27----I saw the TV

Ben kept his arms around me all night. His grip was so tight it felt like he was crushing my ribs. His legs were tangled with mine. His steady, rhythmic breathing tickled the back of my neck. The red numbers on the alarm clock on the bedside table are blurred. I squinted to make the numbers clear enough, it was already around one in the morning.

I would try to move my legs away from Ben's. He would hold me tighter and pull me closer.

I'm leaving this hotel room, running down the hall, begging the people at work to call the police. They would see my eyes and know something was wrong. If Ben did wake up, he would probably come after me naked and they would see the scales on his chest. There was no way I could have lied to them about my contact lenses.

I grabbed Ben's wrist and slowly took his hand off of me.

He moved. I sat down and turned to look at Ben. He took one hand out of mine. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. When he saw me sitting, he jumped up.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I need to go to the bathroom,"

Ben nodded. He walked over to the bedside table and turned on the light. The room was filled with dim light. I stood up, my knees shaking beneath me. Ben's eyes locked on mine. I took a step towards the door behind me and Ben jumped out of bed. "Diana, what are you doing?" he asked. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me close to his chest. "Why are you leaving?"

My chest tightened and I took a deep breath. Ben pushed me down on the bed. His jaw was clenched and his nostrils flared. I frowned as his grip on my wrist tightened. He put one knee on the bed, high above me.

"Why did you leave me?" he asked. "I promised you we would get out of this together, and you agreed."

"You never said I couldn't see my family," I told him.

"Not now," he said. "We have each other."

"I do not care."

Ben reached toward the bedside table and let go of my wrist. He opened the drawer and I couldn't see what he pulled out. I saw a flash of silver light and cold metal pressing against my temple. Ben's chest heaved violently and he was panting.

"Diana, you said we would get out of this together," he said. "Why are you leaving?"

"I love you," I blurted out. He took a deep breath and the pressure on his shoulders disappeared. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. Ben kissed me back, the barrel of his gun leaving my temple. I took a deep breath through my nose and Ben let his body sink into mine. I reached up and cupped his face.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm just scared.

"It's okay," he said, and pressed his lips to my forehead. "Let's go back to bed."

I nodded and Ben got off me. He looked around the room and then around to the other side of the bed. He pulled the bedside table and lamp away and pushed them against the closet. He came around to my bed. He put his hands at his sides and pushed the bed against the wall.

"Slide over," he said.

I looked towards the wall and I slid over. There is no point in arguing. He would pull out the gun again and threaten to kill both of us.

Ben climbed into bed. He turned off the light and held me tightly. I had to play along with his sick fantasies so I wouldn't die.

In the morning, after Ben checked us out, he spotted a small restaurant. I ran my fingers over the torn leather on the booth seat. Ben put the map on the table and drank his coffee.

There are only a few customers. They were talking to each other, and the elderly waitress, who I could tell was a regular. Whenever someone turned in our direction, I would get a strange look. "We should be at the cabin in a few days," he said. "I'm going to take a detour to get there. That should derail anyone who might be looking for us."

I nodded. My fingers fiddled with and twirled the empty cup on the table. The waitress came to us with two large plates full of food. Ben grabbed the map from the table.

"Here you go," she said.

"Thank you," Ben said.

"This should be good for hangovers." She touched my shoulder and winked. "I miss being young." Ben smiled as she walked away.

"I have to remember that," he said, taking a bite of toast.

“We look weird everywhere we go,” I said. “Girls who won’t take off their sunglasses and boys who won’t take off their jackets.”

"It's okay," Ben said. "That's why we have each other."

He opened his jacket and took out a bottle from the inside pocket. He handed me a few pills and took a few himself. Ben said nothing to me as we finished breakfast. He had a pencil and was drawing different routes to Muskoka. As I ate and stared out at the gravel parking lot, I fell into a trance. When I heard my name, I was brought back to reality.

I looked over at Ben and saw he was still staring at the map. I heard the voice continue talking and realized it was coming from an old television set in the corner of the counter.

This is a news anchor speaking. There was a red banner underneath him, but it was too blurry for me to see clearly. It cuts to my high school graduation photo. That morning, my curls were pinned back, I was wearing a black gown and I was holding a bouquet of roses in my arms. I felt a sharp pain in my chest when I saw those bright blue eyes staring back at me.

Ben noticed I was watching TV. He stuffed the map into his pocket and placed a few bills on the table. He stood up and grabbed my hand.

"Come on, Olivia. Let's go," he said.

He pulled me out of the restaurant. The waiter opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when he saw the money on the counter.