The author is guilty.
I wanted to write about a dream story before. The child conceived by Su Yu and Ye’s mother was essentially one of Su Yu’s nine worldly lives.
It's similar to Meng Hao's letter at the end of I Want to Seal the Heavens.
But later I knew that writing like this would lead to a dead end. Many people can't accept it.
So gave up.
But too many book friends scolded me that those few chapters were meaningless. I actually wanted to write a complete story, but I stopped.
Now it seems that everything is too regrettable.
I've been complaining for the past two months.
Reality and ideals are separated.
The pain of having no money, house prices in county-level cities are more expensive than some urban areas in prefecture-level cities, and much higher than those in several surrounding counties.
The author is always cursing and simply venting.
I live in a county-level city where prices and house prices are under great pressure.
This is my personal tragedy.
I don't know why I have to bear this pressure.
The employer does not provide housing, nor does it provide rental subsidies. Not to mention the poor quality of the housing rented here, which is much different from the county where the court was previously located.
I was also tricked by a local agency, which made me laugh to death.
Come ashore!
Oh, I got it.
Damn you beast, what did you get?
In the end, everything is still as alive as a dog. The author has to admit that I am a dog, I am trash, I am a cow and horse.
The term "social animal" invented by Benzi is really very appropriate.
Treating colleagues with kindness, but in the end being plotted against, I feel like a big fool.
The senior civil servants in the office told me that this is normal because you are in a competitive relationship.
I said that the top position has already been occupied and it is basically impossible to be promoted within fifteen years. Why compete?
Then I understood, it’s not for promotion, it’s just for judging the best, for the title.
Oh, that's right.
Colleague, enemy?
If this is the case, high school entrance examination, college entrance examination, postgraduate examination, public examination, and editing examination.
Young people are the enemy.
I don’t understand whether I am wrong or the world is wrong.
Why are there more and more indifferent people in society?
I think I gradually became indifferent and vowed in my heart that I would never take the initiative to help others again.
But when faced with other people's requests for help, I subconsciously spoke up again, feeling like a fool.
Three views have been formed, and it is too difficult to distort them.
Maybe it's better that I'm full of anger right now. At least I can attack people who are hostile to me without being too cowardly.
Other related households bully people in various ways and pretend to be different.
Before I went to work, my family solemnly warned me that I should keep my tail between my legs and never talk about my family relationships.
Then my relatives also pushed me to make progress, hoping that I would improve myself and be selected for the job.
I still don’t know why I’m under so much stress.
Later, when I was bullied by my colleagues, they asked me to endure it. Say there is no way, some things are destined to be faced.
Xiaoye can understand his parents.
They are bullied more often in society, and sometimes they have no room to reason. But I have a stubborn personality and can be regarded as having a bad temper.
When I encountered campus bullying in high school, it was so extreme that I swore that the other person would bully me again, so I stabbed him directly. I don’t know whether it was my luck or that person’s luck, but the two of them never faced each other again.
I was reading the comments a few days ago, and many people were scolding me, saying that the diva plot was poisonous.
Xiaoye was so angry that he didn't sleep all night and was changing the plot.
Maybe I put too much pressure on myself during this time.
It might be better to admit that you are trash.
Next week I plan to go to court to sue the agency directly. The place I rented does not comply with the law and the rental contract is invalid.
I'm too angry now.
A few days ago, some people praised me and said that I have a good attitude. Today, I talked with some people from Nanchang and they also said that I was very polite. (Currently, I am working with zfb and helping them work)
Am I qualified?
I have no idea.
Yes, I earned nearly RMB 100,000 in two years of college. I paid for the tuition and living expenses for my junior and senior years, including all the expenses for taking the public entrance examination and writing and interview classes.
I should be considered a good son.
But I'm still in a lot of pain.
Extreme pain.
I regret, regret very much, regret extremely.
I found my first female college classmate on my own, and the relationship was almost finalized at that time.
She didn't like my family relationship, so she would have followed me even if I didn't pass the entrance examination, but my family didn't agree. I was under pressure and asked her to come over, saying that she could help her solve her work problem.
But her parents thought it was too far away and did not allow the girl to come. For various reasons, I didn't keep it and it ended like this. (The relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend had not yet been confirmed at that time, but they were almost in talks.)
Looking back now, this is the thing I regret most.
If he had stayed, maybe everything would be different.
After all, he found someone when he had nothing. Life is really ridiculous.
