"Excuse me, what should I do when I find out that I have become the protagonist of a science fiction film? I'm waiting online. It's quite urgent."
Ten minutes ago, I silently took out my phone and posted a post, briefly describing the incident.
However, what I didn't expect was that in less than ten minutes, my post had hundreds and thousands of replies, and it became a hot topic.
Numb!
I didn’t even buy half a dime of traffic! !
"What? The original poster has no house, no car, no money, no good looks, and then a super, invincible and stunning beauty cheats on her?!"
"Tsk, tsk, I don't even dare to think that way after reading Shuangwen novels. It's like cutting my butt with a knife and opening my eyes!"
"Come on, come on, I have diabetes, let me wake him up!"
"Look! It's Shi Tiesheng. He swayed past Cristiano Ronaldo and passed Messi with a heavy shoulder. Wow! It was a rainbow pass, passing three people in a row. His speed even surpassed that of Usain Bolt. It’s even better than him, but he’s still leading, still leading! Perfect cut inside, passed Neymar again, leaped directly over two people, and passed six people in a row!
Volleyed in the air and missed! Fuck! That's awesome, the golden hook hangs upside down! ! The ball went in! Such amazing reflexes and physical coordination, a hat trick! Shi Tiesheng performed a hat trick! ! ! "
"I feel like The Three-Body Problem has been conservative since the mother's womb. It's a shame that the author didn't win the Hugo Award."
"Master, run quickly! Your waist will be gone soon!"
"Dear Internet friends, a new type of scam has officially started. Please keep your eyes open and be careful to avoid being deceived and avoid unnecessary property losses and life safety."
……………
I was heartbroken as I scrolled through the replies. They were all science fiction, scams, and idiots. Under this little post of mine, I already had three pillars fighting for the world.
There are even several official accounts directly calling for popularization of fraud prevention knowledge below.
Well, several officials sent me private messages, asking me if it was difficult for me to speak, what coded message was I sending, and if I was in danger of personal safety.
I felt like crying for no reason, but I felt like crying but had no tears. I stayed silent for a long time and then silently deleted the post.
Is this the world of immortal species? It is really difficult for ordinary people to understand.
My heart was full of sadness, and I looked around at the many charming mountain ghosts who surrounded me tightly as if they were looking at rare animals, each looking at them with their own eyes.
I feel even more sad. Why is the meal so late today?
"Tianchuan, I'm going over there first. Just stay here for a while. I'll be back soon."
Qiong Jing returned the phone to me with a gentle smile, and walked towards a few mountain ghosts not far away who had a cold temperament, looked serious, were slightly older, and were full of beautiful women's temperament.
And the next second Qiong Jing left my side, a small black shadow quickly attacked me.
I stretched out my hand and held it down skillfully, looked down at the little Loli Enoch in front of me who was grinding her teeth and her eyes were a little red and swollen, and said angrily,
"Where have you been and what are you doing? Lao Sun?"
"That guy isn't eating secretly in the kitchen... No, I'll bite you to death, you bastard!"
The little mountain ghost loli opened her mouth and was about to bite, but due to my height advantage and my proficiency in doing this, little Inuo's calves just stayed put, posing no threat.
"Hey, hey, that's too much. I've been looking for you Enoch. Why are you trying to bite me now?"
"Hmph! Pervert! Pervert! Pervert!"
I noticed that the mountain ghosts who were watching me around me suddenly looked at me in a different way as soon as Yinuo Loli said these words. They saw that a righteous gang fight was about to happen.
"What nonsense are you talking about? Even if you are a child, Inuo, you can't slander you casually!"
I hurriedly said, there are so many immortals, there is no need to do anything, if one person punches me, I guess there won’t even be any scum left in me.
"You're just a kid! Your whole family is a kid!"
"Okay, okay, you're the best, right? Sister Inuo, what are you going to do?"
Little Loli Yinuo twitched her nose, her little face full of anger, she raised her head and glared at me angrily, then lowered her head with red eyes.
"You! You shameless person, how did you deceive Sister Qiongjing?"
Well, I can’t tell you and you may not believe it, but it seems that your sister Qiongjing deceived me.
I wisely shut my mouth and refused to answer the question.
Too many words, too many mistakes!
I now realize this truth. As long as I remain mute, nothing strange will happen again.
As for Qiong Jing?
Although I don’t know why this stunning mountain ghost wants to stay by my side, there is no ill intention at the moment, and I can’t seem to refuse.
Maybe she was just out of interest and made a random joke to punish me or something.
Take it one step at a time.
Well, if I can go back alive, I will definitely ask that damn fat guy Wang Xiaohai for some secrets first, not for physical fitness, but for self-preservation.
"Hey, you bad guy! I'm asking you a question!"
The angry sister's voice came from below, and the little Loli Enoch pointed at my nose angrily and asked.
I pretended nothing happened and looked calm.
