(Tissue storage.)
My name is Liu Niang. I didn’t use this name before.
The class leader said that he picked me up on the way to the car. The snow came very early that year, and it was snowing heavily, making it difficult for people and animals.
He walked to the riverside in the suburbs and heard the cry of a baby, so he had someone pick it up for me.
The class teacher brought many children, some of which he picked up, and some of which he bought. Later he came to Qiantang and made some money from the juggling troupe, so he bought a yard for more than a dozen of us to live, practice martial arts, and perform entertainers everywhere.
When I remember, my name was Jin Wan, not Liu Niang, and my family had everything from gold pots and pans to plums, orchids, bamboos and chrysanthemums.
It was probably because the class leader of my year had a good business that he gave me such a tacky name.
Maybe I have a connection with bowls. I started practicing Kungfu when I was three years old. I was selected by the class leader and learned bowl bowling skills from my fellow disciples. From then on, when walking, sitting or lying down, he had to carry a bowl with him wherever he went.
"Just remember, this bowl is your meal. If you lose the bowl, you will lose your life!"
The class leader held a cane in his hand and urged us to practice the exercises day after day.
When I was seven years old, I was ready to play. I was young and good-looking, so people loved watching me and said I looked like a doll in a painting, why was I so pitiful.
Because I can make a lot of money for the class leader every time I appear, he likes me very much. Sometimes he will buy me candy in front of all my classmates, hold me in his arms, and say to others: "I love Jin. Wan, she is a lovely person, don’t envy her, you don’t have such a good life as her, her good looks can make people willing to take money out of their pockets.”
"If you want to make money and have a full stomach, you have to practice harder!"
I didn't understand anything at that time, I just sat in his arms, swaying my feet happily, and carefully savoring the sweet taste.
That night, my senior sister, who had always been close to me, slept in the same bed as me and asked me quietly.
Jinwan, you are so beautiful, why don't your parents want you?
I retorted to her, no one knew whether I looked good or not when I first came down!
I have seen a newborn baby. It belonged to another senior sister. She suddenly got pregnant, and within seven or eight months, she gave birth to a baby prematurely. It was really ugly.
It's a boy.
The class teacher did not blame her, but later sold the boy to a family. The senior sister gradually became thinner and disappeared.
The senior sister smiled and said to me, no matter how beautiful a girl is when she is born, because she is a girl, it is better to throw it away than to keep it.
She said that I was an unwanted child. I was thrown out on the outskirts of the city less than a month after I was born. If they wanted me, they could have found a home by throwing me by a well.
I burst into tears at that time. Although I grew up in an acrobatic class, which child here wouldn't envy having a father and mother.
I cried louder and louder, and the class teacher followed the sound. After knowing what happened, he beat the senior sister severely and made her kneel all night.
From then on, my classmates all privately called me "the class leader's daughter" and treated me even worse.
But I don't care, I'm good-looking, and the class teacher dotes on me. As long as I serve the bowl well and make money for him, he will buy me any delicious, fun, or even nice-looking clothes.
At that time, I thought, no matter how good a biological father is, can he have a class leader?
In this way year after year, I was born in Qiantang in the light snow in winter, and grew up performing in various restaurants and alleys in Qiantang city.
When I was thirteen years old, the senior fellow students in my school no longer treated me so badly, and the head teacher also liked me even more.
He often pinched my chin and looked at it for a while. Then he smacked his lips and praised me. It would be great if I could live in a rich family. I would definitely be pampered by noble people.
I was probably born very beautiful, and most of the customers who gave me gifts were men. The women who liked me in the past no longer like me.
Wang Zhu appeared beside me during this period.
He was four years older than me and the tallest among his classmates. When others bullied me, he would scare them and hit them, making me giggle.
I love to laugh, and my class teacher often praises me for laughing as well as an oriole.
By the time I was fifteen years old and had hair extensions, the acrobatic class was already famous in Qiantang. Everyone knew that there was a beautiful girl in the acrobatic class who was a bowler. Whenever I appeared on the stage with a bowler, many people would watch.
Wang Zhu was originally a juggler, wielding a sledgehammer and breaking boulders, but later he cooperated with me, lifting or flipping me over and doing more difficult moves.
I thought I would stay in the acrobatics class for the rest of my life, and when I grew old like the class leader, I might not have to hold the bowl anymore.
But a woman found the class leader and planned to buy me for one hundred and twenty taels of silver.
