"Ben" plays another classic black and white film. This is a Marilyn Monroe comedy like I've never seen. Ben actually fell asleep while watching the movie.
When it was over, I turned off the TV. Ben rested his elbows on the armrests and rested his head on his hands. I've always hated people who were awake, so I put him to sleep.
I kept my blanket wrapped around me as I walked across the hall to the bedroom. I went to bed and drifted off to sleep.
With a bang, my eyes flew open. I watched my sister Marcy shuffle across the kitchen floor. A blue robe was wrapped around her body, her black hair was tied messily on her head, and she wore slippers on her feet. She yawned as she opened the refrigerator. The door separated the two of us.
"Marcy," I said.
She bent down and picked up the can of orange juice. She turned around and picked up her cup and closed the counter.
"Marcy, look at me," I said.
She poured herself a glass of juice. She turned and looked out the window over the sink. I looked down at myself and saw that I was in my pajamas.
Someone took a deep breath and I looked up. My mother shuffled into the kitchen. She ran a hand through her short hair. She was wearing a baggy sweater and jeans.
"Good morning, Marcy," she said.
She pulled out a chair and sat at our small kitchen table.
Marcy turned around and she was leaning against the counter.
"You look tired," Marcy said.
"I haven't been able to sleep since Diana came back from the hospital," she said. "I'm always worried."
"Mom, she'll learn to adapt."
"I heard her getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. The poor kid was banging around."
I gasped for air, my chest burning. My muscles felt like they were tightening and I was having trouble breathing.
Mom cried and buried her head in her hands. Marcy put down her glass and put her arms around her mother. I tried to take a step closer, but I was stuck on the floor.
"I miss my daughter," the mother cried. Marcy rubbed her back. Marcy's tears ran down her cheeks. She bit her lip with her teeth in an attempt to control herself.
There was a thud above me and I heard uneven footsteps walking around the house.
"We need to stop," Massey said. "Diana didn't know we'd been crying. She was already distraught about it."
Mom pulled away. She sniffed as she wiped away her tears. Marcy went back to drink her glass of orange juice. I tried lifting my feet off the floor but they were stuck?
As I watched my mother's lips quiver, I wanted to hold her in my arms. She held back tears and closed her eyes.
"Good morning, Dee," Marcy said.
i look at myself
Stand in the door frame. I was wearing my favorite concert shirt and my hair was tied back. As I tried to enter the kitchen, my hands were stretched out in front of me. My eyes were now replaced by two empty holes. My eyes seemed to be gouged out, leaving only two black holes. The blackness in my eyes spread like vines across my face. Darkness entered my temples and trickled down my chin.
I pulled on my feet again, trying to free them. I glanced down and I felt my heart drop in my chest. The veins in my arms turned black and crawled along my limbs.
I opened my mouth to scream.
I woke up in a cold sweat. My clothes were soaked. I sat breathing heavily. The blankets were twisted and tangled around the bed. I looked around. Although there are no windows to let in the moonlight, the outlines of the furniture are clearly visible. I ran to the switch and turned on the light.
I quickly ran to the mirror. The eyes are still in my skull. The dark veins of my dreams no longer spread across my skin. I leaned forward to get a better look at my new green irises.
The large vertical slits in my pupils made it look like a stranger was looking back at me.
What will happen if I leave here? Will I go blind? And my family will have to take care of me. There are many blind people who can still lead normal lives!
The guilt of selfishness weighed heavily on my heart. I really don't want to live like that!
What would happen if I kept these eyes? I'd be a freak. I will have to hide behind sunglasses every day. Maybe you have to take medicine every day? !
I grabbed the knitted blanket from the bed and threw it on the mirror. I fixed it until it covered every piece of glass. I don’t want to look at my reflection. I don't want to see that stranger. I wanted to avoid the nightmare I was in.
I'll turn off the light and go to bed again. Pulling the sheets over your head, curled up into a ball next to me. I want to fall asleep again,
But this is impossible. My chest aches as I think about my future. Ben has been here for three years, so how long am I going to be here? If Vinnie isn't accepted into this club, will he kill me?
