Finally, I finally came to the place where I left regrets.
………
As the sun set, I walked on the city streets, watching the cars and people coming and going, and I felt lost and confused.
It was getting dark when I got home. I didn't eat or take a shower. I just walked to the window sill and sat silently.
With the help of street lights in the community, I watched the busy people downstairs and the occasional cars passing by on both sides. I had a feeling that I was out of tune with society and even the entire world. Yes, I didn’t know what to do or what to say. Perhaps the only thing you can do is to watch in silence, contemplation, numbness, and watch people immersed in the money society, and then work hard for their own goals, and finally make themselves more money through hard work. Enough money, more and more money. The more money I have, every time I think about this, I always shake my head with a wry smile and sigh.
Don't doubt it, don't be surprised, because my current situation is indeed like this. Regarding today's society, I am already desperate, completely desperate, and then face life with a desperate mentality.
Some people may question, or some may be confused about my above remarks, or my stubbornness and extremeness. For example, why do you think people only think about money? Do you think today's society is really a dirty society that is impetuous, numb and full of money and copper? To take a step back, even if it is, what about you? What is your goal? Can you leave the money? After all, in today's society, people cannot do without money. As the saying goes, if you have money, you can travel all over the world, but if you don't have money, it will be difficult to move forward. Don't tell me that you can live without money, because this is unrealistic.
Faced with the above question, my standard answer is that you are half right.
I admit that I cannot live without society, and even more cannot live without money. Without money, I will definitely starve to death. However, strictly speaking, there are some differences. At least my personal goals are not linked to money.
To me, money is just a thing to survive. Yes, to survive, to maintain the most basic daily life, as long as it allows me to pay the water and electricity bills and keep my life running. I don’t pay attention to clothes, and I don’t care about food. After all, entertainment has disappeared from my life many years ago. Therefore, I don’t know what the meaning of life is. Is it to accept learning in ignorance and grow up slowly, then work, marry, and have children? Looking back on the past in your later years? A regular process, but there is no denying that this kind of process life is also the most exciting life. As the saying goes, plainness is the truth. Many films and TV dramas containing philosophy also focus on explaining and portraying this kind of life, thus telling the world that happiness is Ordinary, ordinary represents happiness. Life must be both plain and busy to be considered a perfect life. Although the silent society has been weathered, you will experience the ups and downs of human relationships in your limited life, and your life will not be in vain after a hundred years.
As for me, to be honest, I also long for this kind of life. I hope to spend this life in trivial, busy or ordinary life like most people in the world.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the ability to do it, I can’t enter a regular life, and it’s completely difficult for me to live an ordinary and busy life like ordinary people. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s not that I don’t want to, but...
But I am stuck in the quagmire!
People are different, just like everyone knows that the nature of society is unfair. Some people are born into a wealthy family and are happy and have no worries about food and clothing. Some people are born smart and studious and live a happy life through self-effort. Even if you You may not have a good background or study well, but you can still find various opportunities in society so that you can live comfortably and even get rich. Yes, God is basically fair, and it is fair to the vast majority of people in the world. However, the basics are the basics after all. In fact, there are still a few people who are born unlucky. Factors such as disability, illness, accidents, etc. can change a person's beginning or future.
This kind of situation can be described as misfortune. Unfortunately, compared with me, the above are still minor. At least these people's misfortune only happened once or twice, and it is only temporary. As long as you can grit your teeth and survive it, you will eventually be able to get through it again. Get back on track, start your life again, it’s not a big deal if you start over again.
but I……
I don't even have a fucking chance to start over! It can even be said that I myself am equated with 'tragedy'.
After seeing this, I believe there must be curious people who are suspicious and have an inexplicable instinct to ask, why do I describe myself in this way? Why so pessimistic? What have you experienced that makes you so desperate?
I will tell you the answer, but before I answer, I still want to ask you two questions first, that is...
Do you believe in fate?
Do you believe there are worms?
I am a person who is plagued by bad luck, a truly miserable person. For some reason, from the moment I was born, I have been frail and sickly. I often have high fevers and have been hospitalized for injections. I don’t know if the medicine has any effect. For me, I only know that since I can remember, I have always been poor in other subjects except Chinese. Of course, this is not the point. The point is that my bad luck has just begun.
After graduation, I officially entered the society. I thought I could live a happy life through hard work like most young people in the world. However, I thought too much. Not only did I not live a happy life, I couldn't even live an ordinary life. Development In the end, even the most basic survival becomes a luxury.
Fate began to attack me and beat me in unconventional ways. The key to describing it as "fancy" is that fate did not make me disabled or sick. It also did not make me suffer from sudden accidents. Instead, it gave me a gift. brought my misfortune.
