Chapter 218 2
Huang Tong was almost paralyzed, barely holding on to the back of the chair to prevent his body from swaying. Worth your collection
Zijin, on the other hand, lowered his eyelashes, and under the slanting sunlight, the arc of light and shadow on his cheeks looked particularly cold and fragile.
The two of them remained in such a silent state until Hongye came out with Rob washing his hands.
Hongye clearly felt an atmosphere of depression and despair permeating the two of them. Even she, a bystander, felt the coldness, and couldn't help but squeeze Rob's little hand, as if she could draw warmth from this young and sunny little life.
"...I heard from aunt that Rob will go to school in two days. I will take him out to buy school supplies." After saying that, she couldn't help but add: "You two have a good talk." Before she finished speaking, Zijin raised his eyes and looked at On her side.
Just that look made Hongye's heart twitch.
She clearly saw a small patch of redness at the corner of her eyes, and the water vapor in her eyes seemed to evaporate quickly in a blink of an eye.
If she saw such a scene in normal times, she would definitely sneer in her heart: As for being so strong. But a few days ago, she suddenly showed weakness to herself and actually confided her feelings to her former love rival. What kind of fearful and helpless state of mind led to this?
Strangely, facing Huang Tong, who was also pale, she became even more worried about her.
The more people seem to be holding back, the more serious the injuries they bear. This was also her personal experience when she was lying on the hospital bed pretending to be fine.
Zi Jin came over to straighten Rob's clothes and whispered softly: "Go out and listen to your aunt." He called his aunt and asked her to accompany him.
After the three of them had packed up and stood at the door ready to set off, Hongye looked back at the two of them. One of them was not hesitant and helpless, while the other was holding back and being calm and strong. Neither of these two people could make anyone feel at ease.
But this is a matter between the two of them, and no one else can interfere.
After the three people left, the room became quiet again.
Huang Tong regained some strength, but was a little restless. Her temperament is like this. She has to get to the bottom of many things to know for sure. Such a futile attitude made her even more at a loss.
At this moment, Zijin slowly raised his elbow, put his other hand on his shoulder, and said in a rather lazy tone: "I'm so tired from taking care of Rob these days, and my whole body feels like falling apart. Come here and rub it for me." ."
"..."
Huang Tong looked at her steadily and saw her glance at him lightly, so he felt a chill in his heart. He could only stand up and walk over, and put his hands on her shoulders in confusion.
Zijin's shoulders were thin and thin, and they were all boney to the touch.
With the kneading movements of his hands, Huang Tong's brain felt as if a pause button had been pressed. In addition, maybe after walking around for a while, the blood in the body no longer coagulates like before, and starts to supply oxygen to the brain and start functioning.
What did she say before that, it seemed like she said... divorce?
How did you say it?
Why did you say it?
Is it impulsive?
no.
Was it well thought out?
Neither.
Divorce... was no longer a word. It was simply a scourge in her heart. She never thought that there would be a day when she would let it out. Not when she was separated from Zijin, not during the Cold War. She thought it would never happen in her lifetime.
There are some things that cannot be said. Once you say them, it will be overwhelming. Just like the word "divorce".
Huang Tong couldn't help but feel regretful and regretful, her thoughts were surging like a tide, and she felt like she was stepping into an abyss with one foot.
Will she agree?
Or, you won’t agree?
If you agree, how can you live? If they don't agree, how should they treat each other?
This unsolvable proposition and the huge feeling of powerlessness hit her once again. The anxious waiting that had just arisen was now poured out of her heart.
It's early autumn. Although the sun is warm, the coolness is getting stronger and stronger. Huang Tong couldn't tell whether it hurt or not, but a sad chill spread across his heart, and even his internal organs were shrunken into a ball by the cold.
Zijin, on the other hand, looked like nothing was wrong, squinting and enjoying Huang Tong's service.
Then, he patted her hand gently to signal to stop: "Okay." There was a hint of tremor in his gentle voice.
Huang Tong hadn't fully recovered from his emotions. The voice seemed to be floating in the clouds, so misty that he couldn't hear it clearly. Soon, his heart seemed to be pinched——
What did she say? Or is she about to say something?
Zijin turned around——
Huang Tong's face turned pale! Staring at Zijin with dark eyes without blinking...
Zijin just stretched his arms and said calmly: "I'm going to take a shower."
