Meng Yao had never thought about this question, and she was stunned for a moment when Xu Yao asked.
Probably due to family reasons, she had never particularly longed for love, let alone marriage. When she was very young, she heard Meng Yuanshan recall the love story between him and Song Lan. They fell in love freely, got married and had children at the right age. It sounded very ordinary, but Meng Yuanshan always said it with a proud tone every time he talked about the past. : Your mother was very beautiful when she was young and had many suitors, but in the end it was me who beat them all and impressed her.
At that age when she still loved listening to stories, Meng Yao felt that her parents' marriage was happy.
Later, as she grew older, her relationship with Song Lan became more and more tense. For a while, she was more willing to get close to Meng Yuanshan who was not often at home. At least she would not feel depressed when Meng Yuanshan was there.
But occasionally looking at Song Lan's hard work, she would wonder whether Meng Yuanshan was qualified as a husband.
She no longer thinks her parents' marriage is happy as she did in the past. In fact, Meng Yuanshan and Song Lan spend less time together and more separation. Song Lan takes on more responsibilities in the family, and as a husband, Meng Yuanshan can give Song Lan everything, whether it is care or care. There is very little else of substance.
She understands more and more that one person can get very little from another person. Love and marriage are not necessities in life. Those who can handle love and marriage with ease are capable people.
She had not deliberately imagined what kind of partner she would find in the future, and she was indifferent to whether that person would appear or not.
She has liked a person since she was so old. That person was tall and thin, with beautiful eyebrows. He didn't smile often when he was young, but his smile was very good-looking. He had slender fingers, whether he was spinning a basketball or holding a pen to write a question. All very pleasing to the eye. He is liked by many people, he is high-spirited and gentle, he is proud but not arrogant, and he is alienated but still graceful. He has good grades when he is studying and has strong abilities after work. He has helped many people and is the direction for many people.
If he is used as a standard, probably no one else can meet Meng Yao's requirements.
After all, there is no second Xu Yao in the world.
Meng Yao smiled, and she answered Xu Yao: "No, I don't have any specific standards."
Xu Yao looked at her and Meng Yao said: "Standards are actually illusory. Standards are not so much set up for others as they are used to remind ourselves."
Remind yourself what you want and what you don’t want.
What's more, there may be one or two people in your life who appear to break your standards, but you still accept them willingly.
Emotions are the most uncontrollable things.
Xu Yao found this sentence very interesting.
If there are no specific standards and he can't like it, just let it be. In the development of a relationship, each other's feelings are very important.
The sun is very warm, and it makes you feel sleepy and comfortable when it falls on your body.
They sat together, and the distance between them was not enough to accommodate another person. When the wind blew, Meng Yao could still smell the faint fragrance of grass and trees.
In such a pleasant and comfortable environment, Xu Yao suddenly asked: "By the way, how is the matter with Zhang Ping's parents?"
Meng Yao suddenly woke up.
She turned around and saw that Xu Yao's expression was no different, as if he was asking a casual question.
But Meng Yao didn't feel relaxed.
Regarding the topic of Zhang Ping's parents, she thought they would never mention it in front of each other again.
After all, the last time we talked about this topic was not a pleasant one.
Meng Yao remembers Xu Yao’s words: Respect the fate of others
I also remember what he said: We are powerless to control the fate of others.
It's not that Meng Yao couldn't accept these two sentences, or that they were said by Xu Yao, but at that moment, she suddenly realized her naivety.
Of course Xu Yao still remembers what he said.
He has a clear understanding of himself. He has seen the joys and sorrows in this world and is not obsessed with happy endings in the traditional sense. He is not great, nor does he have the ability to save others from dire straits.
They haven't contacted each other for a while since the last time they talked about this topic.
Meng Yao was inevitably a little bit evasive about mentioning this matter again today.
But escaping is a sign of incompetence.
Meng Yao shook his head and said, "I didn't hear anything else happened after that. Zhang Ping went to school as usual every day."
Xu Yao nodded.
Meng Yao didn't know what to say and was silent for a moment.
Xu Yao suddenly smiled: "There is a question I really want to ask you."
Meng Yao: "What?"
Xu Yao paused: "Will I make you feel disappointed?"
he asked seriously.
Meng Yao was startled for a moment, and instantly understood that he was referring to Zhang Ping, and almost subconsciously answered: "No."
Xu Yao was stunned for a moment because of her unhesitating attitude, and laughed: "So sure?"
Meng Yao didn't mean to be joking at all. She looked at Xu Yao as if she was telling a fact that would never change, and as if she was making a solemn promise: "I will never be disappointed in you."
This sentence is too decisive. Xu Yao himself was a person who would not say forever easily, and he felt that Meng Yao should be the same, but when she used the word forever to him, Xu Yao did not question it at all. Instead, he felt that a place in his heart was shaken. He was speechless for a moment. He looked at Meng Yao. After a while, he smiled and said, "Meng Yao, are you applying too much filter to me?"
Meng Yao looked at him and smiled, his face a little hot.
She looked away and pretended to be calm and said, "I have no filter for you."
Xu Yao smiled again.
Meng Yao didn't see it.
