Songshan, Shaolin Temple.
A gorgeous carriage stopped on the side of the road. Shangguan Haitang, Duan Tianya, and Cheng Shifei sat in the carriage and looked at each other.
The little yellow cat was lying in Begonia's arms, sleeping very sweetly, but its golden tail was always dangling, and sometimes it would burrow into strange places.
Covering her restless little tail, Haitang sighed: "My adoptive father really values Yi Dao and sent us all out at once."
Duan Tianya nodded, but frowned.
Since returning to Hulong Villa, he has resumed his old career and become a secret agent in Ouchi. His wife, Liu Sheng Piaoxu, seemed to have completely changed. Every time she went back, she would be either sarcastic or arrogant.
He didn't even know what he had done wrong.
Sometimes Piaoxu even doubts that she has anything to do with Haitang.
As a man with a son, would he still attract other girls? The thoughts of this woman after marriage are really strange.
Seeing that Shi Fei kept arguing and chattering with Yun Luo along the way, he was even a little envious.
Why did Cheng Shifei go to Jiaofangsi to have fun and often fight with Yun Luo? Can Yun Luo forgive him?
"Cheng Shifei, I have a question I want to ask you." Duan Tianya finally couldn't help but said.
Cheng Shifei's eyes lit up and he quickly put down the chicken drumstick in his mouth: "Brother Tianya, I'm so touched.
You are the first one to discover that I am the best and most cultured person hidden under the surface of being slovenly, loyal, honest and bohemian.
Ask, as long as I know, I will not hide a word. "
Duan Tianya said curiously: "Cheng Shifei, I found that you seem to be very good at dealing with women.
What I want to ask you is why every time I go home after completing a mission, Piaoxu holds her child with me and stays close to me even when she is walking, sitting or lying down.
But no matter what I did, she seemed unhappy and had a cold face. I thought I had done nothing wrong, but I had no idea what she was thinking or what she wanted me to do.
And she seems to have a lot of resentment. Even when we are walking together, she will complain all the time.
When you see a flower, you say that all the other trees are green and it blooms. Who will you seduce? It's a bad flower.
When I walked to the cliff, I said that I wanted to jump off and die. It was pure and clean, but I always felt that someone else should die.
Even while walking, I can complain about why the road can't move by itself, and I still want her to walk. Is it looking down on her? Even in the end, when she basked in the sun in broad daylight, she suspected that the sun was targeting her and trying to tan her skin. "
Shangguan Haitang:......
Little yellow cat:.......
If this resentment is directed at him, his strength will probably increase sharply every day. Becoming an immortal and becoming an ancestor is not a dream.
Cheng Shifei was silent for a while, suddenly realized, and smiled.
"This is simple. Brother Tianya, do you know that when I was a child, the teacher often asked me to get up to answer questions. If I didn't answer well, I would be punished by standing still and slapped on the palm of my hand. Do you know why?"
Duan Tianya frowned: "Why?"
"Because I didn't hand in my homework!" Cheng Shifei smiled like a man.
"Hand in your homework?" Duan Tianya didn't understand.
He didn't study, so what homework did he have to hand in?
Shangguan Haitang blushed and remained silent, but her legs that were sitting cross-legged moved slightly.
Cheng Shifei pointed at him suspiciously and winked: "Brother Tianya, we are all married. You don't know anything, do you? We are all members of the same family. Why are you pretending to me!"
Duan Tianya was confused, but calmly said: "I really don't know what you mean."
After Cheng Shifei checked again and again, he realized that there were indeed men in the world who were not pornographic. This was obviously inconsistent with his three views.
As far as he knew, even if it was a male cat, it was still a pervert.
Miao Le:???
Cheng Shifei thought for a while. After all, with a woman like Shangguan Haitang present, it was difficult to teach by words and deeds. Then he suddenly remembered something and reluctantly took out an exquisite illustration book from his arms.
"Here, here you go, here is the unparalleled skill that Mr. Le taught me. Not only the peak martial arts of handicrafts and ventriloquism, but also some secret techniques of fighting, called "The Great Yin-Yang Five Elements Harmony and Entering the Tao Secret Code"
When you go back, find Piaoxu and turn a page in front of you to practice your ventriloquism and skills of burning incense first. Practice fighting and fighting for another half hour. I promise that Piaoxu will obey your words from now on. "
Cheng Shifei said sternly, and aside from other things, he knew a lot about women.
If you are disobedient, just take him to bed, have an in-depth conversation, and give him some strong persuasion.
Duan Tianya was stunned and reached out to take it, very curious.
There is actually a martial art in this world that can make women obedient. It is indeed a strange beast that even the adoptive father treats seriously: Le Ye!
"What kind of martial arts? Let me see it first." Shangguan Haitang grabbed it directly.
As the most amazing person in the world, the direct disciple of Mr. Wuhen who is known as omniscient and omnipotent, there are actually martial arts in this world that she doesn't know about.