"Don't think you can get away by pretending to be mute. I could see clearly what you were secretly deleting behind Sister Qiongjing's back just now, and asked me if it was a chat record with a girl, you big scumbag!"
"Sister, there's no signal here, who can I talk to?"
Without even thinking about it, I replied angrily.
Besides, besides my mother, I have only a handful of female friends on Fetion, and they are all former colleagues... Wait, if there is no signal, how did I post that post just now?
I was suddenly stunned and realized this very serious problem.
And no matter what, it’s impossible for my post to become so popular in ten minutes?
"Hey, bad guy, why are you so dazed? You haven't answered my question yet? What's wrong with the lack of signal? You must be secretly deleting something shameful!"
"Wait a minute!"
I seemed to have thought of something, and with a serious look on my face, I stood up and walked through the crowd towards the kitchen.
Kitchen corner.
“Crack, bang, click, hey, it’s delicious, um, here’s another Doujia, buy it on every platform, how can such a good post be lost to everyone?”
Lao Sun was eating until his mouth was full of oil, and he was using his oil-stained fingers to control his mobile phone.
"Awesome, but there is no signal. How did it get sent out?"
"Hey, it's just a signal. How can it be difficult for my grandson? I can solve it in minutes..."
Lao Sun said proudly, and then his smile froze.
I stared at this stupid monkey hair with a blank expression.
Ma Dan!
Labor and management knew it was you!
If you have this ability, you don't use it when you should use it, and you use it when you shouldn't use it. Why don't you cheat me to death? You are not willing to give up, are you?
"Hey, Lao Chuan, I'm doing this for you. You see, you don't have much popularity at all. It's not easy for you to become more popular this time. As a brother, I, Lao Sun, will definitely help you buy traffic and increase your popularity. !”
A certain monkey hair quickly argued.
"Then I have to thank you, Old Sun."
I said slowly with a smile on my face.
"No, no, no, we are all brothers. Our relationship is just a small amount of money to buy traffic..."
boom!
I put down the shovel in my hand expressionlessly, and the force of the shock made my arm numb.
Mudd!
Really rough skin, thick flesh, hard skull.
"Yinuo, turn your head. What happens next is not suitable for you to watch."
I said casually, and then picked up the kitchen knife, bone chopping knife, and pepper on the chopping board.
"Hey, Lao Chuan, calm down. It's almost time for dinner. I'll have to eat in a while."
Card!
The kitchen knife accurately stuck on Old Sun's head, causing some hair to fall off, but not a trace of blood.
Bronze-headed and iron-boned?
You are so awesome, why are you so willing to sell me your monkey hair? !
Dang Dang Dang!
The screams were endless.
"How much have you eaten here, and you're still not full?"
I threw down the kitchen knife full of cuts with an expressionless face, held the bone chopping knife firmly with both hands, and said casually.
"Ahhhhh! Oh, it's just this little food, how can I do it? I haven't had the hot pot for a while..."
boom! Boom—bang!
The screams continued.
A full half hour later.
Exhausted, I lay down on the ground in a bad mood, surrounded by a pile of scrapped knives, broken knives, not durable at all, and it looked like they were not made in China.
I glanced angrily at Lao Sun next to me, who had a bruised nose and a swollen face, and a face full of resentment. I felt funny and angry at the same time.
"Hey, what's going on with you? You can punch your face, but you can't hurt your head or break your mouth?"
"Nonsense! This is soft tissue. How can soft tissue block the knife? My hair was almost shaved off by Lao Chuan with a kitchen knife!"
Lao Sun yelled angrily.
"Then why can't you cut the skin with a knife? Isn't it soft tissue?"
"My old grandson's skin will be soft when it is soft, and hard when it is hard. Otherwise, if the skin is not soft when turned into a human form, it will be easy to lose clothes. Hehe, how about it, is it awesome?"
As Lao Sun spoke, he became proud of himself. Now that I have half a foot in this circle, I don't need to hide it too much.
"It's amazing. Who can be as powerful as your old grandson? His skin can be soft or hard. It's like cement. No wonder it's so thick."
I immediately laughed at him, and now seeing this monkey hair being so happy is even more uncomfortable than killing me.
"Tch, you Lao Chuan know nothing. From now on, just hide behind your wife and me, cheer for us from behind, wave the flag and shout!"
"My wife?"
"Well, didn't Qiong Jing follow you Lao Chuan? Now it's spread all over here that the most beautiful flower among the mountain ghosts was taken away by an ordinary-looking useless human being. I can't tell, Lao Chuan, what I said before You have low emotional intelligence and I misjudged you, that’s awesome!”
Lao Sun smiled and immediately gave me a thumbs up.
Friends, lovers, marriage, partners?
Why do I feel that my progress seems to be at ten thousand times speed? I am developing too fast...
"Mr. Zhao was so happy just now. He didn't expect that he would be able to see you get married and go to the kitchen to add food again. It's really good."
Old Sun looked satisfied and expectant.
I burst into tears internally, not knowing what to say.
