Cai Xiaotang was so nervous that she didn't speak, and the only sound in her ears was the messy heartbeat.
The more he tried to control, the more his body became stiffer and stiffer.
Really...this time I really want to be with Li Xiao...
Can she...
Is it really okay...?
Their hot bodies were touching each other. Although they were wearing swimsuits, they seemed to be no different than not wearing any.
"Relax……"
Li Xiao gently kissed Cai Xiaotang's neck and coaxed her in a low voice.
But then I discovered that Cai Xiaotang's eyelashes were trembling slightly, and her eyebrows were tightened, as if... she was enduring something.
"Candy?"
Li Xiao called her gently tentatively.
Cai Xiaotang didn't seem to hear, but panted nervously and hurriedly, with fragmentary images flashing through his mind.
The corridor where the sun doesn't shine, the door being closed, and the intermittent crying of a woman coming from inside.
Cai Xiaotang saw her young self standing outside the door, staring blankly at the room, without moving for a long time.
The crying in my ears seemed to be getting louder and louder, mixed with random sounds.
But at this moment, an inappropriate voice broke in.
"Cai Xiaotang!"
Li Xiao's nervous voice suddenly broke the scene in front of him.
Cai Xiaotang opened her eyes suddenly, and a mist of water had gathered in her eyes.
Li Xiao's heart ached, and he hurriedly bent down to pick her up from the hot spring pool, hugged her into his arms, patted her shoulders comfortingly, feeling vaguely worried in his heart.
He was not wrong.
Just now...her eyes were full of fear.
But... why?
Today it was Xiaotang who obviously took the initiative to think...
Cai Xiaotang lay in Li Xiao's arms, her heart still pounding, and she had not recovered from the emotion just now.
Unexpectedly, she was interrupted again under such circumstances, and her expression couldn't help but become a little helpless and confused.
Sure enough... it's still like this.
There was no way she could make it to the last step.
But Li Xiao...
Cai Xiaotang's ears burned and she felt the burning temperature on her thighs, feeling a little bit regretful.
"Li Xiao..."
She pulled away slightly and looked at the person in front of her apologetically.
"Um?"
Li Xiao snorted softly. Seeing that her expression had calmed down, he reached out and rubbed her hair, and asked gently: "Feeling better?"
"Um……"
Cai Xiaotang pursed her lips, her eyes full of apology and hesitation.
Do you want to tell him about the past?
That was the thing she wanted to forget the most, even her brother didn't know...
Cai Xiaotang was thinking about it when she suddenly heard Li Xiao say hesitantly: "Xiaotang, are you... afraid of me?"
He considered his words and asked slightly carefully.
Cai Xiaotang was stunned when he heard this, and suddenly felt even more sorry.
This is the second time for both of them...
If this continues, Li Xiao's self-esteem may be destroyed by her!
Don’t men care about this kind of thing?
Cai Xiaotang took a deep breath and suddenly held his hand as if resigned to her fate.
"Don't think too much, it's not your fault, it's my own problem..."
She spoke in a low voice. Halfway through her words, she paused for a moment before continuing: "I... have some psychological shadow over this kind of thing..."
"shadow?"
Li Xiao's eyebrows knitted together even tighter in an instant, and he thought of ten thousand possibilities.
I have a shadow over this kind of thing...
Could it be that she had been hurt in any way?
A flash of dark light suddenly flashed in Li Xiao's eyes, and he clenched his fists.
"Sit down and talk..."
Cai Xiaotang took Li Xiao and sat down in the hot spring.
I felt that my whole body was surrounded by hot water, and I felt a sense of security. I continued to speak slowly: "Didn't I tell you before that my mother was forced by my father and used some means to be forced by him? Did you bring it back to the Mu family?"
"Um."
Li Xiao nodded, a little confused when she mentioned this matter.
"Why……"
Cai Xiaotang sighed and suddenly closed her eyes.
Li Xiao didn't urge her and waited quietly for her to adjust her mood.
For a long time——
Cai Xiaotang then spoke again.
"That kind of compulsion... would happen from time to time from the time my mother entered the Mu family until her death... When I was very young, once, I heard crying coming from my mother's room..."
Li Xiao's expression changed, his eyes widened slightly, and he had a premonition of something.
Cai Xiaotang, however, had a calm face, and only her eyes revealed some vulnerability and helplessness that she rarely exposed to outsiders.
As if she thought of something, she lowered her eyes slightly and stopped again.
After a few seconds, he continued: "I didn't know what happened, so I wanted to go over and have a look, but the door was locked, and no one answered the door when I knocked. I was worried, so I stayed at the door. She cried. I stood outside for as long as I wanted. Later, I saw an old man coming out of the room. I wanted to go in to see my mother, but he called the nanny and forcibly took me back to his room..."
"Xiaotang, stop talking..."
Li Xiao held her hand.
Only then did she realize that her fingertips were cold despite being in warm water.
Cai Xiaotang shook his head.
She forced a smile, took the wine glass she had just put aside, and took a sip.
"I have never told anyone these words, not even my brother or the baby knows."
Li Xiao was stunned when he heard this, and couldn't help but feel a little happy, but more importantly, he felt distressed.
Cai Xiaotang adjusted her mood and then pretended to be relaxed again.
"I have not been obedient since I was a child, so from then on, whenever I saw the old man looking for my mother alone, I would hide outside and eavesdrop. Every time, I heard my mother crying. There were also several times when the old man left after he left. I sneaked in to find my mother, and she knew I was outside the door. She warned me in horror not to come back next time, and she wouldn’t allow me to argue with the old man. She told me to pretend that I didn’t hear anything, and then..."
"Later, as I grew older, I accidentally found out why my mother was at Mu's house. I also understood what happened in that room, why she cried, and why I wasn't allowed to go to the old man to reason. I felt disgusting... My biological father turned out to be such a person, and even for a while, I felt that my heart was very twisted..."
"I began to be hostile to all members of the opposite sex. I felt that having an intimate relationship was the scariest thing in the world. At the worst time, if someone of the opposite sex accidentally touched me, my skin would become allergic in patches. Later, I felt that this was inappropriate. Okay, so I forced myself to see a psychiatrist and deliberately squeezed the subway to and from get off work. It was considered... forced desensitization. Then, I really recovered. Even if any pervert dared to take advantage of me, I could beat them up! I thought I was healed and had no problems, and no one could tell that I had any problems, but..."
