"Have your seat belts been fastened?"
"of course!"
Listening to these seemingly familiar words, I looked at Lao Sun inquiringly.
"First time meeting, never seen before."
Lao Sun blew out the smoke ring with a calm expression and spoke unhurriedly.
I cast my eyes on the back seat again.
Well, he is indeed 1.5 meters tall. It is normal for him to be able to tie his seat belt into a special rope for hanging.
"What are you looking at? I'll bite you!"
As if aware of my impolite gaze, the mountain ghost sullenly yelled at me angrily.
Although she is a real Yu Jieyin, with her fair and rosy face with delicate features and two looming tiger teeth, she really has no deterrent effect.
I moved my gaze downwards, and it became clear to me that airports are indeed not very popular in today's society!
Coupled with the tall and awkward face, it seems that it is normal for a blind date to fail.
"Hey, kid, what are you looking at? Believe it or not, sister, I swallowed you in one gulp!"
The two tiger teeth of the little mountain ghost loli were more obvious, her ordinary chest rose and fell slightly, and she raised her little head proudly, and her threatening voice clearly echoed in the car.
Some people may like this tone, but unfortunately, I am already a mature man of 29 years old.
So I silently withdrew my gaze for the first time and smiled apologetically at Little Mountain Ghost Lolita.
As expected of the legendary immortal species, it easily makes people relax their vigilance.
Just like the legendary sirens that confuse the passing ships with their beautiful songs, the mountain ghosts are probably the same.
My heart was full of emotion, and then I secretly regained my vigilance, closed my eyes and rested my mind, and became more and more afraid of these supernatural creatures.
"What, are you having trouble?"
Lao Sun glanced at me who was pretending to sleep, and the first sentence he casually said almost made me choke.
Before I could react from the shock, I opened my eyes wide and wanted to ask the old Sun if he was sick or something, but the old Sun continued to say in a non-stop manner,
"It's still early anyway, and there happens to be a convenience store nearby. Lao Chuan, why don't you go buy some ice cream? By the way, Shangui, what flavor do you want?"
ha?
My eyes almost dropped to the ground, I am afraid the word shock was not clearly written on my face.
Lao Sun, are you crazy about hot pot? !
"Strawberry flavor, please. Also, don't call me Mountain Ghost. My sister has a name too. Just call me Enoch."
Listening to this unobtrusive Yu Jie's voice, the corner of my frozen mouth inevitably twitched again.
boom!
"Go quickly!"
I was kicked out for no reason. I stood up and patted the dirt on my body. I turned around and saw Lao Sun’s winking eyes through the car window. I believed the monkey hair for the time being and walked a few meters away in silence. Convenience stores and supermarkets outside.
A few minutes later.
When I came out expressionlessly holding strawberry-flavored ice cream in one hand and original and mustard-flavored ice cream in the other, Lao Sun was already waiting for me outside the car.
"Oh, Lao Chuan, I bought them back. Come on, these two are not strawberry flavored. Give them to me."
Lao Sun skillfully took two ice cream cones from my hand, opened the back seat door deftly, and stuffed me inside.
I was stunned for a moment, then reacted instantly, stood up straight, and pressed my back against the upper edge of the car door.
"Old Sun! What the hell are you going to do?!"
I gritted my teeth and stared at Lao Sun, opening the eye contact channel.
"Isn't this creating an opportunity for you? The little girl likes strawberry-flavored ice cream and desserts the most. Lao Chuan, this is your chance to coax her."
Lao Sun kept winking at me.
Let me coax you, uncle!
"Why the hell am I trying to coax her? It's none of my business how she feels!"
I pressed against the car door with all my strength, and I still had to hold on to the strawberry-flavored ice cream.
Seriously, this will take more effort than pushing those four wheels of bread before.
Lao Sun gave me an "I understand" look, and then showed a smile that all men understand.
"Don't worry, Lao Chuan, go ahead boldly. Why don't you still have me with you? Don't be afraid of failure. Didn't Shan... Yinuo just say that she failed on the blind date? This is your golden opportunity. Take advantage of it. The time has come!”
I feel like you are a piece of shit!
You can make eye contact and pause. I really admire you, Sun!
"A drop of kindness should be repaid by a spring. Lao Chuan, you are already twenty-nine. At this age, the average human being is already married. You have only been in love a few times. I didn't eat that hot pot meal in vain. As brothers, in my heart, I, Lao Sun, will definitely help you!"
Help you bighead! !
My lungs are almost bursting with anger. I have only known you, Sun, for two days, and I have just regarded you as a brother and friend. You are going to stab me in the back, right?
All this eye contact only lasted a few seconds. I was only angry and didn't realize that at this time, Lao Sun and I already had the so-called "tacit understanding".
"What are you two doing?"
A somewhat confused voice came from behind me, and I inevitably stiffened.
