I managed to convince Ben to go into the bathroom. He took off his T-shirt and leaned against the counter. I rummaged through the bathroom cabinets and found only gauze and vitamin E gel. I washed and cleaned his infected skin. Ben flinched and grabbed my wrist every time I touched him.
"Dee, this really hurts," he said. "I know," I said. "It looks bad. You need to see a doctor."
"You know why this can't happen."
I wanted to tell him that the infection would spread, which was basically a death sentence, but I bit my tongue. If I told him we would both die.
"You need antibiotics," I said.
"I know," he said.
"Didn't you take those prescription pills from Bethany?" I remember Ben telling me in Oliver's basement. "We can just write you a prescription. We don't have to go to the doctor."
Ben took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. Whether it was because the light on the dresser was too bright or because I finally got my glasses back, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes.
"I can't use them," he said.
"Why?" I asked.
"I couldn't put Bethany or Oliver's name on it," he said. "I don't have a signature to use."
"You can't be serious, Ben. Haven't you thought of this before?" "I didn't intend for them to die. It wasn't part of the original plan."
"What about the medicines we take? Those immunosuppressants? What should we do after we use them up?"
"I haven't thought about that yet. I'm more concerned with getting us here."
I shook my head and looked at myself in the mirror. I may still be alive, but once these pills run out, I will lose my vision.
"We're here now," he said. "I'll figure it out tonight."
"Don, we can go crazy
"Ben, we could lose everything," I said.
I have nothing left to lose. All I have left is my life.
"As long as we're together, we're fine," he said.
He held my face but I pushed him away.
"Let me clean it up for you," I said.
I applied a layer of ointment to the infected area without waiting for his reaction. I know it won't do much, but it's better than doing nothing. I wrapped gauze around his waist to cover his body. Book
Put on the shirt. Before leaving the bathroom, he kissed my temple. He went into the kitchen. I walked out and saw him looking at the cans and other boxes of food in the cupboard.
I walked to the sliding glass door on the side of the living room. It leads to a wooden deck with a set of stairs at the edge of the lake. The sun had begun to set, and the sky was filled with darkness. I looked back and saw that Ben's back was turned to me.
My hand grasped the doorknob. I can run out of this house. I can run and get help. I glanced over my shoulder again and saw Ben still rummaging through the cabinets. If I run, he won't be able to keep up with me, especially if he has an infection. He did have a car, though. No matter how fast I thought I was, I couldn't get away from it.
"What are you doing?" Ben asked.
I looked back again to see Ben with his arms crossed over his chest. I took my hand off the handle.
"I really want to watch the sunset." I lied.
Ben uncrossed his arms and smiled. I could see the tension drain away from him as he walked towards me.
"All you have to do is ask," he said.
He grabbed my hand and opened the door. He squeezed my hand as we walked out. There are two wooden chairs on the porch with a small wooden table in the middle. Ben sat in a chair. He grabbed my hips and pulled me into his lap. He shifted my weight so I wouldn't rest on his infection.
He put his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulder. I tugged at the hem of my skirt. The cold wind caused goose bumps to appear on my bare legs.
"You'll get used to it, baby," Ben said. My teeth began to chatter and Ben rubbed my arm.
"You shouldn't stay out for too long, I don't want you to catch a cold."
I nodded. I looked around the lake and saw only one other cabin. I had to squint to see that it was even a cabin. It is located on the opposite side of the lake. It was getting darker outside and I prayed to see the lights come on. Some kind of signal that someone lives there.
Ben pulled me back into the house before the lights came on. This must be someone's summer home that will be abandoned until spring.
When we got back to the cabin, Ben didn't leave my side for a second. We ate a can of soup we found in the cupboard. Ben put his hand on my waist as I heated it up on the stove.
He insisted that we take another shower together. I tried not to push away as his hands caressed my body. When he started kissing my neck I complained that I had a headache and he stopped. After drying off and changing my clothes, he pulled me onto the bed. I moved my body to the edge of the bed and listened to Ben walking around the bedroom. I heard jingles and zippers. The light above my head suddenly went out and the bed sank. Ben's arms slipped around my waist and pulled me across the bed and into his chest.
I lay there quietly. I tried to free myself from his grasp, but his grip tightened.
I stopped moving and his breathing became deep and rhythmic. It felt like I had to lie there listening to Ben's breathing for hours.
All I could hear was his breathing. On previous motel nights, sounds from other rooms would echo into our room. Now this silence is just a further reminder that we are here alone.
The room has large antique wooden furniture. Opposite the bed is a dressing table and thick mirror. There are two empty bookshelves next to Ben's bed. I have a wardrobe here. The closet door is open. It was empty except for a row of wire hangers.
This carry-on duffel bag is at the bottom.
I hear zippers every night. It was the sound of him packing his duffel bag. That jingle must be the car keys.
