"But don't laugh at me."
"I'm not sure if what I said is true."
The girl gave them a vaccination.
"Well, you can just say what you want to say."
Xiao Xiao smiled, "We will judge the rest."
"……Um."
The girl looked at brother Xiao Xiao, then at Mr. Jǐngcha who nodded at her, and nodded vigorously.
…
"Although Xiaorui is not in the same class as me, she is my junior high school classmate."
It was a somewhat inexplicable beginning, but Meng Jixi, who was familiar with all the information about the four suicides, quickly reacted, "Xiao Rui? Does it mean Han Rui, the second student who committed suicide?"
"Um."
The girl nodded, "We have a good relationship."
"Probably because we are the kind of students who study quietly."
“So we are very comfortable getting along with each other, and we have a lot of common topics in learning.”
…
The next words seemed a bit difficult to say. The girl hesitated for a long time before speaking softly, "We are not smart either."
It's not easy for a teenage, hard-working kid to admit this.
"We have obviously put in a lot of effort, but the results are still unsatisfactory."
"Originally, our grades in junior high school were always among the best, but when we arrived at this high school, our grades could only hover in the middle and upper reaches, unable to go any further."
"We're all devastated."
...
"Xiao Rui is under greater pressure than me."
"Xiaorui's father has been busy with work and basically doesn't care about Xiaorui."
"Her mother favors boys over girls, and the only thing she cares about about Xiaorui is her grades."
"Xiao Rui's good grades are her capital to show off."
"She never cared about Xiaorui's health, and she never came to attend one of Xiaorui's parent-teacher meetings."
"Whenever Xiaorui fails in a test, she will sneer at Xiaorui and scold her harshly."
Thinking of what she heard when she called her home once when she was in junior high school, the girl couldn't help clenching her fists.
She thought at that time, how could there be such a mother?
She was angry and funny at the same time. What era are we in now? How could there be such a patriarchal mother?
Aren’t they all our own flesh and blood?
However, the only thing she could do at that time was to hang up the phone silently. The next time she saw Xiaorui, she pretended that she had not heard anything and lied to the girl that she had hung up the phone when she heard her mother's voice.
She knew that saying such things would not help and would only embarrass the two of them.
Because she can't help him with anything.
This is Xiaorui's family matter.
Xiaorui’s mother also did not commit domestic violence.
What could she do?
There was nothing she could do.
…
"Since entering high school, Xiaorui's current grade of 11th or 12th place has naturally dropped a lot in the eyes of Xiaorui's mother, compared with her grade of always ranking among the top three in junior high school."
"In Xiaorui's mother's circle of friends, Xiaorui's high school is the best."
...
"Xiaorui's mother always scolds Xiaorui, saying that she doesn't study hard, saying that she doesn't study all day long. Do you know what she is doing?"
"Tell me why I gave birth to such a stupid daughter..."
...
"Xiao Rui cried many times."
"But maybe the burden was too heavy, and Xiaorui got worse every time."
"She works really hard and reads until early in the morning every day."
"She came to see me the night before she committed suicide."
The girl pursed her lips and tears fell from the corners of her eyes. "She said she couldn't hold on any longer."
"She said she didn't understand why she couldn't get better grades despite working so hard? Why did her mother keep blaming her?"
"She's worked her ass off."
"She said she seemed to be hallucinating."
"The voice asked her, if it was so painful, why didn't she kill herself?"
"She said, yes, she doesn't know what she is still insisting on?"
"I was scared."
"I comforted her and said that since she lived on campus in high school, she wouldn't be able to see her mother."
"Don't answer her mother's calls from now on."
"Or just pick it up and put it aside, and let the other person scold you. Don't worry about it."
"I said a lot."
"I thought Xiaorui was convinced by me."
"result……"
The girl covered her face and let out a sob.
"I wish I had paid more attention to her."
"I knew clearly that Xiaorui's condition was very bad. I heard what Xiaorui said, but I didn't pay attention at all."
"I just wallowed in my own depression."
"But-"
The girl raised her head, tears streaming down her face, "I'm in pain too."
"I was already feeling very uncomfortable."
"The pain of two people was superimposed, and I almost suffocated."
"So, the next day, I didn't want to see her at all."
"If... I had gone to find her, she wouldn't have committed suicide that night, right?"
…
"After Xiaorui died, I was in pain."
"I also started to have auditory hallucinations."
"That's the devil's voice!"
"It's urging me to die."
"I bought a hanging rope and it's under my bed."
The girl's expression was in a trance, showing a bit of madness, "If you die, it will be over."
"I was so close to putting it into practice."
"But I met brother Xiao Xiao."
The corner of the girl's mouth raised slightly, "For the first time, someone helped me when I fell."
"Brother Xiao Xiao also gave me a cake."
"Obviously we are just strangers."
"But just because we are strangers, this kindness, even though it is small, makes me feel very warm."
"I don't think it's that bad yet."
"Only while you are alive can you encounter beautiful things."
"I don't want to die."
"Then that voice disappeared too."
"So, I guess that voice is just the dark side of my heart, right?"
…
"Brother Xiao Xiao, if Xiaorui could have met someone like Brother Xiao Xiao at that time, wouldn't she have died?"
It wasn't a hug between her and Xiaorui, who were suffering from the same problem.
At that time, she had too much time to take care of herself, so how could she still support Xiaorui?
But having a stranger like Brother Xiao Xiao is enough. When Xiaorui secretly cries, he can hand her a tissue and tell her, stop crying.
that's it.
Xiaorui has always been a strong and strong girl.
Always push yourself too hard.
However, such a little pistil is often moved by a little warmth.
The courage to work hard will rekindle in your heart.
However, Xiaorui didn't get such a little encouragement.
She finally chose to end her life.
...
"I'm lucky, aren't I?"
Tears kept falling in the girl's eyes, but the corners of her mouth were deeply curved. Tears flowed into her mouth, and she said bitterly, "If I hadn't met Master Xiao, I would have hanged myself."
"Why hang yourself?"
Xiao Xiao's question was quite embarrassing.
The girl and Meng Jixi were both stunned. (To be continued)
