"Where's the banana...?"
Mei Feng was making breakfast when she noticed that the banana on the windowsill was missing.
"call…………….."
There were bursts of snoring in the room.
Meifeng searched around but couldn't find it. After thinking for a moment, she walked directly to Tianyi's room.
Looking at the big bag propped up in the middle of the quilt, he angrily opened the quilt with force, picked up one ear, and shouted loudly.
"Hide the banana under the quilt again..."
"Oh... don't pinch me, don't pinch me, I feel very unhappy if I don't have a pillar to hold up the sky every day!"
Touching the red ears, Tianyi said with a playful smile.
"Do you really think of yourself as a man?"
Looking at her 8-year-old daughter, Meifeng was angry and funny.
Rubbing his eyelids, Tianyi sat up and pulled off the banana hanging on the rope.
He peeled off the skin and took a big bite. He chewed it and said with a smile.
"Wouldn't it be safer to have someone with a handle at home?"
Looking at Tianyi sitting cross-legged on the bed with her naked buttocks eating a banana, Meifeng poked her between the eyebrows with her index finger and shook her head helplessly.
"My sense of security comes from your transcript. Do you feel confident in today's final exam?"
"It must be true. For talented students who have graduated from Harvard, why don't you answer elementary school exams with your eyes closed and your feet?"
"You go to Harvard every day and don't even know what Harvard is? Where did Harvard come from in Four Seasons City? You are 8 years old, and you still sleep with your butt naked every day, with bananas hanging from your crotch. If word gets out, the neighbors won't be able to stab you in the back? "
Meifeng angrily took out her underwear from under the pillow and put it on Tianyi's head.
"Don't worry... My backbone is strong enough. You can poke them casually. If they don't understand, I have to teach them how to poke them, haha..."
Pulling off the briefs with the Superman pattern on them, Tian Yiji reluctantly put them on.
With bare feet, he picked up the men's school uniform from the stool beside the bed.
"Bring the milk in, then wash up and eat. Don't be late for the exam today..."
As soon as she folded the quilt, Meifeng hurried to the kitchen to turn off the fire.
"………………"
Stepping on her faded sneakers, Tianyi opened the door.
As soon as he went out, he bumped into Wang Pipi, the naughty kid from next door.
The two came face to face and almost missed each other.
As soon as Wang Pipi saw Tianyi, her eyes began to dodge, and she ran away with her schoolbag on her back.
Seeing Wang Pippi running away with his buttocks between his legs, Tianyi felt that he must have done nothing good.
When I opened the milk box and took a look, it was true.
Two black fly corpses floated on the snow-white milk.
This is not the first time...
Ever since Wang Pipi came last in the proficiency test, the teacher would often talk to him about herself.
Wang Pipi felt resentful in his heart and often waited for opportunities to retaliate against Tianyi.
Of course, the reason why he dared to act so boldly was because his mother was instigating him behind the scenes.
Tianyi opened the milk box at Wang Pipi's house and found that the milk was still there.
Probably out of revenge for himself, he even forgot to eat breakfast.
Tianyi quickly put the two bottles of milk into his trouser pocket, and stuffed the milk with the fly corpse back into the milk box at Wang Pipi's house.
Just as he was about to close the door and enter the house, he glanced at the flowerpot at the door.
I found a pool of yellow and foamy liquid surging in the flower pot.
I thought to myself, it would be great if Huang Pipi could study as diligently as Zhaoxi, and the teacher wouldn't always compare herself with him.
It was really difficult for him to send flies and urine this early in the morning.
Tianyi took out a large syringe from under the flowerpot, carefully pulled out the precious child's urine from the flowerpot, and drew out a large tube full of urine.
Holding the syringe, Tianyi walked to the clothesline in the stairwell and looked at the new school uniform that Wang Pipi's mother had just washed for him, which was a syringe.
In an instant, yellow marks with large circles and small circles appeared on the snow-white school uniform.
After seeing the masterpiece, Tianyi nodded with satisfaction, hid the syringe under the flowerpot again, closed the door and entered the house.
Since the flowers in front of her house were often burned to death by urine alkali, Tianyi spent 1 yuan to buy a syringe from Mrs. Li at the community health center, specifically to deal with Wang Pipi's problem of donating urine every morning.
"Lao An, drink quickly, the milk is particularly fresh today, hehe..."
Tianyi smiled evilly, took out the milk from his trouser pocket, put it on the table, picked up a bun, and was about to stuff it into his mouth...