There was a black mole above the corner of her lips, and the way she looked at people was very different. She covered her mouth with a handkerchief and said with a smile: "This girl has a slim waist and a graceful step. How many men can be charmed by this figure alone!" What a waste in your hands!”
"What's the name Golden Bowl? It's too vulgar, let's call it Liu Niang!"
The class leader agreed to the deal and he was going to sell me to someone else.
I knew that the woman was a madam from a flower house in Qiantang, and she bought me to be a woman who leans against the door and shows off her laughter, but I don’t want to!
I went to the class teacher to beg him. He raised me up just like my father. As long as I beg him properly, he should be reluctant to let me go!
The leader was almost sixty at the time, and his face was as withered as a tree root. His eyes were hidden under his folds, and I hadn't seen the light inside for a long time.
But that day, I clearly saw the strange color in his eyes. He looked me up and down with a disgusting look that was familiar to me.
"Little Wan'er has grown into a big girl, haha."
He smiled so hard that it chilled my heart.
I never thought that such a day would come to me. I burst into tears and had never felt so scared.
Later, Wang Zhu broke in through the window. I saw the water outside and heard the noise. He stabbed the class leader to death, seventeen or eight times in a row, and then he gasped and looked up at me.
He came over and helped me put on my clothes, carried me out of bed, found some belongings in the master's room, and asked me to carry the package.
"Jinwan, let's escape!"
He took me away from Qiantang and told others that he and I were brother and sister.
Those days were the happiest days for me. I didn’t have to hold a bowl and I didn’t have to look at me strangely.
The good times did not last long, Wang Zhu and I were not people who knew how to make a living. We had never spent money so happily. When we came to our senses, there was not much money left from the class leader.
In order to make a living, Wang Zhu began to think of ways to do it. At first he went to the dock to do manual labor, but later he went to the casino for some reason.
I saw with my own eyes that my money was getting less and less and my debts were getting more and more, so I had a few quarrels with him.
I thought that Wang Zhu and I were brothers and sisters who lived and died together.
But in his eyes, I was just meat on the chopping board, ready to be slaughtered by him.
He forced me, ignoring my cries and pleas. The woman lost her innocence, and I had no one to support me. I didn't even have a red hijab, so I became his wife.
He beat me and treated me badly, and the next day he would come to comfort me, kneeling down for me, and slapping himself, making me cry.
I think he should love me. If he doesn’t love me, why would he save me?
Since I marry him, it means marrying a chicken, a chicken, a dog, or a dog. It’s all about fate.
Wang Zhu worked hard and begged me to fight with him. I was actually asked to seduce a man, and he would come out to blackmail me.
I didn't want to at first, but he hit me once, so I had to obey him.
Later, we did more and we couldn't stay in one place for a long time, so we ran around. As time went by, I got used to it.
I helped Wang Zhu make money, and he became nicer to me. As long as I didn't anger him, he wouldn't be angry even if I put my foot in his face.
I feel more and more that Wang Zhu loves me.
Once, when I encountered a problem, the man refused to give me money and was clamoring to report him to the government. Wang Zhu became violent and killed the man, and started to flee again with me.
It was also at that time that we changed our names.
His name is Wang Zhu, my name is Liu Niang, and I am Liu Niang from Lingbao Town.
Just when I thought I would live like this for the rest of my life, I met another person.
Have you ever seen a moth? When I was a child, I often saw moths surrounding the candlelight, flapping their wings and getting closer. Finally, they were scalded to death by the fire and died like dead leaves at the feet of the candle.
I always felt pitiful and pushed open the window to let it fly away, but it kept getting closer to the oil lamp.
I originally thought the moth was pitiful, but after meeting Xu Ling, I felt pitiful.
God, if I could have met him earlier, if I were a serious young lady from a wealthy family, if I wasn't Liu Niang...
What kind of story will I have with him?
But I am just Liu Niang, like a moth trapped in the wind and snow, who has lived for seventeen years before meeting my fire.
When we first met, he was a little dissatisfied with my sudden appearance. He clearly saw that I was beautiful, but he was not overly intimate.
Maybe he is a stickler for rules. But I have seen too many such prude men. In the end, didn’t they still fall under my pomegranate skirt?
My beauty is the source of my confidence, but I can clearly see appreciation in his eyes, but I don't understand why he is so polite.