I'm afraid of finding a girlfriend.
I feel like opening my mouth to chat and please others is like killing me.
So when I found someone with a similar personality and a similar personality, I was really happy and felt that a huge life problem had been solved.
Now it's back to the point where it's life-threatening.
I even feel that chatting on time every day is a kind of torture.
The current chat partner should also think so. I just feel helpless due to family pressure.
Frankly speaking, my conditions are indeed good. Especially now.
That female classmate in college probably didn’t tell her family what my family was like.
Maybe I should imitate others and be a villain. Treat other people with ill will.
That kind of life is too simple.
I just can’t do it. I don’t know why I can’t do something that goes against my three views.
Like the niece from last year, I also like her very much. Her temperament and image far exceed my criteria for choosing a spouse.
Her family (more than ten family members) asked me to chase her, and I would definitely succeed. Girls should listen to their family members, and there will be no problem.
I had nothing at that time (in my junior year of college), and I was really grateful to the woman’s elders for thinking so highly of me and treating me so kindly and enthusiastically.
And that girl was really outstanding. If my standard for mate selection at that time was four, her level would be level seven. Even with the addition of temperament and relationship, it would be considered eight.
Coupled with the support of the woman's parents, uncles, aunts, grandmothers, etc., a small amount of betrothal gift is really equivalent to giving away a wife for free.
Don’t be afraid of everyone’s jokes. During those few days last year, I was dreaming about that girl.
It's a pity that Xiaoye is not the protagonist after all, but just a clown.
Does the clown deserve such an adventure?
When I found out that the girl had a boyfriend at school, I asked her to stick to herself and not change her mind because of pressure from her family. What she likes is the best.
Moreover, I took the initiative to delete it later, not wanting to be a stumbling block between boyfriend and girlfriend.
If I did that, I would look down on myself.
I have simple moral feelings.
When I was in court, I went to the prison for a hearing. A woman in her 20s, quite pretty, and her husband had been sentenced to several years. Someone outside was collecting debts and sued us.
Normally, many women would run away from marriage in this situation, but not this man.
When I met my husband in court, the two held hands. The shackled man was jealous, and the woman also cried. She comforted her and said not to be afraid, she and her mother-in-law would find a way to repay him, and everything would be fine when he came out.
My nose felt sore at that time and I was almost ready to cry.
This is the correct marriage I imagined, and I am really envious of it.
After the court session, the woman wanted to spend some time with her husband because prison visits were limited in time and frequency. The judge and I agreed, and so did the prison guards inside. But a few minutes later, the forty-year-old prison guard outside shouted, asking us to take the woman out.
Well, he does play by the rules.
On the way back, I told the judge more than once that that woman was a good woman, which is rare nowadays...
Perhaps there will never be another kind leader like my judge.
I really don’t know where my future will go.
Sometimes I think about it, it would be better to die. If I die, I will have no worries.
Studying, high school entrance examination, college entrance examination, postgraduate entrance examination, civil service examination establishment...
I feel like today's young people are so pitiful.
I have come here, and all that is left is a murmur in the night.
Stupid Xiaoye, be a kind person.
Keep the pain to yourself and give the good side to your family.
It is better for a person to suffer alone than for his parents to suffer with him.
I originally wanted to give these two months' salary to my mother, but unfortunately the staffing department has not yet been settled, so the office can only postpone the payment of salary.
In the government building, this is the only place where I am satisfied.
As a farmer's son, I went to the court and then to the government. I finally met my parents' requirements.
Although... they didn't give me anything, I still want to continue to be a good son.
Because there are some things they don’t want to give me, but they don’t have the ability to give them to me or support me.
Their love for me is pure.
I've always known this.
The soliloquy of a fool in a small southern town.
Friday, October 20, 2023 at 22.25 pm.
I have to work overtime this Sunday and can't go home.
Already scheduled to work overtime next weekend!
Just live on, even if the world is not beautiful, even if you have to bear a house price of 7,000 (4,000-5,000, or even 3,000 is a lot in the counties next door), even if you are asked by your family in various ways.
Growing up, I remember every one of the people who were kind to me, because the number was too small, not many. Including Xiao Kong, Xiao Cheng, Bago in the group, and the Hanhan whose family owns a supermarket (although you haven’t helped me, you are kind, I can feel it)...
Good night, today's 5600 update.
Don't know when it will be finished. (End of chapter)
