Akto's impression on Su Mingan has always been that of the pinnacle of human wisdom - all kinds of rhetoric are piled on Akto, and it can't be too complicated.
However, I don't know why - in this memory, Su Mingan felt that Akto was just a young man who was so bound by responsibilities that he couldn't breathe, very similar to himself.
Perhaps it's because when he looks at Akto, he mostly sees it from the perspective of historical records and bystanders. No one can get close to his heart.
[In the trolley problem, the person who is hated is always the person who pulls the trolley pole, not the trolley that runs over his life.]
[Only when you know very little, there will be no contradiction in cognition.] [But I know everything.]
[So I will take the place of people, take the initiative to face conflicts, and bear the pain for the ignorant.] Sitting at the wooden table again, you write down your diary. Today is the 87th day of the war.
You have become people's devout faith.
Your speeches are always passionate and contagious, your words are always able to confuse people, and there is always an endless stream of humans surrounding you. At the end of every war, you will encourage people and ask them to never give up.
You have gradually become accustomed to titles such as "god" and "incarnation of the will of the world". You sit in this position, use your reputation and fame to allocate resources, command the army, and push the lives of soldiers to the appropriate position to sacrifice for The fight for “the survival of the majority”.
More and more deaths have made you silent. Apart from calls and appeals, you will hardly say a word to the people you know.
You become farther and farther away from normal human beings, your personality is completely alienated, and your emotions become indifferent. Even if you laugh a little, you feel that it is an apology to the deceased.
The white bird raised by Noah nuzzled on your shoulder, and you were halfway through writing in your diary. Under the dim light, your features were dim and unclear.
[I should face my sin, but not indulge in it, because I accept the position of "God".]
["God" cannot be dominated by emotion. I need to look at the overall situation with absolute rationality.] [I am Asa Akto.] [The co-owner of mankind, the embodiment of civilization, and the will of the world.]
[I need to hypnotize myself like this.][Until the war is completely over.][There will always be someone who loves me because of my strength.]
[There are also people who hate me because of my decisions.]
[It doesn’t matter, I will treat their disgust and joy equally. Because Xi said... I am the only one who is most suitable for this position.]
[Don't stay away, don't dodge, don't escape.]
"——Why did you make such a decision! Are their lives so worthless in your eyes?"
"——Why did you watch Shanshan die! Do you still feel pain? Do you still remember their names?"
"——When you made the decision to blow up the entire city, did you feel a little bit guilty in your heart? Will you shed tears for the residents who died in the city?"
On a sunny day, when you finished giving a speech, several civilians rushed up to you with their voices hoarse.
"How dare you disrespect the leader!" The soldiers pushed them away, but you just raised your hand to stop the soldiers and let these civilians rush in front of you.
When questioned, you use rational words to explain your decision:
"That's right, according to the situation in Karl TC City, the reactionary forces have occupied three-quarters of the Kinsey neighborhood..."
Then, you comfort the other person with emotional words:
"I deeply regret the loss of your family members. I also lost many compatriots in this war. Please believe..."
Their expressions changed from anger, to confusion, to sadness, and they began to sob. Finally, these people hugged your sleeves and cried. "I'm sorry, Lord God." "Lord God, we only have you, only you." Already..."
You comforted them and left the podium.
People always trust you blindly in desperate moments. As the person who pulls the trolley pole, you always have a thorn in their eyes.
They will not consider your position or weigh your decisions. Some may even want to assassinate you, thinking that as long as you die, their relatives will be able to come back.
In their eyes, they only have you. - But whose sleeves can you hold on to and cry bitterly? Exhausted
When you do, you take out your diary.
[Don’t care, don’t complain.] [Being content with the status quo is the last bottom line for those who have not completely surrendered.]
[Process is just rhetoric in the mouths of philosophers and historians. Who can put yourself in my shoes and think about what I should do now?]
[No one can. No one can be Asa Acto.]
[No one can step into my shoes and think about things from my perspective. They can’t see the continuation of civilization, they’ll just scold me for pulling the trolley pole.]
[What does it matter?] [Scorn is the mediocre’s ode to the talented.] After writing this, you face the diary.
