She took two steps, and there was the sound of chasing footsteps behind her.
Chen Jiaxian felt the hair on the top of her head move slightly. She stretched out her hand and felt another broken black hairpin on her hair.
Song Zhuo took back her hand and said breathlessly: "Well, that's ok, can you please record an encouraging video for me?" She raised her eyes, with tears on her face, "It's too difficult to find a job. It's really hard to find a job. It’s hard. I really, really, really can’t hold on anymore.”
Song Zhuo suddenly collapsed and cried so hard that he couldn't breathe.
The moon hung thin in the sky, shining silently on the two frustrated girls. Chen Jiaxian remembered that she had just vomited like crazy. She touched her empty stomach and then her itchy collarbone.
"Why are you looking for me?" Chen Jiaxian asked calmly.
"Because you are an elite." Song Zhuo sobbed.
Looking at Song Zhuo, Chen Jiaxian asked coldly: "Song Zhuo, what is your desire?"
Desire, what is it?
Song Zhuo said very firmly: "I must find a job in a big factory and no longer be looked down upon."
But.
Elite is just a pale word, using a bright signifier to cover up the mud on the ground.
Song Zhuo said: "Even if it's just a fantasy, I still want to find a job in a big factory. This is my own desire. I am responsible for both good and bad. I don't want to satisfy the desires of others."
Chen Jiaxian said: "What if you can never get your own desires? What if others force you to get them easily? Do you still have to insist on your own desires? It will be very painful if you insist on yourself."
Song Zhuo said nothing, tears and snot streaming down his face in an awkward manner. The way she cried was not pretty at all, it was very forceful, a bit vicious, neither elegant nor refined.
Chen Jiaxian lowered her eyes and forcibly suppressed the sadness surging in her heart: "I am not an elite. The interview you saw - that is a personal profile. I am just an outstanding intern. I have low education and low income, but the more I get, the better. The cost of living in the city is very high. It costs money to eat and ride in a car. I don’t even dare to socialize easily. I have low self-esteem, I mess up things, and I’m even jealous of my peers. I can’t encourage you.”
Song Zhuo asked: "How did you solve these problems?"
Chen Jiaxian had no expression: "I can't solve it."
She is a mayfly, no matter the torrent of the industry or the wave of layoffs, she is unable to resist.
Chen Jiaxian said very forcefully: "But you can live without solving the problem. I don't care about it, just leave it there. Problems are piled on top of each other. I will continue to live well."
The mayfly that lives and dies can only be a mayfly. Even if it collapses, it will not give up on living this day.
…
Song Zhuo added Chen Jiaxian's WeChat account and sent her a video: "Miss, can I post this video online? I will help you cover your face."
Chen Jiaxian glanced at the video. The two girls in it were very embarrassed. They were not glamorous at all. Not only did they not look good, they even looked a little ridiculous because their postures were too forceful, which was incompatible with the popular sense of relaxation. Her own voice comes from the video:
"——What is your desire?"
It was the first time that Chen Jiaxian saw herself from this perspective. She suddenly realized that this was the real her.
She is not an elite, nor is she glamorous. Not even sunny and cheerful.
But she is a very hard-working, ordinary person.
Chen Jiaxian said: "You can send it, I allow it."
…
After Song Zhuo left, Chen Jiaxian was still thinking about what she said, "I can't encourage you."
Ugly, dark emotions were growing crazily in her heart. Her internal organs were raging, and Chen Jiaxian bent over and vomited again. After vomiting, she felt better.
Isn't it just vomiting?
Chen Jiaxian took out the second can of beer from her bag, pulled the tab away expressionlessly, and poured it into her stomach.
…
Pan Qiaomu slammed on the brakes and fell heavily onto the armchair while his whole body was bound by the seat belt.
He slammed the car door, stepped forward, pointed at Chen Jiaxian and yelled: "Are you crazy? Are you drunk on the roadside? Do you have any sense of safety in your heart? Huh?!"
Chen Jiaxian leaned on the side of the road, supporting her head with her hands, and looked at Pan Qiaomu dully.
Pan Qiao Muhun was almost scared to death.
After he landed in Yuecheng, he found that Chen Jiaxian's mobile phone was turned off, Guan Xiyuben and others were in a meeting and could not be contacted at all.
He rushed to the dormitory and found that Chen Jiaxian didn't go back at all.
Seeing that the night was getting deeper and deeper and no one could be found, he planned to call the police directly.
At this moment, when he saw Chen Jiaxian sitting on the roadside intact, with no scars on her body and her clothes neatly dressed, his heart dropped heavily into his stomach.
Chen Jiaxian said with some effort: "I'll just stay for a while."
Pan Qiaomu put the cell phone clock in front of Chen Jiaxian's nose: "Look what time it is now! If you don't go back to the dormitory in the middle of the night, will you go to work tomorrow?! Don't interns have to clock in?!"
Chen Jiaxian said: "Oh. I need to clock in."
Pan Qiaomu scolded: "So you don't want to be a perfect attendance member?!"
Chen Jiaxian was stabbed in the painful spot by Pan Qiaomu and remained silent.
Pan Qiaomu took Chen Jiaxian's arm and got into the car: "I'll take you back to your dormitory."
He stretched out his hand: "Give me your phone."
Chen Jiaxian put her cell phone, which had long been out of power, into his hand. Pan Qiaomu pulled out the charging cable and plugged it in.
After finishing all this, Pan Qiaomu fastened his seat belt. Seeing Chen Jiaxian sitting blankly in the passenger seat, he raised his eyebrows and shouted, "You don't know how to buckle your seat belt?"
Chen Jiaxian said "Oh" and lowered her head to buckle her seat belt. She couldn't hit the buckle no matter what, Pan Qiaomu couldn't stand it: "Don't move, I'll do it."
He reached over.
Chen Jiaxian pushed him away: "I don't want you to pity me."
With a crisp sound, the buckle closed.
Pan Qiaomu laughed angrily: "Chen Jiaxian, Chen Jiaxian." He gritted his teeth and said, "I'll help you one more time. I'm just a big, stupid, idiot."
Braving his anger, he drove the car very fast and suddenly stopped behind the dormitory. After carefully making sure that no one would see him, he opened the car door and said, "Go back."
There is no sound.
Pan Qiaomu turned his head and saw that Chen Jiaxian had fallen asleep under the influence of alcohol.
so.
At this moment...
Pan Qiaomu reached out and shook her awake coldly: "Wake up, wake up, we're in the dormitory, go back and sleep again."
Chen Jiaxian opened her eyes blankly. Pan Qiaomu pushed her seat belt back and pushed her out of the car: "Go, go, I will give you an approval for field work tomorrow. You can check in when you get up tomorrow morning, and then go home to catch up on your sleep."
He watched Chen Jiaxian's back disappear into the dormitory.
The moon in the distance hangs thinly in the night sky, looking very lonely. At this moment, Pan Qiaomu didn't know what else Chen Jiaxian had lost besides losing the opportunity to go through the interview; but he and she were no longer strangers.
He could more or less guess.
Pan Qiaomu stared at the dormitory, held the steering wheel with both hands, and sighed.
