"I'm a failure."
Sun Dahai leaned on the bed, took a puff of cigarette, looked ahead and said.
To the woman next to him, his expression was filled with vicissitudes of life.
When I was 25 years old, everything was on track. My wife gave birth to a son and a daughter for me. I was working in a factory to make money to support my family, and I lived a happy life.
I still remember that winter during the Chinese New Year, with heavy snow and ice outside the window, my wife was busy cooking in the kitchen, and my sister and brother were laughing and playing. Watching all this, I felt warm and worthwhile.
Until the economic crisis occurred in our country of falling rain, and our factory was also facing closure. Unfortunately, I became one of the laid-off workers.
Without the source of income, life has plummeted.
I looked for work everywhere, but I kept hitting a wall. I became discouraged and went home drunk every day.
My wife also changed from being considerate and encouraging me to becoming more and more impatient.
The burden of life was on my head, making me breathless. We gradually became estranged, and the initial indifference evolved into quarrels day and night.
Until one day, as usual, I failed to find a job again that day. What made me embarrassed and ashamed was that the person who interviewed me was a classmate from elementary school. I didn’t expect that he had climbed to a leadership position after not seeing me for many years.
Back then, he and I pursued the class beauty Xiaoyan. Unexpectedly, Xiaoyan chose me in the end.
My grades were pretty good at that time, but in the end, because my family couldn't afford it, my mother was bedridden.
I had no choice but to give up my studies and go out to work to help my mother earn money to take care of her illness.
Xiaoyan liked me for my good character, filial piety and caring for the family. Her parents divorced when she was young, and she had hoped to marry a man who could give her a warm home to rely on.
I was really nice to her at the beginning and didn't let her down.
But this life stops when I am unemployed.
That day, he was ridiculed by his old classmates and ran away in disgrace.
I felt so uncomfortable that I got so drunk that I fell to the ground at the canteen near my home.
My wife waited until late at night and saw that I still hadn’t come home. She was a little worried, so she went out to look for me.
Seeing that I was drunk and unconscious, he turned around and left angrily, but he was afraid that I would freeze to death outside, so he still carried me back home with great difficulty.
After I drank the sobering tea after I got home, I became more sober.
But the uncomfortable feeling came over again.
My wife was extremely angry when she saw me like this, and started scolding me constantly, scolding me for her hard work at home taking care of the children and serving the elderly.
But I don't look for a job, I am living a happy life outside.
After scolding her for a long time, I couldn't bear it anymore and started to scold her.
Seeing that I was so unrepentant, she scolded her even more fiercely. I couldn't scold her, but I couldn't get angry anymore. Coupled with the resentment I had suffered during the day, a rush of blood rushed to my brain. I didn't have time to think, so I hit her.
I slapped her with all my strength. She was knocked to the ground and her head hit the corner of the table.
The bleeding wouldn't stop.
This fight was the final straw.
She was completely desperate for me and wanted to divorce me after she recovered from her injuries.
I begged again and again to keep her, promised not to do it again, and wrote a letter of guarantee, but she was determined to leave.
Even a pair of children were taken away, leaving me with nothing.
I was left with nothing.
After some time, I realized that it was really not okay to continue like this. It happened to be that year that the Land of Rain began to subsidize taxis, and I heard from others that they could earn a lot of money.
So I set off to downtown Baiyu City to try it out.
I spent all my belongings to buy a pair of clean clothes, shaved my hair neatly, and looked at myself in the mirror, as if I had regained my former heroic spirit.
Because it happened to be in the spotlight, although there were many applicants, there were also many people recruited. I was lucky enough to be hired.
I am very happy and thank God for blessing me and giving me another chance to be born again.
I cherish this job very much. I work overtime every day and night, and I am also appreciated by my boss.
