Meng Yao had no way to judge whether Zhang Ping's mother, who came here because of love, was stupid. She also couldn't prove whether poverty would really kill love.
She only knows that everyone has different ideas, and many things and decisions are difficult to prove right or wrong in the present. Denying the past does not necessarily mean that you are wrong, but because you regret it.
Zhang Ping's mother sent her to the intersection. Meng Yao was walking alone on the field ridge. She saw the purple-blue gentian flowers again, and Zhang Ping's stubborn and childish little face flashed in her mind.
Back at school, Meng Yao went straight upstairs to his dormitory. The campus was full of laughter during school hours, but it was too quiet after school.
Meng Yao sat down at the desk and took out a piece of sketch paper from the drawer. She wanted to calm down quickly, recalled the appearance of the gentian flower, and began to draw on the paper.
I also habitually write down today’s date.
After stopping writing, Meng Yao looked at the drawing paper for a while and put it away.
Meng Yao took out her phone, and the unlocked phone page showed Baidu. At that time, she told Zhang Ping that she wanted to look up the flower language of gentian flowers, but because the signal was not good, the search results were not displayed. There was a "reload" option on the screen, but Meng Yao did not click it, but directly exited the page.
She had already assigned meaning to the gentian flower in front of Zhang Ping. As for its true flower language, Meng Yao thought, that was not important.
In the evening, Meng Yao received Xu Yao's WeChat message and asked her in a seemingly normal way: Are you busy today?
Since the WeChat chat last Saturday, she and Xu Yao have been in contact occasionally in the past few days. After receiving Xu Yao's WeChat message, Meng Yao is no longer as nervous as before. But Meng Yao was startled by the words "very busy" today, and then she remembered that after Zhang Ping's fight happened today, she hadn't clicked into Moments to see it.
She clicked on Xu Yao's profile picture and went directly to his Moments homepage, and found that Xu Yao had posted messages at noon today and half an hour ago.
One is a work desktop shot at noon, and the other is a night scene shot while sitting in a car after get off work. Meng Yao looked carefully, and it could be seen from the post at noon that Xu Yao seemed to be very busy as well. She liked the two posts respectively.
She returned to the chat box and replied to Xu Yao honestly: A little bit
Asked again: Did you just get off work?
Xu Yao seemed to be waiting for her message. He came back two seconds after Meng Yao's message was sent: Well, what's wrong?
The speed was so fast that Meng Yao couldn't help but be stunned for a moment.
Perhaps because he felt that the expression was not very clear, he added: What activities are there at the school today?
Xu Yao asked this for a reason. The teaching workload of Sunshine Primary School is not very heavy, but occasionally the school will be busy when organizing some activities.
Meng Yao hesitated for a while whether to bring up the matter of Zhang Ping with him.
She really wanted to hear Xu Yao's opinion on this matter.
It is strange to say that she has a kind of trust and dependence on Xu Yao that she has never had with anyone else. In her heart, she feels that Xu Yao can solve all the problems that she cannot solve.
Xu Yao is strong and powerful, but also a gentle and tolerant person.
Meng Yao thought for a while and typed slowly: Do you still remember the last family we visited during our home visit?
Meng Yao reminded: The child of that family whose mother is very beautiful and whose father is very tall is named Zhang Ping.
Xu Yao said: Remember, what happened?
Meng Yao: Zhang Ping had a fight with another classmate in class this morning. I sent him home after school in the afternoon.
Meng Yao briefly mentioned Zhang Ping's fight and the reasons why she sent Zhang Ping home, focusing on what Zhang Ping's mother said to her on the road.
Perhaps because she felt that the retelling would become unobjective, she almost sent Zhang Ping's mother's words to Xu Yao intact.
The information is a bit long.
While Meng Yao was waiting for Xu Yao to read, he tapped his fingers on the table a few times anxiously.
Xu Yao spent longer reading than Meng Yao imagined.
Just when Meng Yao couldn't help but wonder if he was reading the message, Xu Yao's message was sent over. He did not express his opinion immediately, but asked Meng Yao: Did what Zhang Ping's mother said have a profound impact on you? ?
Frankly speaking, Meng Yao often felt that Xu Yao had the ability to see through her thoughts.
She didn't want to admit it, but the fact was exactly what Xu Yao said.
Denying that it was too false, Meng Yao reluctantly said: A little bit
The word "reluctantly" is very inconsistent when it comes to Meng Yao. Her personality is actually very distinct. It is very clear whether she is or is not, whether she wants something or not.
If you are familiar with her, you will be surprised by the closeness she subconsciously shows.
But at this moment, even Meng Yao himself didn't realize the changes in her.
As for the impact, it was more than "a little". Meng Yao was very upset because of this incident.
She may be too indifferent. After hearing the story of Zhang Ping's mother, she could not sympathize with this beautiful mother.
Emotions surged, and Meng Yao couldn't control it. She typed: Zhang Ping's mother regrets her original choice.
Meng Yao: But why should Zhang Ping bear this regret?
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Meng Yao asked: Why is it the child who suffers in the end?
Meng Yao lost control of his emotions, and his words were a bit extreme.
She sent the message out in one fell swoop, only to regret it soon after. This information is not very appropriate. She has personal emotions in it. Xu Yao is not a trash can, so there is no reason to digest her emotions.
