Hashimoto Nana read this paragraph quietly, and after a long time she laughed softly and murmured to herself: "I can't believe that Baiyun-san has such a good memory. Whatever he said casually was... Can I remember it so clearly——"
"Why do you remember it so clearly? What is there to remember?"
She smiled self-deprecatingly, but felt that her smile was a little bitter, and her vision gradually became blurred.
Yes, what is there to remember? I just mentioned it casually. Whether I am sad or not, and whether I am lonely or not is just my one-sided feeling.
What's the point?
The girl under the light was alone, as if a gust of wind outside the glass window could blow her away.
Hashimoto Nana is just an ordinary Hokkaido girl. Her hypocrisy, her self-deprecation, her tears at dusk, and her clenched teeth in pain are just the most insignificant things in the world. They cannot be lifted. A wave.
Is there anything worth taking note of? After all, even she doesn't care anymore.
What an idiot——
Hashimoto Nana's eyes became gentler as she murmured to herself, and her skin seemed to tremble slightly due to the cold, or perhaps she was moved by a different kind of warmth.
But I really want to thank you, Baiyun-sang, I am very satisfied with this gift, thank you.
The girl looked at this text for a long time, and the corners of her mouth slightly raised.
She immediately closed the book and carefully placed it on top of the books listed on the desk, then covered it with a piece of paper to prevent dust from falling on it.
Then, she took a long breath, took out a paper and pen, rubbed her hazy eyes, and began to write a letter at her desk under the orange desk lamp.
...
...
Dear mother:
It has been nearly two months since I last wrote to you.
Please rest assured that I have been living well during this period and have no further health problems. After finding a new job and joining the idol group called Nogizaka46, your daughter has become an idol. The agency will take care of these problems and you no longer need to worry as before.
Moreover, the people here are very nice and treat me very well. Nanamin has met several friends there. They are all excellent and kind-hearted people and are great to the people around them.
In such an environment, your daughter is becoming better and better little by little. Of course, if it were you, you would definitely say that my Nanamin is the best. But that was all in the past. The members here are really amazing. They all have their own characteristics and advantages. Each of them looks like a shining star. Compared with them, I often feel that I am a little bit smaller. They are not suitable to be idols.
However, those were all my previous thoughts, and now I have some confidence. Regarding the current situation, I still want to continue and try to do better. Maybe one day, you can see me on TV and in newspapers. You will definitely feel very happy then. Proud to be the daughter of the Hashimoto family.
However, I am still very sorry to tell you so much about work. Let’s talk about other things next (laughs).
Recently, I often dream about things that happened at home before! I remember that when I was a kid, I loved running to the park and playing with my friends in the open space under the slide, but I would always forget that there was something above my head, so I would often bump into it. One time I brought a pillow from home and stuck it on, but I was scolded when I got home.
I also liked to jump and walk when school was over, but I accidentally slipped and fell. I still remember the scene when you carried me to the hospital. Now that I think about it, I am really sorry. Nanamin was really naughty when I was little.
Also, when we were playing on the swings in the park, I got angry because you only pushed my brother and not me. You were really naughty. It was obvious that you helped push me, but when I was little, I was never satisfied with anything. , I always feel that my younger brother seems to be more important, and I am often jealous of this.
However, I really miss what happened at that time.
How happy you are in your dreams, how lonely you feel when you wake up.
I almost forgot how many scratches there were on the tree at home. Has my brother grown taller again? Is there another trace added? Or is it based on my original height? But I won't be angry this time. Your daughter is almost an adult. She is going to become an adult. Adults will not be angry because of this kind of thing.
Will you build another snowman in winter? Are you still wearing a pair of glasses on your face, a green scarf around your neck, and a small book hanging on your hand? If you always regard the snowman as your daughter, it will make your real daughter sad! But next time you can try to build a bunch of little brother's, he was envious before, and he will be very happy to be able to build such a snowman for him.
As for the cooking at home, you obviously taught me a lot of cooking methods, but in the end I only remembered the clear soup. I'm really sorry when I think about it. But even so, I was still praised. Mom is really awesome. I actually want to drink the clear soup you cooked again, although I may not be able to name such a long list of praises.
By the way, in these two months, I have made a new friend - maybe I can call it a friend.
He is a very interesting person, reflected in all aspects: he likes to eat lollipops, but he is already in his twenties. He also likes to tell scary stories to scare others. I don’t know where he heard them. , as well as habits such as complaining and making fun of other people's dark histories. Doesn't it sound like a very positive person? (Laughs) But he is a really good person. If you can meet him in person, you will know that he is actually really gentle and funny.
And although he is very talented, he has a very easy-going personality, which is why I think I can call him a friend. When you are next to him, you will feel less burdened and very relaxed! Although he is actually our agent and a temporary member of our operations team, his position seems to be a little higher than the Kawajing-san I told you about last time - of course, Kawajing-san is also a good person. That’s it.
The first time I met him, we were in the Yangchuan store. I scolded him rudely when we first met. Now that I think about it, I'm really sorry, just like I did when I was a kid. Those same things.
Of course, time flows forward, and everyone will gradually become familiar with each other and gradually become very good friends.
Sad together (crossed out), laughed together, with so many people moving forward with your daughter, you can gradually feel relieved. The first day of school is coming soon, February will end in a blink of an eye, and April will soon begin. You must supervise your brother's study. He has always worked hard, and I am very happy, but this effort must be sustained.
Winter is almost over, and spring is coming soon. The cherry blossoms bloom earlier in Tokyo than in Hokkaido, but I want to see the flowers at home more. Whether it's cherry blossoms or snowflakes, I want to go home and see them in person, but unfortunately, I can't go back because I don't dare.
Your daughter is not as strong as she thought. Her cowardice is hidden in the dark and is exposed as soon as the light is turned on. I am afraid that after I go back, I will never have the courage to step out again. The beauty and nostalgia in my dreams call to me, but when I wake up, it is always empty.
I can't go back yet, your health hasn't improved yet, and my brother's tuition is another problem, but although the winter is long, it's almost over, isn't it? Believe in your daughter, she can definitely do it. The once childish Nana Hashimoto has now grown up. She can do many things, and she can definitely help the family she wants to protect.
Certainly possible.
The past Nana Hashimoto has passed away, and even though I haven’t become that good now, I can boast about how great I am. But at least your daughter has gradually adapted to her current job and gradually understood many truths. These things can support me to continue on, and I am confident.
You may not know that your daughter has never cried once in such a long time. No matter how sad or difficult it was, she held back the pressure and tears and did not let them flow down easily. She always feels that people who cry are not strong enough, because they are confused, because they are doubtful, because they are weak. Your daughter does not want to be such a person. She will never cry, and she must not cry.
Moreover, there are many good people here. They always try to make me laugh, cheer me up, and give me a lot of care. Many trivial things often make me feel warm and grateful. This is why I can keep going. I really like them and every one of them.
I think that although your daughter has not become greater because of this, at least she is no longer as lonely as before.
Sorry, I said a lot of other things without realizing it (laughs). Everything I want to say today has been written in it. The next time you write, your daughter will definitely get better again. Please trust her and don’t worry about her.
I wish you good health, and I also wish that your brother’s academic performance will be better. I have a feeling that tomorrow will be a sunny day.
must.
May we meet in dreams.
Hashimoto Nanami.