They suddenly lost contact a few days after Zhang Ping's incident. Xu Yao was worried whether she was disappointed in him. He didn't know that Meng Yao was also worried.
If Xu Yao hadn't mentioned this matter, Meng Yao would most likely ignore it and not mention it again for a while, but since the conversation has reached this point, let's just talk more openly.
Meng Yao plucked up the courage to ask, "Am I being irrational?"
Xu Yao didn't know that Meng Yao still had such doubts about herself, so he didn't answer yes or no. "
Frankly speaking, sensible people are indeed more appreciated. But people are not made up of cold formulas. People have emotions, and it is inevitable that there will be times when emotions call the shots. If a person always maintains rationality towards you, in addition to her strong self-control ability, it also means that she excludes you. You cannot cross her psychological defense line and cannot enter her heart.
Therefore, Xu Yao said: "If you are always rational, then I may be very frustrated."
Meng Yao didn't quite understand the meaning of this sentence and looked at him in confusion.
Xu Yao told her: "At least in front of me, you don't need to stay rational all the time. You can do whatever you want or say anything. I hope I can always be the confidence for you to be free and easy."
This passage is very straightforward.
Meng Yao looked at him blankly, Xu Yao lowered his eyes and looked at her. His eyelashes were very long, but they couldn't block the tiny light in his eyes.
Meng Yao's heart beat so fast.
It was too rare for her to hear someone tell her that he would be her confidence. In her memory, only her grandma would tell her with such certainty. Meng Yao could hardly resist the raging emotions in her heart.
She moved her eyes hastily and inadvertently saw the two shadows of her and Xu Yao on the ground, so close and extremely intimate. She thought of many years ago, when she and Xu Yao went to buy drinks and walked on the road one after another. She despicably took a photo of Xu Yao's shadow with her mobile phone. That single shadow photo represented the time when she was sixteen years old. She has always cherished the intersection with the boy she liked. Today, many years later, she no longer needs to deliberately keep a distance from Xu Yao, lest he find out her thoughts, and she no longer needs to secretly record things related to him. They sit side by side, within arm's reach, Obviously they are both people who don't like to say forever easily, but they promised each other forever in the school where Xu Yao lived. Meng Yao can be sure that this scene, like many other moments related to Xu Yao in the past, will be remembered by her forever.
The reason why Xu Yao said that Meng Yao didn't need to stay rational in front of him was because a close relationship was inclusive. It didn't only accommodate the good and happy parts, it had a healing function and would heal the wounds. It's not about salvation, but it can protect your vulnerability.
It's like an exclusive space where only two people in a close relationship exist, but there is always sunshine all year round.
Xu Yao's words sounded like a confession. Meng Yao opened his mouth, not knowing how to respond.
If it's a simple and direct "I like you", then she can say "Me too".
"I hope to always be your inspiration for being free and easy" is not an exact statement of love after all.
In this matter, Meng Yao didn't like to have any room for other explanations.
Xu Yao is not so impatient, expressing his feelings and Meng Yao's acceptance are two different things. There are many forms of feelings, and it is not a bad idea to proceed step by step.
Meng Yao didn't say anything. It was a lie that Xu Yao wasn't nervous at all. So what if he is a proud man? It's no different when he meets someone he likes. He didn't want to burden Meng Yao, so he changed the subject seemingly easily: "Do you want to continue walking? Go shopping again?"
Meng Yao stood up, and Xu Yao still acted like a living navigator who was conscientiously introducing the school's buildings to her, but Meng Yao wasn't listening so attentively.
Passing by the library, Xu Yaocai and Meng Yao said that this was the holy place for confession in their school. They both looked at it at the same time and quickly moved away at the same time. The library is not open to the public, and it is not suitable for visiting. They were about to leave, but suddenly they met Xu Yao, a senior who stayed in the school for graduate school, and had to stop to say hello.
"Why did you come back to school today?" Senior brother, who was familiar with Xu Yao, asked him.
Xu Yao said: "Come back and take a stroll."
"Have you ever gone to see Teacher Li? He is thinking about you all day long."
Xu Yao smiled: "No, I'll see him another day."
They were reminiscing about old times, and Meng Yao couldn't stand to disturb them, so he deliberately walked away.
The senior brother chatted with him for a few words, but it was still gossip. He glanced at Meng Yao a few times, lowered his voice and asked Xu Yao: "Is that...?"
Xu Yao turned around and saw that Meng Yao was staring at a tree with great interest. She was not far away and could hear them clearly.
Xu Yao withdrew his eyes and said, "Friend."
"Friend?" The senior brother raised his eyebrows, not quite believing it, and laughed inexplicably.
However, Xu Yao has never been someone who explains too much about his private matters, and it is not appropriate to ask too many questions when a girl is present.
The senior brother looked at the time and said: "Okay, I have something to do later. You go shopping with your friend first, and we will get together someday when we have time to go back to school to see Teacher Li."
He emphasized the word "friend" and deepened his tone.
Xu Yao smiled and nodded. The senior brother glanced at Meng Yao again. He didn't step forward to say hello. He patted Xu Yao's arm with a book and left first.
