Time passed by leisurely, and in a blink of an eye it was the eighth day of the Lunar New Year.
My father got up early, served the last meal, and then rolled up the portrait.
After a while, grandpa rode in from outside, handed some white couplets to his father, and said coldly: "Post these couplets, let's go get your wife back tonight."
"Dad, did you make a mistake?" My father opened the couplets and found that they were all mourning couplets for weddings.
"That's right! Life is death, and death is life. My father's time has come, so why don't we do this wedding and wedding together. Lai Shun, life and death are destined to be rich and honorable. Don't be sad."
Grandpa then began to explain some things and asked his father to write them down in a notebook.
The father held the pen, tears flowing down the paper drop by drop.
There are many things he doesn't understand, probably because he is born stupid. But my father could vaguely feel that all of this had something to do with him.
"Dad, tell me!"
"Listen carefully, after midnight tonight, when your wedding is over, Dad's deadline will come. When I die, you are not allowed to cry. Someone will bring the coffin at this time. There are eight coffins in total. The coffin bearers There are eight in total.”
"These eight pallbearers will stay in our home until my father's body begins to ossify and they will start enclosing him."
"During this period, many strangers will come over. Some of them are your father's friends before he was alive, and some are enemies. Some of them can even threaten the lives of you and your wife!"
Speaking of this, grandpa's eyes became dim, but there was a hint of murderous intent!
"But it doesn't matter! My father has set up the Five Thunder Tiangang Formation in this house. Except for the eight coffin bearers, no one can get close to the coffin, let alone burn your father's body!"
"After I die, you can resume your normal diet and no longer need to eat sashimi. The safety and daily life of you and your wife will be the responsibility of the people from your grandma's house. This is the agreement between dad and them!"
My father was puzzled and asked: "People from grandma's house? Why haven't I seen them?"
"It's normal that you haven't seen him before, because the opportunity is not there. Moreover, because of your mother's incident, they had a grudge against your father at first. But it is different now. After all, you are the blood of their family, not to mention that you are about to marry a wife and have children! "
Grandpa smiled helplessly, picked up a large bowl of wine, and drank it all in one gulp.
"In the blink of an eye, your mother has been gone for twenty years! It's time for your aunts and uncles to show up. Listen carefully. One of their surnames is Liu, Liu Da, and you call him uncle. The other one is surnamed Bai, and you call her her. Mother-in-law is fine. There are also two little girls who are of the same generation as you. One is called Hu Cuicui and the other is Huang Dieyi. You can just call them sister."
"The last person, whose surname is Hui, is a teacher. You can just call him Mr. Hui."
"These five people will take turns taking care of you from now on. With the five of them here, you don't have to be afraid of any monsters! You just need to shout and they will help you fight out!"
"Besides, it's about your wife..."
Having said this, Grandpa frowned and looked solemn.
"Actually, they are not one person, but two..."
"What?"
My father suddenly stood up in shock.
Grandpa said slowly: "Look at your virtue! Isn't it normal for a man to have three wives and four concubines?"
"But...if anyone knows about it and reports it to the county, he will be jailed!"
"Dad knows! So this matter, God knows and earth knows, you know and I know. These two girls are very special. One of them lives in Yuperii. You just need to wear it around your neck all year round. Her surname is Long. …”
"The other one, her surname is Shen, is a sleeping beauty. It is said that she has been in coma for three years. What you have to do is to protect her every day, help her change clothes and bathe, and you must have sex seven times a month!"
Having said this, grandpa took out an almanac from his bag and handed it to his father.
My father opened it and saw that the date on the almanac had been marked by my grandfather with a red pen.
"You silly boy, your mother is so smart, I didn't expect you to be so stupid... Hey! Even this kind of thing needs my guidance! There is no son in the world who is stupider than you!"
Speaking of this, the grandfather was a little embarrassed, but his eyes softened and he looked at his son affectionately.
"Okay, if you follow the instructions here, it won't take long for Miss Shen to be pregnant with a child."
"But... Dad, if Miss Shen is really unconscious, how can I... how can I take advantage of her?"
"You kid..."
Grandpa thought for a while and then explained: "Miss Shen has a special constitution and needs your yang energy to nourish her. She can only wake up if she is pregnant with a child, you know? Otherwise, within half a year, this girl will definitely die!"
"Now, do you know why the Shen family is so rich but they are willing to marry their daughter to a silly boy like you?"
"The Shen family is also helpless!"
After the explanation was completed, grandpa went to take a bath and put on his shroud early.
When he was about to lie on the bed, his father suddenly rushed in from outside, knelt in front of him, held the bed and cried.
This is the first time in many years that grandpa has seen his son cry so sadly. Because my father was always so stupid and dull in Grandpa's heart. When he was two years old, a fly flew on his face and he didn't know how to get rid of it.
When he grew up, he always lived according to his grandfather's arrangements, often with an expressionless face.
But now, it seems as if all the feelings of a lifetime have been released at this moment.
"Dad? Why?"
"Abba!"
"Why are others waiting for you to live to be seventy or eighty years old, but dad you..."
"You are not even fifty years old!"
"Why?"
"Dad! Did the child hurt you? Didn't it?"
"sorry!"
Grandpa stood up and touched his father's forehead with his hand, his eyes full of reluctance.
"Shun'er, don't be too sad. This is God's will! God's will cannot be violated!"
The father shook his head: "No! I don't care about God's will, I only want dad!"
"Silly boy! This has nothing to do with you. My father is a Taoist. A Taoist will inevitably use Taoism to go against the will of heaven. He has already broken the balance of the three realms. It is reasonable for him to be counterattacked by the way of heaven. .”
Seeing that his father was still crying like a child, grandpa had no choice but to continue explaining:
"Shun'er, have you ever heard about the five disadvantages and three deficiencies? The five disadvantages and three deficiencies mean that we as Taoists can't escape from several causes and effects, that is, being widowed, widowed, lonely, alone, and disabled , and blessing, wealth and longevity!"
"Among them, the word "shou" means life span! Now, you finally know why my father doesn't want you to practice Taoism, right? Everything has its advantages and disadvantages. How can there be anything perfect?"
After hearing what grandpa said, my father felt less guilty and his crying gradually became quieter.
"That's right! That's just right!"
"You are about to enter the bridal chamber in the evening. How would you behave if your wife's family sees you with a bruised nose and swollen eyes?"
"I'm so reluctant to let go!"
"But... there is nothing we can do about it! Lai Shun, daddy is gone, and a man named Bai will come over tonight. He is the son of Granny Bai. You can also call him uncle, and he will officiate your marriage!"
After that, he lay quietly on the bed, covered his chest with the quilt, and closed his eyes.
