Chen Jiaxian would rather be drunk and feel better. She lay on the small bed in the study room, closed her eyes, and her tears couldn't stop flowing down.
She thought she was at peace. But the tears couldn't stop, nor could the black hole of disappointment in my heart.
Her mind was calm, but her body was struggling, screaming, begging for help.
Chen Jiaxian finally sat up from the bed, tiredly opened the takeout app, and ordered a lot of potato chips, cakes and cookies. She needs these cheap, high sugar, high calorie, lots of additives stuff to comfort her, and if not, she will die.
At 3:30 in the morning, Chen Jiaxian returned to the room with a bag full of takeaways like a thief.
I really suck. She thought in frustration, tearing open several packages at the same time, holding the bread in her hands, and took three big bites in a row, choking and shedding tears.
I really sucked.
Chen Jiaxian held the bag, twisted her face and cried silently, swallowed it hurriedly, and took another big bite.
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
…
Through the door, Pan Qiaomu asked calmly: "Are you hungry?"
He didn't let her open the door.
Chen Jiaxian raised her hand and flicked out the lights in the room, saying nothing, pretending to be asleep.
Pan Qiaomu narrated: "The property here is good, and takeaways must be approved by the owner. I put your takeaways in."
Chen Jiaxian looked at the time in disbelief.
Three forty in the morning.
Pan Qiaomu continued: "Yes, the property management company called me at three o'clock in the morning."
Such an embarrassing scene was like a nuclear bomb, which made Chen Jiaxian forget to cry and forget about the bread in her hands. She reached out and turned on the light: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I promise I won't make your room dirty."
Pan Qiaomu said: "The management told me that I ordered a very large portion of snacks for takeout. So, you plan to eat all these snacks, right?"
Chen Jiaxian looked at the food in front of her that had been mostly demolished but had not yet had a chance to eat, and she was embarrassed and said nothing.
Pan Qiaomu was quiet for a long time, and finally sighed: "You use gluttony to suppress your emotions, right? Chen Jiaxian, there is something wrong with your emotions. You are sick."
Chen Jiaxian once again felt like her safe shell was broken with a heavy hammer, and she was pulled from the darkness into the sun. At this moment, her scalp felt numb.
Chen Jiaxian retorted sharply: "What does this have to do with you?"
Pan Qiaomu was still calm: "I told you, I drink a lot of coffee every day. As long as I don't drink it for one day, I will be extremely depressed, yawn, shed tears, and feel depressed. Without coffee, I The world is all gloomy, and I can’t feel any happiness. Oh, this is not a metaphor, but a symptom description.”
Chen Jiaxian slowly withdrew all her sharp thorns: "Coffee? How could that be?"
Pan Qiaomu said: "It is a normal phenomenon for people to overeat when under pressure. There is no need to resist. For me, coffee can help me relieve stress. Maybe you can consider replacing snacks with latte, which will help your stomach and intestines." It feels a lot more comfortable, I don’t have to vomit, and I don’t feel too swollen.”
He discussed it with her seriously.
Chen Jiaxian was silent for a long time: "I don't need you to be extremely kind to me."
No matter how much Chen Jiaxian stabbed her, Pan Qiaomu's voice was calm: "Oh, how do you think I can be so kind to you? Can I help you? Two-way redemption? No, you can't save me, and I can't save you. This No one in the world can save anyone, only you can save yourself."
Chen Jiaxian was speechless.
Pan Qiaomu continued: "Guan Xi and I discussed this issue. We are all troubled by emotions. Yu Bi is the same. In this era, everyone has emotional illness. Emotional illness is not a big deal, and there is no need to cure it. Find With the mitigation method that suits us, we can coexist with it for a long time.”
is that so.
Chen Jiaxian was a little startled. Then, she saw water drops in front of her eyes - oh, she cried again.
She really couldn't bear her tear incontinence and she didn't want to cry.
Pan Qiaomu knocked on the door: "I'm hungry too. I've been looking for you since I got off the plane today. I didn't even eat dinner. Now you're here eating snacks. What should I do? Is this how you thank me?"
After a few seconds.
Chen Jiaxian opened the door.
Pan Qiaomu looked at her very gently and normally, as if there was nothing unusual about the unpacked food on the floor of the room: "Come and sit in the restaurant for a while, I will make you something to eat."
…
Pan Qiaomu walked into the kitchen and reached out to hold a pot that was as clean as if it had not been used. Later, he remembered that the pot was a housewarming gift from Jun Ziyi, and Guosheng had never been on the battlefield.
After a few seconds.
Pan Qiaomu walked up to Chen Jiaxian awkwardly: "I don't think I can cook."
…
Chen Jiaxian raised her red and swollen eyelids: "International students don't know how to cook?"
Pan Qiaomu suppressed his embarrassment and said, "I'm used to hiring part-time workers."
The two looked at each other, feeling suffocated for a moment.
Someone started to find it funny, and both of them started laughing. Chen Jiaxian laughed so hard that she leaned on the table.
After a while, she was laughing and crying loudly.
Pan Qiaomu sat far away on the other side of the dining table and pushed a whole pack of tissues over.
Chen Jiaxian waved her hand, buried her head in her arms, stretched out her hand and took one.
Pan Qiaomu stood up and left, turning off the lights in the restaurant.
Chen Jiaxian sat alone in the darkness and cried heartily.
…
I do not know how long it has been.
How many minutes? Ten minutes? Or tens of minutes?
Chen Jiaxian was lying on the dining table. She heard Pan Qiaomu's footsteps coming again and stood still in front of her.
"Look up," he said.
Chen Jiaxian looked up.
Then he was shocked by the warm light in front of him.
Minaret, apartments, rows of streets, pedestrians, warm rooms, colorful lights, there is a happy family in every room. The warm light source is dim, emitting a hazy halo in the darkness.
It is a Lego model of the entrance hall.
This set of LEGO models is too tall and too big. Pan Qiaomu was able to move such a shocking and warm town as a whole by holding a transparent acrylic base plate with both hands. Chen Jiaxian could not even see Pan Qiaomu's upper body - it was completely blocked.
Pan Qiaomu gently placed this warm miracle on the dining table.
Chen Jiaxian couldn't help but stare, trying to see every room in this town clearly.
Pan Qiaomu coughed softly.
Chen Jiaxian suddenly raised her head and looked at him.
Pan Qiaomu suddenly said without any clue: "Three."
——His dark brown hair has a dry, warm golden texture under the warm light.
"two."
——The amber pupils are very bright, so bright that they are almost transparent. No longer emotionless, but mixed with empathetic tenderness.
"one."
——He stared at the town and at her. He pointed at the model, smiled, and reached into his pocket.
As if hearing a "bang", the colorful little lights suddenly lit up, and the dim town instantly took on a festive atmosphere. It was hot, happy, and noisy, and it reflected in the deepest part of Chen Jiaxian's eyes.
"Look." Pan Qiaomu said gently, "A perfect life."