She moved her fingers to withdraw.
But Xu Yao's message has come back, and he said: Well
This "um" strangely calmed Meng Yao down, because she could feel from the word "um" that Xu Yao was listening to her carefully.
But listening doesn't mean you agree.
Xu Yao said after saying "hmm": In her life, she has the right to regret
Xu Yao: Everyone should learn to love themselves first, and putting their own feelings first is the most important thing. I think you think so too. We call her Zhang Ping’s mother, but this is not her only identity.
After a pause, Xu Yao sent the next message: Besides, even if she stays with Zhang Ping, will Zhang Ping grow up happily? As time goes by, will Zhang Ping's mother unknowingly put pressure on Zhang Ping because of her unwillingness? Will Zhang Ping one day feel that he is a burden to his mother? Will he feel more pain and depression because of this?
Question after question woke Meng Yao up.
Xu Yao's words are thought-provoking and resonant. This is how Meng Yao grew up.
She suppressed the pain for a long time because of Song Lan's self-righteous sacrifice.
Regarding Zhang Ping's mother, Meng Yao believed that she was from the perspective of a child. She only thought of the pain of being left behind, but she never thought about what kind of situation would result from reluctantly staying on the premise of sacrifice.
Many years later, will Zhang Ping be the same as she was back then?
Meng Yao didn't have a definite answer, but she always remembered the feeling of being threatened by the so-called "payment".
That was once her shadow.
When she was recalling the past and thinking, Xu Yao sent another message: She is a mother, but she has no obligation to be a "great" mother who sacrifices herself for her children, right?
This "right or not" carries a patient intimacy.
It was as if the window of a room that had been dark for a long time was suddenly pushed open, and the sunlight came in, warm and bright.
Meng Yao was illuminated by that beam of sunlight and softened involuntarily. Breaking away from the initial personal emotions, Meng Yao agreed with what Xu Yao said. Intellectually speaking, she and Xu Yao had the same idea.
She said "hmm" and typed: I just think
What do you think?
Emotions cannot be completely thrown away.
Meng Yao sent out this half of the sentence, but didn't know how to complete the other half.
——Zhang Ping is pitiful.
This was her first reaction.
Meng Yao used to envy confident and generous people, whether it was Song Siqi or Xi Rou. There were times when she wished she could be that kind of girl.
She is not the only one who has problems with her original family, too many people are trapped in them. Because of this, Meng Yao hopes that every child can grow up in true love and grow into the best possible person, neither humble nor arrogant, calm and unhurried.
Meng Yao had actually thought carefully about why she liked Xu Yao a long time ago. Was it just because he handed her an umbrella on a rainy night?
no.
It's because Xu Yao has something that Meng Yao has always wanted to have. Meng Yao likes the way he shines, so she can't help but chase him.
She didn't add the last part of the sentence, so Xu Yao took the initiative to ask: What do you think? Is it pitiful?
Xu Yao understood her so well, Meng Yao said: Yes
Meng Yao is not a weak person. Xu Yao knew it when he looked into her eyes when he saw her at the high-speed rail station on the day of their reunion. Time is really a magical thing. Xu Yao would recall his first meeting with Meng Yao several times after their reunion. Under that heavy rain, Meng Yao was like a flower in the corner, destroyed by the storm, but would not fall.
That happened many years ago, but Xu Yao felt that every time he recalled it, that scene became clearer and clearer in his memory.
Xu Yao admired her tough look and was also happy to see her show her soft side in front of him. Xu Yao said: It is very pitiful, but everyone has their own lessons in life. Respect the fate of others
Meng Yao is actually a bit idealistic, and there is nothing wrong with that. But one day, when she really encounters a situation that collides with reality, it may be painful.
Xu Yao suddenly said: Do you still remember that when we came back to eat hot pot on the day of the home visit, Feng Xiao mentioned that there was a student who had a baby with a defect?
The topic suddenly changed. Meng Yao reacted for a while before answering: Remember
Xu Yao said: The reason for the children's defects is that their parents are closely related.
Meng Yao looked at this text message and was surprised. She could not imagine that such a thing existed in this era.
Xu Yao is not surprised: there are many such things in mountain villages. Because the place is remote and poor, "starting a family" is a difficult task for many people. Their thinking is lagging behind, and they value the inheritance of the family line. Therefore, there are many examples of close relatives marrying.
Xu Yao said: There are many poor people, people with limited thinking, children with defects, and women who regard fertility as a reflection of their own value.
Xu Yao: So Meng Yao, we can do very little in the face of other people's suffering, and the help we give them is minimal, because we can't save others, and we can't do anything about other people's fate.
Meng Yao stared at this text blankly.
Xu Yao is very special to Meng Yao.
Meng Yao thinks that he is a very warm person, and he always tries his best to help people around him. Meng Yao thinks that people like Xu Yao can do everything well, so she always thinks that Xu Yao is powerful. .
Meng Yao never thought that Xu Yao would say the words "powerless".
She suddenly remembered that Xu Yao had told her frankly that he only supported the students of Sunshine Primary School because of temporary sympathy. He was very uncomfortable when he first came here.
Meng Yao realized belatedly that she seemed to have seen the back of the moon.
