On the subway home, Mu Wanqing was in a trance and confused.
Many childhood scenes reappear in my mind like a fleeting glance...
The little girl who waits by the roadside every day and stares at her.
The little girl who cried for her mother and even whispered in her dreams that her mother would come back soon.
That girl in adolescence who didn’t understand what menstruation was and her legs were full of blood.
The girl who was surrounded by a bunch of little girls and laughed at the poor orphan.
…
Too much too much.
During her childhood when she was lonely and bullied, she always thought about her mother coming back, thinking about her mother supporting her and keeping her warm.
But the expectation and waiting day after day have resulted in increasing disappointment and pain.
Until later, she no longer had expectations and learned to be strong.
So many years of suffering and pain have long become a part of her life, and she has completely accepted the fact that she does not have a mother.
But why did it suddenly appear now?
She was not dead, she was alive and well, so what was the reason that allowed her to abandon her biological daughter so completely and decisively?
If Mu Wanqing had not become a mother, she might not be able to understand this kind of blood-thicker-water emotion.
It was precisely because she gave birth to a child and became a mother that she understood how cruel the pain of separation of flesh and blood was.
Thinking of her daughter on her shoulder, reluctantly pulling her clothes and hair, her heart broke - and how could that woman be willing to leave her to an old and sick old man without caring about her life or death?
Tears stained her cheeks at some point. When she returned to the apartment, she still couldn't cheer up. She just felt uncomfortable all over her body. She couldn't tell whether it was physical or psychological.
With an instinct, she climbed up to the attic, fell onto the bed and buried herself under the quilt without taking off her clothes, and fell asleep...
When the phone kept vibrating, Mu Wanqing was still dreaming.
In the dream, she returned to her childhood, holding a little girl in her hand. The two of them sat on the roadside together, watching the sunset and the passing cars.
The little girl called her mother. She said that she was not her mother and that she was also waiting for her mother.
Then she was also dreaming in the dream. She dreamed that there was a knock on the door. She got up from her sleep and woke up. When she opened the door, she saw that her mother was back!
"Mom...Mom!" She suddenly exclaimed, sat up, opened her eyes and looked at the furnishings in front of her, and realized that it was a nightmare...
But the knock on the door was practical.
"Dong dong dong, dong dong dong -"
"Mu Wanqing! Are you there? Mu Wanqing!"
Recognizing Yu Qiao's voice, she quickly responded, "Here -"
As soon as I opened my voice, I found that my voice was hoarse and broken, and my voice was incomplete.
Feeling uncomfortable all over and feeling light-headed and light-headed, she forced herself to get up and almost missed her footing when going down the stairs.
When she staggered over and opened the door, she looked at the anxious Yu Qiao outside the door and asked in confusion: "What...what's wrong?"
Seeing that she was in good company, Yu Qiao was relieved, "Is it my turn to ask you what's wrong? You didn't answer the phone, you didn't reply to your WeChat messages, I knocked on the door for a long time but you didn't respond... I thought something happened to you, just now I also called Zhou Yiru."
Mu Wanqing was puzzled, "I...I just feel uncomfortable. I need to sleep for a while..."
"Have a nap? Do you know what time it is?"
what time is it?
Mu Wanqing turned around and walked back to the small living room in a daze. She looked out the window - it turned out to be dark already!
"Are you sick? You look bad." Yu Qiao stared at her and asked with a frown.
As soon as he finished speaking, there was another "buzzing" vibration in the room. Mu Wanqing looked around and remembered that her cell phone was ringing in her bag.
He went over and took out his cell phone, and sure enough it was Zhou Yiru calling.
"Hey, Brother Zhou..."
"Xiaoqing, where have you been? Miss Yu said she couldn't contact you." Zhou Yiru asked worriedly on the phone.
"I was sleeping at home and put my phone in my bag. I didn't hear it..."
She explained awkwardly. After hearing Zhou Yiru say that she was on her way over, she quickly refused: "No, I'm fine. Qiao Qiao is here, so don't come."
Zhou Yiru was worried, "Are you really okay?"
"It's okay... I just fell asleep and fell asleep."
Zhou Yiru knew that she had gone to see her child today, so she probably wasn't in a good mood and wanted to come over and see her.
But she repeatedly refused, and Zhou Yiru couldn't force her. He could only tell her to contact her anytime if she had anything to do, and gave up the plan of coming over.
After hanging up the phone, Yu Qiao handed her a cup of hot water, "I haven't been able to contact you. I thought you were arrested and detained again."
Mu Wanqing drank hot water and her throat felt better, but her head was still uncomfortable and groggy.
He raised his hand and touched it, feeling a little warm.
"I went back to visit the children, and I did meet him...but he didn't make things difficult for me -" she said softly.
"Then what's wrong with you?" Yu Qiao saw that she was not only feeling unwell, but also seemed to have something on her mind.
Mu Wanqing sat down on the sofa, thinking about Aunt Wang's phone call and the dreams she had just had, and she felt depressed and irritable again.
Seeing that she was in a trance, Yu Qiao didn't even have the strength to speak. He sighed and didn't ask any questions. He just said, "It's almost seven o'clock. What are you having for dinner?"
"I'm not hungry yet. Let's make some noodles when I want to eat later..." After she answered, she looked at Yu Qiao and forced a smile, "I'm fine. You can go back and spend time with your child."
Yu Qiao originally came to her because he had something to talk about, but seeing her state, he changed his mind and nodded: "Then you have a good rest. If you are really uncomfortable, go see a doctor. Don't hold on. "
"Okay, I know."
After sending Yu Qiao away, Mu Wanqing came back and nestled on the sofa.
After taking the phone and looking at it, I realized that there were seven or eight missed calls. In addition to Yu Qiao and Zhou Yiru, there were also two missed calls from Aunt Wang...
When the eyes of my confused and uncomfortable brain came into contact with the words "Wang Aunt", my nerves suddenly tightened again.
Her slender jade fingers stayed on the screen, and she was at war again in her heart - should she reply or not?
Go back, maybe get information about that woman again.
She instinctively rejects and resists.
But when he didn't reply, he felt vaguely pulled by something in his heart, as if he was unwilling to do so, and also seemed to have some kind of expectation.
After hesitating and struggling for a long time, she thought about Aunt Wang's care and love for her. Even if she had to explain something to others, she should go back and say it.
So, call back.
Putting the phone to her ear, she hugged her pajamas and leaned softly on the sofa, her muscles aching and weak.
It looks like she is sick, but the breast glands are not blocked, so it is not caused by mastitis.
It may be that I accidentally contracted the wind chill due to the recent cooling down, or it may be that I was sitting by the lake today and the cold wind blew, or it may be that my mood is too depressed, which has affected my body psychologically and physically.
The phone rang for a while, and when it was connected, Aunt Wang's high-pitched voice came instantly: "Xiaoqing! I thought you didn't want to know the news about your mother, so you didn't answer my call on purpose..."
