There is a dragon spring on the tongue, killing people without seeing blood.
In the bedroom, Cao Zhengchun sat quietly in front of the dressing table, looking at himself in the mirror with no sadness or joy.
He is indeed a eunuch, without seed, neither a man nor a woman. But he also wants to live a better life and live with dignity.
As eunuchs, they usually have pale complexion and lips, and they cannot control their urge to urinate when they are newly castrated, so they need to wear makeup and fragrance to cover up their complexion and smell.
Ever since he came to this palace, he practiced hard every day without rest, and step by step he finally climbed to the position of eunuch Bingbi, eunuch, eunuch, and chief eunuch. From then on, even the late emperor did not reprimand him too much.
He got what he always wanted but never had as a eunuch, dignity!
But today the emperor's words about neither men nor women really made him feel sad and depressed.
He has taken care of the little emperor since he was a child. He takes care of everything about food and clothing, for fear of being a little neglectful. The result turned out to be this kind of treatment.
A slave is a slave after all.
Looking at his face in the mirror, his hair was as white as snow, and there were many wrinkles on his face because he smiled too much. Cao Zhengchun sighed quietly.
"Cao Zhengchun, Cao Zhengchun, when will you never have to smile at anyone again? When will you be like Princess Yunluo, laughing whenever you want and crying whenever you want."
Just looking in the mirror like this, Cao Zhengchun was melancholy for a while before he gradually regained his composure.
With his current martial arts skills, he can actually leave the palace directly, take a large amount of money and live in seclusion to hide from the world.
But, can I leave? Does he want to leave?
With the power of the Governor of Dongchang and Jinyiwei, those people will fear and respect themselves. Without these, he might have to worry and be afraid every day when eating, drinking, and sleeping.
When he reached this position and became a sharp knife in safeguarding the imperial power, he could no longer stand down.
Moreover, if you are alone, how can you enjoy it?
At this time, he suddenly thought of his little ancestor and didn't know where he went to play.
But he knew that he was a slave, and a slave should behave like a slave and not interfere with his master's whereabouts.
With his current martial arts skills and the Yuan-Building Pill, he is already very satisfied. Moreover, he likes his little ancestor very much.
Because the little ancestor has a quality that is completely different from everyone else, that is, he looks down on everyone!
Even the princess is equal to him, and they are all little scumbags.
I guess so does the emperor.
If you give someone good food and fun, you will only be a 'good' shit-sweeper at most, but there is no difference in essence.
Isn't this also a different kind of respect? It is the only dignity he can live with.
"Meow~"
His shoulders sank, Cao Zhengchun looked to the right in surprise, his face suddenly turned into a chrysanthemum smile: "The little ancestor is back?"
"Meow meow~"
【cooked rice! 】
"Okay, okay, today I prepared Beihu bad fish for you, little ancestor. This fish has a rich and mellow taste, and the bones are crisp and the spines are not broken. It is a top quality." Governor Cao said happily.
As a shit shoveling officer, he naturally has the consciousness to be such an official. Regardless of whether the little ancestor comes back or not, he will instruct the cook to carefully prepare a variety of delicacies every day, no matter the same.
…
After serving his little ancestor for dinner, Cao Zhengchun was in a good mood. He leisurely came to Tianlao with his hands behind his back to visit the emperor's number one secret agent: Duan Tianya.
It is also bizarre to say that when the great master was caught by Princess Lixiu, he had no strength at all.
Is this Izumo country's secret technique so powerful?
As for him personally checking whether Lixiu was perfect, forget it.
If it turns out that the jade is not perfect, then wouldn't it be a big mistake for the Jin Yiwei responsible for guarding the foreign guests? And the governor in charge of the Jin Yiwei is also a big pot, and I don't know how many people will be killed by then.
Forget it, it's not a big problem, anyway, the wife in the palace has already confirmed it.
In the prison, Cao Zhengchun felt even happier when he saw Duan Tianya covered with scars.
"Duan Daxia, what, how about the warm reception from my Dongchang?"
Duan Tianya remained silent.
As a secret agent, he has naturally received special training. If he remains silent, the enemy will be depressed. The more he screams and the harder he scolds, the happier the enemy will be.
After waiting for a while, there was no response. Cao Zhengchun was surprised: "Come here, use more tricks. Haven't you eaten? You haven't even noticed Duan Daxia!"
"yes!"
After a long time, seeing that Tianya was still silent, his subordinates became anxious.
"Superintendent, why don't you pull off this kid's pants and give him something fresh?" the clever factory guard suggested.
Duan Tianya:......
Guihai Yi Dao:......
Cao Zhengchun was about to nod when he frowned and raised his hand to hit the wall next to him.
