who encouraged me in various ways to make me unable to give up.
I don’t remember an article written by a writer who said that they wrote until they had no food to eat at that time, but looking at the thick stack of letters from readers, I also got the mental motivation to continue working at my desk, even if I was hungry, Northwest The wind roared in through the holes in the window and knocked him down.
When I was in school, there was a text called "Who is the Cutest Person?" I think for an author, the reader is probably the cutest person.
Although there are not many readers of "Dream Guide", they are all very cute. I have never seen you, but I seem to be able to see your faces, fresh and vivid, shaking in front of my eyes, smiling and saying to me, keep writing, we are all watching!
A former old employee came to me and said, Mr. *, if the company still wants to do something about it, why don't you raise a flag and we will all be willing to follow you? I said, let's see after a while. I still have some things on hand that I haven't finished yet.
A former client said while drinking tea together, Mr. *, why don't you come work with me? I will never let you suffer. Then he mentioned a very tempting salary number. I said, let's see after a while. I still have some things on hand that I haven't finished yet.
The latest volume of the book, Mortal Freedom, roughly what I want to say is in this volume. All the foreshadowing and foreshadowing are for the last things I want to say, which are actually useless to say the truth. But I suddenly felt it was difficult to write.
What is freedom? The universe is full of rules, and rules are used to bind us. There is no freedom in the universe.
Whether it's a tragedy or a comedy, whether it's complete or unfinished, in short, let's finish it slowly. I will also try to revise the parts that are bloated and snake-footed at the beginning.
There may be a little white space left, and the universe is also full of white space. Precisely because it is not a dead mass, it gives us space for imagination and seemingly freedom.
After talking nonsense again, I finally thanked the Silver Alliance of Jiangnannan. Ah, after three Silver Alliances, he is still a deadbeat. Qidian and I are probably not in the same space-time frequency band.
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