Le Mao couldn't open his eyes, as if there was a big sun burning in front of him. But the burning pain couldn't suppress his desire to smoke. It was like a bug was biting him in his heart, brain, and blood vessels. This kind of sadness was a thousand times more painful than a burn.
"Burn me! Burn me to death! Give me a sip, just one sip!" he shouted.
He heard someone ask, "Just one puff?"
He nodded quickly: "One bite, just one bite!"
The man said: "Climb out and give you a sip!"
He opened his eyes and saw that he was in an iron house with a small hole in the corner. He lay down and took a look, and saw white powder piled up like a hill outside the cave. Groups of rats crawled through the powder pile, squeaking excitedly.
His heart was surging, and he felt that life was ignited with hope.
However, the hole is so small that only cats and dogs can get through it.
He anxiously walked around the room, touching every brick on every wall, trying to find an exit.
There has to be a door, right? He thought, how else could he get in?
"There's no need to look for it. You are a sinful person. There is no way out of a sinful heart like yours." He heard the man say.
He didn't know why, but he felt that this man was right. He admitted his guilt and he was willing to accept the punishment. But before that, he just wanted to take a sip. As long as he takes one more breath, he is willing to go to jail or die.
He looked at the low dog hole again.
The voice sounded again: "Come over here, you can suck as much as you want!"
The temptation of the white powder was too great, so he tried to drill his head into the hole. The entrance to the hole was uneven and there were many sharp iron nails, which made his head hurt.
He withdrew and touched the surrounding walls again.
This time, he found a door in one of the walls.
He laughed loudly: "There is a door here! Haha, there is a door here!"
He pushed the door open hard, and a strong gust of wind blew in, making him stagger. He walked out the door with misty eyes. When he reached the door, he suddenly stopped.
Outside the door is an abyss. The wind roared like a tiger, swirling in the abyss beneath our feet.
"Jump down, jump down and you'll be free!" said the voice.
Jump? Still not jumping?
Le Mao hesitated.
He wants to be free. Jump down and you'll be free!
But... he turned his attention to the small hole - outside the hole was paradise - a paradise for addicts!
He stepped back and closed the door.
The wind stopped and his heart pounded.
He doesn't want to die yet. He wanted to take a breath, even if he died, he would take a breath before he died.
He returned to the small hole and tried to put his head inside.
This time, the head went in.
The hole was stretched open by his head as if it were elastic.
He felt that his head had passed, and he wanted to lift it up to take a look, but he couldn't. He was surrounded by pressure like a tight rubber band.
Maybe the wall was a little thick and the hole was a little deep. Before his head could get through, his body had already gotten in.
The pressure around him was getting bigger and bigger, wrapping him up like a cocoon. He became a chrysalis in a cocoon.
The inside of the hole was sticky and a little moist. He crawled forward with difficulty, as if going against the direction of his birth, and returned to his mother's body.
Over the years, what has been added to the body through eating and drinking is slowly being squeezed out. His blood, brain plasma, and bone marrow all flowed out of his seven orifices.
He was in so much pain!
From this pain, he imagined the pain his mother suffered when giving birth to him. These two kinds of pain are dependent on each other, one is the tension and the other is the pressure.
When a person is born, his mother suffers.
It's just that people pay more attention to the joy brought by a new life and ignore the pain of the person who gave birth to the new life. Moreover, in the face of a great emotion called maternal love, any suffering is not worth mentioning.
Le Mao inexplicably thought of his mother - the woman who eventually died on the opium bed.
Le Mao still remembers the last words she said before she died: "Don't touch the smoke!"
Now, do you want to return everything to your mother?
The painful feeling is slowly disappearing. The air in his lungs has been completely squeezed out, and only a small heart is left, which does not need to beat because there is no blood.
Suddenly, his body relaxed and the pressure from the outside world disappeared. He floated up, surrounded by a pale yellow transparent liquid that made people feel warm.
He couldn't open his eyes and couldn't see anything. But he could feel his presence - he was a baby - curled up in his mother's belly.
How comfortable!
What a big smoke! What morphine! Nothing matters anymore!
If he could live his life over again, he would never touch these things!
But can life really come back?
When he thought about this problem, a light suddenly flashed in the darkness.
He opened his eyes and saw that he was tied to the familiar pillar of the West House. Except for his head, he could not move his body.
Opposite him stood a man with messy hair, holding a bowl of hot porridge.
The man stepped forward and helped him untie the rope.
Just now, he was still struggling desperately, trying to escape from here. But now, without the rope, he seemed to have lost all his strength, and his body suddenly collapsed. If his back hadn't been leaning against the pillar, he might have fallen.
"Why do you smoke?" asked the man holding the porridge.
Le Mao leaned on the pillar and panted, staring blankly at the roof, as if recalling his life.
"I was just curious at first. I saw everyone was smoking, so I took a sip. It was just one sip, and I felt good immediately after taking it! You can also feel good doing other things, but it doesn't come as quickly or easily as it does."
"For example, if you have sex with a woman, it will be very enjoyable. But it takes a lot of time and energy to start doing it, but smoking is different. You can get the same amount of happiness just by taking a puff. I was I just thought, what kind of girl will I have to work hard to seduce in the future? I can just smoke big cigarettes."
"Later, after I smoked a few times, the feeling of happiness was no longer obvious. Every time I finished smoking, I felt extremely guilty and said I would stop smoking. But I became stuffy and had nightmares all day long. , eyes narrowed. At that time, I really missed the feeling of smoking for the first time. I can never forget that feeling that was sweeter and more refreshing than first love. I said, why not do it again, the last time... …for the last time!”
"Later on, I became more and more uncomfortable, and there was no comfortable bone in my body. What should I do? Taking medicine didn't help, so I had to continue to smoke. I took a breath when I was tired, took a breath when I was sleepy, and took a breath when my waist hurt. Take a breath when your legs hurt, take a breath when you go to work in the fields, take a breath when making pickles..."
Le Mao twitched his nose as he spoke.
"Then do you still want to smoke now?" Aoki held the bowl in one hand, took out the cigarette from his pocket with the other, held it in his mouth, and lit it with a lighter.
The white smoke quickly dispersed and filled the dark room.
Le Mao's breathing became rapid, and his chest heaved. He swallowed a large mouthful of saliva, his Adam's apple twitching on his slender neck, and said cautiously: "I... take a sip?... One sip, just one sip!"
He raised a finger to his chest.
Aoki nodded, turned his hand and rubbed a bowl of hot porridge on Le Mao's face.