"Have you brushed your teeth? Just put it in your mouth?"
"Well……………."
Tianyi sadly put the buns back on the plate and walked into the bathroom.
Looking at the rusty mirror on the wall, looking at that strange yet familiar face.
I wanted to live a normal life, but I didn’t expect it to be so ordinary...
Tongzilou...
A small room less than 50 square meters...
You need to line up to dry clothes...
Living expenses cannot exceed 10 yuan a day...
There is a frizzy pineapple head in the mirror, with a small braid on the back of the neck...
Very much like a homeless wild child in the post-Qing Dynasty...
Fortunately, my face is passable...
A high nose bridge, a pointed chin, thin lips, and a pair of melancholy eyes.
God seems to have given me something that I didn't have in my previous life, which helped me regain some sense of balance.
"gone…………."
Tianyi picked up his schoolbag and stuffed a big bun into his mouth.
"Wait a minute... take the lunch box and milk with you for drinking on the road. Remember to bring the milk bottle back. You can get a refund..."
Meifeng stuffed the iron lunch box full of steamed buns into Tianyi's schoolbag, and stuffed the milk into the water grid outside the schoolbag.
"As you command, Queen Mother..."
Tianyi snapped her fingers to her mother and ran out of the door with a smile.
During the morning rush hour, there are the most people on the bus, and Tianyi is like a sponge, changing its shape all the time.
I was forced to smell the smell of farts, bad breath, and off-brand perfume.
Suddenly, along with a strange sound, there was a strong smell of gas cans.
"puff………………"
A middle-aged man in his 40s was holding the ring on the roof of the car with one hand and digging at his fat butt with the other.
After picking out her beauty, she rubbed her nose twice with the same hand, and finally, as if nothing had happened, she stretched that hand towards the front of her body, a lady in a short skirt.
"Do you want to touch her butt?"
Tianyi flashed her big eyes and looked at the man with a cute expression.
The man was confused by the sudden question. Before he could stop, the woman in front of him slapped him back.
Snapped………………
"Stinking rogue!"
The woman pointed her finger at the seemingly gentle man with glasses and cursed loudly.
The instant reversal made the bus go crazy for a while...
Everyone poured all their early morning anxiety onto the man...
The gentlemen began to push and push the man, completely taking out his anger on the man.
Women also began to point fingers at men and vented their unsatisfactory marriages on men.
Attempted indecent assault...
The man was so ashamed that he got off the bus at the next stop, covering his face that was red from being beaten.
"Come... little kid, come to Auntie. Thank you just now for helping Auntie catch the gangster."
The woman found an empty seat, hugged Tianyi on her lap, and pinched Tianyi's chubby little face.
"Hehe... You're welcome, Auntie, this is what I should do!"
Leaning against the woman's breasts, sitting on her elastic thighs, feeling the jasmine-scented breath, and looking at the street scene gradually passing by outside the window, Tianyi suddenly felt that life for ordinary people didn't seem that bad after all.
As soon as he walked to the school gate, Tianyi saw Wang Pipi standing next to the school bully Zhang Dashuan, muttering something in a low voice. Zhang Dashuan kept nodding.
Seeing the two people looking at him with evil smiles on their faces, Tianyi walked over with doubts.
"An Tianyi... I heard that you like to hang bananas on your crotch when you sleep at night?"
According to Zhang Dashuan's age, he should be in fifth grade, but because he failed to score more than 30 points in every exam, he kept repeating the grade. Now he is the classmate of An Tianyi and Wang Pipi.
"Watch the heat and take aphrodisiacs. Didn't your father teach you that?"
"Well……………."
The two of them listened and had questions in their minds.
"It's smart to eat hot bananas. How else can I be first every time?"
Tianyi said seriously.
"Nonsense? My mother said that eating fish roe and walnuts can help you be smart and nourish your brain."
Wang Pipi said unconvinced.
"Then how come you are ranked last? Even Zhang Dashuan, who throws small paper balls, has a higher score than you?"
Tianyi strategically raised Zhang Dashuan secretly, and Zhang Dashuan immediately raised his neck proudly.
"That's right, I can throw small paper balls and get more correct answers than you. Your brain is so funny to your mother."
Wang Pipi stared at Tianyi with hateful little eyes, bit his little lip, and reminded Zhang Da Shuan.
"Zhang Dashuan, you accepted my flash card, have you forgotten what you promised me?"