Then Lao Sun keenly seized the opportunity, pushed me hard, raised his head and said with a quick smile,
"Oh, it's okay. Lao Chuan is a little carsick and said he wanted to sit in the back. Ino, please understand."
After that, Lao Sun closed the car door skillfully and returned to the driver's seat without giving me a chance to speak.
Gudong!
I swallowed, calmed my heartbeat, tried hard to control my face from tense up, and turned back to meet a pair of cute big eyes that were curious, sympathetic and doubtful.
"That, ice cream."
I gritted my teeth and forced a smile.
"Okay, thank you."
Enoch took the ice cream with her little hand, stretched out her little tongue and took a sip. Her cute big eyes immediately turned into crescents.
"By the way, you shouldn't have to sit in the front for motion sickness. Only the passenger side will have a wider field of vision, which can alleviate the symptoms."
Enoch held her chin with her little hand, her delicate facial features were full of doubts, and she asked me in a royal voice.
I opened my mouth and tried to calm my heartbeat. I was just about to give a random excuse.
"Well, Lao Chuan has a special physique. He is the kind who can sit in the back seat without getting dizzy."
Lao Sun turned his head and smiled at me, and said to Inuo with his face neither red nor white.
"That's right."
I looked at Yi Nuo who believed so easily, and the corner of my mouth twitched slightly.
Are mountain ghosts so easy to deceive?
Sure enough, even though she has a very mature voice, she is still essentially a 1.5 meter goth girl.
Only then did I realize that little Loli Yinuo was wearing a gothic outfit, which was a bit more two-dimensional. Her white hands were also painted with red and shiny manicure.
Is this a child?
I was inevitably relieved in my heart, what a mountain ghost, what a monster, what a immortal seed, just a harmless, cute and cute little lolita.
Speaking of which, why didn't I pay attention to what little Loli Yinuo was wearing just now? Well, thinking about the unique girly fragrance that penetrates my nose now, I ignored this topic in my mind.
By the way, my aesthetics are normal and I am a mature man in his twenties!
"Well, where are we going now?"
I ignored Lao Sun's constantly raising eyebrows in the rearview mirror, but I felt the atmosphere was a little quiet, so I still said with a smile.
In other words, this is the first supernatural creature I have come into contact with besides Lao Sun.
It seems harmless now, it's more business to get more information.
"My home!"
Ino took a small sip of the ice cream, biting it cutely, and said casually in a royal voice.
Um?
It seems right.
Don’t most chauffeurs deliver passengers home?
Feeling like I had asked a stupid question, I silently frowned, but pretended to be calm and nodded on the outside.
"Well, little Yinuo... Yinuo, can I ask your age?"
"Ahem!"
Lao Sun's sudden cough startled me, but I was too lazy to pay attention to the monkey hair.
I’m curious about how many years the immortal species live. Isn’t this the most basic question that should be asked?
Enoch raised her big eyes and glanced at me somewhat unkindly, but then she lowered her head and looked at the ice cream in her hand. A trace of struggle flashed across her cute and delicate face, and then she said calmly,
"eighteen."
Oh, it’s eighteen, it looks like... eighteen ghosts!
I took a deep breath and calmed down. As a human being, you must be thick-skinned.
"Then do you have any hobbies?"
"Snacks, shopping, playing games, listening to music."
"Can you tell me how many people are in your family?"
"Two, besides me there is a grandpa."
"Yeah, I asked a rather special question. What do you think of humans?"
I asked this question nervously, but I pretended to be calm and waited for the answer.
Enoch raised her cute and delicate face and glanced at me strangely,
"I said, you don't want to pick up a girl, do you?"
"Cough cough cough cough!"
It was a series of my coughs, and I didn't expect this answer at all.
"Ahem!"
This was Lao Sun's pretentious cough. Through the rearview mirror, I clearly understood Lao Sun's helpless eyes.
Lao Chuan, you are too anxious.
I'm worried about your sister!
I was almost so angry that I couldn't even breathe again. Labor and management were trying hard to obtain information and consider my personal safety. I'm just an ordinary person and I haven't lived enough!
What a fucking kiss! !
But after thinking about it carefully, I felt that my question just now seemed to be slightly ambiguous, so I hurriedly explained out loud,
"No, I just want to know what you, as a mountain ghost, think of the human species."
As soon as I finished speaking, I received a perfunctory nod from Yi Nuo and a somewhat disgusted look. Of course, Lao Sun must be there helplessly shaking his head and sighing, acting as the atmosphere group.
Oh haha!
Done!
It seems that the description is getting deeper and deeper, and I feel like crying inside. Mad, labor-management aesthetics are very normal, and you are not some perverted lolita control!
Lao Sun, I am your uncle!
The first time I came into contact with an immortal species other than Lao Sun, the number of useful information obtained was zero.
