Note 1: This is a work full of onion flavor, please be joking.
Note 2: Please automatically imagine the serious tone of CCTV reading
Spring is coming to autumn, and it’s holiday time again. As a large number of non-intelligent creatures have more free time, pretentious speeches on major website forums have also entered a vigorous peak season.
However, except for a small number of successful professional pretenders, the vast majority of people will deteriorate in the cruel natural competition. Because their pretending is exposed, they will become angry and instantly change from noble and elegant pretenders to vulgar ones. Troll.
In order to teach you how to correctly and impeccably pretend to be pretentious in the book review section of Qidian.com - not just to pretend to be pretentious, but to do so without any hesitation, I have written this article based on many years of experience. A guide to showing off.
Then the following enters the text:
The first step in showing off: praise.
Just like any interrogation and other interpersonal communication actions, if you want to successfully pretend to be in an unfamiliar book review section, the first thing you have to do is to make the other person put down their guard, and as the author, use this method of praising their books to get closer. Distance makes the other party lower their guard, which is naturally the most appropriate method.
But just knowing how to praise them is not enough.
The mistake that some immature pretenders often make is to use too much force. What you need to pay attention to when you are successful in pretending is that you should not use positive affirmation words such as "good", "great" and "very good" when praising. Choose Pay attention to ambiguity and vagueness when speaking: "Not bad", "Okay", "Okay" and the like are good choices. They not only reflect that you have experienced many battles and have seen a lot, but also make people feel that you are The waistband of your trousers is tied at a very high position, indicating that you are an elder. At the same time, you are prepared for the subsequent turning point, so that it will not appear too abrupt and make people wonder if you have a split personality.
After achieving the first step, what we need to do next is the next step that can give people a calm impression and make the onlookers who don’t know the truth stand on your side:
The second step of showing off: analysis.
This step here further proves why it is important to give others the impression of an elder with a high waistband in the first step above - because you will use "good", "very good", "great" and so on Readers who simply state that they like the book will usually leave the impression that they simply like the book - and in this case, if you want to start the analysis, combined with the previous People's simple and bright impression, sense of dissonance and abruptness will appear immediately.
Therefore, choosing neutral words that are ambiguous and can show that you are noble, elegant and knowledgeable is a very important preparation for the second step.
After having the above premises, you have basically attracted the author's attention, and what you need to do at this time is to continue to consolidate this trust.
When speaking in the second step, the choice of words still retains the ambiguity above, but at the same time, the sentences also reveal some "heartbreaking" flavor - a typical example: "Alas, in this industry now, there are unqualified There are so many works, I really don’t know why so many people like them.”
When you reach this step, you can continue to praise the author. While criticizing the corruption of the industry at large, you can also praise the author's book as a fairly good work among them. Comparing and distinguishing the two in this way, the author immediately felt that he was special, that he did not collude with the dirty industry, that he was holy and noble, that he still shouted "for pesticides" before being burned on the rack! "Persimmon oil!" is a chuunibyou (crossed out) who still insists on the light in his heart in this corrupt, dark and dirty era.
Analysis like this, combined with some nonsense from Baidu to explain the hard work of the industry, as if you really understand it all, can generally make novice authors and other readers sincerely feel "you understand so well!"—— But if you only go to this step, you can only be regarded as an ordinary person who supports the author, rather than a successful pretender!
A truly successful show of pretense is carried out after using all of the above to establish basic trust.
Step three: belittle.
The choice of ambiguous words in the first step of praise, and the second step of praising the author with some reservations while lamenting the industry are all for the smooth progress of the third step.
If you use positive affirmative words in the first step, then the turning point here will feel abrupt, and some smart onlookers will think that you are either schizophrenic or have a brain problem. And if you choose ambiguous words that show you have "seen a lot," as this guide teaches, this step will go very smoothly.
And similarly, the industry analysis conducted in the second step can quickly change its tone here——
A very typical example is to use a "but" as a transition.
"However, the author's book is not good enough. It can only be regarded as pretty good. If xxx can write it in such a way,"
“It’s like another book by a very good author xxx”
This kind of sudden turning point is usually not expected by inexperienced novice authors - "Why did I suddenly start saying that I can't do it when I was praising you so well before?" - Such a turning point usually leaves most authors confused. , but you didn’t say death before, so when he ran back to read it, the whole text reflected the image of “you” as an “elder” who has “experienced hundreds of battles” and “seen a lot.”
It doesn’t matter how you criticize. You don’t even need to read the author’s book. The cover, book title, introduction, and even the author’s nickname can all be your points of criticism. The way of criticism can be summarized as “not bright, not attractive, too long to remember” Just don’t live or something like that. All this applies to any book, and there will definitely be people who agree with you in any book. For example, I think the name Romance of the Three Kingdoms is so unattractive. If it were changed to Long Aotian How good - to return to the original point, in short, this point of criticism - if you actually read this book, you can pick out more places - and then don't directly criticize these places to death. , because in this way you will become an inferior troll, and the author and the author's real supporters will also have reasons to spray back, which should not be avoided.
After picking out these points, the important thing is to start the second turning point.
Here you need to continue to maintain your image of an elder with a high waistband. After stating the mistake in a calm tone, tell the author that he did not work hard enough and the book was not good enough, so it was not successful enough.
If you want to further strengthen the impression that you have experienced many battles, you can also talk about how many years you have been reading books, and how many authors you have seen who worked hard but failed (listing a few author names here will be more convincing) .
All in all, in short, it is never wrong to say that you are not successful because you did not work hard enough and you did not do well enough. Combined with the painful analysis above, even if you think you are a supporter and come to read the author's feelings, It's like being comforted and analyzed by you as if I've eaten shit. Most ordinary readers can't understand the author's mood. On the contrary, if the author is unhappy at this time, you can also mock the other person's childishness and immaturity. Pretentious, thus further showing the demeanor of an "elderly".
Successful and famous, you are safe and sound. Because of your calm and analytical tone throughout the entire article, even if the author feels like he or she has eaten a fly, all they can do is say thank you for your encouragement and I will work harder.
By pretentiously analyzing and first praising and then belittling the author, you have elevated your own identity and gained a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction from the keyboard and the virtual world, which is more enjoyable than generating electricity from the human body.
And this kind of high versatility does not require you to really understand the industry or know how to write comments - you don't even need to actually go to the other party. It can fit seamlessly into any comment area.
If the author scolds you, that means he is being hypocritical. You can play innocent because you are clearly here to support him.
It's literally the perfect guide to showing off.
Note: This guide is suitable for unpopular ones, the kind that not many people watch, because if it is too popular, you will encounter idiot fans. What pretentious people are most afraid of is this kind of staunch fans, and there are usually not many unpopular ones. People leave comments, so the chance of being seen by the author is also higher.
Note 2: For those who feel that they have been shot, don’t doubt that they are aiming at you.
m..,.
