Made.
Just say I'm a woman.
He even said that I was already pregnant and was five or six months pregnant.
This left me speechless. I really wanted to knock this bald donkey down to the ground and beat him up.
I just have a big belly.
Why are you pregnant?
Very meow.
Can I be pregnant as a man?
Even if it’s an international joke, it’s not played like this.
And Sun Laizi was leaning at the foot of the tree, dozing off. When he heard Monk Wuxin talking about me like this, he couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"This...this is really funny."
Sun Laizi laughed and said: "Wuxin, where did you come from? Why are there no distinctions between men and women? You don't look like a woman."
"Ha ha……"
When talking about the latter part, Sun Laizi burst into tears with laughter.
"Amitabha!"
Monk Wuxin recited the Buddha's name. He looked at me and asked seriously: "Brother Changsheng, are you really a man?"
"If you ever doubt that I'm a woman again, I'll beat you up!"
I had a dark face and was furious.
"Don't...don't be angry, it's just a poor monk's eyesight."
"You are not blind, you are blind."
I said angrily: "Why don't you distinguish between men and women?"
"Then you're in big trouble."
Monk Wuxin looked at me and said, "Since you are a man, how come you still act like a woman and get pregnant? How did you do that?"
When he talked about the latter part, his eyes were full of shock.
Then he looked at me strangely.
It's like looking at a monster.
Damn it.
He actually said I was pregnant?
Staring at Monk Wuxin, I really couldn't help but want to hit him at this time.
"Don't make fun of this kind of thing."
Sun Laizi suppressed his smile and asked Monk Wuxin seriously: "Is Changsheng really pregnant?"
"A poor monk never tells lies, how could he joke about something like this?"
Then Monk Wuxin said: "I just checked Changsheng Brother, and I am very sure that he is indeed pregnant, and the fetal movement of the child in his belly is still very obvious."
"But brother Changsheng, you don't seem to believe a word of what the poor monk said."
"I'm a man, can men get pregnant?"
I was so angry that I was completely speechless and said, "My fetal movement is very obvious, why can't I feel it?"
"Fuck..."
I said, my eyes suddenly widened, I held my stomach and said in disbelief: "It's moving, my stomach is really moving."
"What?"
Sun Laizi was dumbfounded, "Chang Sheng, are you really pregnant?"
"I'm really pregnant."
I was very excited and said: "The fetus is still kicking me, lame man, please look at my belly."
Sun Laizi raised his eyes and saw my round belly, which was so big.
Judging from its shape, it looks like a child's footprints.
Cripple Sun stretched out his hand to touch it, and the footprints disappeared in an instant, and then appeared in another place.
"The child in my belly is still kicking me with great force."
I screamed in pain, "Oh, kid, please be gentle on me, please be gentle on me."
"This kid is very naughty."
Sun Laizi was dumbfounded again, "I went to touch it, but it actually knew how to hide."
As the old man said, he reached out and touched the footprints that appeared. Then the footprints disappeared again and appeared in another location.
"Good guy, this kid is so smart." Sun Laizi was shocked and confused.
"Lame Master, please stop teasing me."
I said angrily, "Oh, this kid is so strong, it hurts so much when he kicks me."
Seeing that I was tense in pain and sweating on my forehead, Sun Laizi immediately withdrew his hands.
"Outsiders really can't touch it. Smart children know how to protect themselves."
Monk Wuxin said quickly: "Also, Changsheng brother has to comfort the child and stabilize the child's mood, so that there will be no excessive fetal movement."
"How should I comfort him?"
I said with pain on my face: "Brother Wuxin, please teach me. This child is so naughty. He keeps jumping around inside my body. His intestines are about to be stepped out by him."
"Don't get excited first, you will scare the baby."
"Can this scare you?"
"Wuxin is right."
Sun Laizi said: "As the saying goes, mother and child are connected. If you get emotional, the child will react. Sing a children's song to the child quickly."
"While singing children's songs, you have to touch them gently with your hands."
Monk Wu Xin was also there to guide me.
Then I gave it to the baby in my belly and quickly sang at the top of my lungs, "Little rabbit, be good, open the door."
I sang with a loud voice that rumbled and echoed in the woods.
"Damn it, Changsheng brother, you are a mother, why don't you have any experience?"
Monk Wuxin said: "You have to lower your voice and sing softly. You are not singing for us."
"This is not my first time as a mother. How can I have any experience?"
I said embarrassedly and immediately lowered my voice.
Good guy.
It really works.
I sang the song "Little Rabbit Be Good" twice, and the child in my belly finally calmed down and stopped being upset again.
But this made me exhausted, and a layer of hot sweat broke out on my forehead.
He leaned against the tree and took a breather to rest.
"Brother Changsheng, you are sensible, you are really sensible."
When he saw that the child in my belly had stopped making noises after singing the song "Little Rabbit Be Good" twice, Monk Wuxin said excitedly: "If this child is born, he will definitely be a very smart child."
"I hope so."
I laughed with excitement.
"What do you hope for longevity?"
At this time, Sun Laizi looked at me strangely and asked, "Don't get carried away with joy. What you want to think about now is how you got this baby."
Hearing these words, my head immediately buzzed and the smile on my face froze.
"That's right. How did I get pregnant with this baby?"
I was going to collapse and said, "My special cat is a boy, how come I'm pregnant with a child?"
"Brother Changsheng, don't you know how you got pregnant with this baby?"
Monk Wuxin also asked.
The curiosity was evident on his fat face.
This is really curious.
Who would have thought that a man could become pregnant? This is simply an anecdote for the ages.
Just now, Monk Wuxin took my pulse and found out that I was pregnant. He thought I was a pregnant woman disguised as a man, but after a long period of trouble, I turned out to be a man.
"How would I know."
I said with a sad face: "I got pregnant with this baby out of nowhere."
"She got pregnant out of nowhere?"
Monk Wuxin was a little dumbfounded and didn't know what to say. Finally, he smiled bitterly and said: "This is the first time for this poor monk to encounter such a strange thing."
Then he asked: "So, you don't know how long you have been pregnant with this child?"
"How do I know this?"
I said with a broken face: "Cripple, give me a cigarette, I need to calm down."