He came to my rescue despite being sick and in the rain, and broke into the game between Wang Zhu and me. He was so stupid that he didn't realize it at all, and he was always thinking about me.
He was a small businessman with quite an idea of making money. Wang Zhu's prey ran away, so he naturally wanted to use him to fill his stomach.
I was a little reluctant, but I also knew that a few complaints would be all it took. If I really got stubborn, Wang Zhu would beat me.
I am the poisonous empress who weaves a web, and Xu Ling is just a stupid bird. I've caught everything, but I've never caught such a stupid bird.
He was sick, and I took the opportunity to get close to him. He opened the doors and windows to show his innocence regardless of his illness.
I asked about his wife, and he gave a serious answer, saying that his wife was more beautiful than me, and also said such impossible lies as being together for the rest of our lives.
But I really believed it.
He didn't violate my rules in the slightest. He noticed my thoughts and was so frightened by me that he ran home.
I'm both looking forward to his return, and I'm also looking forward to him not coming back.
If he is so stupid, would he be unwilling to give Wang Zhu money? If Wang Zhu wants to kill him too, what can I do?
But he came back anyway, bringing with him a pair of his younger siblings. The two children looked somewhat similar to him, but they were different from him and were very wary of me.
I laughed secretly in my heart, could it be that this stupid bird is really the only one stupid?
Ever since I met Xu Ling, I couldn't help but fantasize in my heart. If there was even a slight possibility, he would not despise me as Liu Niang of Lingbao Town. He would condescend to me and take me home, even if he asked me to be a slave. I'm willing to do it even if his wife pinches her shoulders and slaps her back.
As long as I stay by his side every day, as long as he can say one more thing when he mentions his wife to others: "Oh, by the way, I also have a little maid who warms my feet, and she makes me a little bit affectionate."
I am willing to die.
Wang Zhu's game was seen through by those two kids, and I felt a little relieved. Okay, I can't deceive him anymore. He was the only one in my heart. I often thought about him finding out about this, beating me, scolding me, and staying away from me. Otherwise, take pity on me and take me home.
Wang Zhu beat me and asked me to trick the two children into coming out. If I didn't want to, he beat me.
He's really crazy.
I've never been truly loved.
I am already a sad person, so why bother making Xu Ling sad too?
I coaxed Wang Zhu to drink alcohol, and he died sleeping on the bed. I made several attempts to kill him, but I couldn't.
At least he saved my life. If he hadn't taken me out of Qiantang, how could I have met Xu Ling?
I waited in the courtyard and finally waited until Xu Ling came back. I wanted to tell him the truth first, but my younger brother and sister beat me to it.
Xu Ling was a little surprised, and then he laughed lightly.
He didn't seem to blame me, and a thought arose in my mind that he wouldn't blame me for this. Maybe I...
He was indeed a fool. He refused to leave even after knowing that Wang Zhu was behind the scenes. I had no choice but to tell him about Wang Zhu’s murder. It really scared him and made him want to move away immediately. When he talked to me again, he acted like I It's like a green-faced evil ghost.
He advised me to leave Wangzhu and be self-reliant. I was disheartened. If he didn't want me, where could I go without Wangzhu?
I hid in the room and watched secretly as he left the courtyard with his brothers and sisters, as if this was the last time I would see him, and I couldn't help crying.
I would rather be a willow tree and be planted by him in front of the hall and behind the house. I just want to be able to look at him every day.
She also doesn’t want to be Wang Zhu’s Liu Niang and let him die.
After thinking about it, I decided to fulfill my wish. I waited for Wang Zhu to wake up and I wanted to make peace with him.
I don't know why I was so stupid. I let Wang Zhu's prey go and wanted to reconcile with him. I knew it was impossible.
But I was determined to leave Wang Zhu.
If I really leave Wangzhu and start my own business as the stupid bird said, maybe he can still look up to me and not be my lover, but be my friend and come to see me often.
I am so stupid, just like that moth, for the sake of a trivial hope, I still have to bravely rush forward even though I know it is a dead end.
But I am so happy!
I would rather be named Moth than be the leader's golden bowl or the men's Liu Niang...
I watched with my own eyes the dark red blood flowing in front of my eyes. Before I died, I actually smiled with relief.
This world is too miserable. I won’t be a human being in my next life.
I want to be a tree to provide shade for him when he passes by; I want to be a piece of snow to get into his collar when he is not prepared; I want to be a ray of moonlight to illuminate his night trade path...
