Old man Zhang blinked and asked:
"Is it because the little lady you like didn't come with you?"
Qin Ming shook his head and said with a bitter smile:
"I don't know either."
Zhang Jian frowned and held it in for a long time before asking:
"Then what happened to you after you came to Dingxi? That made you feel this way again?"
Looking at Old Man Zhang's concerned eyes, Qin Ming moved his lips.
At this moment, Qin Ming wanted to tell everything about his inner thoughts.
Tell everything to the old man opposite.
He wanted to tell the old man that when he saw the displaced people under the city, he felt only pity, but no sadness or sorrow;
He wanted to tell the old man that when he saw the injured soldiers, he only admired them, but did not feel any hatred towards the barbarians;
He wanted to tell the old man that in his opinion, both the Tyuhun people and the Dangxiang people were Chinese;
He wanted to tell the old man that he felt that he was just a spectator of history, not a witness, and he had no sense of empathy at all.
It made him feel like everything was unreal, like he was playing a game.
And the people he met in Dingxi, including Miss Song, who he had a relationship with, were all NPCs.
This feeling of disregard for life is so painful.
He didn't want this, but he didn't know how to change it.
Zhang Jian, an old soldier from Longyou, looked even more worried when he saw Qin Ming frowning and saying nothing.
Although he had known the young man in front of him for only two-quarters of an hour, in his opinion, he was a citizen of the Tang Dynasty.
He is an elder, so he naturally regards Qin Ming as his junior.
The young man shouldn't look like this, full of anger, suffering and hatred.
A young man should look like a young man.
Thinking like this, he patted Qin Ming's shoulder and shouted:
"Young man, cheer me up, I'm so lifeless!"
Qin Ming was stunned for a moment and looked at the old soldier with some confusion.
Zhang Jian straightened his back, first patted the worn leather armor on his body, then put the fingers of his right hand together, pointed at Qin Ming, and scolded:
"Young man, although I am just a vulgar martial artist, today I want to teach you a few words."
Seeing the serious expression on the old soldier's face, Qin Ming couldn't help but adjust his clothes, held his hands towards the old soldier, and asked with a smile:
"I don't know Mr. Zhang, how can he teach me?"
Zhang Jian coughed slightly when he saw this, and said solemnly:
"Although I don't know why you are worried, I really can't bear to see you like this."
"Looking at your attire, even if you are not a scholar, you should have read a lot of saints' classics, and you naturally know more principles than I do."
"I, although I am illiterate, I know that we are facing a formidable enemy, so we should rise up to defend our country."
"But what about you! You are young and possess unique skills. You think about how to protect the people and keep the country safe all day long. However, you spend all day thinking about what is there and what is not. Aren't you wasting your time?"
"Isn't it just that you feel like a foreigner? There's nothing to worry about!"
"If you have the ability, then join the court and make the Tang Dynasty look like your hometown."
"If you are not strong enough, then marry another wife and let them give you more children."
"I don't believe it. You have settled down in Longyou, and you still think of yourself as a foreigner."
These words, in Qin Ming's ears, were like a great bell, deafening and enlightening!
His body trembled slightly, he straightened his clothes, bowed to Zhang Jianzuo, and said respectfully:
"Thank you Mr. Zhang for your advice. I've learned a lot."
Zhang Jian, an old soldier, glanced sideways at Qin Ming and snorted coldly:
"You coward..."
........
On the way back to Song Mansion, the words Zhang Jian just said still lingered in Qin Ming's ears.
Qin Ming has also been thinking about what the old soldier said.
The old pawn was right, since he didn't like to be a bystander, nor did he want to be a foreigner.
Then find a way to integrate into the Tang Dynasty, or find a way to make the Tang Dynasty look like your hometown.
In fact, he wanted to come now.
Many things were done in Chang'an before, such as building Qingbei Academy, building cement roads, and making various inventions.
Isn't it also to make Datang become more like the China in memory?
However, those things that Qin Ming did before were just subconscious actions and had no specific purpose.
Now, with the guidance of the old man from Longyou, Qin Ming feels that his whole person is enlightened.
[yes! Since returning to my hometown has become a luxury, let’s turn Datang into the hometown in our memories. ]
[Moreover, I not only want to free up things for future generations. ]
[I also want the Tang Dynasty to unify China, 9.6 million square kilometers, no more, no less. ]
[In this way, in my lifetime, I may not have to watch Chinese people beating Chinese people like today. ]
Thinking of this, Qin Ming couldn't help but smile.
Along the way, Zi Shu, who was carefully observing Qin Ming's expression, couldn't help but breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Qin Ming smiling.
He kicked the horse's belly, approached Qin Ming, and asked:
"Sir, are you okay?"
Qin Ming glanced at Zishu and asked with a smile:
"Do I look like something's wrong?"
Zishu scratched his head and smiled.
"Subordinate, I just saw the old man pointing at the young master and nagging him for a long time. I thought the young master would be angry!"
Qin Ming glared at Zishu and said:
"Tomorrow, take a set of leather armor and deliver it to Mr. Zhang personally. Also, tell him that if he goes to Chang'an one day, he can find me at Xingdaofang."
Zi Shu was stunned for a moment, and then he cupped his hands and clasped his fists.
"Here."
When I returned to the Song Mansion, it was already midnight.
After saying goodbye to Zi Shu, Qin Ming walked into Song Muqing's courtyard.
As soon as he walked into the courtyard, Qin Ming was stunned for a moment.
Just because, although it was already the prime of life, Song Muqing's boudoir was still lit with candles.
Qin Ming thought to himself that maybe the two women were worried that the same mistake as yesterday would happen again, so they didn't turn off the lights.
Then, he thought about his attitude toward the two women this morning, and a trace of guilt flashed in Qin Ming's eyes.
...