"Ah... What, An Tianyi, you can only take second place in today's exam, not first place. If you take first place, I will kill you..."
As he spoke, Zhang Dachuan grimaced, clenched his fists, blew some fairy air on his fists, and said viciously.
"What...are you two contracting the first one?"
Tianyi looked at Wang Pipi with disdain.
"Every time you come first, the teacher scolds me and calls my parents. So if you are second, the teacher won't scold me?"
Wang Pipi said with a wise look.
"I am second, who is first?"
Tianyi looked at Wang Pipi in confusion.
"I don't care, who do you love? You can't be the first!"
Wang Pipi said nonchalantly.
"Yes...you can't be first, if you are first, I'll cut you off!"
Zhang Dashuan also echoed from the side.
Seeing that Wang Pipi had a backer and looked arrogant and unreasonable, Tianyi found it funny.
Okay, you have a backer, right? See if you can hold on tight.
"If I get first place in this exam, my mom will buy me Ultraman..."
Tianyi guided the topic while looking at Zhang Dashuan's face and said with a smile.
"My mother always said that if I can pass 60 points in the test, she will buy me Transformers. Hehe... It's a pity that every time I take the test, I divide 60 points by 2..."
Zhang Dashuan continued Tianyi's words in a silly manner while fiddling with the Oldman flash card in his hand.
Seeing that the fish was hooked, Tianyi stepped forward with a smile and put his arm on Zhang Dashuan's shoulders, pretending to be affectionate and asked.
"If I can make you pass 60 points, how will you repay me?"
"If you can really make me pass 60 points in the exam, I will do whatever you ask me to do. You are the master in school. Anyone who dares to bully you will be beaten by me..."
As he spoke, Zhang Dachuan slapped his chest so loudly that it made a loud banging sound.
"Okay...it's settled, let's go...I will teach you the martial arts secrets now!"
Tianyi held Zhang Dashuan's neck and walked to the school.
Wang Pippi stepped forward and grabbed Zhang Dachuan's arm at the expense of his wife and asked anxiously.
"Zhang Dashuan...why don't you keep your word? You said you would help me cut her, and you took the flash card, so why are you still with her?"
"Go away... You want to buy my 60-point future with just a broken flash card. You are so beautiful..."
Zhang Dashuan shook off Wang Pipi's hand and happily skipped towards the classroom with Tianyi.
The exam bell rang, and everyone was busy answering the questions nervously. Only Wang Pipi stared at An Tianyi and Zhang Dashuan to see how they cheated, but he forgot to answer the questions.
When the test results were released three days later, the teacher called Zhang Dashuan to the podium and praised him mercilessly.
Because Zhang Dashuan passed the exam for the first time in five years with a score of 60 and finally passed.
The whole class applauded warmly, and Zhang Dashuan also got the Transformers rewarded by his mother as he wished.
Wang Pipi also took two zero eggs home for the first time, becoming the last in the grade.
During the break, Wang Pipi ran over curiously and asked Zhang Dashuan what martial arts secrets Tianyi had given him. How could he pass the exam in one day?
"Want to know?"
Zhang Dashuan asked with a silly smile.
"Um………….."
Wang Pipi nodded vigorously.
"Cough cough cough......"
Tianyi pretended to cough and reminded Zhang Dashuan not to let anything slip.
"I want to know how to buy 2 bottles of Arctic Ocean for my brother."
Zhang Dachuan pushed Pipi's butt with his knee.
"OK…………….."
Wang Pipi turned around and ran to the canteen.
Looking at the back of the second-rate Wang Pipi, Zhang Dashuan smiled and said to Tianyi.
"It's weird to tell you. Scratching the head, turning the pen, shaking the legs, shaking the head, D. How can I tell him the secret of passing the test by filling in the choices? Don't even think about cutting off my path to the Transformers trophy, haha... Tianyi, you really Awesome, how did you come up with this method to escape Wang Pipi’s exposure?”
"This guy, if he can't do it himself, has to support him. I can't let him ruin your smart mind."
Tianyi gave Zhang Dashuan a look to fool him.
"That's right, brother, you are still loyal. From now on in Balipu Primary School, you are the eldest and I am the second oldest. We will be brothers from now on. If anyone dares to bully you in the future, I will kill him, haha..."
Zhang Dashuan put his arm on Tianyi's shoulder, and he and Tianyi were close to each other.
"Is this appropriate...?"
Tianyi pretended to decline.
“It couldn’t be more appropriate……….”