"Boom." The one-foot-thick wall collapsed.
"Qiang~" The light of the sword flashed, and the sword struck directly.
Cao Zhengchun waved his hand casually and snorted: "Bad sword? Witherworm's little trick!"
When I looked again after I hit Sandao Gang, I saw that the man had disappeared without a trace, and by telepathy, he had already run more than ten feet away.
It's possible to catch up with his speed, but it's not necessary.
The person coming must be the No. 1 secret agent in the world, and he can just go back and report the good news to his arch-rival Tiedan Shenhou.
He was happy when he thought of the aloof Zhu Tiedan knowing that he was abusing his adopted son, but he was helpless.
"Continue!" Cao Zhengchun extended his orchid finger and smiled: "Oh, by the way, remember to write an execution document, describe every detail to me, and then send it to Hulong Villa.
Let the God Lord take a good look at how peaceful and friendly we in Dongchang are on weekdays. We are all good people. "
Peaceful and friendly? Lord Governor, you seem to have some misunderstanding about our Dongchang and Jinyiwei.
Everyone was silent for a while, then quickly said: "Yes!"
…
A few days later, Princess Toshihide of Izumo Kingdom reported that the risks outside the palace were too high. She, a weak woman, was frightened all day long, so she asked for permission to enter the palace to serve the emperor as a sign of diplomatic relations between the two countries.
Zhengde had just received the Yuan-building Pill presented by Cao Daban at this time. For safety, he first fed one to the wolf dog he raised in the leopard room.
Not to mention the dogs in the Leopard Room, even the solid wood door panels and the ground had holes poked out.
This medicinal effect is good news for men.
When Zhengde heard the news that Princess Lixiu wanted to enter the palace, he gave an order on the spot: Yes!
According to the rules, when a woman enters the palace, even a foreign woman must pass various inspections.
1. Just based on the general inspection of the appearance, it is too tall, short, fat and thin.
2. Then check the facial features and eliminate those that are not harmonious such as ears, eyes, mouth, nose, hair, skin, waist circumference, shoulder width, etc.
3. Anyone with thick and short wrists, enlarged toes or frivolous behavior will be eliminated.
4. Long-term observation, focusing on temperament. Generally, a girl is allowed to stay in the palace for a month to observe her living habits, speaking attitude, intelligence, and character.
Generally speaking, as long as the woman is not too bad and given some money, the eunuch will turn a blind eye to the above points.
The last and most important thing is: drop out!
During the inspection, the woman has to take off all her clothes, pose in various poses, and let the waiter do a thorough inspection of the private parts of the body.
The symmetry of the size of the child's canteen, the shape of the delivery room, the thickness of the decorative hair in the delivery room, the amount of armpit hair, and whether there are hemorrhoids at the back door are also aspects that cannot be ignored.
Generally speaking, girls with hairless or less hairy armpits are considered top quality.
Among them, hairless white tigers and the like are regarded as unknown, and they are generally not allowed to enter the palace.
Cao Zhengchun stood outside Yuxiu Palace, carefully waiting for the results of his subordinates' feedback.
Generally speaking, the Chief Ceremony Supervisor would not personally take care of such trivial matters. But he is different. As long as it is related to the emperor's safety, he will do everything personally and will not leave it to outsiders.
He is an eunuch. If his integrity is in danger, will the new emperor trust a person who served under the former emperor?
"Meow~" The little yellow cat appeared on his shoulder, as if it had been frightened by something. Its big blue eyes were not as lively as before, and they were full of confusion.
Humans really know how to play!
Cao Zhengchun was surprised.
Today's Holy Emperor is lustful. Unlike other emperors who only selected a group of beautiful girls every few years, and even the late emperor only married one person in his life, girls were sent to the palace from time to time.
So this check is a common thing for him.
During previous inspections, the little ancestors would go in together and have fun for a while. Why did they come out all at once today?
And what’s going on with that expression? Isn’t Princess Lixiu too beautiful?
Even though he was a eunuch, he still understood the story of the fish sinking and the geese falling, and the moon closing and the flowers shy.
After a while, a red eunuch hurried out.
"Reporting to the governor, Princess Lixiu said she was unwell and other tests were OK, but she refused to accept the test. She said that according to their customs, no one except the husband can touch the place deeply, otherwise he will die."
Cao Zhengchun stretched out his orchid finger and asked sharply: "Didn't you say that this is the rule of my kingdom? Does she still want to marry His Majesty?"
The eunuch in red was a little aggrieved: "I told you, but Princess Lixiu just put a jade string to her throat and said that Yun country is a weak woman now. If you want their country to stand on the side of Japan, then let's do it!"
