During the war break, all combatants took advantage of this rare gap to seize the time to rest.
The same goes for Gawain.
Gawain felt that his hands were not his own. When the enemy retreated, he slumped on the ground like a pug, sticking out his tongue and panting continuously. My hands were shaking constantly and I couldn't control them. This is tiring and scary.
Yes, it's scary. Gawain originally agreed to Camelot's invitation to join the Knights, but more because he wanted to bring together Gunslinger and Arthur. He had no interest in being loyal to Camelot at all. He had already planned to pursue her again when she and Arthur were together. If she agreed to his pursuit, he would leave his fief and leave with her. If she didn't Agreeing, he also left his fiefdom and left alone.
It's so free and easy.
To put it bluntly, he didn't have that awareness.
But the problem is that things in the world are always unexpected. Before he even started to bring together Gun Niang and Arthur, the war came. He had no choice but to join the war. It's not really out of any idea of allegiance, it's purely based on inertia and being pushed away.
Participated in confusion.
It was his first time to participate in a large-scale war, and Gawain actually had a little expectation. As a knight, who doesn't want to make achievements in war? Even though Gawain is not keen on these things, the knight's blood still urges him to move forward bravely.
But when the war started, he realized how tender and tender the battles he had experienced before were. Was it chivalry to fight a few gangsters? No! Bloody war is the destination of knights. A knight who has never seen the battlefield will always be just a child who has never seen the market.
When the living beings fell wailing one by one in front of him, Gawain was shocked in his heart... No, it should be said that he had no time to be shocked at all. He had to face the next enemy, one after another, one after another. one. He was numb, and he began to turn a blind eye, mechanically slashing at the next enemy.
When the enemy retreated, his numb nerves suddenly revived. Only then did he realize that he had killed many people, and more people died in that small area. Everything was like a dream, and it was a nightmare!
Now Gawain suddenly realized that his hands were not as steady as he thought, and his heart was not as unruly as he thought.
Just when Gawain was confused, a kettle was handed to him.
It's Kai.
"Drink some water." Kai sat down on the ground without caring whether it was dirty or not. In three hours, Kai charged into the battle at least five times and killed more enemies than he could even count. However, these five charges were far less exaggerated than the first. Kai was afraid of getting lost, so he consciously controlled his desires and backed down if he felt something was wrong.
"What? A little scared?" Kai said, perhaps wanting to stop being immersed in the desire to kill. He was not talking to Gawain entirely to enlighten him, but more because he needed to communicate. This could be regarded as a way to suppress his killing nature, and to prove that he was a human being through communication.
Gawain picked up the kettle and took a deep sip. As a result, his lungs almost froze because there was ice water in it! It's night now, and the temperature is already around minus five or six degrees Celsius. Taking another sip of ice water, it's so cold that it can freeze you to your bones.
Gawain looked at Kai with wide eyes.
Kai laughed: "Drinking some ice water will be good for your current condition. The first time I followed Uther to the battlefield, I used this trick. By the way, I remind you, don't listen to those people Nonsense, drinking to relieve stress is useless! Drinking will only make you more numb. Only this thing can calm yourself and calm your mind."
Gawain was stunned for a moment, and then took another swig. He was not afraid of getting upset. But after taking a big sip of ice water, he felt that his heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidneys were trembling with cold, but after the cold, his hands really didn't shake.
"Taking human life is never a good experience, but reality is reality. The day you become a knight, you should understand that you have to go through this move." Kai leaned on the barricade and looked up at the cold night sky. Today There are no stars, but the moon is very bright.
Gawain didn't think about the deep meaning of Kai's words, he had already calmed down.
"You will be scared when you go to the battlefield for the first time?"
Gawain did not ask Kai about the meaning of his battle. It was useless to ask him, because the two views on things could not be consistent. Kai fights to protect his family and country, but what about Gawain? He protects a shitty homeland, and his homeland is not in Camelot. He feels that these big things are meaningless to him.
As he said himself, he likes to be on the side of the weak. Seeing the women and old men repairing the barricades and positions with difficulty, Gawain feels that his fight has meaning. If he does not protect these weak, they will inevitably die in the forest. Under the knife of the Nords.
As for whether he should be responsible for protecting these women and the elderly, he didn't think much about it. Anyway, he likes it.
I have to say that in terms of mentality, Gawain is better than most people, at least much better than Arthur, that guy who always likes to get into trouble.
"Yes!" Kai said without hesitation.
Gawain looked at Kai unexpectedly. Gawain was easily dissatisfied with others, but he still admired Kai very much. If nothing else, let’s just say Gawain’s most confident battle. Just now, in the scene where Kai rushed into the battle and killed the enemy and fled, Gawain felt that he would never be able to do such a thing in his life. It's so fierce.
But such a fierce man actually said that he had been afraid.
This is nonsense. Kai was just a small detective in his previous life. Even when he was a soldier, he never saw any big scenes. How could such a gunfight scene come about in peacetime? Do you really think those criminals are as awesome as those in movies and TV shows? Are the army and police a joke? It's fine if you don't resist, but once you step on the line, you're really looking for death!
So when he followed King Uther to the battlefield to kill people for the first time, Kai had nightmares for several days. It was much more intuitive to kill someone with a sword than to use a gun. It got better gradually later. People get used to the environment slowly.
Of course, Kai won't tell Gawain about his thoughts, they haven't gotten to know each other that well yet. Although Gawain liked Jilaishu, he was still under pressure from Kai, so he didn't ask further, and the two of them changed the subject in a tacit understanding.
While the two were chatting, Perino was still very conscientious in arranging the follow-up.
As Cenold retreated, Perino directed the men to collect the rubble and Cenold's body. Then they used corpses and stones to block the gap. Although it was not strong, it blocked the gap at least.
Perino is a typical knight, strong in combat, but not proficient in things like internal affairs. But he has one advantage, that is, he is obedient and will do whatever Kai asks him to do. Most knights would definitely resist such a frenzied order as blocking the gap in the city wall with corpses, but Perino followed the order very seriously.