I admit that although I am a bit dull, a bit withdrawn, and not good at words, I think that my work is okay, I will never stand out, but I rarely make mistakes. As a result, the company closed down after two years of work, so I feel sad and lost. I found a job in Du with the help of my family. To be honest, I was very dissatisfied and extremely uncomfortable with this job. To put it simply, it can be understood that the work is depressing and uncomfortable. Of course, I personally also know that life is not what I want. Nine times out of ten, society is difficult and jobs are hard to find. Who do you think you are? You have no right to be picky and nagging. In order to survive, I gritted my teeth and insisted on constantly adapting. I thought I could calm down my mentality through time, but the result was exactly the opposite. I was depressed for too long and felt uncomfortable for too long, and I personally was not suitable. In this job, I finally had a feeling that if I continued like this, I would go crazy, and once I went crazy, my life would be completely over. So, I quit my job amidst the scolding and accusations from my parents and family members.
I was quiet for a while. Because I had no money, during that time I just relied on my parents and my family. My mother was exactly the kind of typical Z-country parent who used to compare her own children with "other people's children are better". Infinitely The endless accusations made me further depressed after I had just got out of my depressing job. During the period of silence, not only did I not feel relieved, but the pain intensified and the depression surged. Therefore, in order to escape the insults and abuses, I started my third career with the introduction of relatives in a trying mood. job.
As I said before, I am a person who dares to face reality. Although I am not even smart, I know how to support myself. I have never thought about relying on my parents, and I have always aimed to support myself, no matter what. The income is high or low, and I just hope that I can support myself without having to spend money from my parents. Let’s get back to the topic, the new job is not easy, but after the initial internship experience, I still integrated into it, and gradually adapted to it while getting rid of depression. , maybe the working environment suits my personal personality, so I persisted this time, and in a true sense, I became determined and accustomed to it for a long time. I lived an ordinary life like my colleagues. Although there were ups and downs during the period, isn't that what life is like?
Seven years, a full seven years, I thought my life would pass by quietly in this dullness, but unfortunately I was still too true. If I am said to be lazy personally, then I may be speechless when I encounter all the following. I say I can only blame myself, but the problem is that the cause is not mine. It really is not my fault. After working for seven years, the unit was cleared of employees. All those who had worked for less than 12 years were terminated from their contracts and were dismissed collectively. So, I ended up with nearly a thousand people like this. The unlucky co-workers like me who had not worked long enough had no choice but to leave with the meager compensation.
The third time I got hit...
That night when I returned home, I sighed and didn't know what to do. The only thing I could do was lean on the window sill and look at the stars like I did today.
Half a month later, with the help of my mother’s friend, I went to Shanghai to start working. Then, I was forced to give up due to the frequent job transfers that were difficult to attach. Obviously, my personality determined that it was difficult for me to face new things frequently. In a new environment, when the pressure accumulates to a certain level, the consequence is often that you have no choice but to let go.
Another week later, I found a job locally alone. Two years later, the contract was terminated in a familiar way.
The cycle went on and on, and I began to feel numb in my heart when things went wrong again and again. It was also from that time on that I became vaguely aware of something.
Yes, I started to pay special attention, focus on observation, observe my body, and recall my past.
The result was nothing.
I was tortured by fate until I collapsed. During the collapse, I recognized the reality and thought that there was no room for me in real work. So I found another way and started my writing career with my writing style that was barely up to standard, trying to break away from reality on the other side. Prove your own worth in a world to maintain food and clothing.
Because I like supernatural works, I instinctively chose supernatural themes when I first started writing, and then began to conceive and create code to make a living. As described at the beginning of the article, I don’t have any lofty goals. I just want to make enough money to maintain basic survival. I used the money to support myself. Let’s not talk about the income for the moment. The creation was indeed relatively smooth at the beginning. Not to mention, relying on my rough writing skills that basically met the standards, I successfully passed the review and signed the contract immediately. Next, the contract was signed. As the daily codes continue to be conceived, as the plot develops one after another, some readers are attracted and their subscriptions increase one after another. Of course, this so-called increase in subscriptions is only in my personal eyes, and it is nothing in the eyes of great writers. , after all, with just a few hundred subscriptions, you can barely survive and not starve to death, but so what? I have never thought about becoming famous from the beginning to the end of my writing, and I have heard the saying that "writing will lead to a dead end". If you have to ask me, what is my other purpose besides maintaining food and clothing? It's very simple, that is, I am dissatisfied with today's supernatural themes. No, that's not right. It should be said that I am quite critical of today's ghost escape themes.