If I take the keys out of my bag, I can drive down in Ben's car and find the city. I would drive until I found the police station and even the house. I would knock on the door and plead with them to call the police. My photo made the news. They will definitely help me actively.
Ben mumbled something in his sleep and held me tighter against his chest. It's like he knows what I'm thinking. I wrapped my fingers around him and pulled his arm back. I slid off the bed and rested Ben's arms on the mattress.
My bare feet hit the cold floor. I tiptoed to the closet. I picked up the bag and took it to the kitchen. I didn't close the bedroom door because all the doors were squeaky. I put the bag on the kitchen counter. I didn't turn on the light because I didn't want any light to wake Ben.
After the surgery, my vision in the dark improved greatly. I could make out shapes in the dark. I slowly put the zipper back on the bag.
Without the light, I was still able to differentiate between the different items in the bag. I expected the key to be at the top, but that's not the case. I turned the bag upside down. My hands ran along the soft fabric of our clothes. I unbuttoned one of the side pockets and took a closer look. I could see a bunch of pill bottles. I pushed a few of them aside and I saw it.
The car keys are inside. I took them out and put them on the counter next to the bag.
The light above my head came on. I jumped up and covered my violently beating heart. I spun around and saw Ben in the doorway.
When he yawned, he dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. He walked into the kitchen while combing his messy hair back with his fingers. When he saw me, he raised his eyebrows.
"What are you doing, dear?" he asked.
I glanced back at the duffel bag. I couldn't tell him the truth. I could see rows and rows of bottles. I picked one up and gave him a small smile.
"I still have a bad headache," I lied. "I want to see what medicine is available?"
"You should have woken me up," "You should have woken me up," he said. He pulled the bottle from my hand and read the label. "You're going to grab the wrong thing and hurt yourself."
"I have to read that nursing textbook," I said. "I know what I need to get."
"Then why do you take anti-inflammatories?"
Heat rushed to my face. I was afraid that he would see through my lies. Be
He smiled and put the bottle back in his bag. He pulled out a small white bottle and took out one of the pills. He poured me a glass of water and handed me the pills. "This is Tylenol," he said. "This should make you feel better."
I nodded and swallowed the pill. Ben tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and pressed his lips to my forehead.
"I'm sorry," he said. "If I had known how bad it was, I would have given you the medicine sooner."
"Thank you," I said.
I glanced back and saw the keys were still on the counter. My heart was beating so hard I could hear it beating in my ears. Ben hadn't noticed yet. I can still carry out my plan. I put down my glass and threw my arms around his neck. Ben put his hands on my hips.
He smiled and I leaned closer and kissed him. He chuckled and deepened the kiss. He must have been pleasantly surprised by my actions.
"Go back to bed," I said. "I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Follow me," he said. "I couldn't sleep without you. I woke up when I found you on the bed."
"I just need a minute."
"For what?" Ben's fingers curled tighter around my waist. The smile disappeared from his face. I exhaled slowly, trying to control myself from shaking. I slid my hands down to his chest. I gave him a smile and smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt.
"I just wanted to wash my face," I said, unable to think of a really good excuse. "I just feel disgusted."
It was a stupid lie, but it was enough to make Ben laugh. He shook his head and kissed me again.
"You're ridiculous," he said.
"Come on." He bent down and slid an arm under my knees. I screamed as he lifted me off the floor. He picked me up in his arms and walked towards the bedroom. He put me on the bed. He propped himself up on one elbow and brushed my hair out of my face.
The keys were still on the counter. Even if I can't escape tonight, I have to put the keys back in my bag. If Ben saw the keys in the duffel bag, he would know I was trying to escape.
I raised my hand and held one side of his face. Ben buried his head in my hands. "I think I'd like another glass of water," I said, trying to think of a new excuse to get up.
"I'll get it for you," he said.
"No!" I bit my lip when I realized I had yelled at him.
"why not?"
"You just lie down and rest. I've disturbed you enough tonight."
"Di, you don't feel well, you need to rest."
"Book--"
He grabbed my wrist and pulled my hands away from his face. "I'll get you some water," he said. His voice was much sterner. "I better not watch you get out of bed tonight."
Before I could react, he got off the bed. He left the room and went into the kitchen. He turned on the light, but it was too far away for me to see what he was doing. I just saw a blurry blob moving around the kitchen.
I closed my eyes and bit my nails. Ben would see the keys on the counter and know my plan. He would burst into the bedroom with a gun and threaten to kill both of us. I don't know how to explain this. He was probably like this and it pissed me off that I couldn't calm him down before he started shooting.
I shivered when I heard Ben walking around. I opened my eyes when I heard the bedroom door creak shut. He turned on the light and sat on the edge of the bed, looking calm. He smiled and put his hand on my knee.
"How does your head feel?" he asked, handing me the water.
"Very good," I said.
I can only give him a shallow smile! My plan failed again! what happened?
