In the carriage, the phoenix wax has not yet spread, the soft light is flickering, and the warm glow is reflected on the curtain, and the shadows are blurred, as if the whole room is warmed by gentle waves.
Su Jingqian quietly stared at the dreaming person, his brows filled with the tenderness of vague memories.
"Ah Yue, actually, I didn't play tricks on you that time. There is indeed a secret that has been hidden in my heart for a long time. I have always wanted to tell you."
At that time, he only felt that she was still young, and he was afraid that he would offend her if he told the secret in his heart. He was also afraid that she would not be able to distinguish between friendship and affection, and would make some promises in ignorance that she would regret in the future.
At that time, he only hoped that time would go faster. When she grew up, he could tell her the secrets hidden in his heart bit by bit and let her choose to judge for herself, even if her heart was not right at that time. When it comes to himself, he feels that there is nothing to fear. Anyway, he still has a lifetime to make her change her mind.
But he never expected that the pear clouds and dreams would be far away, and the stars would disperse in the rain. The secret that he had held on to in his heart and never said it out would probably never be revealed again in his life.
There seemed to be a misty rain falling in Su Jingqian's deep eyes, desolate and lonely, but also doubly persistent. There was a deep attachment to the past that could not be annihilated even after the vicissitudes of time.
When he was ten years old, under the red leaves all over the sky, he met a girl with a charming smile and beautiful face. No less than others. I have been with her for four years, with my heart pounding day and night, my love hidden in my heart and dreams for a long time. I once thought that the years to come would be safe and that we could stay together in the spring and autumn, but in the end I regretted that fate had changed and I was lingering with sadness.
"Ah Yue, I suddenly understood a truth. Destiny is unpredictable and things are impermanent. If you admire someone, you should tell her immediately. Otherwise, when you want to say something later, even if she is close at hand, some words may not be able to be said. Say it again."
At this time, the sleeping person was deep in a sweet dream, unaware of his loving words, and was left alone and thoughtful. The only responses to him were the wind and snow outside the window and the melting candlelight in the car.
He raised his hand and wanted to brush away the broken hair on her temples like before, but he stopped suddenly when his fingertips were about to touch her. The shadow of the candle flickered, and the long crow-green eyelashes cast a shadow under his eyes, and the warm light gradually dimmed into a gloomy color under his eyes.
Time flows between the fingers, and it seems like a world has passed between them. It seems that after holding it, it was lost again.
He slowly withdrew his hand and gently clenched his disappointment and regret into a fist.
The Cangshan Mountain is covered with snow, and we go home together. It seems that the years are still peaceful. There was clearly still a burning trace of his past in his palm, but now the distance between him and her made even reaching out to touch her become a luxury.
There are lights, bright and dark. The two ends of life form a shore to each other. Looking at each other from afar, they are no match for Ming Ming.
His eyes slowly passed over her face, lingering on her scattered black hair, as if a hand reached out from the depths of his eyes, and gently lifted up a strand of her black hair with his fingertips. Tie it into a knot with your own hair.
If the spring breeze takes pity on the flowers, can it allow them to be young again?
If he had known that his fate would be dire, he would have told her his feelings clearly and completely at all costs on that day.
But unfortunately, flowers will bloom again, and people will never be young again.
Dreaming about thousands of mountains at noon, an arrow shot through the window. Let those thoughts that cannot be spoken be turned into candlelight and burn in the heart forever. Hide regrets and love in the eyebrows, lips and teeth, bury it in the bottom of the heart, and cover it up in the years.
"Ah Yue, you once told me, don't lose sight of your heart's desire, everything can be expected, and I deeply believe it. I am not willing to have a beginning but no end, and I cannot compromise with fate. Over the years, I have gone all the way for my heart's desire. Every step is a chess game with fate, but I know that when a person walks in the darkness for too long, he is no longer qualified to expect that light will fall on him. I also know that even if some light falls, it will still be there after all. It’s not his.”
The sadness in his eyes, under the warmth, was like broken ice that melted when it was warm and then cold, with a faint moist sheen.
——"The king of Dongchen is a man of great power and looks down upon the world. He is naturally the best among people. He is not only good at attacking people's hearts and emotions, but he is also very good at making the best use of people's talents and materials."
What she said today echoed in his heart over and over again, as if a voice was asking: If only the mess is left in the beautiful years, should we still cling to the heart?
His eyes fell on her sleeping face again. There were countless unspeakable thoughts hidden in his eyes. They were clearly so lonely, but his eyes seemed stubborn and firm, as if they were filled with loneliness and courage, burning with indescribable emotions. An obsession that is difficult to resolve over the years.
As early as that year, on the snow-capped mountains, he had already made his choice. If he had the chance to predict the future, he thought, he would still choose this way.
Looking back at the road he walked behind, it was stained with blood and muddy. He had walked one journey after another in the bloody storm, waded through the endless sea of blood, cut through the wind and clouds with a sword, even though his body was scarred, he And never took a step back.
The people respected him and praised him as a wise king; the ministers were afraid of him, knowing that he was ruthless and would use any means to achieve his goals; even she felt that his strategies were all ambitious and obsessed with power. But only he himself understood that the scars left on his body in those years were never the longitude and latitude of the chessboard, but the burning medals he carved for his regretless choice.
I once looked at the bright moon in the abyss, and the frost and snow all over my body melted away.
Even if the world doesn't understand, he doesn't care whether the words left in history are judged as black or white, good or evil. At least there was a bright moonlight that truly shone on him. This warmth will stay with him forever, in his heart, and will never fade away.
The person on the couch suddenly moved, his eyes were closed tightly, his brows were furrowed, as if he was in a nightmare, Liuyu's fingers were raised in the air, as if he wanted to grab something.
He looked at her with a complex expression, his eyes were dark and difficult to distinguish. After hesitating for a moment, he finally handed her his hand over and held her hand tightly.
As if feeling the warmth, the person on the couch soon became quiet, and the frown between his eyebrows relaxed.
Seeing her rubbing her face against his sleeve like a kitten, he couldn't help but laugh, the darkness in his eyes faded away, and the red sun shone brightly.
Being able to watch her at such a close distance, with no barriers, no arguments, and no suspicions, was an extremely precious moment for him after so many years.
It's just that she is no longer the little girl who relied on him and needed him. She is the bright moon hanging high in the sky, shining brightly in the night, with unparalleled brightness, enough to fill the heaven and earth and shine on the world.
"I'm sending you to Beiming, not because I don't want to keep you, but because you're safer there than with me. I'm afraid that when I get busy in the future, I'll be too busy and put you in danger. I tried my best to teach you Your tactics and strategies are not meant for you to clear the way forward for me. I just hope that you will have enough ability to protect yourself when I am not with you in the future. Maybe one day, you will need to use it."
He carefully opened up the heat in his heart, as if he wanted to warm her cold dreams.
"You always blame me for not telling you anything, but Ah Yue, there are always many things in this world that are heavy, graceful, or even indescribable. I think you can understand, just as I think I can understand you."
The snow is long, the wind is soft, and the tears of the phoenix candle are left in silence. It's hard to express my feelings, but I can only sigh that they are so close but they are thousands of miles away.
The candle flickers, the light traces the wall, and the figures reflect their traces. Time is easy to rest, and empty thoughts become memories.
Who says young people are fearless? I still remember my clothes stained with tears when we said goodbye.
We are facing each other now, the past is covered in mud, the old dreams are hard to continue, and only the regrets are left in the frosty ground.