I believe that brothers who often watch this kind of soul escape genre will definitely find a certain feature, that is, most of the horror soul escape genres have sci-fi powers in the early stage and later stages, and some even directly become cultivation. I personally don’t agree with this. Expressing my opinion, I can only say that this violates the original intention of Qihun Escape. What is Qihun Escape? To put it bluntly, human beings use their wisdom to escape and ascend to heaven under the threat of the difficult-to-resist hydrilla monsters. Once unconventional things such as enhanced abilities or bloodlines are added in the middle and later stages, once humans have the ability to confront the hydrilla monsters head-on, then such themes will Undoubtedly, the flavor will change, especially the sense of tension and oppression will decline rapidly. It is no exaggeration to say that without discussing whether the plot is exciting or not, most of today's ghost escape-themed works are scary in the early stage and scary in the middle and late stages. It gradually changed its taste, and even worse, it was simply a monster-fighting and upgrading work dressed in a horror guise.
Of course, I also admit that among today's ghost escape-themed works, there are indeed pure horror and supernatural works without supernatural powers, but it is a pity that the number is too small. On the one hand, the small number is small, and on the other hand, most of them are short in word length. , it ends before readers are satisfied with it, and it always leaves people with a feeling of unfinished learning, so my wish is very simple, that is, to write the longest pure soul escape genre in history that does not contain superpowers from beginning to end. This work is a work that does not incorporate any other settings and only focuses on horror and the supernatural, making it enjoyable for readers who love this type of subject.
As for making money? As for being famous? I haven’t thought about it, I haven’t considered it from beginning to end, because I know that the soul escape genre is a niche genre, and it is difficult to write about it, and the soul escape without superpowers is even more difficult, and it is more difficult to write than ordinary people. The escape from the ghost soul with supernatural powers is even more brain-burning. After all, without superpowers, the plot must pay special attention to logic and rationality, such as the way to fight against the ghost, such as the analysis and reasoning of the way to survive, and the solution of the mystery, etc. Etc., the above not only makes it difficult and brain-burning for the author to write, but also takes into account the exciting plot. This makes the writing even more difficult as you can imagine. The combination of all these makes this kind of work become a work that almost no author has written. The subject I wish to write about has now become unpopular.
Yes, it is precisely because writing on this type of subject is too difficult, and in the eyes of some readers, it is far less enjoyable than passionate novels, so the soul escape without supernatural powers has inevitably become a niche and unpopular, and there are few authors who have written about it. There are also very few readers, and authors who write about this kind of subject are basically thankless for their efforts. However, there are no absolutes in anything. Being a niche does not mean that no one will read it. In fact, there are still many readers who like to watch Escape. In order to be able to This is my goal so that readers who love this type of subject matter will not be short of books and still have new works to read. As for money? Just enough to eat, just enough not to starve to death, that's all.
result……
I succeeded a third of the way.
My first novel was blocked for some unexplained reasons after I had written it for two full years and the word count had reached 3 million.
What does closing a book mean?
It means disappearing. It means evaporating from the world. It is a forced eunuch. It means that the author wants to continue writing but has nothing to write because the work disappears!
I believe that readers who have read my first work must have scolded me for why I didn’t write The Eunuch in the middle of Arctic Hunter. Even to this day, I believe there are still many people who think that I was an active eunuch, but the truth is not everyone As you guessed, what is the truth? The truth is that I personally really want to continue writing, but unfortunately reality forces me to eunuch. If I were to put myself in my shoes, how could you continue writing when the work disappeared?
Therefore, under the circumstances that human power could not reverse, my work that had been written for two years and had a large word count evaporated and was forced to come to an abrupt end.
I can not be reconciled!
So after half a month of silence, I reopened a new book and started writing again. I planned to resurrect the first work in another way, trying to make up for the regrets, trying to link it with a new framework, linking to the broken parts of the first work, and then continue writing. Go on and write the story of the first work completely, so that the whole story has a beginning and an end.
As a result, I was too naive...
When the second work reached 1.5 million words, the book was blocked again. As for the reason for blocking the book, the official reason was that it was too scary and bloody! ?
I was speechless, lost my language, lost my hope, my sky completely collapsed, and my human logic was completely destroyed.
There are only tears left, only tears full of unwillingness in pain. Why is this? Why is it that when other people write books, everything goes smoothly, but I am the only one who goes through ups and downs and everything goes wrong? Is it because I didn’t try hard enough to conceive the plot or did I choose a taboo subject? If so, then why do many websites maintain supernatural and horror columns?
I, I don’t understand, I really don’t understand, I can’t do anything but cry alone late at night.
I fell ill, suffered from chest tightness and asthma due to extreme confusion and excessive anger, and ended up being hospitalized for three days.
After being discharged from the hospital, I continued to open books with reluctance. Then, I was lucky enough to encounter the "Network Rectification". For a time, countless supernatural works were blocked, and a large number of horrors disappeared, and naturally my works were indispensable among them. Then, I laughed .
hahahahhahahahaha.