After turning over two pages and seeing the clearly illustrated illustrations, Haitang blushed and quickly threw it into Tianya's hands like a hot potato.
Duan Tianya took it and turned it over curiously.
After a moment, the three of them looked at the little yellow cat with strange eyes.
Miao Le:......
[It’s not me, I didn’t, don’t talk nonsense! ]
"Haha~" The three of them sneered together.
Do you think we believe it or not?
"It's broken, it's broken, it's wrong, it's broken!" Yun Luo opened the curtain of the car, with a look of panic on his face.
"Daughter-in-law, what's wrong?" Cheng Shifei quickly stepped forward and hugged Yun Luo.
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu It's wrong. When I went out to relieve myself just now, I wanted to see if I had a good bowel movement, but there was a pool of blood on it. Did I have a miscarriage?" Yun Luo said with a cry.
Everyone:......
Not to mention other things, everyone seems to have the habit of looking back at the big thing after solving it. Why is this?
Cheng Shifei panicked when he heard this. Yun Luo's pregnancy was simply his day of redemption. He quickly asked for specific details. It took him a long time to figure it out and feel relieved.
"Yun Luo, do you know why people just give birth to children and don't call them children with malaria?"
"Why?" Yun Luo's eyes were filled with tears, but he couldn't help but be curious.
"Because the child came out from where you peed, not from the dermatitis!" Cheng Shifei said solemnly.
Yun Luo's pretty face turned red, and she immediately followed up with a taming routine, pulling her ears and twisting her waist.
"Ahhh!"
After a while, Shangguan Haitang, as a master of medical skills, drove Duan Tianya and Cheng Shifei out of the carriage, then took Yunluo's pulse in the carriage, then took off his clothes and checked his body.
The little yellow cat stood stunned, thoughtful, and suddenly realized.
After a while, Haitang stopped her hand, wiped the middle finger and index finger with a silk handkerchief twice, wiped off the unknown liquid, and said with a smile.
"It's okay. What you have is not a miscarriage, but pregnancy hemorrhoids. Many pregnant women have this disease."
Yun Luo's face was rosy, his eyes were watery, and he was too embarrassed to raise his head. Even if everyone is a woman, it was too embarrassing just now. Even the husband has never touched those places.
It took a while for the two of them and the cat to recover.
Yun Luo asked curiously: "Haitang, are you sure my illness is normal?"
Shangguan Haitang nodded: "Of course, speaking of this hemorrhoids, you are not the only one. Many important people have been troubled by this hemorrhoids throughout the ages, so we don't have to worry about it. It's just a minor illness.
The main reasons are that one is sitting for a long time, and the other is eating too well, taking too long and using too much force during defecation, which may cause turbid qi and blood congestion to flow into the perianal door and cause hemorrhoids. "
"That's good, that's good!" Yun Luo was relieved, and it turned out that she was not the only one.
This person was afraid of getting sick because no one else had it, but she had it.
Shangguan Haitang saw the little yellow cat's blue eyes widened with curiosity, so he smiled and continued to explain.
"Historical Records: Biography of Ren Xing": "Emperor Wen suffered from carbuncle, and Deng Tong was the emperor's wife. "The most famous person suffering from hemorrhoids should be Emperor Wen of Han Dynasty.
His male favorite Deng Tong sucked the pus and blood from his hemorrhoids to relieve Liu Heng's pain. Nowadays, "sucking and licking hemorrhoids" refers to the obscene and obscene behavior of Liu Gout and Cao Zhengchun.
There is also Mr. Su Dongpo, a literary master of the Song Dynasty and a master of food.
It is said that in order to treat hemorrhoids, he developed and produced Dongpo Poria Cake, which is made from steamed flax, peeled Poria cocos and a little white honey. The efficacy is unknown, but it tastes good. I will make it for you when I have time. taste. "
"Okay, okay!" Yun Luo said happily.
Some people are just so strange, easy to be happy and satisfied. Such people live the happiest lives.
"Meow meow~" the little yellow cat jumped on Haitang's shoulder, stretched out its pink tongue and licked hard.
【I want it too! 】
…
The back mountain of Shaolin is Damo Cliff.
Cheng Shifei and his party finally arrived here noisily.
When they arrived at the Shaolin Temple in the morning, they found out that the Shaolin monks were worried that Yi Dao was crazy and would kill innocent people indiscriminately, so they asked Jie Jie to bring Gui Hai Yi Dao to the back mountain to recite scriptures and get rid of the inner demons.
As a result, one day when Master Liao Fan and his disciples came to check the situation, they discovered that Jiu Jie had died under the sword technique of Xiong Da Xia.
The death of a generation of divine monks immediately shook the world.
In this huge world, reputation depends on one word: fight!
After his death, Shaolin's status suddenly dropped. Liao Fan directly took people to Kyoto to seek justice as a support.
"One knife, one knife, where are you? Come out and say something!" Cheng Shifei shouted directly.
Shangguan Haitang and others glanced around.