You find that the paper is stained by an unknown liquid, and you don't want to admit that it is tears. You sit numbly on the chair, as if you have become a solidified empty shell.
On the 132nd day of the war, you took out the Dawn System.
This is the back-up you get during the catastrophic period of the century. Once activated, humans will begin the journey of dimensionality reduction, and there will be no retreat.
The number of human beings has dropped sharply, and you have to consider whether to turn it on - this is a risky move. Human beings are likely to continue to decline on this road of dimensionality reduction, and even the civilization will become extinct.
You thought about whether to turn on the Dawn System for a long time, and finally summoned eight of your companions and held a meeting.
"Guys, should we turn it on?"
You sit at the head of the long table, holding a blood-red heart in your hand.
The Dawn System is a Pandora's box. If it is opened, it means that human beings will completely give up the [three-dimensional] and hide collectively in the [two-dimensional]. Zhuangzhou dreams of butterflies, and butterflies dream of Zhuang Zhou. Humanity is equivalent to sinking into a merger. In an unreal dream, they have transformed from a living human being into a butterfly entering a new spring.
The butterflies danced gracefully, and no one saw the world outside the cage. All they could see were the flowers decorating the cage.
This is a beautiful but cruel fantasy woven by your own hands.
Your companions discussed it and decided to leave the choice to you. You can't make a decision and can only temporarily seal the Dawn System.
Under the shadow, you cut your left arm. This act can bring you peace. Day 143 of the war.
You make many decisions alone, hiding it from your companions, and are always alone. Just like they don't know, opening the Dawn System requires your life.
"Asa, when the war is over, we will see many, many sights in the future."
Hearing this voice, you hurriedly closed the "Dawn System Project" in front of you to avoid letting the other party see it.
A gentle young man with blue hair walked up to you and stared at you with his blue eyes. This young man is Qi.
However, Qi doesn't know that in your plan, if the Dawn System is turned on, you will die. There is no "future" that Qi has carefully planned.
"Okay." You said, "There will be a lot of beautiful scenery."
"When the time comes, I want to hear you play the piano." Qi sat next to you and handed you a chocolate popsicle.
You just realized that it is already summer. Now you have even forgotten the changes of the four seasons.
Qi always likes to give you some sweet things, such as chocolate, lemon candies, and ice cream. He says this will make you feel better.
He is a very gentle person, loves to laugh and talk, and can always make you feel relaxed. In the alliance, he is an excellent diplomat.
"I can't play the piano anymore." You responded. Your heart... seems to have become a wasteland. Art\music\emotion...
"It doesn't matter." He said:
"I can play the harp for you, as long as you like. When the war ends, I hope you can listen carefully to the sound of the wind in spring. The sound of nature is better than any musical instrument."
His voice was like the melted moonlight, making people feel as sweet as honey. "Okay." You made a false promise to him. After he left, you looked at his back.
The bloody sunlight falls on the interface you reopened, and the line "Dawn System Sacrifice Plan" glows with blood-gold thorns.
"..."
You remain silent, press your fingers on the keyboard, and continue to perfect the text structure of the [two-dimensional] world.
If you didn't take out the Dawn system, you might actually do this - etc.
After the war is over, you and your companions will agree to travel together in spring and spend the rest of your life peacefully.
You actually really thought about it and hoped for it.
You opened your sleeves, and there were hundreds of dense cuts on your arms.
[My biggest regret is that my experience of this world is not enough. I have not experienced more stories, experienced more people’s feelings, and seen more scenery.]
[I am nineteen years old.]
[I gradually cannot remember the appearance of the first person who died in front of me.] On the 176th day of the war, you started taking medicine.
This is a "mental stabilizing potion" developed by Tredia, which can help you maintain your best mental outlook and prevent people from looking tired.
God does not allow tiredness, you know this.
You often hold the hands of the deceased, close their eyes, whisper the names on the tombstones, and take away their last wishes and hatred.
In the long war, there seems to be only one concept of "death" left in your world - "the one who is about to die", "the one who is not dead yet", "the one who just died", "the one who has been dead for a long time"...