In that empty and desolate night, I laughed and cried, laughed and cried. From that moment on, I truly discovered that I was a person plagued by bad luck, a person who had been deliberately targeted many times by God. You kid, if the above are just my personal guesses, then another thing I encountered that night completely confirmed the existence of 'her'.
I accidentally saw 'her' during that brief power outage. Yes, I saw it with my own eyes. At two o'clock in the morning, 'she' stayed with me, silently in a form that no one, including myself, could usually see. Stay with me. I don't know how long that thing has been pestering me. I only know that 'she' wants me to die. She really wants me to die. 'She' doesn't have the ability to kill me directly, but 'she' does. The ability to reduce my luck, which indirectly led to my bad luck in everything, whether it was my early real work or my current writing of online articles, all my failures came from 'her', yes, that thing has been with me for a long time, He has been with me for a long time, staying with me from morning to night and all the time, which has caused my bad luck to linger, and the name of that thing is exactly...
Female locust! ! !
I was entangled by an invisible long-haired female locust. I was really entangled. I could have sworn that I, the Arctic hunter, had seen 'her' with my own eyes. At two o'clock in the middle of the night, the power went out and then came back again in a brief trance. I accidentally saw 'her' through the computer screen. Then, I understood, I understood completely. It turns out that everything is destined and nothing can be changed. The moment I saw 'her', I had already stopped fantasizing. , interrupting the ridiculous self-consolation of "I will get better one day", it turns out that I am the protagonist of the story, a poor character who is labeled as "tragedy" in reality. Of course, I don't understand why God is targeting me like this. It was also impossible to keep the female locust away from me, so I could only give up the struggle and accept the reality. After accepting the reality, I vaguely felt that I was going to die, my end was approaching, and I would most likely be tortured to death by fate. I was doomed. He will die in the hands of a female tiger, but...
Before I die, I still want to fulfill one wish, which is to allow me to finish writing this story, and this is also my last wish in this life.
Under the torture of bad luck, I didn't expect that what others could successfully finish has become an impossible task for me. Finishing a novel smoothly is even more difficult than reaching the sky!
so……
Please, please have mercy on me, don’t play tricks on me anymore, I just want to finish this book completely, that’s all! ! !
I promise you, as long as you are willing to give me a chance and allow me to make up for the regrets that have lasted for several years. As long as you allow me to finish writing this book smoothly, I will solve it myself without you having to do anything. When the work is completed, That was the day my arctic hunter life ended!
At that time, I will jump off the 6th floor, and I will take the initiative to go to hell according to your wishes. The only requirement is that I can finish writing this book that I have put a lot of effort into.
This is my obsession, an obsession that goes deep into my bones. I just want to write a movie as planned earlier, the longest escape in history with no supernatural powers. The wish is very small, nothing more, maybe in the eyes of ordinary people This is nothing, as long as you are willing to code and conceive, the work will be completed over time. Unfortunately, such an easy thing is difficult for a person like me who is plagued by bad luck.
That night, facing the computer screen and looking at the long-haired woman lying on my back at that moment, I cried and begged her with tears in my eyes. I begged her to let me go for the time being and not to release the bad luck for the time being. The purpose was to allow me. I will finish writing, as for the female locust...
'She' didn't respond, didn't speak, she just looked at me through the computer screen for a long time in silence, and then 'she' disappeared.
After the female locust disappeared, I opened the book again and continued to rewrite, and this work to make up for my regrets was also named "Secret Records of Evil Spirits".
First of all, it can be confirmed that "Secret Records of Evil Spirits" is a refined rewritten version of the first work. The purpose is to give the whole story a complete ending. The reason for the rewrite is that only one third of the full text of the first work was written. The book was blocked due to circumstances, and there are still millions of words of huge plots that have not yet been written. However, I always work from beginning to end. In order to make up for my personal regrets, and also to make up for the regrets of old readers, this book is the first work. A refined rewritten version. The plot of the rewritten version has been revised to a certain extent, and the content has been greatly optimized. After writing the part where the first part was forced to be discontinued due to book closure, we will continue writing, and will continue to write the parts that were not written due to book closure. The last two-thirds of the plot are completed in this book, so that the whole story has a beginning and an end.
………
Time passed day by day, and the plot developed step by step. Finally, the plot entered the connecting part, and finally came to the place where I left regrets throughout my life.
Staring at the night sky outside the window, I finished recalling the past, suddenly came back to my senses, and found that time had unknowingly entered midnight.
I left the window sill, returned to the bedroom, turned on the computer and logged in to the website. Next, I started coding, typing a line of titles on the blank coding interface, and typed out the latest volume that had been postponed for several years due to continuous book closures. The title of a new volume that I was forced to discontinue:
Hessian ghost!