When Huang Tong saw that she was really planning to go upstairs, he was startled. He pulled her as if he was overwhelmed and said, "What do you think?"
"Um?"
"Li..." But it was difficult to say those two complete words.
Zijin said almost at the same time as she paused: "Go cook for me."
"ah?"
"I'm hungry. I'll come down to eat after taking a shower."
"..."
Zijin's pace up the stairs quickened, and Huang Tong had no choice but to go to the kitchen with a heart in dire straits.
The cooking aunt happened to be peeling pomegranates in the kitchen. Seeing Huang Tong open the refrigerator, take out the vegetables, and immediately put down the pomegranate: "Miss, do you want to cook?"
"Um."
"It's up to me to take care of this. What do you want to eat?"
"Zi Jin asked me to do it."
"No matter who does it, it's different." Auntie said with a smile.
"But Zijin asked me to do it. Auntie, please help me."
The aunt sighed: "You two have such a good relationship..."
Huang Tong showed a wry smile.
The two quickly put together three dishes and one soup. When they came out, Zijin was already sitting at the dinner table.
Huang Tong stood at the other end of the table, staring at Zijin's face in a daze.
After taking a bath, Zijin's skin became more and more moist and transparent, and the porcelain was filled with jade snow. Is this the legendary reverse growth? Huang Tong thought wildly.
Zijin ate the vegetables and rice in small bites, and his mood was no different from before.
"Aren't you going to eat?" Zi Jin asked calmly.
Huang Tong shook his head.
"Eat some, you will have strength later."
Have strength? Is it finally time to talk to her about the topic? Huang Tong couldn't help but his heart was pounding! So she sat down, picked up the bowl numbly, and ate without taste, like someone waiting to be sentenced to death.
After finally waiting for Zijin to put down his chopsticks, he quickly stripped off the rice grains in the bowl...
"Go for a walk with me."
"..."
After he said such earth-shattering words, Zijin just ignored her without saying anything or expressing his opinion. A vague emotion flashed through Huang Tong's heart, dark and obscure. Could it be that she didn't care about the divorce at all?
Thinking of this, I felt a burst of disappointment in my heart, lowered my head and said sadly: "Zijin..."
"Don't you want to go? Then go back to your room and lie down."
"Zijin!" Huang Tong couldn't help shouting! Let's die happily. This kind of blunt knife cutting flesh is simply unbearable for people who have fallen into deep despair!
"Go up and wait for me, okay?" Zijin said warmly.
"……good."
Zijin asked her to lie down, and she did so. Zijin was used to taking naps, but he didn't have this habit. Plus he was worried and couldn't fall asleep at all. Not only could I not sleep, my whole body felt as uncomfortable as a fish in a frying pan, turning over and over as if I had been tortured to the core.
Zijin came back from a walk and saw that Huang Tong was not lying in the bedroom between the two of them. He couldn't help but shook his head slightly, sighed, closed the door and went downstairs. When he arrived at the door of the guest room, he opened the door without any hesitation and entered the room directly.
Huang Tong heard the movement and half-sat up from the bed in a daze. As Zijin came closer, without even noticing it, her body pressed back against the back of the bed, showing a completely withdrawn posture.
Zijin's eyes suddenly dimmed.
She originally wanted to walk to the bed, but stopped midway and sat at the dressing table next to her.
"Are you calmer?" she asked.
Only then did Huang Tong suddenly realize that her turn of a blind eye was just to delay time, in order to allow her to calm down as time passed. In other words, she thought she said the word "divorce" without a calm mind.
But now that I have calmed down, do I regret it?
"You know I will always respect your decision. But divorce..." Zijin lowered his eyes, making his expression invisible: "Have you really thought it through?"
Huang Tong shook his head solemnly.
Zijin stopped talking, as if she, like the person opposite, didn't know how to solve such a proposition.
Possibly, there is no solution at all.
Therefore, in the eyes of uninformed people, Zijin and Huangtong are still a harmonious couple.
But Zijin became even more silent, and Huang Tong began to go out early and come back late.
The two of them would wait until it was late at night and everyone had gone to sleep, then they would go back to their respective rooms, close the door, and take off their disguise for the day.
Huang Tong couldn't bear it at first and returned to Nanhai to do her black mass.