Cao Zhengchun was startled and touched his chin.
The Japanese invaded the border many times, and along the southeastern coast, wherever they went, the Japanese pirates raped, looted, burned, and killed, committing all kinds of evil, and they were always a serious concern for the imperial court.
If Izumo Country is really allowed to side with Japan, those civil servants will probably add another serious crime to his history books.
"Wait a minute, I'll go ask His Majesty for instructions."
"yes."
…
Yuxiu Palace.
"This slave is here to meet His Majesty."
Zhengde stared at the girl in front of him. She had a thin layer of makeup on her face, her brows and corners of her eyes were full of spring, and her watery eyes seemed to be dripping with water.
The young emperor was immediately in awe.
"Didn't His Majesty say that Shen is coming? This servant has just prepared to take a bath and change clothes." Yuxiu said softly.
Zhengde waved his hand: "You just go and take a bath, I'm waiting for you here."
"Wouldn't that be a slight on the Emperor?" Yuxiu said weakly, her eyes filled with excitement.
Every move of the girl was pure and charming, and Zhengde was very satisfied.
"I tell you to go, so you go."
"yes!"
Watching the girl leave, Zhengde looked at Cao Zhengchun: "Yuxiu is so beautiful, and she doesn't understand martial arts at all, so how can she have any objections? You can go and guard outside the palace."
Cao Zhengchun was stunned for a moment: "I'm resigning."
Zhengde nodded and stood with his hands behind his back, showing an extraordinary magnanimity.
The Zhu family founded the country with force, and the throne of his family was obtained through Jingnan.
Since he was a child, he loved arranging troops and killing enemies in the school field, so he also developed good martial arts skills.
She is just a weak woman, not to mention that she dare not have any objections, even if she does, he will execute her on the spot today!
He, Zhengde, is the nemesis of women!
After his men resigned, Zhengde waited for a while, looked around, with a smile on his face, opened the door directly and entered Yuxiu Palace, and then went to the bathroom.
Across the screen, Zhengde saw the girl opposite, gently raising her calves along the bathtub. The white wall was like jade, slender and delicate, and her arms and jade neck were looming.
The sound of running water and the weak gasping of the girl as the maid scrubbed her made Zhengde's heart shake.
But when he thought that this girl was about to fall under Cheng Huan, he forced himself to calm down.
Don't be hasty, the beautiful flowers will be more interesting if you look at them more, play with them more and pick them again.
Suddenly, there was a splash of water on his face, and then a jade foot came out from the screen and kicked him to the ground.
Zhengde clutched his chest and was confused: "Who are you?"
Then a girl with a pink belly appeared in front of him, pinched his neck, and a rough male voice came from her mouth.
"Who am I? You fool, you can't even tell whether I am a boy or a girl."
Masanori:? ? ?
You assassins are so good at playing!
"Aren't you, the Izumo Kingdom, afraid of my Ming Dynasty's wrath?" Masanori said angrily.
"Izumo Country? Hahaha, I endured the humiliation and disguised myself as a woman just to get to you, the dog emperor. But you are still stubborn now?
You want me to send you to hell to know the truth? "As he said that, the assassin stepped on Zhengde's face, took out the jade book, and raised his hand.
"Help, help!"
"Rescue? Your men have all been sent outside, who can come to save you and die!" As he said this, he inserted the jade book in his hand directly.
"Boom~" A big red figure rushed in at a high speed, and the awe-inspiring energy went straight to his head.
"Pah~" At the moment of contact, there was only a piece of clothing left on the spot.
Cao Zhengchun was a little surprised. This was the first time he had seen such an escape technique, but he still said loyally: "Your Majesty, my servant's rescue came too late."
Zhengde breathed a sigh of relief, he was just a little bit away from death.
If he was assassinated by a Japanese assassin in this way, tomorrow the historian will definitely say that he had an indulgent relationship with a man and died on the man's belly. He will definitely be a laughing stock for the ages.
Who is this? His intentions are too sinister.
By the way, the rules set by our ancestors about checking before having sex really make sense.
"It's okay! What about the assassin?" Zhengde asked.
Cao Zhengchun felt it for a while, and said with a confident smile: "The assassin has been blocked by my Dongchang's dragnet, and he will definitely not be able to escape."
Zhengde nodded, simply put his hand on Cao Zhengchun's shoulder, his thighs were trembling and said: "Help, help me back."
He was just getting excited, but the girl suddenly turned into a man. Occasionally, at a glance, she was darker and bigger than him, and then there was a line between life and death. This would frighten him.
How can this man look so good while pretending to be a woman? What a sin!
…