Everyone is walking on a road leading to "death", and you stand aside, empty-handed, unable to hold anyone back.
——Although I have been used to seeing death, I am still so sad. No matter how many times I witness this kind of thing, I cannot remain unmoved.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
One day, when you were collecting the remains of the deceased, you looked tiredly at Xi aside. You noticed something was wrong with the way she looked at you.
Xi's black pupils widened slightly, and she answered you: "You only have the will to die in your eyes, Akto."
You blinked and opened your mouth, unable to say a word because your throat suddenly choked.
After witnessing so many deaths, there is only one "death" left in you.
The surviving lives dispersed little by little like fireflies. Some people lost their lives before they even truly had their own lives.
Every life is like a thousand pounds of weight. You regard them as the sins you have committed, carry them on your back, and walk deeply and shallowly.
You smiled day and night, comforted her a few words, and turned around. No one saw the desolation on your face.
You gritted your teeth and buried your head between your knees where no one could see you, as if your body was about to be crushed by tears.
But how can you cry... Leaders cannot cry... "Noah, are you afraid that I will forget you?"
On the 182nd day of the war, you sat in a pavilion full of wisterias and asked Noah.
"Afraid." Noah said, his eyes like blue sea-colored nebulae: "Although I don't agree with your ideas, I like you as a person."
Noah has lost a lot of weight, but there is still pride in his eyebrows. You notice that the distance between him and you is getting farther and farther.
Noah is a very proud person in nature, and his ideas and will are firmly defined. His rebelliousness and fighting spirit are reflected in his soul, and your ideas are deviating from him.
"I respected you before, but I don't know why, but now I'm a little afraid of you." Noah said. "I must have let you down by becoming such a person." You said, "I'm very sorry."
The virtual influence of running water and wind in the courtyard is like hanging vine leaves. In the silence, there are only the echoes of the two of you.
He stroked the white bird in his arms, turned around, and walked away from you completely. You don't know where he went. Maybe he went to his ideal fantasyland.
(8/9) Day 204 of the war.
Your black hair has grown and been cut, and the emotion in your eyes has become more and more indifferent, and more and more light has gathered on your body, like a pair of platinum wings.
Every time you fight until you are exhausted, you will repeatedly chant the names of your companions. Most of them are living companions.
Later, you had no name to pronounce.
You can order everyone to fight for you, or you can watch them die for it. You bear the guilt and watch these burning resentments. Human civilization has no end, and the bones of countless people push you to walk.
——But you will always remember that day.
The silver-haired woman fell into the gunfire, like a broken glass bottle, her limbs were torn off, and her bones were white.
Her head was exposed, and the paint on her face clearly expressed the enemy's malice toward her. It read "This woman obeyed sinners, so she deserves to die."
The people who killed her were the people she had saved. Because she was your companion, she was killed. "I haven't...found...my love yet."
Her face looked to the sky, with helplessness and confusion in her eyes, as if she didn't understand why she was pierced through the body. The cruel humanity tore her apart.
How fragile human beings are.
A little malice, a piece of sharp metal, can destroy a person. Their number is so huge, and their individuals are so small.
Looking at Yue's body, something seemed to break in your heart. The smell of wine on the ground made you cough violently and choked with tears.
"Why do I have to carry so many undead souls?" You can't help but think. "Why do you want me to see such a purgatory?"
"Why do you want me to become... such a "god"?"
You pursed your lips tightly, locking your palpitations and shouts tightly in your chest, and all the blood in your body seemed to be flowing out.
It was as if his soul had been taken away, his breathing was slightly tight, and his temples were beating wildly.
Gods cannot shed tears. You drank all the wine she collected and got drunk in a pool of blood all night. You buried her under the moonlight and sprinkled the wine on her tombstone.
(7/9)
Source:/ehant%3Dyueen?vipPrevious Chapter Chapter 754·"Pioneer Immortality (2)" (Modizi, Nonsense, Nonsense League Leader 4k) Next Chapter Chapter 756·"Pioneer Immortality (4)" (Sand sculpture makes me happy, Second score is flying, the leader adds 4k)