Zijin still gets up early every day, goes to the company, comes back at noon to eat and take a nap, handles business in the study in the afternoon, and goes back to his room to rest early. The behavior is fixed and repetitive, and there is no leakage. No one saw anything wrong with her.
Until that afternoon, a woman came to visit.
The aunt who is cooking wants to knock on the door and ask if she wants to cook more dinner for the guests. The door was ajar, so she peeked in through the crack and saw Zijin crying.
She was so frightened that she shrank back and hurried away without noticing that the pomegranate in her hand fell to the ground.
Qin Mei glanced at the door, then returned her gaze to the person in front of her, and breathed out: "I came here this time to let you vent. I know you are having a hard time these days."
The hardest Zi Jin cried was to shed tears silently, but this time the tears seemed to be endless.
"Didn't you grit your teeth and not shed tears even when you were being abused? Tongtong's body is still fine, and nothing happened, yet you are crying like this. Alas." She handed her a handkerchief with an embroidery on the upper right corner. Rose.
Zijin shook his head, his face turned pale and almost transparent. Qin Mei felt heartbroken when she saw it.
Only then did Qin Mei realize that she was holding a few pieces of paper tightly in her hand, pointed at it and said, "Is this true?"
Zi Jin lowered his head and looked at the paper with deeper tears. He turned his head away and gave the paper to Qin Mei.
"Well, the divorce agreement. Is it serious?" Qin Mei's heart skipped a beat! It seemed the problem was more serious than she thought.
"do you agree?"
Zijin lowered his eyes and said nothing.
Qin Mei put the divorce agreement aside and leaned forward to listen: "What do you think?"
"I want to respect her decision."
Qin Mei nodded. "But are you willing?" Seeing Zijin's face sullen, he shook his head: "You two..." She did not continue. Not to mention the person involved, even the bystanders felt puzzled.
This matter is obviously not their fault, but they have to bear the inner suffering. Furthermore, even if this matter were changed to two other people, it would not end like this. It's really deplorable.
Huang Tong is a pure person. She does not allow herself to be the unclean person between herself and Zijin. This was almost a curse. Even if she and Zijin were forced to be together, her fear would still torture her day and night.
And Zijin...
No one in this world knows her better than her.
The reason why she and Liang Xinyi are both enemies and friends is because they actually cherish each other.
Zijin's mother was mentally fragile, his father was busy with his career, and his grandfather was strict but not warm. There is not much difference from Liang Xinyi’s childhood. Their relatives paid too little attention to them, and they were lonely in their childhood. However, they were still trained as future successors of the group or family. This kind of "successor" education imprisoned their hearts. So in turn, they have no choice but to express their existence through giving. Use being needed to satisfy your lonely heart.
The only difference between them is that Liang Xinyi can give to multiple people, and there are so many sisters who need her to take care of. But Zijin only gave his heart to the first person.
So the weak and harmless Huang Tong fit her heart that she wanted to protect and walked into her life. Although this kind of care and protection is in one's own way, the other party does not fully accept it. But when this kind of protection gradually turns into a responsibility, and then it is discovered that he failed to protect her, the guilt in his heart will come back to bite him exponentially. Rather than saying that she doesn't want to face Huang Tong's physical cheating, it's better to say that she resents and can't accept that she didn't protect her well. What she can't face is herself!
This unreasonable desire for protection would not be a problem if it were placed on family ties, but the other person was her lover, a lover who wanted to keep pace with her in pursuit of equality.
Along the way, she learned how hard the person in front of her had put in to get rid of original sin, and finally learned to treat her lover with the same attitude as a lover.
And Huang Tong is even more so. She almost went through a lot of hard work to grow from the canary she raised to a lover beside her. As long as I have loved her, I have struggled for this. But now, asking Zijin to accept the "contaminated" her is equivalent to returning to the starting point and putting her back in the cage. And this time, words like "charity" and "mercy" were added. I believe she was unwilling to die.
From this point of view, the two continue to maintain their marriage, but they are just tormenting each other and falling into unresolved conflicts that will never end.
But, the two of them are so in love with each other.
Qin Mei couldn't remember how many times she lamented today: "Alas..."
The author has something to say: I wrote three drafts of this chapter, including a car, and I killed them all.
Everything is based on the premise that the character's reaction in the incident is closest to his true character 166 Reading Network