I shed burning tears. Sliding across my nose, down my cheeks, and onto the bed.
How is he going to kill me? He is a doctor, so he must know many methods. Could it be medicine? Will he put air into my veins? What if he gets so mad at being rejected that he takes it out on me? What if he made me feel as much pain as possible? He would know how to keep me and keep me alive while he tortured me.
I don’t know how long it took, but I fell into deep thought. Footsteps came from the corridor. I took a deep breath and wiped away the remaining tears. I listened as the handle turned and the door creaked open.
"Diana," Whinney said.
I kept hiding under the sheets. He turned on the light, and the light filtered through the thin sheets.
"Diana," he said again.
He reached up and pulled down the sheets. I glared at Winnie. He wore a lab coat over a cardigan and jeans. "I have your morning pill," he said.
Whinney looked around the room. He stopped when he saw the mirror covered with a blanket. He frowned.
"Why is the mirror covered?" he asked.
"Get it out of my room," I said. "I do not want."
"Why?"
"I do not like."
Winnie grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the bed. My hands balled into fists. I waved at Weenie, but he grabbed my hand again. I kick my legs. Winnie pulled me out of bed again. He unclenched my fist and put his arms around me. I screamed and tried to pry his fingers away. He turned me around. He had one arm around my waist and the other around my throat. His grip tightened as he pushed me forward. My nails dug into Whinney's fingers, but that made him hold on tighter. Only a sliver of air entered my lungs, causing my chest to tighten.
Winnie pushed me in front of the mirror. He let go of my throat and I gasped.
Winnie held me under my chin and forced me to look in the mirror. He forced me to take another step forward. The edge of the dresser dug into my hips.
Our reflections come into focus. My face turned red and I continued to breathe heavily. I didn't realize I was crying, but a few tears ran down my face. My hair fell out of my braids. Winnie held me in place, gritting his teeth. His glasses slid down his nose. I grabbed his hand and tried to pull him away from my chin.
"Why don't you dare to look at yourself?" he asked. "It's disgusting,"
I said. "Let me go!"
"Kitten, why can't you see?"
"you are sick."
"Look how beautiful you are." He squeezed his hand. His warm fingers pressed into my flesh. "You should thank me"
I squeezed my eyes shut. Couldn't stand looking at my shaking, crying body anymore.
"I hate you!" I cried out.
"You'll change your mind, very quickly," he said.
I shook my head. Winnie let me go. I leaned against him, his arms no longer around me, and I collapsed to the floor.
I wanted to get further away from him until my back was pressed against the bed. I crossed my arms over my chest to prevent him from trying to pull me back. I raised my legs and rested my forehead on my knees. I covered my mouth with my hands, trying to stop my sobs.
Whinney squatted down. He put down a glass of water. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic cup.
"Stretch out your hand," he said. "I have medicine."
I held out my trembling hand. Winnie poured the medicine into my hand. Three pills rested in the palm of my hand. Just three pills to keep me alive?
He put the medicine into his mouth and took a sip of water. Winnie smiled and stood up.
My eyes followed him as he walked out of the room. A lump formed in my throat when I saw Ben standing in the doorway. He leaned on his chest and crossed his arms. How much did he see?
"Here's your medicine, Ben," said Whinney.
Ben nodded and watched him leave before walking over. I quickly wiped the tears from my face. Ben knelt before me. My eyes locked on the dark spots on his arms.
He was the only one who knew what I was going through.
Suddenly, my arms were around Ben's neck. His arms slid around my waist, pulling me close to him. I buried my face in his neck. The tip of his scales sticking out of his collar was pressed against my cheek. Ben ran a hand up my back and into my hair.
“We’re never going to be normal,” I said.
"I know," Ben said. "We have to mourn what you lose and learn to accept what they give us. That's the only way to stay safe."
"I don't want it to be like this."
"Me neither." Ben's grip on me tightened, and I could hear him take a deep breath. "We'll come up with a plan together."
"Escape plan?"
"Escape plan!"
