I want to fall into a deep sleep. But the beeping next to me, the pain behind my eyes, made it impossible to sleep.
Every time I woke up, my heart was pounding, I would forget where I was and pull at the metal on my wrist. But Dr. Whinney never returned to the lab.
His head continued to throb, and a new pain came over his abdomen. My stomach growled. The last time I ate was lunch before heading to track practice. I don't know how long ago that was.
Footsteps sounded and Dr. Whinney was back. He pushed my head forward and pulled down the plastic mask. He put something in my ear and it made a beeping sound.
"No fever," he said. "You feel much better this morning. Are you hungry? I brought you something to eat."
"Yes," I said.
I used my elbows to push myself higher on the bed. The chair creaked as he turned over. "Open your mouth," he told me.
"I can do it," I said. "Let go of my hand."
"I'm not taking your bandages off," he said. "I can't remove them until tonight."
"You can keep the bandage. Let go of my hand."
He took a deep breath. The wheels squeaked and rattled. He grabbed my hand and let go of my wrist.
I rubbed my sore skin. I touched my face. Soft gauze. I put my hand on my chest. There was a thin robe covering me.
The wires stuck to my skin and I tracked them as they ran to the bed. My finger touched the plastic tube of the IV tube.
Whinney put his hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t pull anything out or try to stand up,” he told me. "If you do this, I will forcibly restrain you."
"Will you untie me when this thing falls off my face?"
"Yes, but only if you behave yourself."
He put some lights on my legs.
"I made you a sandwich," he said. His chair creaked and I ran my fingers over the cold plate until I felt the bread. I took a bite of the sandwich. The bread was dry, mustardy, and a bad taste filled my mouth. There is nothing in the world that I hate more than mustard.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
nonsense
I must have made a disgusted face while eating.
"I don't like mustard," I said.
"I'll remember that," he said.
I finished my sandwich. I thought about throwing the blanket off me and running, but that seemed pointless. I had so many different wires and tubes connected that I would trip and fall to the floor.
Winnie would grab me and tie me back to the bed. He will never let me go,
I never had a chance to escape. Who knows what will happen when I take these bandages off
anyway? I might be blind
Then I don't know
Winnie handed me a glass of water. I drank the glass dry. He snatched it from my hands and picked up the plate.
"Are you still in pain?" he asked.
“Better, but it still hurts,” I said. "Am I going to die?"
He said. "I think you'll make it. I can't wait to see what I create."
He grabbed my wrist, the metal ring tightening around my skin.
"Please, no," I said. I put my free wrist behind my body. "I promise not to run away."
"It has to be, kitten," he said. "I can't let you ruin my job, no need to panic."
He wrapped his fingers around my free wrist. I jerked my arm away. He grabbed my wrist again and twisted it hard. I screamed at the sharp pain in my arm. He took advantage of my moment of weakness and pushed my wrists down, locking them back into the restraints.
"Take a break," he told me.
Weenie came down about every hour, but he never said anything to me. I didn't move, pretending to be asleep, and he walked around the bed. I listened to the creak of the chair and the sound of his typing.
His fingers brushed along the inside of my arm as he pushed his wheelchair toward the bed. A shiver ran up my spine.
"Are you awake, Diana?" he asked.
I can't pretend to be asleep forever. He said he would take off my bandages tonight and allow my wrist to move freely.
"Yes," I said, and let out a shaky breath.
"How are you feeling?" "My head still hurts," I said.
"How long will it last?"
"I'm not sure. You'll have to keep taking painkillers for the next few days."
He pulled down the top of my nightgown and something cold touched my chest. I stepped away from Weenie and raised my hands. I wanted to push him away, but my hand couldn't reach far.
"Calm down," he said. "I'm listening to your chest, take a few deep breaths."
I took a deep breath. I balled my fingers into a fist. He moved his stethoscope to my chest. The cold air brushed against my bare chest. I wanted to pull my gown up and curl up into a ball.
When he was done, he pulled my gown up. His wheels squeaked and I heard a drawer pull out. I hope he's looking for the key. I listened as he walked around the room. A new set of wheels rolled towards me.
Winnie pulled the blanket back. I grabbed a handful of sheets before he pulled them off. I pulled back a small part of me. He fought with my fingers, trying to loosen them.
"Diana, don't fight me," he said. "I need to get your catheter fixed."
He took the blanket from me.
Catheter?
My sister is a nurse. When she was in school, she used to tell me some of her vulgar stories when she came home during the holidays.
She told me about learning to insert a urinary catheter. I realized it was the plastic tube between my legs. i don't want it
But I knew I had no choice.
I felt embarrassed when he touched my front, but this was even worse. I bit my lower lip as he pulled up the bottom of my dress. My fingers curled into the sheets covering the mattress. My heart was racing as he caressed my skin. I kept reminding myself that he was a doctor and he saw people naked all the time.
Relief washed over me as he pulled my robe off and put the blanket back on me. He stepped away from me, pushing something across the room.
There was a jingle, and then Whinney's hand was on my wrist. He untied the thing from my hand. He reached across the bed and let go of my other hand. I pushed myself up to sit up straighter. I sat up straight myself. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around myself. My arm ached, and the tape holding my IV in place pulled at my skin.
“I can’t wait to see my work,” Weiney said.
The bed deepened as he sat down on the edge of the mattress. He put his hands on my knees.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
I took a deep breath and had to nod!
