Another long boring day stuck in the car together. Every once in a while I switch radio stations trying to find a channel playing news. This club reaches out to change the channel. After doing this a few times, Ben changed it to a CD and gave me a dirty look. I slid into my seat and crossed my arms over my chest. Ben kept his hands on the wheel as we drove down the highway. His hands would often slip onto infected skin. His fingers would brush against his shirt before his hands returned to the steering wheel.
At lunch, he walked through a fast-food drive-thru. He bought us a couple of burgers and paid with cash. As Ben left the restaurant, I crossed my legs and reached for my bag. Ben grabbed one of the burgers. I took out the salty fries and ate them one by one.
"Where did you get all this money?" I asked.
"Bethany," he said. "She loved to drink and left her bank cards lying around. I had been withdrawing money from her account for some time."
"Is that how you got the gun?"
My voice shook at the mention of the gun. I never talked to Ben about the gun. My eyes always catch a glimpse of it sticking out of his belt. This has always been in the back of my mind. That was the only reason I didn't run out of the car.
That's the only reason I don't scream for help, I help anyone in public. I wanted to see my mom and Marcy again, and I couldn't do that if I was riddled with bullets. snort
"Bethany didn't just have a gun lying around the house," he said. "I got it right after we got back from the Caribbean."
“I thought Bethany would lock you in the house after embarrassing them at the dinner party,” I said.
"That didn't last long." He shrugged. "I convinced her to let me go back outside."
"What? Did you sleep with her again?" I sneered. Ben jerked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes at me.
"What kind of attitude is this?" he asked. "I'm just trying to take care of both of us. Don't you want that?"
Ben tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. I could imagine him swerving the steering wheel sharply to the side and crashing the car into another car or a tree, killing us both.
"I'm sorry," I apologized. "It's just that you didn't really tell me anything."
"You need to trust me," he said.
I rolled my eyes and continued eating the chips at the bottom of the bag. We drove in silence for the rest of the day. Ben found another small motel. He had his usual charismatic personality that captivated the women working behind the desks. As we walked toward the room, he threw his bag over his shoulder and put his arm around me. I'm used to the strange pungent smell that permeates all these rooms.
Ben stretched his arms above his head and took the clothes out of his suitcase. He reached out to me.
"Come on," he said. "Let's go take a shower." "Do you like being together?"
"Yes, honey." He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him. He put his other arm around my waist. "The past few days have been crazy and we haven't been able to spend any time together."
"I just don't think-"
"What?"
The smile on his lips turned into a frown. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.
"Di, what's wrong?" he asked. "You've been acting weird all day, don't you want to be with me?" My mind screamed the word "no." I bit my lower lip to keep the word from coming out.
"I did all this for us because I love you," Ben said. "I don't understand why you don't-"
"Ben," I interrupted, taking his face in my hands. His scowl softened, but my heart was still pounding in my chest. If I didn't, he would put a bullet in both of our skulls. "Ben, I just didn't want to do it because I was tired. I'm sorry."
I didn't realize how tight his grip on me was until his fingers released mine. waist.
"Okay," he said. "let's go."
I nodded slightly before Ben pulled me into the bathroom. I have to keep reminding myself that Ben and I have spent one night together. It was only then that I realized how delusional he was.
Ben reached in and turned on the shower, letting the water warm. I pressed against the bathroom door. He pulled his shirt over his head, and my eyes fell directly on a scale on his side. The red spot he poked last night has turned darker and looks more aggressive. "It looks bad," I said.
Ben glanced down. He ran his fingers over it and I saw his face scrunch up.
"I'll be worried about it when we get to the cabin," he said. I opened my mouth to say something, but he stretched out his hand. "Di, don't worry now."
Ben grabbed the hem of my skirt and pulled it over my head. My arms crossed over my chest instinctively. Ben chuckled, grabbing my wrist and pulling my arm away from him. He pulled me against his chest and pressed his lips to my neck. I closed my eyes and clenched my hands into fists. I resisted the urge to push him away and clenched my fists.
I stood very still as Ben stripped us both of our clothes. He pulled me under the warm water. He ran his hands over my body. I close my eyes and think about the end goal. I imagined lying on my bed at my mom’s house as a child. I imagine Marcy and I making chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast next week. I needed this to happen, and it would only happen if I made Ben happy.
When Ben turns off the water. I jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. I quickly walked out of the bathroom and walked over to the bed. I rummaged through my duffel bag for clothes. I left my glasses in the bathroom, so I had to squint. I managed to get out a sweatshirt and a t-shirt. I put them both on and covered my hair with a towel before Ben walked out of the bathroom.
I looked away from him and saw the TV remote on the dresser.
"Can you take my glasses out of the bathroom?" I asked.
"Yes, of course," Ben said.
He turned around and I snatched the remote control. I flipped through the channels until I found the news channel. They were reporting on a robbery in a city I'd never heard of before. As I waited for the story to change, I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
"This is your-" I looked back to see Ben walking back into the room. "What are you doing?"
"I'm just curious," I said. I took the glasses from him and sat on the edge of the bed. I put them on and now I can actually see the words on the screen. "I wonder if they know anything new."
The mattress sank as Ben sat down next to me. I held the remote control in my hand. He put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me close to him and kissed my temple.
"I just don't want to make you sad," he said. "We'll be in Muskoka tomorrow and we won't have to worry about this anymore."
"Tomorrow?" I asked. “Are we going to stop traveling?”
"Yeah, we can finally rest."
I'm counting on someone spotting us in public and recognizing us. I'm looking forward to someone recognizing this car. It had to be Bethany's, unless he stole it or switched the license plates. I thought we were going to get caught. I can report my behavior to the police, how delusional it is.
Soon, it was just Ben and me. Two of us were trapped in a cabin. He would probably do anything to prevent me from leaving the cabin.
Maybe being in the cabin would be a positive thing. I could find a way to escape, or I could run for help. He can't watch me every moment. If I build enough trust with him, he might not even bother me.
News coverage turned to Ben and me. Our pictures were plastered side by side on the screen. It's a graduation photo I used before. Ben's photo is nearly unrecognizable. He is a tall, lanky teenager with a toque over his short hair.
"Benjamin is wanted for the brutal murders of his mother, Judith, and his sister," the news anchor said. "We encourage anyone with any information to contact police."
Ben grabbed the remote from my hand and turned off the TV.
"Enough," he said,
He got out of bed and rummaged through his duffel bag. We all took our medicine. I crawled back into bed. Ben turned off the light and wrapped his arms tightly around me against his chest.
I couldn't sleep, thinking about Mom and Marcy.