Now the entire world is searching for the whereabouts of Gui Hai Yida, but nothing has been found. So they suspected that Yida was still here.
After walking a few steps, Duan Tianya and Shangguan Haitang stopped. When their opponents glanced at each other, they immediately understood what they were thinking and stretched out their hands into their arms.
"Whoosh~"
The hidden weapon flashed, and two people rolled down the mountain. They were wearing the standard spy uniforms of Hulong Villa.
"Tian Zi No. 1, Xuan Zi No. 1, we are sent by the Lord Shen to find Gui Hai Yida, our own people!" the man said quickly.
"Oh, that's right!" Duan Tianya nodded and walked up to the two of them.
"Qiang~"
The sword flashed.
"Ah!" The two screamed and died immediately.
"But the adoptive father also said that if anyone is found following him, he will be killed directly!" Duan Tianya put away his knife and said calmly.
Cheng Shifei, who had just reacted, looked at the body on the ground, and then looked at the indifferent Duan Tianya. He was stunned for a moment and subconsciously clapped.
"It's so powerful, killing people like hemp!"
Yun Luo: "Kill decisively!"
"Meow meow~"
【Awesome! 】
As expected of the secret agent of Hulong Villa, he never said a word until he died!
Shangguan Haitang turned around and rolled his eyes.
She completely didn't understand the meaning of her adoptive father taking these two people with him when he asked them to find a knife.
It seems that the only useful things they have done so far are helping with food and praising them for their awesomeness.
What does adoptive father mean?
"Tap, step~" Guihai Yidao slowly walked out of Bodhidharma Cave wearing coarse cloth shoes, with disheveled hair and a weak look.
Shangguan Haitang quickly stepped forward and asked with concern: "Yidao, are you okay?"
Guihai Yidao's face turned pale and he shook his head: "It's okay, I finally survived the twentieth attack of inner demons.
But according to what Master Jiejie said, I must take one 'Buddha Demon Eliminator Pill' every day and survive seven or forty-nine inner demons before I can recover as before. "
"Ah?" Haitang asked quickly: "With one knife, were you the one who killed the holy monk?"
"No, at that time I had just taken the Buddha Demonic Eliminator Pill and lost all my power. Then a Japanese swordsman came, and he was fighting on par with Master Jiejie.
When the swordsman saw me coming, he slashed at me directly. In order to protect me, Master Jie was killed by the Japanese swordsman. Of course, the Japanese swordsman was also hit by Master Jie's "Pity for Heaven and Mercy" attack, and was seriously injured, so he didn't continue to kill me. "Gui Hai Yi Dao explained.
"How is it possible? With one sword, according to our inspection, the divine monk died under the sword technique that dominates the world. Is there another person in this world who can dominate the world?" Duan Tianya asked curiously.
Guihai Yidao shook his head blankly. He discovered his dominance over the world from his father's relics.
"Yidao, since you weren't the one who killed Master Jie, then you come back to Hulong Villa with us now. Firstly, we can't let you fall into the hands of Dongchang. Secondly, with the protection of your adoptive father, you can confront those people face to face."
Shangguan Haitang stepped forward, grabbed Yidao's hand, and continued.
Although the person she truly loves has always been her eldest brother, she still can't turn a blind eye to such a man who is willing to sacrifice everything for her.
"No, I can't leave! Master Jie said that if I can't get rid of the demon this time, then everything I have done will be in vain.
There are still twenty-nine days, twenty-nine times to eliminate the devil.
Tianya, Haitang, give me a chance! "Gui Hai Yi Dao pleaded.
Now he just wants to be himself and be a normal person. Then, protect Haitang and watch her live a happy life.
That's all enough!
Haitang and Duan Tianya looked at each other with solemn expressions.
They are Ouchi secret agents, the orders of the imperial court, the orders of the adoptive father, that is heaven. There is only one education I have received since I was a child: orders are as high as mountains!
After hesitating for a moment, Shangguan Haitang looked at Duan Tianya and hesitated to speak.
Duan Tianya is also hesitant. He is no longer the same as before. He has a wife and a son. If he acts willfully, what will happen to his wife and children?
At this moment, Gui Hai accidentally glanced at Yun Luo, and immediately saw the satisfied little yellow cat with a wet mouth on Yun Luo's heart.
Why is this nasty little yellow cat here? He was with Haitang all the way? He follows Haitang when she takes a bath, urinates, defecates, and even sleeps?
But he has never experienced this kind of life!
Why? Why isn't he an awesome cat? Why does this cat exist in this world? Why is Begonia so good? If it weren't for Haitang, would I not be so angry!
"Kill!" In an instant, Gui Hai Yi Dao's eyes turned red and he looked at Shangguan Haitang with murderous intent.
No, Haitang is right, what is wrong is this world, it is that cat!
"Thief cat, suffer death!"
Gui Hai slashed his head with anger and looked in the direction of Yun Luo, his eyes about to burst.
Little Yellow Cat:? ? ?
.......
